Authors: Paulette Miller
Meanwhile, Penny was now sitting quietly in the passenger seat with Ben driving. He and Chad had hidden in the backseat so that they could offer her comfort. Feeling her anguish, Ben had asked her to pull over as soon as she was out of sight of the house. She gratefully gave him the keys since she was having a hard time seeing with her eyes red and swollen from crying.
Penny hadn’t said a word since leaving the house, but words weren’t necessary with Ben. He had experienced the scene multiple times through Penny’s mind. Although it had all been an act for Thorne’s benefit, Penny’s tears were quite real. She forgot how cold and unfeeling the old Ice was and hearing his words of hatred toward her was almost more than she could take.
When the scene of Jax leading Chloe to his bedroom flashed repeatedly in her mind, Ben responded to her thoughts. “None us knew that Chloe was a part of this. I know how much it hurt you, but Jax had to make all of our expressions of shock look real to make the scene believable.”
Penny replied, “I know and it worked. But to see him with Chloe in his arms and seeing the look on her face… I don’t think she was acting. She was there because the old Ice called her and she came running.” Penny’s mind instantly filled with images of what Jax could be doing at that moment to convince Chloe that their deception was very real.
Feeling her jealousy and sense of betrayal, Ben said, “I guarantee that he was the old Ice only because he could never have done what he needed to do as Jax. Your safety is his number one priority and you know that he doesn’t do anything half way. He knew how hard it was going to be for you to act out fake pain. Seeing you in real agony, although difficult, most likely saved your life. Try to push it all out of your mind. It’s over now.”
“But that’s the thing. It isn’t over and never will be. We may have fooled Thorne, but he’s just one of many. We’ll have to keep this ruse going forever or we risk exposing the truth. I honestly don’t care what happens to me, but I refuse to let them hurt the ones I love most in this world because of me. If they find out, they won’t hesitate killing all of you or worse. They could use you to make examples of what they do to traitors.”
‘We’ll be fine and we’ll find a way to make this work out.” Although she nodded in response, he heard her thoughts of doubt.
Once they arrived at her cabin, Ben escorted her in and Chad brought up the rear. She found her phone in her purse and, when she turned it back on, it beeped continuously informing her that she had a bank of texts waiting for her. Seeing that they were all from Susi, she decided to read them later. Instead she sent her a quick reply stating that she was okay and that Ben and Chad were with her. Seeing no text from Jax, she excused herself to go change her clothes.
While Ben waited for her to return, he and Chad walked around to marvel at the many sketches that covered the walls. Seeing a section that had already been painted, he knew that the designs were guides for her planned masterpiece. When Penny returned, Ben exclaimed, “Your sketches are fantastic! I know you told me that you were painting your bedroom, but I had no idea that your entire cabin was your canvas.”
“It’s lonely here at night and painting keeps my mind distracted.”
Pointing to a roll of chicken wire and other non-standard decorating supplies, he asked with genuine interest, “What’s your overall plan?”
“I’m going to make this room look like a camp in the woods. I’ve been studying 3-D design on the internet and plan to have my artwork come out of the walls.” What she didn’t say out loud was that it was a scene from Crater Lake where she had spent a very passionate night with Jax.
Ben said, “This is quite an undertaking.”
“You already know that I haven’t been sleeping well so I have a lot of free time on my hands.”
Ben was very aware of her situation so she didn’t need to elaborate any further. He held out his hand and led her to the couch. Once they were seated and Chad’s Great Dane head was resting on her lap, he said, “I do know how painful tonight was for you and how hard the coming months will be, but I have an idea.”
“What’s that?”
“A week ago when I stopped in to see you at work, I overheard the others asking you to join them for a few drinks. When you said no, I didn’t press it at the time, but now I think it’s time to offer a different answer.”
“The twins already talked to me about this a few days ago.”
“They’re right. Until we figure this out, you’ll need others to help you.” Seeing her wariness, he added, “Try giving yourself a break from all of this and enjoy your world for a while.”
She nodded, but refused to commit to anything.
They all turned to the window when they heard a wolf howl. Ben said, “My ride is here. Are you going to be okay if I leave you? I could stay.”
“No. Thorne could get suspicious if you don’t return and I could never do a repeat show of what we did tonight. I’ll be fine. I wanted to try and build a tree trunk anyway.”
She escorted her guests to the back door and, after giving both of them a long hug, they walked off toward the trees. Even after they disappeared into the dark, she stayed and stared into the woods to listen to the night. As miserable as she was, she was shocked to find that that the forest was full of the sounds of normal woodland life. She sighed deeply, realizing that the rest of the world was going on even though she felt like yet another door was slammed in her face.
