Human Conditioning (48 page)

It was 6:30am. A Vauxhall Cavalier crawled up the
Wiltshire country road and pulled over at the foot of a narrow country lane
that, Lemmington had been informed, led to the suspected drugs factory
allegedly run by Frankie Adams.

PC Mitchell Wainwright sat
quietly beside Lemmington, surveying the area but allowing Lemmington to take
the lead. He was his senior after all. A docile black Westie dog named Dodger
lay on its belly on the back seat. It was Lemmington’s dog.

“There are several track marks
here, so there’s definitely something down there,” Lemmington announced as he
switched off the engine and they both climbed out of the car.

“What if we’re spotted?” asked
Wainwright.

Lemmington grinned and,
opening the rear door of the car, he scooped up Dodger and placed him on the
floor. He already had a lead attached to his collar. “We’re just two friends
walking our dog.”

“We’ll look like
boyfriends
walking our dog...” Wainwright muttered grumpily, and they headed
cautiously up the lane, Dodger following lazily behind.

************

Lily gasped when she opened her front door to see Robert
Wesley standing on her doorstep, presenting a hangdog smile. His long blond
hair was loose and as scruffy as ever, and he was casually dressed in faded
blue jeans and Converse with a black-and-white striped, long-sleeved top. He
reminded Lily of that good-looking American frontman everyone was so crazy
about these days, Kurt Cobain, but without the exquisite blue eyes – which, for
one obvious reason, she was grateful for. Robert had beautiful chocolate-brown
eyes. Friendly eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“Don’t be mad...” he pleaded
cautiously.

“How did you know where I
lived?”

Robert blushed. “A friend from
the gym gave me your address...” Lily’s eyes narrowed and he quickly went on,
bashfully tucking one side of his blond locks behind his ear, “I would have
liked to have bought you flowers, but I wasn’t sure whether that was
appropriate or not.”

“But you come to my house?”
she scorned.

“I haven’t seen you at the gym
for a while,” he added by way of explanation.

“I’ve been there, on and off,”
she replied. She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re lucky my
old man isn’t in, because he would seriously lose the plot and you might just
find yourself being hauled into the middle of that busy road down there,” she
added, nodding behind him, indicating the main Harpenden road. She finally
stepped aside and gestured for him to enter.

When Robert stepped into the
hall, he whistled through his teeth. “This is a nice place you have here,
Lily.”

“It’s a dungeon,” she
muttered, but it was loud enough for Robert to hear. He frowned, but she
avoided a response by offering him a drink and leading him into the kitchen.
“Red wine?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Take a seat.”

He perched on one of the eight
stools neatly lined beside the breakfast bar. “Where’s little Amy?” he asked as
he assessed his surroundings.

“Upstairs, sleeping.”

 He nodded and added, “This
place must cost a pretty penny.”

“I would have thought so,” she
replied.

“Do you own it?”

“
Aiden
owns it.”

Robert’s lips quivered in
amusement at the irritability in Lily’s tone whenever she spoke of her husband.
It had been clear from the start that she wasn’t content in her relationship
with the elusive Mr Foster, though she had never yet said it outright. “Where
is
Mr Foster today?”

Lily didn’t reply right away.
She approached Robert, placing their drinks on the breakfast bar, and sat
opposite him. “Working, I expect,” she finally answered.

“What does he do?”

She took a sip of her wine.
She had made it plain on the two occasions she had met Robert that the subject
of her husband was not to form any part of their conversations, but she sensed
Robert was attempting to pry again. “It’s a sore subject. I don’t want to talk
about it.”

“Really?” he laughed at the
familiar response.

 “Yes,” she replied sharply,
but she wasn’t bothered. She smirked and took another sip of her wine.

Robert stared at her,
musingly, wondering why on earth she would be so furtive about her husband’s
profession. He wanted to ask her, but instead he asked, “Have you ever worked?”

“Another sore subject...” she
replied, narrowing her eyes.

Robert frowned. “He doesn’t
let you work?”

“No.”

“And you’re obviously not
happy about that?”

