Jacinda's Challenge (Imperial 3) (36 page)

"Do you want to tell me what you thought you were doing?" he demanded, the moment the doors to their wing closed, pulling her around so she faced him.

Jacinda had remained silent as Jotham led her back to their chambers, still trying to understand the change in Cassandra's demeanor. There was no way she could have faked that, the Queen had been devastated. Jotham's words had her giving him a hard look.

"What are you talking about?"

"You left the Palace without informing anyone and without the proper security!" The fear that had gripped his heart when he'd first discovered her gone returned. He couldn't, wouldn't lose her.

"We had security, Jotham. We had two guards with us."

"
Palace
guards, not
Royal
guards!"

"And your point?" she asked raising her eyebrow at him.

"Do not play dumb with me, Jacinda! You know Royal Guards have a more specialized training in defense and security!"

"Of course I do! My daughter is training to become one, but that doesn't mean that
I
need one to go visit my sister!"

"You are
here
! You are with
me
!
That
means you need them!"

"Jotham..." She put a hand on his cheek hoping it would calm him. "No one
knows
I'm here, let alone with
you
. I was never at risk and neither was Cyndy."

"But you
could
have been!"

"Jotham..."

"I will not lose you, Jacinda! I won't! I won't survive it again!" His mouth crushed hers as he lifted her off her feet.

Jacinda wrapped her arms around Jotham's neck, sinking into the kiss, letting him control it, somehow knowing he needed to. He needed to make sure she was with him, safe, whole, and alive.

Breaking off the kiss, Jotham buried his face in the curve of her neck, his arms tightening around her.

"Ancestors," he whispered against her skin. "Don't ever do that to me again, Jacinda. My heart can't take it." Lifting his head to meet her gaze, he let her see the truth in his eyes. "Promise me that from now on you will take guards with you.
My
guards! Guards that understand how vital you are to me."

"Jotham, I'm here." She kissed his lips. "I'm safe." She kissed him again. "I will do nothing to put myself in danger. I promise."

"Promise you will always take Royal Guards with you," he demanded stubbornly.

A knock on the door stopped Jacinda from responding. Slowly, Jotham returned her to her feet then turned to open the door.

Turning away from Jotham, Jacinda took a deep breath and lifted a shaky hand to make sure her hair was still presentable. It had been a morning filled with a great deal of drama and she needed a moment to catch her breath.

Turning, she found Cassandra walking through the door, William at her side and knew she wasn't going to get it. Straightening her shoulders, she prepared herself for whatever was to come next.

Cassandra watched Jacinda's shoulders stiffen, as if she were bracing herself for an attack, and knew that was her fault. Her attitude at first meal had created this situation, and while Jacinda would probably never believe it, she
did
put her family before everything else, and that included her pride.

"I know I have no right to ask this of you, not after the way I've treated you, but could we sit down and talk? About Cyndy..."

Shock kept Jacinda silent, but Cassandra took it as a refusal.

"Please," Cassandra pleaded.

"Cassandra..." William took a step toward her.

"No, Majesty," Jacinda took a step toward Cassandra, then stopped realizing she'd been misunderstood when Jotham gave her a shocked look and shook her head. "What I meant was yes, please sit." Jacinda gestured to one of the couches. "I will tell you whatever you want to know if it helps Cyndy."

All four of them sat, William and Cassandra on one couch, Jacinda and Jotham across from them on the other, the lines of support clearly drawn.

"Your sister-in-law is an amazing woman, Majesty," Jacinda began.

"I know that. I've always known that, and please call me Cassandra."

"Why now?" Jacinda asked.

"Because, although you couldn't prove it by my actions today, I'm not normally such a b’osh." She gave Jacinda a smile that held no humor. "I normally give a person a chance. I know what it’s like to be judged unfairly, without even having said a word. But with you..."

"But I arrived on the arm of someone you consider a close friend, family even, and you protect your family."

"How can you possibly know that?"

"Because Cyndy told me. She told me what your father did... after your mother's death."

"She told you about that?" Jacinda watched Cassandra reach out and grab William's hand, her knuckles turning white.

