Hope for Your Heart: Finding Strength in Life's Storms (21 page)

As John Newton learned, hope is the end result of the mercy of God being expressed through the grace of God. God’s mercy—His magnificent and magnanimous mercy—is the springboard from which His amazing grace reaches out to save helpless, hopeless people . . . whoever they are, wherever they are, whatever they have done.

In His mercy He saves us from the death we deserve, and in His grace He gives us what we don’t deserve—eternal life, His Holy Spirit, and rock-solid hope through Jesus Christ. Simply defined, mercy is not getting what we
do
deserve (death) and grace is getting what we
don’t
deserve (eternal life and the hope it brings).

[God] saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. (Titus 3:5–7)

Nothing in our finite world prepares us to fully comprehend the infinite grace of God given to us through the sacrificial death and resurrected life of His Son. His forgiveness applies equally to every sinner and every sin, no matter how grievous, how heinous, how seemingly unforgivable!

If you have put your trust in Jesus Christ, God declares you forgiven and makes His power available to you for a victorious hope-filled life. Period.

We each have to personally accept Jesus Christ—this amazing gift of God’s grace—as the only rightful Savior and Lord of our lives in order to receive and see His transforming power in our lives.

Accepting Jesus as Lord means allowing Him to rule and reign in our lives. It means giving Him authority over our minds to teach us how to think as He thinks, over our wills to direct us how to act as He acts, and over our emotions to cause us to feel as He feels. God does not save us just so we can live with Him someday in heaven, but so that Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, can live
in
us today on earth.

We are not only destined for a future life in a sinless heaven but for a present victorious life in a sinful world. The abundant life Jesus promised us can be ours today! It is there for the taking, but it comes wrapped in the clothes of humility and requires submission to the Spirit of God in our lives.

Submitting to the lordship of Jesus Christ in your life means letting Him live His abundant life through you here and now by allowing His Spirit to make you into the person He created you to be—a person accurately reflecting His character, His attitudes.

Even then you may need to attempt to repair the damage your sins have done to others and to yourself. But Jesus died on the cross for all of our sins to give us life . . . eternal life . . . so that if we will give Him control of our lives, we will be forgiven for
all
of our sins at that very moment.

That’s truly amazing. Sometimes it seems
too
amazing for those of us who feel our sins are unpardonable. It’s important to remember what grace actually is—
unmerited
,
undeserved favor
. It is a gift and simply can’t be earned. For some of us, that flies in the face of justice unless we remember that God meted out justice over two thousand years ago when Jesus shed His blood on a cross.

He died in full payment not only for our sins but also for the sins of the whole world. He did that so that He can now mete out mercy and grace to all who accept His sacrifice and receive the justification of their sins.

Grace is the very essence of our faith. Without it the Christian life makes no sense at all, and we are totally without hope. Grace is a mystery we must simply acknowledge and accept . . . an undeserved blessing that is ours for the taking . . . and sharing.

Because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God. (Eph. 2:4–8)

Too often the amazing truth of God’s grace is overshadowed by the dark clouds of our own guilt. If you’re in that boat, it’s important to know that guilt is not always your enemy . . . nor is it always your friend. Distinguishing good guilt from bad guilt is vitally important.

To do this, first ask: Is your guilt the loving prod of God, used to convict, correct, and conform your character . . . especially when you’ve gone astray? Or do you battle vague feelings of shame, disgrace, and disgust no matter how many times you try to deal with your sin?

You see, true guilt is your friend . . . a godly companion who whispers truth and motivates you to turn and be free. But false guilt is a relentless foe . . . an inner enemy that wounds you with sorrow—worldly sorrow—a superficial sorrow that ends in death!

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. (2 Cor. 7:10)

Here is how to distinguish between the two types of guilt and some guidance for dealing with each:

True guilt
is the result of having committed wrong. This good guilt is designed by God to bring genuine sorrow over your wrong choices—not just sorrow that you got caught—and to convince you to take responsibility for your part in the negative consequences that occur in your own life or in the lives of others.

Like traveling south and then all of a sudden realizing,
I’m heading
the wrong direction
(which I have done), good guilt is actually designed by God to turn you around so you will be all He created you to be and will do all He created you to do.