She went back into her cabin and cranked up rock music so loud that it rattled the windows. It filled her mind and drowned out any other thought. With her ears ringing, she walked up to the chicken wire and began her work.
Out in the woods, Razor’s phone rang. After a brief discussion, he hung up and said to Thorne and Sam, “Sorry, but we need to cut our hunt short. Ice just called and said that there’s a problem in Portland.” He looked up into the night sky and seeing that morning was on its way, he said, “If we want to join his hunt, we have to get back to the house immediately.”
Thorne scanned the woods and asked, “What about the twins? I think we lost them.”
Sam replied, “Who knows where those two ran off to. If you want to get to Portland before morning, we don’t have time to track them down.”
Thorne replied, “Then we better get moving.”
Using their gift of speed, the three arrived to find Ice consoling a very disappointed date. They guessed that she didn’t get the passionate night that she was hoping for.
By the time they had gathered a few supplies and loaded the Rover, the twins arrived home with Ben and Chad in tow. Jax approached Taylor and said, “I need to leave for a while and I don’t know when I’ll be back. Can you and Tadd make sure Chloe gets back home? Since it’s already late, I told her that she could stay in my room tonight. You can drive her home tomorrow.”
Razor tossed Tadd a set of keys and said, “We’ll be taking the Rover so you can drive her home in my car.”
The twins agreed and before Ice headed out the door, he pulled Chloe into his arms and said, “I’m truly sorry that our night didn’t go as planned. I won’t be around for a while, but I promise that I’ll contact you as soon as I can.” Seeing the disbelief in her eyes, he lifted her chin and gave her a kiss so deep and full of desire that she staggered when she was released. Everyone watching froze, completely taken aback that Jax was capable of showing such passion.
Susi watched the latest scene while standing in the doorway to her bedroom. As soon as the Rover pulled away, she sent another text to Penny that said, “Part 2 is in motion.”
Although Penny couldn’t hear her phone over the music, she felt it vibrate in her pocket. The cryptic message informed her that Jax was off to infiltrate back into his world. Although she knew that he couldn’t risk contacting her in any way, she couldn’t stop the pain. She desperately wanted to hear his voice tell her that he didn’t mean anything he said and that everything would be okay.
After reading the message, she tossed the phone onto the couch and turned up the music a little louder.
Penny tried with all of her might to live each day without her Changeling family but, instead of getting easier, their absence felt like a weight crushing her chest. Spending time in the cabin she loved continued to offered her little comfort. When at home she would constantly shoot glances at shadowed corners, hoping to feel Casper’s tingle or waiting for Jax to magically appear. Her new inner voice wanted desperately to talk to him for a few minutes and even dialed his cell number several times. But before she could initiate the call, Razor’s warning flashed in her mind and she tossed the phone. She looked out the window and knew that her family was watching over her from afar, but not being able to see their faces was almost more than she could bear.
In desperation, she had done as they had suggested and went out with people from work a few times. She had successfully hidden her pain from them beneath her camouflage, but her heart wasn’t in it. When Charlie called her, wondering why she hadn’t heard from her in over a week, Penny had to tell her not to contact her again until further notice. Penny wouldn’t risk doing anything that exposed their lie and endangered her family, especially Jax. Charlie agreed, but she had several not so polite words to say that expressed her opinion on the whole matter.
After another night alone staring at her half painted walls, Penny stood and exclaimed, “That’s it! I need to get away from this place for a while.”
When she spotted the familiar blue bag that held the remaining ashes of her family members, a plan formed. It had been over two months since she returned from her trip and the weather was starting to turn colder, announcing the arrival of fall. Her mother’s birthday was at the end of the week and she decided it was the perfect time for her to say her final farewell to her Human family. She decided to take a trip up the mountainside alone and spread the ashes.
The next day she made arrangements with her boss, John, to take a few days off work. Although she confided all of the details of her plan with him, she didn’t want anyone else to know.
John replied, “You’ve been working non-stop since you came back and only take a day off when forced, so I think it’s a great idea that you get away for a few days. Is your traveling friend Jax going with you again?”
“No, he’s out of town.” Knowing she needed to continue her lie into her Human life, she said, “He and I had a falling out and aren’t speaking.”
“I’m very sorry. I know that he meant a great deal to you. Does the rest of his family at least know about this trip?”
“No, and I would like to keep it that way. This is something that’s between me and my family.”
“But aren’t Jax and the others your family too? You used to speak of them that way.”
“I loved them all very much, but they aren’t part of my life any more. Anyway, I need to say my final goodbye by myself.”
