Jacinda's Challenge (Imperial 3) (34 page)

"I can't even imagine..." Jacinda felt her throat close up and couldn't speak at the thought of what this small woman had gone through.

"What does it say about me, that I never once thought about Cassandra or Jacob?" Pain-filled eyes turned to Jacinda. "All I cared about was Victoria."

Jacinda found she could no longer stand and sat down next to Cyndy, taking her hand. "It says you are a loving mother. Victoria was your priority, as she should have been."

"I think I went crazy for a while. Peter just held me and cried, begging me not to give up."

"He was protecting what he had left. The woman he loved and his child yet to be born."

"None of us would have survived if any of them had made it to the bunker."

Jacinda had to strain to hear the words Cyndy was whispering like a deep dark confession.

"What?"

"The bunker was only stocked with four years of food." Cyndy's eyes were flat as they looked at her. "Without the others there, Peter was able to stretch it to nearly nine."

"Four years...." Jacinda knew she meant cycles.

"Yeah. Four years for four people."

"But there were five people in your family then, Cyndy. You, Peter, Victoria, Cassandra and Jacob."

"Jacob never planned on getting into that bunker." Her eyes turned to the stone. "It took me a while to realize that."

"What do you mean?"

"Jacob was deeply in love with Peter and Cassie's mom. She was killed in a car accident when Cassie was nine and Peter eighteen. It devastated him. He couldn't even look at Cassie because she looked so much like Cassidy. He finally had to send her away... to boarding school."

"Boarding school?"

"I don't know if you have them here. The closest thing I've heard to them is your Academy."

"At nine cycles?" Jacinda couldn't believe it. Carinian children didn't enter the Academy until they were fourteen cycles, and even then Jacinda had thought it too young when her own children went.

"Yes. It really hurt Cassie, made her pull away from people to books. Knowledge, she used to say, never left you."

Both women were silent for a moment, then Cyndy suddenly stood and walked to the stone.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you about all that. No one wants to hear something like that, especially a stranger."

"Cyndy..." Jacinda slowly walked to the small woman. "Have you talked to
anyone
about this?"

"They all already know about it, so why talk about it?"

"I'm not talking about the actual events. I'm talking about the guilt you feel."

"Guilt?" Cyndy turned confused eyes to her.

"Yes, guilt, about being grateful that the other three
didn't
make it to the bunker," Jacinda said quietly.

"That's not true!" Cyndy nearly shouted at her. "I'm not
grateful
! That would make me..."

"Human," Jacinda finished before Cyndy could. "Your
son
is alive because they
didn't
make it. Your
husband
is alive because they
didn't
make it.
You
are alive because of it. It makes you
human
."

"It makes me a
monster
, a horrible person."

"No, it doesn't."

"Cassie, Tori and Jacob they all died..."

"But they didn't die," Jacinda broke in, "not all of them."

"I didn't know that then."

"But you do now. Cyndy, I can't begin to imagine what you went through. Believing you'd lost nearly your entire family. Being sealed in that bunker and having to deliver a baby, not knowing if it was the only world he'd ever know. As parents, we always want the best for our children and try to give it to them. I'm sure you did what you could."

"I did. It wasn't much, but..."

"And from what I've seen of him, he isn't suffering any lasting effects from that time. He's growing, playing, interacting with his cousins."

"He is, he still needs to build up his strength and catch up on his schooling, but I've never seen him smile so much."

"And Peter, he's back doing what he loves."

"Yes."

"And now you know that Cassandra and Victoria are fine too. Your daughter is beautiful, wed to her life mate, and has a career that she loves."

"Yes."

"And Cassandra the Queen, wed to one of the finest men I've ever met, with a family of her own."

"Yes."

"You also know that Jacob," Jacinda looked at the stone, "never intended on getting into that bunker."

"No, he didn't."

"Then let go of the guilt. As terrible as it all was, it was the only way it could have happened for you all to survive. And while I never had the privilege of meeting Jacob Chamberlain, I do believe he would want you to forgive yourself."