Taking a large gulp of her
wine, she replied mordantly, “Let’s just say, I should have chosen a career
over love. That would have pleased me greatly...”

Robert pursed his lips. Lily
was acting quite differently today. On the two other occasions she had graced
him with her presence, she had been shy and timorous. Now she seemed cold and
resentful, and her attitude didn’t sit right with him at all. Lily was too
beautiful and intelligent to be so bitter. A long silence fell between them
before Robert announced, “If you were mine, I’d spend every woken minute trying
to please you, Mrs Foster.” He leant over the breakfast bar and placed his hand
over hers.

She instantly pulled her hand away
and, on a sigh of exasperation, she snapped, “Don’t say things like that to me,
Robert. I’m married...”

He pursed his lips once more.
“I see... so, what
can
we talk about?” he replied cautiously, placing
his errant hand on his knee.

Lily closed her eyes. When she
reopened them, she smiled timidly and said, “Let’s talk about you for a while.”

He asked, “What do you want to
know about me that I haven’t told you already?”

Lily inhaled a deep breath and
when she exhaled, her whole body relaxed. She placed her cheeks between her
palms, leaning on the breakfast bar with her elbows, and stared intently into
Robert’s brown eyes. “We never got round to talking about what
you
do
for a living...”

He grinned and ran a hand
through his long blond hair. “I teach history at the University of
Bedfordshire.”

Her eyes twinkled with
approval. “Really?”

“You approve?”

She nodded. “I did A-levels
and a HNC in history!”

Robert beamed with triumph.
“So, that’s three things we have in common!”

“Three?” she laughed cheerily.

Robert held up his hands and
counted on his fingers. “We both go to the gym, we both like red wine and we
both study history.”

“
Studied
,” Lily replied
wistfully.

“You could get back into it,”
he suggested, then his eyes lit up as if he’d just come up with the greatest
idea in the world. “You could come to my class! I teach night students!”

She laughed lightly and shook
her head. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea...”

Robert shrugged, but he
couldn’t hide his disappointment. “Well, a man can dream... if you change your
mind, though... you can call me.” He pulled a brown leather wallet out of the
back pocket of his jeans and opened it up. Taking out a business card with the
University of Bedfordshire logo on it, he passed it to her. It had an office and
home
number on it and Lily got the impression that he was giving her his
number under the pretence of his profession.

She took it from him, glancing
shyly up at him. “I’ll think about it,” she replied.

Then silence fell between them
as they both took a sip of their wine. Again, Robert spoke first. “What else do
you want to know?”

Lily twisted her lips in
thought. She already knew that he lived in Luton, and the memory of him telling
her that compelled her to ask, “What is your home like? I mean, do you live in
a flat... house?”

“I have a flat, but it’s no
Harpenden property, that’s for sure. I like to go to the gym there just so I
can pretend I live the high life like the other half.” He gestured around the
room, in awe of the large, elegant space around him.

“I go for the crèche and...”
Lily hesitated then added, “It’s only the high life if you’re happy, Robert.”

“You feel trapped here?” he
asked instantly. He had wanted to ask that question since her comment in the
hallway.

Lily closed her eyes and
puffed a sigh. The conversation had hit a road block once more, and it dawned
on her that it would always be like this. There was just too much she couldn’t
reveal, too many secrets she was forced to keep, too much pain she could not
declare.

She opened her eyes to see him
gazing expectantly at her. She knew he was beseeching her to give him more, to
open up and allow him into her life, but she just couldn’t. It was too
dangerous.
This was all wrong. Robert shouldn’t be in the home she
shared with her husband and their child. She couldn’t allow herself to like him
any more than she already had. She put her head in her hands. “I shouldn’t be
doing this,” she whispered, as if she were telling only herself. She looked up
at Robert, her expression filled with bewilderment. “I’m a married woman... I
have a child... I’m sorry.” She slid off her stool and, with her glass in hand,
stepped over to the sink. Draining the dregs of her wine, she set the glass
down and turned to the man sitting at her breakfast bar. “I can’t risk the
quality of Amy’s life for...” she tailed off.
For what?