"Yes, while we were in the Memory Garden. She told me a lot of things."

"Please, will you tell me what she said?" Tears filled Cassandra's eyes. "Cyndy has always been like an older sister to me. She's the one that got me and Dad talking again. She was the only one that could pull me away from my studies. She was the one that encouraged me to go out and do field work," Cassandra reached out to rub William's ring. "I owe her so much... "

"She sees herself as insignificant in our world," Jacinda told her bluntly.

"What?!!" Three sets of eyes looked at her in shock, even William’s. While he had realized Cyndy was struggling, he hadn’t realized it was with anything like this.

"That was my reaction too, but she feels that everything that made her who she was on Earth is gone here."

"But I don't understand
why,
" Cassandra began.

"That's because you are more comfortable with knowledge than with people."

"Cyndy told you that," Cassandra didn't make it a question.

"Yes. She was trying to explain why you treated me the way you did." Jacinda just shrugged. " But Cyndy isn't like you, Cassandra, she's an artist."

"How did you know that?"

"Because I heard her sing."

"Cyndy
sang
for you?
Today
?!!" Cassandra whispered.

"At Palma's, and I have to tell you it was the most amazing thing I've ever heard."

"She was famous back on Earth," Cassandra told them quietly. "She traveled the world and performed for thousands upon thousands of people."

"And she gave it all up when she had Victoria."

"Yes, I know she planned on going back..."

"But Victoria needed her after the Regulians took her."

"Victoria was so traumatized that it took all of us to get her back. But Cyndy was the most important one. She would sing to her when the nightmares came. Sometimes all night long."

"She was her child and her child needed her. Her
family
needed her."

"Yes."

"Now they don't."

"What?"

"Victoria doesn't need her. Bret doesn't need her. Peter doesn't need her. She gave everything she was to take care of her family and now they don't need her. Not here. Not like before. Is it any wonder she's feeling lost?"

"I never considered that... why didn't I ever consider that?" Cassandra's eyes turned to William full of self-condemnation.

"It isn't your fault, Cassandra." William turned her so she was facing him. "None of us realized what she was feeling. We were too worried about getting her here and getting her well."

"There's more that she's feeling," Jacinda told them quietly.

"What else could there possibly be?" William asked.

"Guilt."

"Guilt? What could Cyndy possibly feel guilty about?" William demanded, but Jacinda just silently looked at Cassandra. She could see the thoughts flying through her eyes until understanding suddenly flared in them.

"Oh my God!" Cassandra whispered. "Poor Cyndy."

"Cassandra, what are you talking about?"

"The bunker, Dad's bunker. He personally stocked it, but only for four."

"Four?" Jotham frowned at Cassandra. "That can't be right."

"It is because he meant it for his family, never himself. I always knew that. Four people. Four years." Tears began to run down Cassandra's face as she looked at Jotham. "They were sealed in there for nearly nine. If Victoria and I had been in there..."

"You would have all died." Jacinda finished for her. "It nearly destroyed Cyndy when Peter sealed that door. You were out there. Her baby was out there. But then as time went by..."

"She was grateful because it meant Brett and Peter had a chance to live." This time Cassandra finished the sentence. "It's how I would have felt if Peter and Cyndy had been outside and I was sealed in with William and our children." She looked to her life mate. "It would have eaten at my soul, but it's how I would have felt."

"It's eating at Cyndy's."

"How can I ever fix this?" Cassandra whispered.

"You can't, only Cyndy can, but you can help her," Jacinda told her.

"How?"

"By letting her sing." Jacinda turned to look at Jotham. "You should have heard her today, Jotham. It was as if when she opened her mouth the universe sang." She turned her gaze back to Cassandra. "She needs to sing, Cassandra, it's as much a part of her soul as her family is."

"Then she sings." Cassandra wiped the tears from her cheeks, straightened her shoulders and started to rise. Then she looked at Jacinda and slowly sank back down finding herself at a loss. "I don't know where to start."

