L8r, G8r (25 page)

SnowAngel:

hey, madikins. i'm txting from the lurvely el cerrito to tell you to have a good spring break!!!

SnowAngel:

u there?

SnowAngel:

no?

SnowAngel:

well, i saw yr tweet about how yr mom is already making plans to turn yr room into a study, and ooo, that's cold.

SnowAngel:

dr. phil sez parents aren't supposed to convert their kids' rooms until they've been gone for at least a year. otherwise it sends the wrong message.

SnowAngel:

okay, back to me. omg, mads, it's WEIRD to be here! chrissy looks so much older. her clothes r hipper than mine, which is extremely scary and wrong.

SnowAngel:

well, they're not REALLY hipper. c'mon. but too hip for comfort.

SnowAngel:

but i'm glad i'm here, despite the fact that my right ear is all pluggy from the airplane. and you know what occurred to me as i was in the cab? next year when i visit my family in el cerrito, i can pop over and visit YOU in santa cruz! IF you send in your thingie, that is. have you yet? cuz yr kinda taunting me by not, you know! it makes me get my hopes up for georgia!

SnowAngel:

okey-dokey, smokey. fam's taking me out for thai.

SnowAngel:

kissies!!!

mad maddie:

i just made myself a whomping good peanut-butter-and-banana
sandwich. anyone who slices their banana instead of mushing it up with the peanut butter is tragically misguided. agreed?

mad maddie:

ahhhh. so now YOU'RE away-from-phone, angela. naughty girl. wha'cha doing, shopping for souvenirs in bee-yoo-tee-ful san francisco? today is the day you're going to san fran, right?

mad maddie:

you better bring me some of that cantaloupe-flavored gum you got last time. and i want a t-shirt with “i heart san francisco” on it, or your ass is grass.

mad maddie:

speaking of asses, i saw logan at the drugstore this morning. he was wearing those khakis that make his butt look fat, and all i cld think was, why oh why haven't you plucked those from his closet and burned them?

mad maddie:

i went over to say hey, and he was totally no-eye-contact-boy, like he didn't wanna talk. wassup with that?

mad maddie:

ok, enough talking to myself. l8rs!

SnowAngel:

saw yr instagram pic of that waffle. that was weird, mads.

mad maddie:

weird? or delightful?

SnowAngel:

BUT i figured that meant you had yr phone out and on, and sure enough you do! so yay! hello!

mad maddie:

hello, cali girl, hello!

SnowAngel:

i can't talk for long, cuz we're going over to mr. boss's for dinner, where i will have to c the dreaded glendy. *sticks arms out and walks like a zombie*

SnowAngel:

want me to pass on any messages for you?

mad maddie:

yeah, to quit sending me her stupid chain letters. i got one yesterday about those damn bonsai
kittens FOR THE 2nd TIME. she already sent me one about the damn bonsai kittens, and now here she is doing it again!

SnowAngel:

what bonsai kittens?

mad maddie:

you don't know about bonsai kittens??? there's someone in the universe who hasn't heard of bonsai kittens?

mad maddie:

here, let me enlighten you. first i'll paste in what she said at the top of the email:

 

i'm crying as i'm typing. this can't be happening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we HAVE to stop this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mad maddie:

and here's the body of the message:

 

A site that we were able to shut down last year has returned. We have to try to shut it down again! (
bonsaikitten.com
) A Japanese man in New York breeds and sells kittens that are called BONSAI KITTENS. That would sound cute, if it weren't kittens that were put into little bottles after being given a muscle relaxant and then locked up for the rest of their lives!! The cats are fed through straws and have small tubes for their feces. The skeleton of the cat will take on the form of the bottle as the kitten grows. The cats never get the opportunity to move. They are used as original and exclusive souvenirs. These are the latest trends in New York, China, Indonesia, and New Zealand. This petition needs 500 names, so please put your name on it!!! Copy the text into a new email and put your name on the bottom, then send it to everyone you know! THIS NEEDS TO BE STOPPED NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SnowAngel:

omg, that is the most awful thing i've ever heard in my life!

mad maddie:

yeah, only IT'S NOT TRUE. there is no such thing as bonsai kittens, nor is there rat urine on or in your coke can, nor is there a mass murderer out there who lures women from their homes with a crying baby. NONE OF IT IS TRUE!!!!

SnowAngel:

a mass murderer lures women out of their houses with a crying baby?! ooo, that's freaky. what does he do, leave the baby on the porch or something? what does he do with the baby afterward???

mad maddie:

yr yanking my chain, right?

mad maddie:

THERE IS NO CRYING BABY! THERE ARE NO BONSAI KITTENS!!!!!

mad maddie:

just go to
urbanlegends.com.
you can look up anything and see if it's real or bogus.

SnowAngel:

oh, wow, you just used the word “bogus.” *touches maddie reverently*

mad maddie:

shuddup

mad maddie:

so i talked to zo yesterday. she's all fluffy with pride cuz she's officially safe birth-control-wise.

SnowAngel:

has she told doug?

mad maddie:

yeb'm. she couldn't muster the courage in atlanta, but she was able to from tennessee when they didn't have to be face to face. apparently she had to hike up a quasi-mountain in order to get a strong enough signal to call him. isn't that so zoe?

SnowAngel:

awww. was he excited?

mad maddie:

they didn't have phone sex, if that's the kind of excited you mean.

SnowAngel:

no, that's not what i meant

SnowAngel:

she prolly told him long-distance cuz she wanted to give him something to look forward to. something to keep her on his mind.

mad maddie:

why? doug wouldn't stray, not in 1000 yrs.

SnowAngel:

i know, but it's part of zoe's deal with him to be paranoid anyway. i'm sure she's missing him like crazy.

mad maddie:

are you missing logan like crazy?

SnowAngel:

hmm, how to respond …

SnowAngel:

well, i saw a really cute boy at the embarcadero, and i totally lusted after him. like, bad hormone crazy-lust. does that answer your question?

mad maddie:

it should tell YOU something, that's for sure

SnowAngel:

i know, which is why—*deep breath*—i'm gonna break up with logan as soon as i get back in town. i am, and no wimping out. and no worrying about the jeep, which of course i'll offer to give back.

SnowAngel:

r u proud?

mad maddie:

yes, i am

SnowAngel:

this trip has been good for me, just to give me clarity on it all. it's NOT fair to logan to keep going out with him. he's such a good guy. he deserves better.

mad maddie:

right on

SnowAngel:

and i'm gonna drop the whole jana thing, i truly am. even if she does something to get back at me for the health center letter (which you've got to admit was frickin brilliant).

SnowAngel:

but we're seniors. we should be above this crap.

mad maddie:

wow, i almost believe you. but let's hold off on that 1 till yr back in the same state with her, k? i don't want you holding yourself to unreasonable standards.

SnowAngel:

i just wanna rid my life of pointless shit, that's all. i want my life to matter!