"He would," Cyndy whispered.

"Then
do
it. Only you can. You have so much of your life left to live, Cyndy." Jacinda paused, then asked the question she rarely would. "How old are you anyway? I know Victoria is eighteen, but you don't look a day over thirty."

Cyndy just looked at Jacinda, stunned for a moment, then started to laugh... and laugh... and laugh until tears were streaming down her face and she had to wrap her arms around her stomach because it hurt so much.

"I'm thirty-nine," she finally got out.

"Seriously?" Jacinda's eyes narrowed. "I think I hate you."

"Really?" Cyndy asked wiping away her tears. "Why? I've honestly never seen a woman as beautiful as you. When you and Jotham walked in this morning, you stole my breath. The two of you together... my God, you looked perfect together."

"I... thank you. It's still new and we're trying to find our way."

"Aren't we all?"

The statement was revealing to Jacinda. "Cyndy, I'd like to ask you a question if you don't mind, but I don't want to insult you."

"Ask."

"What did you do back on your planet? Were you just a wife and mother or did you do something else? I don't mean that as an insult because it's basically what I am."

"It didn't sound that way around the table," Cyndy told her moving to sit back down on the bench. "It sounds to me like you were instrumental in making sure the Royals were safe when they were out with the Fleet."

"No one is ever 'safe' when they are out in the Fleet."

"But you did what you could, and that means my nephews are safer because of it, so thank you."

Jacinda blushed at the compliment. "So what about you? Tell me about Cyndy Chamberlain."

"Cyndy Chamberlain..." Cyndy leaned back, putting her arms on the back edge of the bench to support her weight as she closed her eyes, then tipped her head back to absorb the warmth of the Carinian suns. It was something she'd never get enough of. "Well, I started out life as Cyndy Griffin, a small town girl with a big dream."

"What was your dream?"

"To sing. To sing so beautifully that the whole world stopped and listened." She chuckled at the unrealistic dream. "I was so young when I dreamed that."

"How old were you?"

"Five."

"
Five!
" Jacinda couldn't believe it. At five, all she knew she wanted was another cookie.

"Hmmm, all I ever did was sing, from the moment I woke up to the time I went to bed. It drove my parents crazy so they finally hired a teacher, hoping that being forced to sing would make me not want to. They were wrong. It just made me sing more. By the time I was ten I was winning competitions and by twelve I had a record deal."

"Record deal?"

"It was something on Earth that allowed me to make music and get paid for it."

"At twelve?"

"Hmmm, I was considered an amazing new star. I started touring, going out to sing in front of large groups of people and making lots of money... credits. It pretty much destroyed my family."

"I don't understand? You and Peter?"

"Not that family, my parents." Cyndy sighed heavily. "You see back on Earth, a person wasn't considered an 'adult' capable of making their own decisions until they were eighteen."

"It’s similar here although there are exceptions."

"There were on Earth too and at sixteen I discovered that my parents, who were in charge of my finances, were spending every penny I made. There should have been millions set aside for me and there wasn't. So I went to court and became what was called an emancipated minor, meaning I was considered an adult and could control my life and finances. My parents never talked to me again, unless they needed money."

"I'm sorry."

"So am I, but it’s the way it was. So anyway, I continued to tour. Then I did a concert for the troops, the military like your coalition, and I met Peter."

"How old were you?"

"Just turned twenty. He just stood there, beside the stage and watched me. He didn't sing along or hoot and scream. He just watched me like I was the only person in the room. I was used to people, especially guys,
trying
to make me feel special, but he
did
."

"You loved him."

"From the moment I saw him, but we came from such different worlds. I was always travelling and he had to stay at his base. If I could come visit, he would suddenly have to leave on a mission. It just wasn't going to work."

"But it did."

"Yeah, but not until after a lot of heartache and soul searching. When I got pregnant with Tori, I stopped touring. It was only supposed to be for a couple years, but then the Regulians took her, and she was so traumatized.... She was getting better and I was just starting to consider going back when they returned."

