Let Me In (3 page)

              “My dad owns his own business.  He has always been under the assumption that I would follow in his footsteps and run the business after he retired.”  Tuck’s voice sounds heavy and bitter as he makes this proclamation.
              “I take it that you don’t want to do that?”
              “Not at all.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of what my grandpa and dad built on their own.  But I’ve never had any desire to sit behind a desk all day.”
              “So tell him.  You can’t live your life trying to please somebody else.  Life’s too short.  Carpe diem and all that crap.”  I wave my hands around to drive my point home.  Nobody understands better than me that you have to live for yourself.  I look at it as a waste to spend your life attempting to pigeonhole yourself into a certain slot that somebody had picked out for you.  We only have one shot at life, and it could be over in the blink of an eye.
              Tuck’s face becomes stony and resolute as he shakes his head.  “That’s easier said than done, Kori.  It doesn’t always work like that.”
              I am just about to open my mouth to argue with him that yes, it could work exactly like that when I realize that we are about to pass up the turn off for the parts store that is our destination.  I quickly point it out to Tuck, and he pulls in and finds a parking spot.  He seems anxious to end the conversation that we had floundered our way into, so I follow his lead and let the topic drop.  We stride into the store and soon leave with the part needed to get my Bronco back into running order. 
              “Anywhere else you need to go?” Tuck asks as we buckle ourselves back into his truck.
              “No, I’m good.  But if you have some more stops, please don’t let me hold you up.  I’m not in a rush.  My day is already shot, so I’m cool with whatever you need to do.”
              Since neither one of us have any extra errands to run, we make our way back to my house.  We pass the miles making small talk about events that have happened around campus.  I discover that Tuck is a frequent patron of Sawyer’s, and he knows my friend Kai quite well.  I am desperate to ask him if he has a girlfriend, but I don’t want to come across as presumptuous or desperate.  I’m not looking for a relationship; I am genuinely curious about this guy.  I have quickly discovered that as well as being exceptionally easy on the eyes, he is actually easy to talk to.  And it definitely doesn’t hurt that he makes all my girly parts tingle.  And I might have a secret desire to lick him – all over. 
              He shuts his truck off after he pulls into my driveway, and I grab my stuff as I prepare to leave. 
              “Thanks for the ride, Tuck.  I seriously owe you one.” 
              He waves off my thanks.  “It was my pleasure, Kori.”  He seems to be weighing something inside his head.  “Maybe I could stay and help you?”  I raise my eyebrows in astonishment.  He hastens to clarify unnecessarily.  “Not that I don’t think you can do it yourself.  I just thought we could hang out some more.”
              I am surprised by his offer.  I really like Tuck; he is definitely somebody that I can see myself being friends with.  The downside of this potential friendship is the fact that I am extremely attracted to him.  I really want to just haul him into my bedroom and screw his brains out.  Once I do that though, one of three things will happen.  One – things will either become strained between us and our young little friendship will be ruined.  Two – he will decide that we should pursue a relationship and our young little friendship will be ruined because a relationship is
not
what I want.  Or three – we will be able to view our coital tryst as a fun way to pass the afternoon and  our young little friendship will not be ruined and will grow into a wonderful, platonic friendship.  Now I, being the upbeat optimist (yeah right), am going to hold out hope that option three is what would happen if we were able to get together and tangle some sheets.  However, life being what it is, the chances of me getting exactly what I want seem slim to none.  Our young little relationship would be ruined.  Sure, we would both get a good time out of the ruination, but I kind of like Tuck too much to fuck and duck, which is what I normally do with guys.  The duck part being where I duck out of his house before morning so that I don’t have to have the whole
So I’ll call you
dance.  Because I never called.  Never. 
