Into the Shadows (21 page)

“Let’s just go home,” Paivi muttered through
clenched teeth.

Paivi resigned herself to wear an old dress. What
else could she do? On Monday at school she even thought about
telling Jason that she wanted to skip the dance, but she didn’t
want to hurt his and Michaela’s feelings after all the effort they
made to make sure she could go in the first place.

That night after dinner, Paivi was sitting in the
family room with Mr. Anderson and Torsten. The Chicago Bulls were
playing Boston. Despite the exciting game, they were all rather
subdued. The doorbell rang and Mrs. Anderson called from the living
room where she was cleaning.

“I’ll get it!”

Paivi could hear a flurry of activity from the front
door.

“Hi Mrs. Anderson!” Paivi heard Michaela’s loud
voice drifting down the hallway. “You remember Jason. He’s taking
Paivi to the dance, you know!”

What were they doing here on a Monday night? she
wondered to herself.

She decided to see what all the commotion was about.
Paivi entered the living room and couldn’t believe her eyes.
Michaela was laying out ten very different formal dresses that she
had pulled out of a large garment bag. Some were long and some
short. Some were full of sparkles and some were made of soft
velvet. Jason saw Paivi and smiled, and Michaela wheeled
around.

“Well, you couldn’t go to the dress shop, so we
brought the dress shop to you!” Michaela clapped her hands in
excitement.

“I can’t believe it!” Paivi stammered. “How did you
manage this?”

“Jason’s sister is friends with the girl whose mom
owns Destiny’s Bridal. Anyways, she told them what happened on our
shopping trip yesterday. They were upset because they have to
enforce the same policy and they don’t agree with it. So they let
us take a bunch of different dresses in your size for you to try.
We just have to drop off whatever you don’t pick tomorrow.”

Paivi ran over to Michaela and threw her arms around
her, hugging her tight.

“You are the best!” she said, trying to push down
the lump in her throat.

“Oh my god, you’re squeezing me to death!”
Michaela’s voice was muffled by Paivi’s shoulder. “It wasn’t just
me. Jason helped too. We had to pick out some dresses we thought
you would like. We made a bet on whose dress you’re going to
pick!”

“Michaela’s choices have no chance,” laughed
Jason.

Paivi walked over to him, blushing and giving him an
awkward hug.

“Thank you so much,” she whispered.

“If you are taking Paivi to the dance, you can’t see
the dresses on her now! I’ll take you into the family room, you can
watch the game with the boys.” Their voices faded as Mrs. Anderson
led Jason down the hall to the family room. “Would you like
something to drink?”

After two hours of trying every dress on multiple
times, they had chosen THE dress. She didn’t want to take it off.
It was long and light green and accented her eyes. She loved how it
sparkled and could picture how it would look in the lights on the
dance floor.

Friday was the last day of school before Winter
Break and the day before the Winter Wonderland dance. It was quite
festive as most of the students were celebrating the holidays. The
hallways were full of red and green and brightly wrapped gifts and
candy canes were passed around. Paivi, short on cash and barred
from all stores but the supermarket, had nothing to give. Not that
she had many friends left. Michaela, Jason, Aimee, Christian. A
short list. She spent the evening before creating Christmas cards
out of paper, ribbons and her very own artwork so she wouldn’t be
empty-handed. She still felt like it wasn’t enough.

Michaela, Jason, and Aimee reacted generously to the
cards. Aimee and Michaela gave Paivi small gifts, which she thanked
them for. Secretly, she was happier with the fact that she still
had a few friends to receive gifts from. To her, their friendship
was more important than anything they could give her.

Christian was not as excited about Paivi’s card,
which she delivered to him at lunch.

“Gee, thanks.” His voice was monotone. “Let me give
you…oh wait, I can’t go buy you anything.”

He looked annoyed.

“Ah, don’t be such a Grinch,” Paivi chuckled.

“You tell me Paivi, just what is there to be excited
about? Christmas? Um, no. None of us can go to any stores, so there
won’t be any presents this year. And as for Winter Break, it’s even
worse. It’s cold and we aren’t allowed into…well, anything! No
movies, no restaurants, no bowling. So it’s going to be like being
grounded for two whole weeks. Frankly, I’d rather just be at
school, even if it means seeing my favorite ATC agents.”

