Helping Hand (15 page)

it.”

Jez tried again. “Mac—”

“And I m issed y ou this week,” Mac interrupted. “I m issed y ou so

m uch, and I’m crazy about y ou, and I wish…. But I’m not gay, so I don’t

get it. Why do I feel like this?” Mac sounded so genuinely confused.

Jez had a lum p the size of a fist in his throat. “What do y ou wish?” he

whispered. His heart surged like a bird fluttering its wings against the cage

of his ribs.

There was a long pause.

“I wish we could be boy friends.” Mac’s voice was sm all and

uncertain. “I know it’s stupid and y ou don’t want that, but—”

“Why do y ou think I don’t want that?” Jez’s voice cam e out m ore

sharply than he’d intended. “I do. Fuck, I’ve wanted it for a while now.”

“But y ou were so freaked out last weekend when Shawn caught us,

and then y ou ended it….”

“Because I thought that was what you wanted. You were the one

who kept insisting y ou weren’t gay. I thought this was j ust a bit of fun for

y ou.”

“I’m not gay. Or I wasn’t till the first tim e I kissed y ou. That was

when every thing changed.” Mac’s hand tightened on the back of Jez’s

neck. “Before that it was j ust a bit of fun. But after that night it was

fucking confusing because it was so m uch m ore than that. It is m ore than

that. So, can we try again?”

Jez drew back. He wished he could see Mac’s expression in the dark.

Mac sounded so hopeful, so sincere, and Jez’s heart filled and overflowed

as he sm iled into the darkness.

“Yes.” He closed the gap and found Mac’s lips. He kissed him lightly.

Their dry lips caught, and he tasted the faint sweetness of alcohol on

Mac’s breath. Mac’s hand on the back of Jez’s neck held him there, and he

deepened the kiss for a m om ent before pulling back.

“So this is it. We’re boy friends now?” Mac still sounded uncertain.

Jez pressed his palm against Mac’s chest and felt the answering thud

of his heart. “Yep. Boy friends who aren’t gay.” He chuckled.

Mac was quiet for a m om ent. “We’re going to tell people now, y eah?

And they ’ll all assum e we’re gay.”

Jez shrugged. “Let them think what they like. Gay, bi, gay for each

other, I don’t care. Fuck labels. I’m into y ou and y ou’re into m e, and that’s

what m atters.”

Mac wrapped his arm s m ore tightly around Jez and kissed his cheek.

“Yeah. That’s all I care about too.”

Chapter Fifteen

On the last Friday of term , they threw an early Christm as party in

their house before they all went their separate way s for the holiday s. The

party was on Friday night, and Jez and Mac were both heading hom e for

Christm as on Sunday. Jez was dreading the im pending separation but

try ing not to show it. They ’d only be apart for a couple of weeks, and

they could talk or Sky pe every day. He suspected Mac was feeling the

sam e, though, because he’d been like a lim pet in bed for the past few

nights. Jez had got used to waking up with Mac plastered to his back every

night this week. He’d m iss it over the holiday s.

The house was packed, the lights low, there were bits of tinsel draped

around the place, and loud m usic filled the living room . Jez snuggled

closer to Mac on the sofa and plucked the bottle of beer out of his hand.

Jez had finished his bottle and couldn’t be arsed to fight his way through

the crowds to get another one. Mac turned and sm iled, putting his hand on

Jez’s thigh in a possessive gesture that sent a little thrill through Jez. Being

affectionate in front of other people was still a novelty. Jez didn’t think

he’d ever get tired of it.

Telling their friends about their relationship hadn’t been as difficult as

Jez was expecting. Word had spread fast, but it was better that way as it

m eant they had less people to tell them selves. Mostly, people had been

pretty cool with it and seem ed happy for them .

Shawn was still uncom fortable around them , but to his credit, he was

try ing now. When they ’d told him they were an item , the first thing he

said was “So it wasn’t a one-off, then?”

Jez had fessed up to the lie, adm itting it had been going on a while.