“I wish you weren’t going alone. Not because I don’t think you’re capable of handling yourself out in the woods…I hate to think of you doing this without a shoulder to cry on.”
“It seems like all I have done for months is cry and it’s time for me to stand on my own two feet again. I love the woods. They’re my second home and I already know the perfect place for my family’s final resting spot. This outing will give me time to clear my head and plan my future. To do that, I need closure so that I can move on.”
“If anyone asks me where you are, what should I tell them?”
After a moment to consider her answer, she said, “Just tell them I went out of town for a few days to offer advice to another one of our stores that’s having trouble.”
“That’s actually not a bad idea and I bet headquarters would agree. You’ve done amazing things with this store and sharing your knowledge could help some of our other stores that are struggling.”
Realizing that he was suggesting a possible future path for her to follow, she said, “Traveling would keep my mind busy and give me something new to focus on.” She also thought that it would be a perfect way to get her out of harm’s way.
John patted her on the shoulder and said, “Don’t worry about it right now. Just go do what you have to and we can talk more when you get back.”
Penny thanked him and headed out of the store. She didn’t want to tell the family, but she knew they would worry if they didn’t see her in her cabin. She broke their no contact rule and sent a text to Susi the night before she left that said, “Flying out of town in the morning for work. Gone until weekend. No need to watch cabin. I will text you once back.” After she put away her phone, guilt set in. She hated to lie to her and promised that if the craziness ever ended, she would tell them all the truth.
The morning of her trip, Penny had her hiking gear stowed in her car before the sun was up. Even though the purpose of her journey was somber, she couldn’t stop the adrenalin rush she always got before heading out into the woods she loved. The drive up into the mountain was quiet and she enjoyed watching the sky change colors as the sun peeked out over the horizon. Once she was parked and her backpack strapped on, she breathed in the scent of pine and a feeling of calm washed over her. Her mother’s birthday was now in two days so that gave her plenty of time to take a leisurely hike to the target camp site.
She looked up the mountain side and whispered to the blue bag holding her family, “Time for our last journey together. Soon you’ll find rest.” She turned off her phone and, with a gentle smile, took her first steps.
The afternoon before the birthday, as Sam’s family prepared for their typical evening out, they all stopped when they felt a presence and a cold chill. They turned to see Jax standing in the doorway. This was his first day home since the scene and everyone held their breath, not knowing if Jax or Ice now stood in front of them.
Ben was the one to let everyone know the answer when he smiled and said, “Nice to see you, Jax.”
Seeing the apprehension in everyone’s eyes, Jax knew exactly what the issue was so he relaxed his stance and said, “Sorry. I’ve had to be the not so pleasant version of me non-stop for days and I’m having a hard time turning if off.”
Hearing Jax’s voice, they all exhaled in relief and Sam asked, “Is anyone with you?”
Jax shook his head and said, “It’s safe; I’m alone.” He looked at an exhausted Susi and Sam and said, “It’s early afternoon. What are you doing up?”
Sam replied, “Susi and I aren’t sleeping well.”
Susi added angrily, “How could we after what we did to Penny?”
Sam pulled a very distraught mate into his embrace and said, “As you can see it’s been especially hard on Susi. She’s been like this since that night. How are things going on your end?”
Jax replied, “Razor has been getting closer to tracking down a possible lead on Logan’s whereabouts, but we haven’t found him yet. I left him in charge so that I could come back here. Tomorrow is Penny’s mother’s birthday and I know this will be exceptionally difficult for her so I had to see how she was doing.”
Susi answered with anger in her words, “None of us would know, would we? We haven’t had any contact with her since that horrible night, unless you want to count a few cryptic texts and us stalking her from the woods just to catch a glimpse of her.”
While Sam continued to console Susi, Jax turned to the twins and said, “You don’t need to watch over Penny’s cabin tonight. I’ll cover it. I need to see her so that I can apologize for everything I put her through.”
Susi corrected him by saying, “What
we
put her through.”
Taylor asked, “What about the plan to stay away from her?”
Jax said, “I guarantee that I can get in and out without being seen. Regardless, I have to talk to her.” They could all see the pain and guilt in his eyes.
Tadd said, “But you can’t see her tonight. She’s out of town for work and won’t be back until the weekend. She promised to send us a text as soon as she gets home.”
Jax replied in disbelief, “Out of town? Her mother’s birthday is tomorrow. There’s no way she would leave now.” Fearing that she was up to something, he pulled out his phone and called her. When she didn’t answer, he called her boss. Although Mr. Thompson told him the planned excuse, there was something in his tone that told Jax that there was more to the story than what he was saying.