              So I decide to do what any other red-blooded American woman would do in my situation - deny my attraction to Tuck.  If I’m in denial, I still get to enjoy his hotness on a regular basis.  “Yeah, that would be good.  I’m just gonna run in and change into some old clothes.”  I motion with a jerk of my head for him to follow me into the house.  I run to my room and throw on some old clothes – a pair of cut offs, a tank top, and my old cowboy boots.  I had learned my lesson about working on cars in flip flops; a broken toe ensured that I learned the hard way.  I walk out of my bedroom as I pull my hair into a sloppy bun.  I take just a moment to enjoy Tuck’s reaction to my mechanic garb.
              “Shit, you are hot!”  He is frozen in place, eyes wide and mouth hanging open.  I feel a quiver race down my body as I watch the range of emotions flicker on his face as his eyes scan my body.  Shock, lust, horniness, lust, horniness.  I smirk at his blatant perusal of my body as I watch his eyes darken into the color of stormy water.  This guy is too hot for his own good.
              I clear my throat pointedly.  “If you’re finished?” I smile to let him know that I didn’t mind his reaction to me at all.  What girl doesn’t like to feel that she is hot, especially by a hot guy?  Not a single one.  I most assuredly am not going to be the one to take umbrage at his compliment. 
              He clears his throat and snaps out of his trance.  He flashes me a smile that could very easily make me agree to do anything.  “I don’t know if I’ll ever be finished, but we can get to work if you want.  Lead the way, boss.”

5

Tuck

              Kori O’Malley just might be the hottest, most beautiful girl I have ever met.  I’m wracking my brain trying to think of somebody hotter, but I’m drawing a complete blank.  She has Megan Fox beat, and the girl from last year’s
Sport’s Illustrated Swimsuit Edition
is no competition for her either.  Knockout.  And a personality to go with it.  I’ve got to find out if she is seeing somebody.  I know that I’m not the type of guy who typically dates, but for this girl I would be willing to make an exception.  When she walked out of her room in those short cutoffs and boots, I thought I was going to bust my shorts.  So damn beautiful.  Most girls would have blushed and been embarrassed at my evident reaction, but not Kori.  She’s without a doubt one-of-a-kind.  I almost like her too much to even attempt to ask her out.  Of course I want to fuck her, but I think she might just be more than that.  At the same time, I’m afraid that I would just screw up any attempt at a relationship with her, and then I probably wouldn’t be able to hang around her.  And even though we haven’t known each other for very long, there’s something about her that draws me to her.  I would hate to screw up a friendship just because I’m an asshole.  It would be best to keep everything strictly platonic.  But dammit, I want her.  I want to hold her and taste her and feel her from the inside. 
              I jerk myself out of my Kori-induced trance and follow her to a shed in the backyard.  I watch intently as she opens a large tool cabinet and deftly plucks tools out.  She lines her tools up neatly on a small crash cart and takes down a creeper that is hanging from hooks on the wall. 
              “Will you carry this for me, please?”
              I silently take the creeper from her and follow her to the front of the house.  I am aware that I am following her around like a puppy dog, but I’m too busy enjoying watching her ass twitch as she carries the crash cart to the front yard to care. 
Baseball stats, dead puppies, beer, algebra…
I need to think of anything to get my mind out of my pants.  My thoughts being where they are, I almost crash into her as she stops in front of her Bronco.  I quickly set the creeper down on the driveway as I turn to Kori.
              “Alright, what can I do to help you?” I ask as I watch her bend over the front of the Bronco.  Her tan legs meet the end of her cutoff shorts and seem to be begging my hands to touch them.  I swallow hard; I wasn’t too sure if my heart can stand much more temptation from her.  She appears to be totally oblivious to the fact that she is turning me on quicker than a teenage boy with his first porno. 
Focus, you asshole.