Shawn snapped that he didn’t need the gory details and proceeded to

avoid them both for a few day s. But gradually he’d chilled out and started

behaving m ore norm ally again. There was still som e residual tension on

both sides, but Jez figured they ’d get past it eventually. And if they didn’t,

then Shawn wasn’t a friend worth keeping.

Jez had decided to tell his parents the day after he and Mac got it

together properly. He was the sort of person who preferred to get difficult

stuff over with, so the thought of waiting was worse than facing up to it.

Mac wasn’t ready to talk to his folks y et. He’d been apologetic, worried

that Jez would see it as him not being as com m itted as Jez was. But Jez

had reassured him that it was fine. It was Mac’s decision to m ake in his

own tim e.

Jez’s parents had been better than he thought they ’d be. But when

they ’d started to quiz him about it over Sky pe and he’d explained that he

thought he was bi rather than gay, his dad had im m ediately started talking

about it being a phase and som ething that Jez would grow out of. Jez shut

that down fast and assured his dad that his bisexuality wasn’t a phase, and

even if he ended up with a wom an, it wouldn’t m ean he was m agically

straight. He m anaged to refrain from adding that he was pretty sure no

straight guy enj oy ed sucking dick as m uch as he did.

His m um had been great, though. She was surprised, for sure, but

quick to be supportive. She’d even asked if they could m eet Mac

som etim e soon, so they had m ade plans for Mac to visit Jez’s house for

New Year.

Jez drained the last of the beer he’d pinched from Mac and then

leaned in close, speaking directly into Mac’s ear so that Mac could hear

him over the m usic. “I’m gonna get another. Do y ou want one too?”

The light stubble on Mac’s j aw brushed Jez’s cheek as he replied.

“Yeah, please. Guess I’d better, as som e greedy bugger drank all m ine.”

Jez drew back until he could see Mac’s face, and they grinned at

each other. Mac licked his lips, and Jez couldn’t resist leaning in for a kiss.

“Ugh. Get a room,” Shawn y elled across at them , but Jez j ust gave

him the finger and kissed Mac again, deeper this tim e.

Later, people were dancing. Dani dragged Jez to j oin them while

Mac was in the toilet.

“Com e and dance,” she said. “You haven’t m oved from that sofa all

night.”

Jez let her lead him into the m iddle of the room . They ’d m oved all

the furniture out for the party apart from the sofas, so there was a decent

space. Packed tight with bodies in the dim light, it was alm ost like being at

a club. Jez lost him self in the m usic for a while. He danced with Dani till

her boy friend cam e to claim her, and then he put on som e stupid Dad-

dancing m oves with Mike for a while. While he was attem pting to

m oonwalk, he felt firm hands on his hips as he backed into a solid body.

“What the hell do I see in y ou?” Mac’s am used voice in his ear

m ade Jez shiver.

Jez turned, putting his arm s around Mac and reeling him in. “You’re

j ust j ealous of m y legendary dance skills. Stop laughing at m e.” He

kissed the sm irk off Mac’s face.

They carried on dancing, together at first, but then they drifted apart

in the throng for a while. Jez was dancing in a group with Josh, Dani, and

her boy friend when he caught sight of Mac with Gem m a. She had her

arm s around Mac’s neck and there was no space between their bodies. Jez

frowned, j ealousy flashing through him and m aking his m uscles tense.

As if Mac could feel the heat of Jez’s glare, he turned his head and

m et Jez’s gaze. He grinned and j erked his head in a com e-here gesture.

Gem m a peeled herself off Mac when Jez sidled up. “I was only

borrowing him ,” she said with a wistful sm ile. “You can have him back

now.”

“Thanks.” Jez tried not to sound pissy, but he wasn’t sure he’d

m anaged it.

Mac reached out a hand and grabbed Jez’s wrist, tugging him closer.

He wrapped his arm s around Jez, and they sway ed to the m usic together.

“You don’t need to be j ealous,” Mac m urm ured in Jez’s ear.

“I’m not.”

