Left Behind (5 page)

‘
Well, James just moved back a little over a week ago. He is renting an office space in town, and guilted me into working in the office with him. It’s not too bad, I have my own space, but I have an attack if too many peo ple start coming in at one time, so I never leave my office.
Other than that, it is alright.’

“What kind of attack do you have and why?” He asked

‘
I keep forgetting you don’t know stuff. I have quit e a few phobias now, a couple of them being the fear of people, crowds, and op en spaces. It’s stupid I know.’
I looked down blushing. I hated the fact that he would see how weak I’d become.

“Look at me.” He commanded. It took me a minute to have the nerve, but when I looked up, he spoke softly. “Don’t hide your face from me . E
ver. There is nothing to be ashamed of. You are beautiful and strong. You’ve been through some rough shit, but so have we all. We all have our own scars, both physical and mental, but we’ll heal and move on.”

‘
I don’t think I can ever heal.
It’ll never be over for me. I don’t see how you can call me beautifu l and strong, when I’m neither.’
I signed heatedly with tears coming out of my eyes.
‘
Look at me right now. I never used to cry at the drop of a hat. I never used to hate getting up every morning looking in the mirror wishing I didn’t h ave to. I had actually just started being able to look in the mirror when James made me star t going into work with him.’

“See, that’s how I know you’re strong.” When I looked confused, he continued. “
Here you are, scared to be out in the open around people, but you’re doing it every day. You can blame it on James, but we both know he could never make you do anything. You’d do anything for him, so he is your motivation, but it’s you getting out there trying to overcome this obstacle. Pea, everyone is afraid of something. That doesn’t matter. What matters is how you handle that fear. You might have been hiding, and still are to a certain extent, but then again , at least you are trying. You have to overcome your fear. Trust me there are a lot of things I had to overcome to survive what I had to do and see in the Rangers.”

‘
What did you have to do over the re?’
I asked “I can’t and won’t go into details. But it was pretty much my team’s job to go in and do the rescues of POW
s . When we’d get intelligence on where a camp was, we’d do surveillance, and then we’d go in and do what we needed to get them out.”

I could see the pain in his eyes as he was telling me about it. I don’t know what he went through, but I kind of knew how he felt. We had both been forced to do things we didn’t want to do. His was voluntary, but it still lef t the same marks on a person.
‘
You don’t have to ever do it again do you?’

“Well, I was voluntarily discharged due to the injuries I received on the last mission, but the y can recall me if needed.” He saw the concern on my face and quickly added, “I’m all healed up now, it was nothing like what…” He trailed off.

‘
Nothing li
ke what? What happened to you?’
I asked.

“The la
st mission was a set up. We received bogus intel that led us into an ambush. T
he POWs that were supposedly there were actually the enemy. When we went in, everything was wired, and by the time we realized, we barely escaped the explosion alive. I did actually lose a member of my unit. I was infested with shrapnel in the back of my body, but I was still able to lead us out to the rendezvous point to get picked up.”

‘Can I see?’

He turned and lifted his shirt for me to be able to see his back . I gasped at the sight. He still had a pink scar about five inches long going vertically down his spine. The other thirty or so cuts were almost healed. I lightly traced his back with my fingers. When I traced the one on his spine, he lowered his shirt, turned back to face me, and spoke again.

“Most of it was superficial, but a larger piece was embedded in my spine. I was paralyzed from the waist down. The doctors removed it with surgery, but told me I might not recover. A week after the surgery, the swelling had gone down, and I was able to move my legs, so I started rehab. I’ve spent the last four months in a rehab center. Now here I am, and I’m alright.”

‘
Will you be able to run the ranch and work with the horses again?’
I signed.

He gave that heart-stopping smile. “Of course. Can’t nothin’ keep me o f f a horse. You know that.”
He drawled, suing an exaggerated southern accent.

‘
Do you st
ill have Larry, Curly, and Moe?’
I asked. Those were Toby’s, Tory’s, and Troy’s horses named after the three stooges. Their grandpa Tobias used to c all the trips the three stooges because of how they acted so when he gave them each a horse that’s what they named them.
Grandpa Tobias got a real kick out of it.

‘
Yep, we sure do. We still have Nosey, too .
’
He laughed, referring to my horse. I had named her Nosey when she was born because she would always poke me with her nose when I came over. We got real attached, and they ended up giving her to me for my birthday that year.

We talked about the ranch a little longer, him telling me they were going to restock the breeding mares and stallions so they could start their breeding and training business again. They had sold off all of their horse stock when they extended their tour in the military. They had already decided to invest the money, let it grow with interest, and do a restock when they got out. The money would help them keep the business in the black and give them time to start the breeding.

After talking for another half an hour, we decided Toby would bunk at the house for the night, so we got up and headed home. Toby grabbed my hand again, (this time I didn’t flinch) and we set off down the path.
When we hit the tree line, I saw something that stopped me in my tracks.

Toby turned to look at me when he felt that I was no longer following.

“Pea, what’s wrong?” He asked me

I had started shaking. I couldn’t breathe. There was no possible way for that to have been there. Oh, my God! I hit the pendant on my bracelet, and started to hyper ventilate.

“Come on, Pea, tell me what’s wrong.” Toby shook my shoulders trying to get me to respond.

“Marti!”
He
yelled.
“What are you looking at?”

Jordan and James came running up. Not taking my eyes off of the object, I just pointed. I heard the intake of breath from my brothers. I knew they’d never leave that there. They knew what it represented.

A single thornless long stem red rose.