              The next couple of hours prove to be a mixture of heaven and hell for me.  It is sheer heaven because I am watching a hot girl work on a classic Bronco wearing cutoffs and boots.  It’s like a wet dream come to life.  Her competence is a turn-on for me; I have never met a girl who is so adept at mechanic work.  Most of the girls I know can barely change a flat tire, and this goddess has just changed an alternator.  On the other hand, I have been in pure and utter hell.  Have you ever seen something that you want more than anything, but you know you shouldn’t have it?  That sums up my feelings for Kori.  I now have a new understanding for how Adam felt when Eve tempted him with that apple.  I feel as if my life will be wasted if I don’t reach out and pluck Kori up.  I have the most uncontrollable urge to press her curves against my body.  But my desires go further than that.  I want to protect her and cherish her and never let her go.  That urge completely terrifies me.  I am not the type of man to go all noble and white knight on a woman; I am more the type to have a fun night and sneak out in the morning.  I view this as being completely opportunistic of me; why limit myself to one when the opportunities to love ‘em and leave ‘em are endless?  I’m not a dog or a complete asshole.  I love women; they’re beautiful and caring and useful.  I never promise them anything more than what I offer up front, so it’s their own fault if they expect more than I’m willing to commit to.  I can’t commit anything to Kori since that isn’t the type of guy that I am.  I need to keep things in the neutral friend zone.  This will definitely be a learning experience for me. 
              I clear my throat as I watch her deft hands work on the intricate machinations of the Bronco.  Every time I have attempted to help, she has waved me away or given me the idiot-proof job of handing her a tool.  God, I wish I could hand her my tool.  And I wish I could quit thinking like this. 
              I clench my eyes tightly shut when she stretches over to tinker with something under the hood.  Her shirt rides up, revealing tan skin that I long to touch.  My eyes narrow as they land on an angry red scar on her side.  I wonder what happened to mar her perfection.  It’s the only semi-flaw I’ve discovered on her, and I have a feeling that it does something to add to her character.  As in she’s who she is because of that scar. 
              “How long have you been playing the guitar?”  I have to break the silence or I’m going to go out of my mind with need.
              “Pretty much all of my life.  My mom played, so she taught me.”  Kori doesn’t look up from her work as she answers my question. 
              “Is that what you want to do with your life?  Do you want to teach music?  Is that why you’re in school?  ‘Cause I have to tell you, you’re too good to be around here.  You should be doing this big time.”  My questions pour out of my mouth faster than my brain can tell my mouth to slow the hell down and quit bombarding her.
              Kori looks up from the Bronco and pushes a curl out of her face, leaving a greasy smudge.  I would have looked like a douche with grease smeared on my face, but she somehow manages to look just a little bit hotter.  Before I can stop myself, I reach out and wipe the smudge with my thumb.  My hand lingers on her soft skin, and without thinking about it, I pull her head toward me and softly press my lips to hers.  I feel her body shiver as she responds to my kiss.  Then, just as quickly as it began, the kiss is over; she pulls away.
              “I’m sorry, Kori,” I lie.  I’m not sorry, not at all. 
              “No, it’s fine, Tuck.  It’s just…I…well…” she stammers as she seems to be searching for the words to say to me.  Her teeth press into her bottom lip as she chews on it.  She clears her throat and says firmly, “I don’t do relationships, Tuck.  I’m not that kind of girl.”
              My face must show my confusion.  What kind of girl doesn’t want a relationship?  I thought that was genetically programmed into them at conception. Before I can ask her to clarify her statement, she explains further.
              “I don’t need the drama in my life that comes along with a relationship.  I fuck guys, but that’s just it – fucking.  I don’t call anybody back, I don’t date, and I sure as hell don’t fall in love.  Trust me, there is nothing I would like more right now than to strip you naked and let my girly parts become acquainted with your not-so-girly parts, but sadly, I like you too much.  If we sleep together, we probably won’t be friends anymore.  And for some reason, that would make me sad.  I’ve never cared before, but I do now.  And now that I’ve spewed all of this at you, you probably think I’m some type of slut.”  Her voice dies off as she turns back to the part that she was working on.
              I am completely floored.  Brutal honesty like she has just shown me is not something that is found very often.  She actually seems to be the female version of me.  I wonder if her reasons for keeping herself emotionally unattached are anything like my reasons.  I don’t know if I should be relieved or if I should be worried.  I quickly make the decision that it doesn’t matter.  I feel that I know Kori well enough at this point that I can be confident that she isn’t a slut.  What’s wrong with enjoying sex?  We are both consenting adults, and she can do whatever the hell she wants. 