"I'd say that's why the ancestors brought me here." Jacinda immediately replied. "Because I know
exactly
where to start."

"I thought
I
brought you here." Jotham wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close as he kissed her cheek. He had never been prouder of her than he was at this moment.

Jacinda just raised an eyebrow at him then looked at Cassandra. "What is it about you Royals? You always think everything is about
you
." Her lips began to smirk. "It's a good thing he's cute or I might have to rethink this whole thing."

"Hey!" Jotham leaned away pretending to be upset while William and Cassandra laughed.

"I don't think I've ever seen anyone put you in your place so nicely, Jotham." Cassandra looked at Jacinda with a new appreciation in her eye. "So tell me where we start."

"Well first, we find a Pianola and get it moved into Cyndy's quarters. You've got to have one
somewhere
in the Palace."

"I... William?" Cassandra looked to William and for the first time, Jacinda truly saw the bond between them, the connection. They truly loved each other and relied on each other.

"There are several, all in the Public Wing, which is why Cyndy's never had access to one. I'll get one moved."

"No. I will." Cassandra interrupted him. "It's not the job of the High Admiral to have furniture moved around the Palace."

When William went to open his mouth to argue, Jacinda interrupted.

"Excuse me, but I'm sure Javiera could see to that for you."

"Yes, that's right, Javiera. What next?" Cassandra demanded.

"Well, the next step I think is up to you." Jacinda looked to Cassandra. "You know Cyndy better than I do, but I think she can be very stubborn."

"That is totally true."

"So I'm not sure if Director Metaxas should come here or if she should go to him."

"Director Metaxas? My Director of the Arts?"

"Yes, Birgin is my brother-in-law, my sister Palma's husband, and after hearing Cyndy sing today, Palma was immediately on the comm to him. He will tell her honestly if there is a place for her music here on Carina."

"Of course there is!" Cassandra's tone had turned all Royal at the possibility that it wasn't.

"Cassandra," William put a soothing hand on Cassandra's arm. "You can't decree people to like Cyndy's music. She needs to know she's hearing the cold, hard truth."

Cassandra sighed heavily but nodded her head. "You're right, but I just want to make it right for her."

"You can't, as much as you want to, my love, you just can't. You can only support her. The way you do all of us." William squeezed her arm.

"Again you're right."

"Is that two or three times now I've heard your wife admit she's wrong?" Jotham teased. "I think we may need to mark that in the record books."

"Shut up, Jotham." Cassandra shot back and Jacinda found herself laughing.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Jacinda woke as the bed slightly dipped. Opening her eyes, she found Jotham's violet ones staring back at her.

"You're back," she said huskily reaching up to caress his cheek. He and William had left when another call had come in from the Guardian and Cassandra left shortly after to attend to her duties.

After making sure everything had been unpacked correctly, Jacinda had laid down on the bed for a short nap. Apparently, it had gone longer then she had planned.

"I am," Jotham told her kissing her lips.

"You need to rest." She could see the fatigue in his eyes. "Come. Rest with me."

"I can think of other things I'd like to do." Even as he spoke, he settled deeper into the bed.

"And we will. After we rest." Jacinda reassured him.

Wrapping up in each other’s arms, Jotham laid his head against her chest and let out a tired sigh. "Just for a little while."

"Rest, Jotham." She gently ran her fingers through his thick, black hair as she felt him relax into sleep. As she did, she noticed the first strands of gray starting to make their appearance and smiled slightly. Jotham would look even more distinguished with gray at his temples.

She thought back to his words from before Cassandra and William had arrived, about his concern for her security. She understood his concern, especially after the way Lata died and her accident, but she was nothing like Lata. She never intentionally put herself at risk and she wasn't a member of the Royal family. There was not a reason for her to have Royal guards. Now how was she going to get Jotham to understand that?

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Jacinda tipped her head back, letting the water flow through her hair, rinsing away the cleanser she'd rubbed into it. She carefully slid out of the bed without waking Jotham when she woke again. She knew they needed to leave soon to have last meal with William and Cassandra, but she wanted him to get as much sleep as he could.