I woke up in pain. It was dark in the room, and when I tried to sit up to see better, I realized I was still locked up in handcuffs. This time, though, I was lying in a bed. My legs were not tied, but they hurt too much from all the cuts from the whip he used. I couldn’t move. And I couldn’t scream because my throat hurt from screaming through the gag. I remembered that my body had finally numbed and I had lost my voice. He stopped after that, thinking my silence was me finally submitting to him. He took me down from the wall and cuffed me to the bed. After that is when I passed out. Now I felt sick to my stomach from the pain.

I heard the locks click, and my heart started racing in fear.
He was back and I didn’t know what else he would do to me.

He walked in with a tray of food and wine. When he set it on the night stand, he bent over and kissed me while unlocking the handcuffs. He helped me sit up, and handed me a long stem rose.
“Forgive me, please .” He said, looking like he genuinely sorry. “I got you a rose. I know it’s your favorite, and it looks perfect with your beautiful, flawless skin.”

My hands were shaking, but I was afraid of what he’d do if I didn’t accept it. When I took it a thorn pricked my thumb and I dropped the rose.

“I’m sorry, Pet. I should have removed the thorns. I wasn’t thinking.” He said in a loving tone. “I was just anxious to get breakfast to you. I made your favorite.’

I looked at the tray and saw a bowl of cheese grits and a glass of wine. I didn’t drink wine with breakfast, I didn’t know who did, but I thanked him anyway in a hoarse voice .

“Are you in
pain?
” He asked. Concern laced his voice.

No, ya think!
But I couldn’t say that out loud or it would set him off. “
Yes, M
aster.” I said instead, looking down at the mattress. He had taught me to always answer him with ‘yes’ or ‘no’ or full explanations, ending every statement or question with ‘master’. I was never to look him in the eyes, unless he commanded me to.

“Well, I brought you something for pain. It should help you sleep while you heal a little more, too .” He lifted my chin so he could look me in the eyes. I tried to school my expression so he wouldn’t see the mix of fear and hatred that I was sure was in them, but I think he saw any way, by the flash of anger that crossed his face before his caring mask came back up. “I’m sorry I had to be harsh, but you have to learn your role, Pet.
”

“Yes, Master.” I said as I saw him take a needle I
hadn’t noticed off the tray. “M
ay I ask a question, Master.”

“Yes you may.” He answered, taking my arm and straightening it out, preparing to inject me with whatever was in the needle.

“Please, Master, what is in the needle?”

“It’s morphine, Pet. It’ll help you, but I want you to eat.”
He said while injecting me with the medicine.

Tears were sliding down my cheeks. “Please, Master, I’m not hungry. I feel sick.”

That finally made him angry. “I made this food, so you’re going to EAT IT!” He was yelling by the time he was finished. He backhanded me. While I was trying to sit up again, feeling dizzy from what he gave me, he turned, picked up the food, and handed me the bowl. “Now EAT!”

I held the bowl in my left hand, which was already shaking, and picked up the spoon in my ri ght, but I couldn’t see straight. My head felt light and airy and like everything was in slow motion. I tried to eat but missed my mouth. Blain knocked the bowl out of my hand and I knew I was in trouble.

***********************************************************************

“Come on, Sis! Snap out of it! I won’t let him get you! Sis!” Jordan grabbed my face to where I had to look at him. “He’s not here, Sis. You have to breathe. Just look at me and take deep breaths.”

I did. I started trying to match Jordan’s breathing, and I finally noticed I was being held. Toby must have picke d me up at some point, but I had been to o lost in flashbacks to notice. I was crying so I wiped my eyes and tried to calm myself. I was safe. Jordan and Toby were there, and James was run ning up the path towards us, having gone back to get his 550 Beretta. He had bought it and trained on how to use it after the incident because he knew I wouldn’t touch a gun. Jordan had done the same, and I noticed his Sig Su a er SP2022 tucked in the front of his pants. I was safe. None of these men would let anything happen to me, but then I looked back down at the rose. What if they got hurt trying to protect me?

Toby started walking to the house, carrying me like I weighed nothing. He was rubbing my arm with the hand holding my upper body, and clutching my thigh with the one under my knees. I knew he was angry, even though he was whispering nonsense in my ear trying to calm me. I looked at him and mouthed how sorry I was . He couldn’t hear a sound, but he knew what I was saying.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Pea.” He whispered softly in to my hair.

I just wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face against him. He carried all the way back to the house, and straight to my room. He laid me down on the bed and took my shoes off. He then sat down taking his boots and socks off followed by his shirt. He lay down , on top of the covers, facing me.

“You need to get some sleep, Marti.”

I knew he was seriously worried when he called me by my name.

‘
I don’t like sleeping. I alway s have nightmares when I sleep.’
I signed.

Toby put one hand on my hip, pulling me closer to him, and situated his other arm under my head as a pillow. We were close together, but I still had room to sign to him.

We heard a knock on the doorframe, (the door still being open) and saw Jordan, James, and Shelby standing there.

“Are you ok
ay
, Sissy?” James asked tentatively.

I nodded and motioned for them to come in. They all sat at different places on the bed, James and Shelby holding hands. I tried to sit up, but Toby tightened his arms around me to keep me still.

I sighed and signed
, ‘
I’m ok ay . I’m just scared of what he’s going to do. I don’t want anyone else to get hurt, and he will hurt or probably kil l anyone who keeps me from him.’

“He won’t come near us. We’ll stick together through this and keep you safe this time. I won’t let him take you again, Sis.” Jordan said fervently. “He’s done messed with the wrong family this time. It’s me who’ll kill him if I see him.”