He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. (Prov. 28:13)

False guilt
is the feeling of unjustified self-condemnation. This bad guilt involves being overly self-judgmental, overly responsible, overly conscientious, or overly sensitive when you have done no wrong or when you have repented and turned away from your wrong. False guilt may be the result of having other people put you on an unjustified guilt trip.

It can also be the impetus for extreme self-denial, demonstrated by overly serving others (being a people pleaser), displaying low self-worth, and having emotional blocks that produce negativity and hopelessness.

When guilt immobilizes you, the following steps will help you discern false guilt, thus allowing your heart to embrace the truth of God, which will free you to embrace the
hope
of God. Jesus not only wants us to be set free, but He also tells us what will set us free: “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).

Discern the truth by honestly asking . . .

• “Do I have true guilt or false guilt?”
  
• “If I have truly repented of my sin, why do I still feel guilty?”
  
• “Why am I struggling with hopelessness?”
  
• “Am I in any way responsible for my lack of hope?”
  
• “Does guilt make my feelings of hopelessness worse?”
  
• “If my guilt were removed, would I feel hopeless?”
  

If our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God. (1 John 3:21)

Once you discern the truth about your guilt . . .

• Sincerely ask God to forgive you for any sin causing you to experience true guilt and to forgive you for holding on to any false guilt.
  
• Steadfastly place your hope in Jesus Christ, choosing to believe in His personal acceptance of you and in His total forgiveness of your sins.
  
• Saturate your mind with Scriptures that encourage you to receive God’s complete acceptance of you.
  

There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Rom. 8:1)

Listening to countless callers to
Hope In The Night
, I’ve learned there are few things more tragic than being shanghaied in a sea of false guilt long after God has extended us freedom through His forgiveness.

Such was the case with Ron. I’ll never forget his despairing voice, his downcast spirit, his dejected heart the night he called.

Last Saturday I was driving for my company, and a little boy and his family were crossing the street. I hit him, and he went underneath the van. He was five years old. . . . He died.

Ron, I’m so very sorry—not just for the family but also for you. How are you processing this?

I have a hard time sleeping. I go to counseling . . . but the impact . . . the screaming and all the blood that poured out from the back of his head . . . he was five years old. It’s the worst cry I’ve heard in my life.
[Ron’s voice began to crack.]
I had to back the van off him. I can’t forget the impact . . . and there was nothing I could do.

I hear you, Ron, and I know that if you could have done anything, you would have saved that child. Is that right?

Yes. He’d just bought a gift for his mom for Mother’s Day, and he and his sister and another guy were crossing the street, and I had the green light and just like slow motion I saw his hand breaking away from his sister . . . and the impact . . . and then my big van on top of him. I’ve been reading and the Bible says “Thou shall not kill.”

I’m hearing that you are feeling a sense of blame.

Yes
.

Ron, my heart goes out to you. You have endured a trauma that few people could even begin to fathom. I want you to look with me at the intent of the Scripture you mentioned, “Thou shall not kill.” The word “kill” here indicates a choice, an act of the will to murder. You had no intent to murder anyone. Is that correct?

June, I didn’t want to kill anybody. And that innocent, happy little boy. . . .

Of course not. You see, Ron, God looks at your heart. What happened was not an act of your will. You didn’t make a decision to kill a boy.

Is his spirit in heaven now? What happens to children when they die?

Scripture tells us that David’s infant son died, and David made the statement, “I will go to him, but he will not return to me” [2 Sam. 12:23]. The point is, David was a righteous man, so he was saying that when he died he would go to his child in heaven, meaning the child would already be there. Also, that child would have no sorrow, no pain, no heartache. There will be heartache, certainly, for the family. And I understand why you are having difficulty right now. If that had happened to me, I, too, would be heartbroken over the loss of that child’s life and the impact on the family. Even though the child would be in heaven, I would ache for his family. Do you understand what I’m saying?

Yes. I was going to go into ministry, and I was going to join a pro-life organi
zation, and I’m going to be an uncle in October. I don’t have the courage to even
hold a child now. It hurts so bad every time I see one walk past when they get
out of school.

Ron, right now you’re going through a grieving process. And that is perfectly normal and even beneficial. You don’t want to stop or short-circuit the process. You’re going to get over the grief, but what I don’t want you to have is false guilt. You did not make a choice that ended up in the loss of life for another person. Did police ticket you for your role in the accident?

No, the witnesses said it wasn’t my fault. But that doesn’t make me feel any
better. I haven’t driven since then. I can’t drive anymore. How could I?

