Helping Hand (6 page)

heavy and aching out of his fly. He’d have liked to get a hand to it, but he

was using one to prop him self up and had wrapped the other around the

bit of Mac’s cock he couldn’t take. Mac m ust be close now, though, and

then Jez could j erk off. It wouldn’t take m uch—Jez was so turned on by

this.

Mac flexed his hips, and his cock bum ped the back of Jez’s throat.

“I’m close,” he gasped.

Jez considered pulling off, but then thought fuck it. He hadn’t m inded

swallowing back in the day, so he carried on sucking.

Mac cam e with a hoarse m oan, and he tightened his hand in Jez’s

hair, holding him down as Mac’s cock pulsed and filled his m outh with

com e. Jez gagged as the head of Mac’s cock hit the back of his throat

again.

“Fuck. Sorry.” Mac took his hand away abruptly, putting it on Jez’s

shoulder as Jez drew back, wiping his m outh as he swallowed.

“It’s okay.” Jez hadn’t m inded. The shattering of Mac’s control was

fucking hot and m ore than worth the discom fort. “You took m e by

surprise, that’s all.” Jez sat back on his heels, and Mac’s gaze slid down to

his dick. Rock-hard and dripping, pointing right at Mac.

Mac stared at it like it was a snake about to bite him . “I, uh…. Did

y ou want m e to—?”

“You don’t have to.” Jez couldn’t help the twinge of disappointm ent,

even though he’d known there was no way that Mac was going to want to

suck his dick in return. He clim bed over Mac and lay back down in his

previous spot. “But I’m gonna finish m y self off now if that’s all right with

y ou?” The video had ended, but Jez didn’t need it, not with his

im agination, and the taste of Mac still on his tongue. If this m ade Mac

uncom fortable, that was too bad. A little discom fort was a sm all price to

pay for an awesom e blowj ob, and Mac didn’t have to watch. Jez hitched

his T-shirt up and then breathed in sharply as he curled his fingers around

his neglected cock.

But Mac surprised him by shuffling down the bed after pulling his

trousers back up. He lay on his side and put his large hand on Jez’s thigh,

then slid it up to wrap it around Jez’s hand where he was stroking him self.

“Let m e.”

Hell y es. Jez would settle for a hand j ob. It was m ore than he’d

hoped for.

Mac didn’t touch him apart from the hand on Jez’s cock, but Jez could

feel the warm th of his body in the space between them . Their heads

were alm ost touching, and Mac’s breath whispered across Jez’s cheek.

Mac was hesitant at first, m oving his hand too slowly. But then he seem ed

to get m ore confident, and Jez encouraged him when he got the speed

and pressure j ust right.

“Yeah, like that.” Jez’s voice cam e out hoarse and strained. “Fuck.”

It was over way too soon. Jez wanted to m ake the m ost of the

experience. Who knew if Mac would ever touch his dick again? But he

was too turned on. This whole fucked-up situation was too hot, and Jez

couldn’t hold out.

Pleasure tore through him , and he went taut as he cam e with a gasp.

White sticky streaks patterned his clenched abs as Mac kept stroking him

until Jez’s cock gave a final spurt and he relaxed, sated. He gently pushed

Mac’s hand away. “’S too m uch now.”

Jez grabbed som e tissues from beside the bed and cleaned him self

up with Mac ly ing silently beside him . When Jez was clean and decent

again, he turned his head. Mac m et his gaze and gave a sm all sm ile that

didn’t reach his ey es. He looked uncertain, anxious, and Jez expected him

to m ake his excuses and leave quickly. But he didn’t.

“Have y ou done that before?” Mac asked.

Jez assum ed he was talking about the blowj ob. “Not since school, but

y eah.” His stom ach fluttered with nerves. He hadn’t adm itted that to any

of his new friends since leaving school. As far as all his uni friends were

concerned, Jez was 100 percent straight.

“You’re good at it.” Mac flushed, but he didn’t look away.

“Thanks… I guess?” Jez gave a sm all sm ile. “I had a bit of practice.