Jax looked pointedly at Ben and said, “You and I are going for a ride.”
Sensing the sudden anxiety in Jax, he asked, “Where are we going?”
“To Gone Wild. I need your talents.”
When Ben joined Jax at the door, Taylor and Tadd called, “Wait for us.”
Chad was close at their heels and refused to be left out. They all wanted to see Penny so badly that they ignored the potential danger in their plan and raced out the door. Sam and Susi wanted to go as well, but they couldn’t leave the house until the sun went down.
After they arrived at the store, Jax found Mr. Thompson. Instead of cringing away, Penny’s boss warmly greeted the large man and those beside him. Penny had sung praises for what Jax had done for her on her trip and he knew that Jax had most likely saved her life. Considering Penny almost as a daughter, he would be forever in Jax’s debt.
He said, “Hello Jax. It’s good to see you again. What brings you into the store?”
“Hello Mr. Thompson.”
“Please, call me John.”
Jax nodded and said, “John, I was looking for Penny.”
Surprised by the request since Penny said they weren’t speaking anymore, he asked, “Did you and Penny make up? She told me that you weren’t seeing each other anymore. I do hope that you worked things out and are back together again. She needs family around her right now.”
“We’re working on it, but right now I need to speak to her. You said she was out of town. Where did she go?”
John reluctantly repeated the planned excuse. “She flew to Texas to corporate headquarters. She’s sharing some of the secrets of her success for saving our store.”
Jax turned to Ben and, when he saw him discretely shaking his head, Jax turned back to the manager and said, “Tomorrow is Penny’s mother’s birthday and I know for a fact that she wouldn’t fly off on a trip. We’re worried about her and don’t want her to be alone right now. Do you want to tell me where she really is?”
John stared at the hulking man. No matter what Penny said, he knew how much those in front of him still meant to her, so he said, “I didn’t want her to go alone, but she insisted.”
Tadd asked, “Where is she?”
Seeing his look of concern, John decided to tell them the truth. Not out of fear, but out of a shared affection and concern for Penny. “She went up Mt. Hood to spread the last of her family’s ashes.”
Taylor asked with panic clearly in his eyes, “When did she leave?”
“Yesterday, before daybreak. She didn’t say exactly where she was headed, but I know it’s on the east side of the mountain. She would have left detailed plans with the park rangers. They might be able to help you track her down.”
Jax nodded and, after shaking the Human’s hand, he said, “Don’t worry. There isn’t any place on this planet that she can go where I can’t find her.”
As the group turned to leave, John added, “Please call me when you find her so that I know she’s okay. I’ve been worried sick. She’s been burying herself in her work, trying to hide how miserable she is. She’ll need help to get through this.”
Although he was staring pointedly at Jax as he spoke, Taylor responded, “We’ll find her and take care of her.”
Jax drove his family back to their home to prepare for the trip up the mountain. Susi was beside herself with guilt and worry, refusing to be left behind. The old Ice would’ve insisted on going on the trip alone, so they were thrilled that he asked the entire family to come along. This was yet another sign that Jax had fundamentally changed.
Just as the sun set, they threw a few supplies into the Rover. They were all so focused on Penny, they didn’t sense the presence staring at them from deep in the woods.
Although Thorne had told Logan that Penny was no longer a part of Ice’s life, Logan didn’t believe him and decided he had to see it for himself. He hid high in the mountains and sent Hawk, a trusted follower, to take a closer look at what was going on at Sam’s. He chose him because of his ability to sit like a large bird in a tree for hours and, with exceptional hearing and eyesight, he was the perfect choice to stake out Sam’s house without being seen.
From his perch Hawk heard the twins mention that they were heading up the mountain to find Penny and he called Logan with the news. Logan assumed that Ice’s return to the cause was all a lie and he was about to prove it. After Hawk shared the identity of the road Jax planned to drive up, Logan told Hawk to hike further up the mountain and wait for instructions. Logan then raced to the target location, hoping to cross paths with Penny’s rescue team.
Jax flew down the road and everyone hung on tightly. No one complained, except Susi who kept insisting that he drive faster. Once they ran out of drivable road, Jax parked and everyone piled out.
Ben looked at the vast woods that lay ahead of them and said, “This is one big mountain and Penny’s been hiking for almost two days. She could be anywhere. How will we find her? We should’ve called the rangers.”
Jax closed his eyes and reached out his senses in an attempt to find his prey. He wasn’t sure it was going to work since she was most likely many miles away, but when he sensed a familiar presence in the distance, he smiled and said, “Leave it to me. Just try to keep up.”