L8r, G8r (13 page)

mad maddie:

me, apparently. isn't it shocking? didn't she totally put me in my place?

SnowAngel:

i don't get it. what have you done that's slutty recently?

mad maddie:

RECENTLY?!!!

SnowAngel:

lol

mad maddie:

omg, i can't believe u!

SnowAngel:

sorry sorry sorry, i'm TERRIBLY sorry. *kisses maddie's unslutty butt repeatedly*

SnowAngel:

so what did u say?

mad maddie:

i said, “jana, jana, jana … must we have such a potty mouth? Boo Boo Bear would NOT approve!”

SnowAngel:

*claps hands in delight* for real?!

mad maddie:

no. i just looked at her like *yr such a dumbshit.* it wasn't worth the trouble of a reply.

SnowAngel:

damn! i mean, DARN. (sorry, Boo Boo Bear!)

mad maddie:

it's too bad, really, that after my extremely impressive “lying liars” display, that's all she could come up with.

SnowAngel:

um …

mad maddie:

yesss? you have a comment you would like to make?

SnowAngel:

just that it couldn't have been all she could come up with

mad maddie:

what r u saying?

SnowAngel:

that one little remark, it couldn't have been the “plan” mary kate overheard her talking about. cuz if it was, then she's … i dunno. feeble.

mad maddie:

vincent said she's going thru some tough shit—not that i care. maybe it's affected her brain.

SnowAngel:

don't tell me that—then i have to feel sorry for her!

SnowAngel:

what kind of tough shit?

mad maddie:

i dunno, just that it has to do with her stepmonster. blah blah blah.

mad maddie:

and DON'T feel sorry for her. god. if you need to feel sorry for someone, feel sorry for ME. i'm the one she called a slut!

SnowAngel:

poor old madikins!

mad maddie:

and poor old angela-kins. she basically called you a slut 2, or have you forgotten? she just tricked everyone into blaming it on zoe.

SnowAngel:

point taken

SnowAngel:

just watch your back, k? betcha a million dollars she's up to something more.

mad maddie:

pah, she's feeble.

zoegirl:

well, i did it. i took my very 1st pill.

mad maddie:

nice work. have you told doug?

zoegirl:

i decided i want to take them for at least a week and THEN tell him. that way i can be, “oh, and btw, i'm on the pill now.” you know, very blasé.

zoegirl:

it's strange, i feel sometimes like i *need* to be
blasé with him—but only when i'm not with him. when i'm actually with him, i *can't* be blasé. does that make sense?

mad maddie:

no

zoegirl:

i know, it doesn't to me either!

zoegirl:

it's like i'm being sucked into him. at times i feel this need to resist, but then i get near him and i think, “omg, i would die without him.” as in literally die.

zoegirl:

i know it sounds crazy.

mad maddie:

you shouldn't let him control you that much, zo.

zoegirl:

he doesn't *control* me. i just love him.

mad maddie:

uh huh, same difference. jk.

mad maddie:

hey, i found the most awesome webseries—you've gotta check it out. it's by this chick named amy winfrey who makes animated cartoons. there's muffin films, making fiends, and big bunny.

zoegirl:

uh … ok. do you not wanna talk about doug anymore?

mad maddie:

big bunny's my fave. it's about 3 kids who go into the forest even tho they're not supposed to, and they meet this humongous bunny who says things like, “do not run, tasty children!”

mad maddie:

they ask the bunny if he's seen their dog, and he says, “noooo, i have seen no fluffy crunchy doggies around here. maybe the yummy puppy has gone home!”

zoegirl:

huh

mad maddie:

there's a theme song and everything. go to
big-bunny.com
.

zoegirl:

um, ok, when i get a chance.

mad maddie:

angela, yr on my bad list!

SnowAngel:

i am? why?

mad maddie:

and i quote: “Tonight your true love will realize how much they love you between 1 and 4 in the morning. Tomorrow the shock of your life will occur if you break the chain, and you will have bad luck for 10 years if you don't pass this on to 15 people.”

SnowAngel:

uh oh *takes big tiptoe steps backward*

mad maddie:

you know who it's from, don't you?

SnowAngel:

er … glendy?

mad maddie:

YES, glendy! aaargh!

SnowAngel:

can i help it if she likes you? yr very likable, maddie.

SnowAngel:

did you break the chain?

mad maddie:

what do u think?

SnowAngel:

uh oh, hope yr ready for the shock of your life …

mad maddie:

that stuff is such garbage. who believes that crap?

SnowAngel:

i sent out a chain letter when i was 10. a snail-mail chain letter, one of those where yr supposed to put your name on the bottom of the list and send a dollar to the person on the top of the list. i was supposed to receive thousands of dollars within the next month, but i never did.

mad maddie:

go fig

SnowAngel:

i was very hardcore about it, 2. i sent it to my camp buddies and used all sorts of emotional blackmail, like, “c'mon, trish, i know YOU won't let me down.” i feel bad about it now.

mad maddie:

you should. you should write them all an apology.

SnowAngel:

um … i'll keep it in mind

mad maddie:

hey, wanna do something? go somewhere?

SnowAngel:

YEAH! i was supposed to go with logan to pick out an interview suit for summer internships, but i'll call and tell him i can't.

mad maddie:

shld i invite zoe?

SnowAngel:

sure, but i bet she's with doug

SnowAngel:

cya in a jiff!

SnowAngel:

oh ha ha, maddie. very funny.

SnowAngel:

i just checked my email, and what should i see waiting for me in my inbox?

SnowAngel:

yr supposed to send it to 15 DIFFERENT ppl, you freak!

SnowAngel:

yr still gonna get the curse unless you send it to 14 other ppl!!!!!!!!

mad maddie:

angela, yr not trying to play some kind of trick on me, r you? to make me think i'm cursed?

SnowAngel:

huh?

SnowAngel:

OHHHHH, cuz of that chain letter from glendy. what happened? did you drop a dr pepper on your foot? ha ha!

mad maddie:

angela, i'm not joking. i came home to 17 voicemails on our HOME phone. our land line! and they're all from guys saying they wanna … do stuff with me. or TO me.

SnowAngel:

what?!

mad maddie:

they know my name. and some of them are really really sick.

SnowAngel:

OMG

SnowAngel:

who r they from?

mad maddie:

i don't know, i don't recognize any of them.

SnowAngel:

could it be vincent? could he be pranking you?

mad maddie:

these r, like, old guys. all DIFFERENT guys, some with accents and some really gruff and … no, it's not vincent.

mad maddie:

i don't actually think it was you, either. obviously.

SnowAngel:

it's jana. it's jana, isn't it?!! THAT'S what the slut remark was all about!

mad maddie:

she must have written my name and number in a gas station bathroom … or maybe put an ad on a dating website?

SnowAngel:

call 1 of the guys back and ask where he got your number

mad maddie:

NO!

mad maddie:

they think i'm a call girl or something. i'm totally creeped out, angela.

SnowAngel:

ok, listen. if anyone calls, DON'T pick up.

mad maddie:

i already unplugged the phone, but the voicemail's digital and i can't figure out how to deactivate it. what if ppl leave more messages? what's gonna happen when my parents get home?

SnowAngel:

yr there by yourself?!!

SnowAngel:

i'm coming over. you shouldn't have to deal with this alone.

mad maddie:

that would be really really great, actually. thanx, a.

SnowAngel:

i'm on my way!!!