              “No, I don’t think you’re a slut, Kori.”  She looks up at me with those big beautiful green eyes.  “I’ve never met anybody who is totally honest like that.  Most people just lie and say what they think other people want to hear, but not you.”  I decide that I was just going to bite the bullet and put myself out there.  “I like you too, Kori.  I really,
really
want to be friends with you, but I also really, really,
really
want those parts that you were talking about to become acquainted also.  I think they could be friends.  Hell, they might could even be best friends. I don’t do relationships either, so we have that in common.  What do you say?”
              “And we aren’t going to let things be weird between us?”
              I watch as she cocks her head to the side and stares at me.  I feel as if she is waiting on bated breath for my response, and our entire future friendship hinges on my response.
              “No, I don’t think so.  I mean, I don’t want things to be weird for us.  Like we said, I like you and you like me.  We’re both adults.  We can just agree to this with no strings.”
              “Sooo,” she draws the word out as she carefully chooses how to articulate the words about to come out of her mouth.  “When do you want to do this?  Now?  Or are we just going to let the moment come naturally?”
              This is one of those moments that I know I will look back on and mull over the ramifications that it has on my life.  It is a bit surreal to be standing in Kori’s driveway in front of the truck she has been working on as we calmly discuss sleeping together.  I think we are both afraid of it ruining our friendship. Even though we haven’t spent but a handful of hours together, I feel as though we have known each other forever.  Kori is the type of person who you can’t help but like; she is honest and refreshing and witty and sarcastic.  All of these things are balanced just perfectly to where she doesn’t come across as bitchy, and when you blend it with her outer beauty, she is the total package.  I definitely want to be friends with her, and I will do everything in my power to ensure that we can stay friends.  If I weren’t such a selfish bastard, I wouldn’t pursue her, but it is a compulsion that I can’t seem to shake.  I have to have her, in any capacity that she will agree.  I just pray to God that this won’t ruin us.
              “Let’s just keep going how we are right now.  When it happens, and it definitely will, we’ll be prepared and won’t freak out.”  She smirks a sexy little grin at me and cocks her eyebrow.  I tack on an addendum.  “And if you change your mind, I won’t be mad.”
              “Tuck, I won’t be changing my mind.  Trust me.”
              I let out a big breath that I wasn’t aware I was holding.  “Thank fuck.  That would be the most depressing news I’ve had in a long time.”
              She lets out throaty laugh that seem to personify her.  “I’m glad we’re both on the same page.  Come on, quit trying to get in my pants.  I’ve got to get this truck fixed sometime today.”
              And just like that, we are back to normal.  I marvel that Kori has the poise to put us both to ease so effortlessly after such a loaded conversation. 
              “You never answered my question, Kori.”
              “What?  Yes, I did.  I thought we had discussed this and already figured it out.”
              I laugh at her confusion.  “No, not that.  Is music what you want to do?”
              “Oh, that question.  Yeah, it is what I want to do.  I’ve always wanted to be a singer, but my mom always wanted me to get a college degree.  Back up plan, ya know?  So that’s what I’m doing right now.  I’ve been taking the time to work on my performance and some original songs.  I just play random gigs around town, and I look into all the open mic nights that I possibly can.  I’ve been saving up some money to book a studio so that I can cut a demo.  Hopefully one day I can do this for a living.  I know that there’s about a million other hopefuls out there just like me, but that’s what makes it exciting.  If it wasn’t hard work, it wouldn’t be worth it.”
              I stare at her in amazement.  Growing up around Nashville, I have come in contact with countless people who thought they could make it big in the music industry.  Most of them thought they would come to town, cut a demo, some big-shot producer would hear it and they would be instantly signed.  Kori has braced herself for the effort that it is going to take.  In fact, she seemed to be looking forward to it.