But it’s not that hard.” He cleared his throat and swallowed; the bitter taste

of Mac’s com e still lingered.

“But—” Mac frowned. “—You’re not gay, are y ou?”

Jez shook his head. “Nah. I like girls, but I suppose I like guy s too—

som e guy s, any way.” His heart beat faster as he waited for Mac’s

reaction. It wasn’t exactly a declaration, but surely Mac would get the

im plied m eaning and realise what Jez was say ing even though he didn’t

dare say the words out loud.

Mac’s frown softened slightly, but he still looked puzzled. “This is

doing m y head in a bit, to be honest,” he adm itted. “I’ve never wanted to

touch a guy before. I’ve alway s fancied girls, slept with girls, thought

about girls. And now….”

Now what? Jez wanted to ask. But he was afraid to push, so instead he

shrugged. “Don’t beat y ourself up over it. It felt good, what we j ust did,

y eah?” Mac nodded. “So don’t overthink it. It’s a bit of fun. Two m ates

helping each other out. It doesn’t m ake y ou gay. It doesn’t even m ake y ou

bi. Think of it as prison sex.” He forced a grin, try ing to m ake a j oke of it,

but his stom ach twisted unhappily as he added, “You’re sim ply m aking do

with what’s available.”

Mac huffed out a quiet chuckle at that. He didn’t deny it, but Jez was

sure he could see genuine affection in Mac’s expression, and that was

good enough for Jez. This was only ever going to be a tem porary thing.

Sooner or later Mac would m eet another girl and Jez would be firm ly

back in the friend zone, rem em bered only as a phase, a weird aberration

in Mac’s sexual history.

Chapter Six

After the first blowj ob, the rules changed. Hands-off becam e very

definitely hands-on—and som etim es m outh in Jez’s case. Mac m ade no

m ove to reciprocate by blowing Jez, but he was alway s good for a hand

j ob. Jez was really into sucking Mac’s cock, but his favourite thing they

did now was to j erk each other off at the sam e tim e. They tried it sitting

side-by -side, but it was way too awkward, and ly ing on their sides face-

to-face worked better. They couldn’t see whatever porn they were

supposedly watching then, but Jez didn’t care at all, and Mac didn’t seem

to m iss it either. Jez loved the intim acy of that position, the way their

breath m ingled and their knees bum ped. They usually took off their T-

shirts to save on laundry, and the sight of Mac’s broad m uscled chest and

the overpowering scent of his skin usually had Jez com ing

em barrassingly fast.

He was stuck in a weird no m an’s land with Mac. They were friends

who got each other off, but aside from that, they didn’t touch, and kissing

was out of the question. Jez assum ed it was, any way —there was no way

he was going to try it, or broach the subj ect. He had a feeling that kissing

another guy would be a hard lim it for Mac. Jez had never kissed another

guy either. He’d never wanted to before, but now he found him self

thinking about it all the tim e, and not only when they were j erking each

other off, but whenever Mac sm iled at him in a certain way, or m ade

him laugh, or caught his ey e across the living room when the others were

around.

Mac was in Jez’s room one evening, sitting on Jez’s bed, working on

their latest assignm ent, when Jez’s phone rang. He looked at the screen.

“It’s m y parents.”

“Want m e to go?”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll try and be quick.” They had all their work spread

out in here and it would be a hassle for Mac to m ove room s.

Jez pressed the button to take the call, wondering which parent it

would be. “Hi.”

“Hi, darling.” It was his m um . “I thought I’d call as we haven’t

heard from y ou for a week or so. How are y ou?”

“Okay, thanks.”

They chatted for a few m inutes. Jez didn’t have m uch news, but he

reassured her that he was m anaging to keep up with his study ing despite

his part-tim e j ob. “I only do two shifts a week, one at the weekend and

one evening. It’s not interfering with uni at all.”

“And are y ou eating okay ?” she pressed. “I don’t want y ou starving

y ourself to save m oney for going out.”