He was out of breath after his tirade.

Paivi sighed, throwing her arm around his shoulder
and giving it a squeeze. Boy, how things had changed in the few
months since she had met Christian. She used to hate him, and now
she just felt sorry for him. He was a sad remnant of the Christian
Nelson who had ruled the school. His entourage hadn’t stuck around
after the list came out, and aside from Paivi, he had no one.

“Don’t worry, we’ll think of something to do. We can
all hang out, watch a movie at my house or something. I’ll call
you. And at least there’s the dance tomorrow. Are you going?”

“No.” Christian stood up as the bell rang. “And
neither should you.”

He stomped angrily out the door.

After school Paivi came home to an empty house. She
was confused. Both of her parents’ cars were in the driveway, but
neither of their badges were on the monitor. She tried not to read
too much into it and decided to occupy herself by painting her
nails a deep shade of red for the dance.

Torsten arrived home not long after Paivi.

“I don’t remember them saying anything about going
out,” he said as he joined her in the family room, flipping on the
television. “God, that stuff stinks. I don’t know why you girls
have to do paint your fingernails anyways.”

They began feeling restless as the clock hands crept
closer to five. Paivi repeatedly walked to the foyer and looked out
the front window, checking for any sign of her parents. Torsten’s
eyes flicked back and forth from the clock to the EOS badge monitor
as if waiting for it to react to the fact that it was still missing
two badges.

The clock struck five. The monitor remained
silent.

“Paivi,” Torsten whined nervously. “It’s after
curfew. Where are they? What should we do?”

Paivi wanted to cry; she could feel the lump growing
in her throat. She sat down next to Torsten and put her arm around
him, hugging him. He was her little brother and she needed to act
like the big sister.

“I’m going to give Mrs. Cardinelli a call. Maybe she
talked to them.”

She picked up after one ring.

“Hi, it’s Paivi.”

“Oh, hi dear, how are you?”

“I’m okay Mrs. C. Um, I was wondering if you might
know where my parents are?”

She bit her lip, hoping for an explanation.

“What?” Mrs. Cardinelli’s voice sounded alarmed.
“It’s after five. You mean they aren’t there?”

“No, the cars are here, but the house was empty and
there was no note or anything. I thought maybe you had talked to
them?” Paivi’s knees felt weak.

“Well, I spoke to your Mom earlier, they had sent
her home from work. But then I left to run some errands and I just
got home. Look, why don’t I come over, I don’t want you kids
sitting there alone.”

“Oh, Mrs. C., you don’t have to do that.” Paivi
didn’t want to impose, although secretly she hoped Mrs. Cardinelli
would come.

“Are you sure, sweetie?” she asked.

“Well, maybe later, if they still aren’t here. I
just don’t want to ruin your night.”

“Oh, nonsense! Let’s do this, I’ll give the kids
dinner and then get them off to bed. If they still aren’t home by
nine, I’ll come over and stay with you until they show up. I’m not
leaving you poor kids alone overnight. And Mr. C. will hang out
here, just in case they call. Be sure to call me if they come home,
otherwise, see you at nine.”

“Okay, Mrs. C. Thank you so much.”

Paivi hung up and went to sit on the couch. She was
there only a few minutes before she jumped up and wandered around
aimlessly. She couldn’t sit still. On she paced, along with a
nervous Torsten, watching the crawling hands of the clock.

At last it was nine o’clock. The doorbell rang and
Paivi ran to open it, thrilled to see Mrs. Cardinelli, but feeling
a bit sicker inside because it wasn’t her parents.

Mrs. Cardinelli held out her arms towards Paivi and
she gladly accepted the hug. The Andersons had known the
Cardinellis for many years; Paivi didn’t remember a time when they
weren’t a part of her life. Mrs. Cardinelli was the next best thing
to having her own mother there. She tried for a while to take their
minds off their parents, asking them questions about school and
friends. The hours continued to tick by and they eventually ran out
of conversation. Paivi returned to her aimless pacing, looking out
the windows. She walked through rooms turning on just about every
light in the house, chasing the shadows out of the corners.