“Liar. If looks could kill, poor Gem m a would be toast. We were only

dancing. And any way … y ou’re the one I want, not her.”

A flood of heady possessiveness washed over Jez, m aking his cock

thicken and swell in his too-tight j eans. “Good, because y ou’re mine.”

With their hips aligned and only a couple of inches of height

difference Jez could feel Mac’s bulge nestled above his own. Neither of

them was totally hard y et, but they were getting there.

“Wanna go upstairs?” Mac spoke the words quietly into Jez’s ear.

Jez turned his head and claim ed Mac’s lips in a deep, dirty kiss. Mac

kissed him back, his hands wandering down to grab Jez’s arse. Jez was

breathless when Mac finally pulled away to ask, “Was that a y es?”

“Technically, it was a hell y eah.”

Mac laughed, already taking Jez’s hand and dragging him towards

the door.

Upstairs, they stum bled into Jez’s room and locked the door behind

them . They ’d learned their lesson about privacy the hard way.

Jez pinned Mac against the door, kissing him im patiently now. They

fum bled at each other’s clothes, tugging up T-shirts, unbuttoning flies, and

kicking off their shoes. Mac pushed back against Jez, backing him towards

the bed as they discarded their T-shirts. Mac’s skin was warm from

dancing, with a light sheen of sweat that helped Jez’s hands glide over the

m uscles of his back. Jez kissed down Mac’s neck, breathing him in. They

stum bled towards the bed and then tripped and fell in a tangle, laughing

between kisses, landing with Mac sprawled on top.

Mac broke the kiss to peel Jez’s rem aining clothes off and then stood

to get his own j eans and underwear off. His ey es lit hungrily on Jez’s hard

cock, which j erked in response as though asking for attention. Mac

grinned, crawling back over Jez to press tantalising kisses to his thighs and

hips, deliberately avoiding Jez’s straining erection.

“Fucking tease.” Jez put his hand on his cock and started to stroke.

“I’ll do it m y self if y ou won’t.”

Heat flared in Mac’s dark ey es, and he licked his lips. “Yeah?” His

voice was husky, and he stared at the m ovem ent of Jez’s hand, entranced.

“You like that?” Excitem ent curled at the base of Jez’s spine as he

gripped tighter, thum bing over the sensitive head with each stroke. “Want

m e to put on a show for y ou—for old tim e’s sake? Or m ay be we should

watch som e porn?” He grinned, breathless.

“Who needs porn when I can watch m y real-life boy friend getting

him self off?” Mac asked, his gaze still fixed on the slow, steady

m ovem ent of Jez’s hand.

“You do it too.”

Mac m oved to straddle Jez’s legs, his powerful thighs braced and his

thick cock rearing up. Mac wrapped his hand around his shaft, and Jez

watched as he j erked him self, slowly at first, then gradually increasing

the pace as his breathing grew shallow and ragged.

“So fucking sexy,” Jez said. “I alway s loved watching y ou. Right

from the start, even when I shouldn’t have been looking.”

“Me too. I was afraid y ou’d notice I was looking at y ou instead of

the porn.” Mac paused for a m om ent. He dipped his fingers in his slit and

spread the shiny slick over the head of his cock before starting to stroke

him self again. Mac’s balls were high and tight. Jez could feel his own

orgasm coiling in the pit of his belly, the tension building fast. Caught in a

feedback loop of arousal, the only sounds in the room were their

breathing and the wet slide of hands on cocks.

Mac was the first to com e. He groaned, thighs tensing and abs

rippling as he shot his load all over Jez’s cock and his m oving hand. The

warm wetness slid between Jez’s fingers as he carried on stroking him self

and the dirty -hot rightness of it sent him over the edge too, cry ing out as

pleasure ripped through him , leaving him cursing and j erking helplessly,

his cock pulsing and adding to the com e that already covered him . Jez

closed his ey es, lost for a m om ent, until his heart stopped try ing to beat its

way out of his chest. His hand was still curled around his cock as it began