"The Regulians?"

"Yes, and the rest you know."

"You've had an amazing life, Cyndy."

"I guess that's one word for it."

"What word would you use?"

"Insignificant."

"What?!!" Jacinda couldn't hide her shock. "How can you say that? You've got two beautiful children, a husband that obviously adores you, and you survived the Regulians not once, but twice! How can you say it's been insignificant?"

"Because I have nothing to contribute here."

"I..."

"My daughter is full grown and happy, she doesn't need me. My son is growing and learning about things I know nothing about, and I can't help him. My husband... well he's back doing what he's always excelled at, training and protecting. They've all found their place here and then there's me... sitting in a Memory Garden staring at a stone."

"Then find your place."

"How? It's not like I have any skills that are needed here."

"You can still sing, can't you?"

"Well, yeah... not as well as I used to, the dust... but I'm sure no one on Carina would want to hear it."

"Come on," Jacinda stood and held out her hand. After a moment’s hesitation, Cyndy took it.

"Where are we going?"

"I happen to know someone that would know if anyone
would
want to 'hear' it."

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Palma stood dumbfounded in the doorway. She'd had no idea who could be at her front door at this time of the day, but it definitely hadn't been her sister and the Queen's sister-in-law, she was the image of her daughter, Victoria.

"Are you going to let us in, Palma, or just stand there?" Jacinda asked.

"I... what... Oh, sorry. Of course. Please, come in." Stepping back, she allowed them in then led them into her living room. "Please. Sit."

"Palma, this is Cyndy Chamberlain. Queen Cassandra's sister-in-law."

"An honor to meet you, Princess Cyndy," Palma curtsied slightly.

"Uh, what? I'm not a princess," Cyndy instantly denied.

"Umm, Cyndy," Jacinda spoke up. "Actually you are. Your husband is the Queen's brother, which means, had they grown up on Carina their mother would have been the Queen, making Peter a Prince and you as his wife, a Princess.

"Well shit," Cyndy spit out, making Jacinda smile.

"Cyndy, this is my sister, Palma Metaxas."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Cyndy replied. Getting over the shock that she had a title, she let her eyes travel from Palma around the room, stopping on what looked like a piano.

"Would you like something to drink? Coffee maybe?" Palma asked.

Jacinda watched Cyndy closely and immediately noticed how she seemed to still when she saw the Pianola tucked into the corner of the room and hid her smile.

"Why don't I help you make some coffee." Jacinda rose from the couch. "I brought you some of Pittaluga's special blend."

"You did!" Palma asked excitedly.

"Yes, and Cyndy has never had it before. Cyndy, we'll just be a few minutes. Make yourself at home." Jacinda told her even though it was her sister's house, taking Palma's arm she led her away.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

"Jacinda, what in the name of the ancestors is going on?" Palma demanded as soon as they were out of earshot. "You show up here without even calling..."

"Can't I come visit my sister if I want?" Jacinda asked, trying not to smile.

"Of course you can! You know that! Stop trying to change the subject. You show up and you bring with you the Queen's newly arrived sister-in-law. The one it's being whispered about that is on her deathbed. The one no one has been allowed to see. You bring her
here?
With no Royal Guards?"

"Really? She hasn't been allowed to meet
anyone
?" Jacinda frowned at the 'royal guards' part.

"Only trusted Palace staff, like Javiera, and you know how tight-lipped they can be."

"Yes."

"So how did you sneak her out of the Palace? No, the better question is what were you doing at the Palace?"

"What I'm doing there can wait for another time." Jacinda held up a finger silencing her sister. "Seriously, I'll tell you, but what matters right now is Cyndy."

"Why? What's wrong with her?"

"
Nothing
is
wrong
with her, she's just struggling with all the changes she's had to face. Palma," Jacinda looked her sister straight in the eye. "I have
never
met a more amazing woman. What she's survived... the life she had on Earth... I want her to have just as an amazing life here, and I need you to help me with that."