              She turns to look at me.  “Do you think my dream is stupid, Tuck?  You can tell me if you do?  Lots of people think it is, and everybody is entitled to their own opinion.”
              I shake my head adamantly.  “Hell no, it’s not stupid.  I think you are wonderful.  And I think you will definitely be famous one day.”  Her beautiful face breaks into a big smile when I tell her that.  I feel my heart being pierced.  She is beautiful when her face is still, but when she breaks into a true smile, she transforms into the most beautiful being ever created.  The type that angels would gladly trade in their wings just to have a chance to look like her.  Absolutely breathtaking.
              I grin as she leans over and gives me a quick peck on the cheek.  “Thanks, Tuck. You’re pretty sweet.”
              I wink at her, then continue on with the question portion of our day.  “What kind of music do you want to sing?”
              She shrugs her shoulders as she answers me.  “I don’t really know.  Just music.  Not country, not rock, not pop – just music.  Just me.  I don’t know how to classify it.”
              I nod my head in understanding.  “I understand.  Maybe you could play me some of your original stuff one day.”
              “Sure, we’ll see.” 
              As she finishes up on the repairs to her Bronco, we slip into easy conversation.  I tell her about growing up with Chase.  She laughs as I rehash some of the pranks we had pulled and the trouble we had gotten into.  I listen as she talks about her two roommates and how they are like sisters to her.  I learn that her grandpa had taught her how to work on cars and they had restored the Bronco together.  I reveal to her that I have twin half-sisters who are twelve years younger than me whom I absolutely love.  She shares that she is an only child but had always wanted a younger brother.  I ask about her parents, and her walls instantly go up.
              “My mom died when I was sixteen,” she quietly murmurs.  “My dad isn’t around.”
              I squeeze her hand in sympathy.  “My mom died when I was five.  It’s definitely tough at any age.  I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
              She shakes her head at me and attempts a smile, but her eyes are dead.  They hold such sadness that I feel as if she is drowning in it.  She quickly shakes herself and hastens to change the subject.
              “I think I’m finished here.  Do you mind getting in and cranking her up?”
              Not surprisingly, the Bronco fires up without a sputter.  Kori insists on taking it for a joyride to ensure that it is working properly.  To my shock, she even lets me drive it without me having to beg too much.
              We are both laughing as we get out of the Bronco after our ride.  Kori motions me toward the house with her head. 
              “Come on in and I’ll fix you a bite to eat.”
              Who am I to argue with that?  I follow her in and plop down on the couch as she makes her way to the kitchen. 
              “Bacon sandwiches okay with you?”
              “Anything with bacon is okay with me.  Bacon is its very own food group in my eyes.  Monuments should be built in its honor.  Haikus should be written to spout bacon’s glory.  Bacon should be revered the entire world over.”  I seriously love bacon.
              I look up to find Kori staring at me with an amused look on her face.  “Um, Tuck?  It’s just a dead hog.  Calm your balls.”
              I burst out laughing at her words.  “Calm your balls?  What the hell is that?”
              “Oh, you know.  Calm your balls.  It’s pretty self-explanatory.  I wasn’t aware that it needed clarification.  Do you want me to draw you a friggin’ picture?”
              I shake my head at her as I continue to laugh.  “No, I don’t think an illustration will be necessary, although I would love to draw you.”  I take a brief moment to think about that.  It would be glorious.  “Calm your balls.  I’ll definitely have to remember that one.  And for what it’s worth, I don’t think my balls can be calm when I’m around you.”  I watch in rapture as Kori saunters to where I am sprawled on her couch.  Her face is impossible for me to read as she processes my words.  She stops at my knees and looks down at me with a mischievous grin.  She nudges my knee with her own as she bends down to whisper in my ear.  My entire body becomes tense as I wait for her to whisper something inappropriate in my ear.  Her warm breath tickles my ear and sends a zap straight to my pants.  Her hand comes up and playfully slaps my face with each word that she utters.