I appreciate that you have a compassionate heart. But it is not going to be a blessing from God for you to live with false guilt, nor an honor to that boy’s life if you just quit driving—quit living—forever. Let’s say that God’s will is for you to go into ministry.

Yes
.

Now here is this five-year-old boy in heaven. Do you think he would want you not to go into ministry . . . not to be a part of saving the lives of children? You are pro-life and you are wanting to save lives, right?

That’s right.

That probably means that you will have to travel. Is that right?

Yes
.

And do things on behalf of unborn children. That is honoring life. That is saving life, as opposed to shutting down. Does God want you to totally shut down?

I don’t know.

I believe you
do
know, Ron! God does not want you to totally shut down. God has a good plan in store for you, not only something to do, but a way to learn from this. What I’m hearing is, you are valuing life all the more. So let this be a positive springboard toward discovering, “How can I choose to do something in honor of this boy?” This boy made a mistake. Is that correct?

Yes
.

He ran into you. You did not cause this. So it does not bring honor to the memory of this child for you to live in false guilt. You need to say, “Lord, I want to honor this boy through the way I live my life.” Does shutting down in false guilt honor his life?

No
.

So you need to tell yourself the truth. Jesus said the truth will set you free. Many, many, many children die. The question is: Do we honor those children by what we do in their memory? You have that opportunity before you now.

I had the privilege of leading Ron in prayer as he humbly asked God to heal his heart and to use his life to save and serve others.

As the call ended, Ron’s newfound relief from false guilt—and resolve to live in the freedom that truth brings—was palpable. He had allowed the forgiveness of God to work in him, enabling him to forgive himself for the accident.

His heart was still full of sadness and sorrow over the tragedy that so profoundly touched many lives, including his own, but he had a stronger resolve to value life and to be used of God to honor the life of that little boy.

God’s grace is inexplicable. It is not what we deserve. But when we receive it with humble hearts and pass it on to others with mercy and compassion, it can change the world.

Hope is never more elusive than when you believe you don’t deserve it. You think your mistakes and shortcomings are exceptional and deserve an extra helping of misery and punishment. God says otherwise.

Frances Roberts, in her classic devotional
Come Away My Beloved
, envisions Jesus’ tender message to His children when she writes, “Draw near to me without spoiling the preciousness of our fellowship with self-condemnation.”
⁵

When you feel burdened by the weight of your own failings, think like He does: Forgive yourself.

An article from the
Billings Gazette
reported that an extraordinary treasure had been discovered on the beaches of Florida. Joel Ruth came across 180 near-mint-condition silver coins. These Spanish coins were from a Spanish fleet of about a dozen ships that were destroyed by a hurricane in 1715.
⁶

Then 289 years later another hurricane uncovered a portion of this treasure that had washed ashore. It took Hurricane Jeanne, a devastating tropical storm responsible for some of the worst destruction in Florida’s history, to bring that slice of shoreline back to where it had been years before. The storm exposed an impressive treasure to the one who went looking for it.

From a spiritual standpoint, look at what the Lord so often does: He’ll allow a storm in your life to expose some hidden treasure. Are you willing to look for it? Imagine this: In the midst of a painful storm He might prepare you for a personal ministry of mercy that you will later discover. After a costly crisis He could be uncovering coins of compassion for you to pick up and ultimately share with others. Through a severe, scary tsunami you may experience the grace of God like never before, which you can then give to others.

What personal hurricane have you experienced? What did you learn from it? As a result, what treasure do you have that you would otherwise not have?

The apostle Paul wrote, “We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.”
⁷
“Jars of clay” refers to what people see when they look at us—our weak, mortal bodies. “This treasure” is the light of Christ inside us shining through our cracks. The light of Christ shines the love of Christ and also shines His light rays of empathy, grace, compassion, and mercy.

And what happens when we possess this surpassing power? “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed” (2 Cor. 4:8–9 esv).

You are promised the
gift
ofgrace. This means at times you will be pressured by people but will not be
depressed
. You will be at wit’s end but not at hope’s end. You will be persecuted by people but not persecuted by God. You will be knocked down in life but not knocked out.

Now read this slowly: “It is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God” (2 Cor. 4:15 esv).

What is the reason for your hope? God’s gift of grace. He forgives you for all of your failures, sustains you through all of your storms, and reveals treasures after your trials.