Robert stared down at his
glass. “Does he make you happy?” he asked.

Lily sighed and felt compelled
to be honest. She shook her head slowly and lowered her eyes to the floor. “I
don’t know,” she muttered.

He looked up at her. “Do you
love him?” he pressed.

Not meeting his gaze, she
nodded her reply.

“I see,” he said.

Lily slumped back against the
worktop, her head bowed, staring at the floor. It was in that moment that she
realised she wasn’t ready to let go of the life she had. However tragic it was,
she had to see it out to the end. “I shouldn’t have let you in. I’m sorry,” she
whispered.

Robert slid off his stool.
“So, is this it?” he asked regretfully. She gulped and nodded once more. He
took a deep breath. “OK,” he muttered, pulling his car keys from his jeans
pocket. “Will I see you at the gym?” he asked, attempting to hold onto one
shred of hope. Lily shook her head, feeling her throat constrict with the threat
of tears. “Well, I’m sorry for breaking data security and tracking you down
like a stalker,” he added, forcing a joviality he did not feel. Lily chuckled
and a tear fell from one of her eyes. When she looked up at him, he smiled
weakly at her and croaked, “Good luck, Mrs Foster.”

Then he was gone.

Lily heard the click of the
front door and the house fell into an eerie silence. She stood staring at the
glass Robert had left on the breakfast bar, her mind whirling, and for a split
second she felt compelled to go after him, but she forced the urge away. She
felt lost suddenly, as if she had lost someone dear to her, yet, in reality,
Robert Wesley was but a stranger.

“Gina!”

Lily yelled through the
letterbox of Gina’s flat. She could hear her coughing, but Gina wasn’t
acknowledging that she was at her door, or maybe she couldn’t get to the door
to let her in. Lily was frantic with concern. She had to get inside the flat
but she couldn’t ask Ricky again. It would raise too much suspicion.

“Gina, I’m going to get help!”

As she turned away from the
door, a man came out of the flat a few doors down. He was wearing a grey suit
and he was adjusting his tie as he skulked down the walkway. Lily recognised
him, but she couldn’t put her finger on where she had seen him before. “Excuse
me!” The man ignored her at first. It was clear he’d heard her, as he began to
walk faster, away from her, heading for the stairs. “Hey!” Lily yelled, and the
man finally turned to face her.

“What do you want?” he
snapped.

Lily flushed red with fury and
snapped back, “I need you to help me get inside this flat. Unlike the woman you
exploited last night, the woman in here is very sick and is in urgent need of
medical help!”

The man ran a hand through his
receding hair. “Then call a doctor,” he suggested tersely.

Lily gulped down her growing
anger. “Please!” she begged.

The man sighed and his whole
body sagged with it. He headed towards her, his feet scraping across the floor
as if it took every last ounce of his energy and patience to help her. Yet she
sensed in him a sign of obligation to help her. Why else would he have not told
her where to go? It suddenly sparked a trail of thought in Lily’s mind: his
face, his sense of duty...

“You’re the chairman of the
council, here in Hackney. You were at one of the police committee meetings that
my father held!” Lily blurted, her mouth falling into a perfect ‘o’ shape. She
was astounded and equally disgusted.

The chairman stopped dead in
his tracks and stared wide-eyed at her. He shifted on the spot, unsure whether
to run in the opposite direction or admit defeat. But Lily refrained from
saying any more about it. There was nothing more to say. She had caught the
dirty, deceitful bastard out, but she needed a job doing and she sure as hell
wasn’t going to allow him to leave without helping her do it.

“I need you to kick this door
in. I can’t do it alone,” she announced quietly. Her disgust and disapproval
was evident in her expression, but she retained a polite, steady tone. “Your
help now will buy my discretion.”

He watched her warily for a
long moment then nodded in agreement and Lily stepped aside. He stepped up to
the door and, taking a deep breath, he slammed his foot into it once, then
twice. The door rattled on its key lock. It didn’t open, but another three
kicks and Lily was inside.