Just before one o’clock in the morning, Paivi
finally tired of her routine. She dragged herself down the hall and
back into the family room, where Torsten and Mrs. Cardinelli were
dozing on the couch. Just as she sank into the chair, she heard the
click of the latch on the front door.

“Someone’s here!” Paivi shouted to the drowsy pair
on the couch as she raced down the hallway.

Mr. and Mrs. Anderson were coming slowly through the
front door. Their faces were ashen, their clothes disheveled, and
they had dark circles under their eyes.

“Ohmygodareyouokaywherehaveyoubeen?” The words
tumbled out of Paivi’s mouth like some kind of verbal waterfall.
Paivi threw her arms around them both, tears from all of the
stressful waiting poured down her face in relief. Torsten and Mrs.
Cardinelli were right behind and joined in the giant hug.

Finally, Mrs. Anderson was able to encourage them
all to let go, claiming she couldn’t breathe. They moved as a group
to the kitchen, where they all sat down at the large table. Mr. and
Mrs. Anderson looked exhausted.

“Thank you so much, Vi, for coming to be with the
kids.” Mrs. Anderson patted her friend’s hand across the table.

“Oh, Maria, it’s nothing. I should go — I don’t want
to get in the way.” Mrs. Cardinelli rose from the table.

“You can stay, Violette, you know you’re family
anyways!” Mr. Anderson gestured for her to sit down.

“So, where were you all day?” Torsten was wide-awake
now, sitting on the edge of his chair.

“We were with the ATC, at their offices. We were,”
Mr. Anderson paused, appearing to search for the right word,
“questioned. A lot. And for a long time.”

Mrs. Anderson began to sob into her hands.

“Did they hurt you, Mom?” Torsten jumped out of his
chair, moving to comfort his mother.

Mr. Anderson answered for her.

“Look, we don’t need to relive today’s events. It’s
all over now and we’re home safe.”

“What are we going to do?” Paivi put her hands on
the table. “We should leave. Come on Dad, we have to get out of
here.”

“No,” Mr. Anderson was firm. “If this is what it
takes to prove that we are loyal Americans, then that is what we
will do. Sometimes, Paivi, you have to take a stand for what you
believe is right, even if it is painful. I know we’re innocent.
We’ve never hurt anyone. We are good people and I will be damned if
I am going to run off like some coward. That just makes them think
they were right, that we are some kind of criminals — that we have
something to run from. Hopefully things will get better now that
they know the truth about us.”

Paivi looked down at the table, ashamed. She
couldn’t understand her father’s feelings. Everything in her was
telling her to run. But he wouldn’t listen. What could she do?

Mr. Anderson stood up, trying to force his voice to
sound slightly more cheerful.

“I think it’s been a long day for all of us. I could
sure use a good night’s sleep.”

Everyone rose from the table. Torsten helped Mrs.
Anderson up; she had finally slowed to sniffles.

“Thank you again, Violette, for looking after the
kids. You’re a good friend.”

“I know you would do the same for me,” she
replied.

Mr. and Mrs. Anderson hugged Mrs. Cardinelli and
walked her to the door. Torsten and Paivi waited for their parents,
heading upstairs for a restless night of sleep.

Paivi tossed and turned most of what was left of the
night. Towards dawn she drifted into an exhausted sleep.

Suddenly, she was freezing. All around her she could
feel an icy wind tearing at her clothes, ripping at her skin. She
was barefoot in the snow and was unable to feel her toes.
Snowflakes swirled around her head. She wrapped her arms tightly
around her body, trying to conserve every bit of warmth.

In front of her lay a dark forest, the trees black
in the night. She turned around to find a large body of water,
stretching into infinity just behind her. Dark, cold, and silent.
The sky was dark — there was no moon, no stars overhead.

She knew she would freeze to death if she stayed
there. Her mind was numb, too frozen to think. She placed one foot
forward into the snow. Maybe if she could do it again, move faster,
she could get warmer. So it began, one foot in front of the other,
until she paused to look around. The trees had swallowed her. The
forest was so dark she couldn’t see her hand in front of her face.
She didn’t know where she was supposed to be going, she just knew
she had to keep moving.

One foot in front of the other. Again. Again. Again.
Her whole body felt numb now.

Keep moving, she told herself. It won’t be long.