“Mum , I’m fine. I’m m anaging m y m oney better this y ear, and I’m

hardly going out at all. I’m eating fine.” He caught Mac looking at him .

Mac grinned, and Jez rolled his ey es.

“I wish y our father hadn’t insisted.” She lowered her voice. “You

know I thought we should pay off the overdraft for y ou, y ou could

alway s pay us back once y ou’re working. But y ou know what he’s like—”

“It’s fine, Mum .” Jez cut her off. They ’d been through this enough in

the sum m er; he didn’t need to hear it again. “Any way, y ou caught m e in

the m iddle of an assignm ent, so I should probably get back to it.”

“Hang on, y our dad wants to talk to y ou too. Let m e get him .” There

was a rustle, and her voice was distant and m uffled as she called,

“Martin!” Then, back to norm al, she said, “Okay, here he is. Now take

care, darling, and stay in touch, please. You can alway s em ail m e if y ou

don’t want to phone. By e for now.”

Jez’s shoulders stiffened instinctively as he waited for his dad to

com e on the line. He should get into the habit of em ailing them m ore

often, and m ay be then he wouldn’t have to put up with the awkward

phone calls. He didn’t m ind talking to his m um , but his dad alway s got his

back up.

“Hello, Jerem y.” His father’s voice boom ed down the line. “How

are y our grades this term ?”

Jez gritted his teeth. Would it kill his dad to ask him in a m ore general

way how he was before quizzing him about his perform ance? But he

schooled his voice into politeness as he answered his dad’s questions about

his course and then, inevitably, about his finances. He was very aware of

Mac listening in, even though Mac wasn’t watching him —he had a

notebook open and a pen in his hand, but he was doodling rather than

writing.

Once his dad was reassured that Jez was working hard and not

pissing all his m oney away on beer, he finally said in a m ore congenial

tone, “And y ou’re okay ? Every thing all right generally ?”

“Yeah. I’m fine, Dad, thanks. But I have to go now. I have an

assignm ent to finish.” Those were the m agic words. No way would his

dad keep him from study ing.

“Oh, okay. I won’t keep y ou, then. Take care.”

“By e, Dad.”

“By e.”

Jez disconnected the call with a sigh. “Ugh.” He dropped his head

back against the wall with a thud.

“Your dad’s pretty hard on y ou, huh?” Mac said.

“Yeah. He was livid with m e last y ear for getting into debt.”

Mac frowned. “If y ou don’t m ind m e asking… they only give y ou a

very basic allowance, y eah? I was wondering why. I m ean… y our dad’s

a doctor, isn’t he? And y our m um …. What does she do again?”

“Solicitor.”

“They can’t be short of m oney. So how com e they don’t help y ou

out m ore?”

Jez shrugged. “It’s j ust the way m y dad is. He say s I need to be

independent and learn to m anage m y m oney. He com es from a working

class background, and he had to work bloody hard to get where he is

today. Dad doesn’t want m e to be one of those entitled kids who expects a

free ride from their parents. It’s fair enough, really. But I wish he didn’t

m ake m e feel so bad about it. I fucked up last y ear and I know it. But I

hate feeling like I’m disappointing him .”

“Well, y ou’re back on track now, y eah?” Mac’s ey es were warm and

reassuring.

“Yeah.” Jez sm iled. Som etim es he couldn’t help sm iling when he

looked at Mac. “Yeah, I am .”

One afternoon Jez got back to the house after a tutorial that finished

early and found Josh in the kitchen m aking instant coffee.

“Want any thing?” Josh asked. “There’s enough hot water.”

“Yeah, I’ll have a coffee too, cheers. White, no sugar.”

“The opposite of m ine, then.” Josh grinned.

Jez watched as Josh spooned and stirred, adding m ilk to Jez’s and two

heaped teaspoonfuls of sugar to the dark liquid in his own m ug.

They took their coffees into the living room . Josh sat on one of the

sofas and picked up a m agazine. Jez took the other sofa, sitting with his

elbows on his knees and staring at the carpet as he listened to the sound of

the pages rustle as Josh turned them , obviously searching for som ething