Hawk's Way Grooms (24 page)

She looked surprised again. “Why?”

He was startled into a laugh. “That's a stupid question.”

She lowered her lashes again. “I meant it seriously. And I'd like an answer.”

He wished she would look up, but she didn't, and he didn't have the nerve to reach over and tip her chin up. He noticed they were starting to get attention from some friends of his, and he figured he'd better get this over with before they came over and started giving him a hard time. “I just thought it might be interesting to get to know you,” he said.

When she looked up, she caught him glancing at two buddies of his who were whispering behind their hands. “Did someone dare you to go out with me?”

“Are you kidding?” He saw from her face that she wasn't.

“It's happened to me before,” she said defensively.

He felt his insides clench and struggled to keep the pity—and anger—from his voice. “All I want to do is take you out on a date.”

“So you say.”

Frustrated, he'd already turned to leave when she reached out, touching him with the hook. He barely managed to keep himself from jerking away.

“Wait,” she said. “If you want to see me, you can come over to my house tomorrow morning.”

He raised a brow in question. “What's going on at your house?”

She smiled and his loins tightened. “I'm in charge of making favors for your sister's wedding. You can help. I'll provide lunch.”

“All right. I'll see you then.”

“Everything all right here?”

Randy was surprised by Hope's interruption. He wouldn't have thought she paid much attention to what her sister did. He caught the militant look in Hope's eyes and realized she was there to protect Faith. “We're done,” he said. He opened his mouth to say “See you tomorrow” to Faith, but shut it again when he realized everybody's attention was now turned in their direction.

He walked away without looking back, because he didn't want to see what Faith thought of his hasty retreat. It wasn't that he was embarrassed about their date or anything, but he didn't want to put up with his friends teasing him about it. He knew he wouldn't be able to keep from getting upset, and the more upset he got, the more brutal their teasing would be. Better to keep the whole business to himself.

“Are you all right?” Hope whispered to her sister.

“I'm fine,” Faith said.

“He didn't—”

“I'm fine,” Faith said with a smile that Hope recognized. Faith used smiles the way a knight used a shield to ward off harmful blows.

Hope would have urged Faith to leave right then, except she hadn't yet found an opportunity to talk with Jake Whitelaw. Not that he wanted to talk to her. Or even knew she was alive. When she'd said hello to him earlier, he'd scowled and replied, “That's the wrong dress for a funeral.”

She'd bitten back a sharp retort. Since she'd only worn the dress to get his attention, it had served its purpose. Hope sighed as she looked down at the long legs revealed by the short skirt. Why couldn't Jake have admired her legs instead of criticizing the dress?

Everything she did—smoking, driving fast, even wearing makeup so she'd look older—was calculated to make him notice her. But she might as well be eight years old instead of eighteen. All he saw was a kid. Someday she was going to figure out a way to convince Jake Whitelaw that Hope Butler was the woman of his dreams.

 

C
OLT KEPT
J
ENNY AWAY FROM THE
house as long as he dared, but brought her back in time to say good-bye to everyone. Her family and his were the last to leave, and they stood on the back porch together bidding them farewell.

“We're so glad you're going to be part of the family,” his mother said as she hugged Jenny good-bye.

“Colt's a lucky man,” his father said as he gave Jenny a kiss on the forehead.

“You'd better take damned good care of her,” Jenny's brother Sam warned quietly as he shook Colt's hand.

Colt knew Sam was only worried about his sister, so he simply said, “I will.” He wished he could tell Sam that he loved Jenny, but it was too soon after Huck's death to admit to such feelings. Besides, loving her wasn't enough. Huck had loved Jenny, yet he'd left her alone to raise her brothers.

Jake was last in line to say good-bye, and Colt met his elder brother's hard-eyed look without flinching.

“I hope you know what you're doing,” Jake said. “I think you're asking for heartache.”

“It's my heart,” Colt said. “Let me worry about it.”

Jake gave a grudging nod. “All right, little brother. Don't say I didn't warn you.”

When Colt and Jenny were finally alone, they were completely alone, since Randy had escaped to the movies with some friends. Colt was surprised when he ushered Jenny inside to find the kitchen as clean as a whistle.

“I expected to spend the evening washing casserole dishes,” he said. “What are we going to do with all this free time?”

“I've got books that need to be balanced,” Jenny said.

Colt shook his head. “Not tonight. You're too tired.”

“I'll decide whether I'm too tired,” Jenny retorted irritably.

“There. See? You're so tired you're snapping at me.”

“I'm not—” Jenny cut herself off and hissed out a breath of air. She gave him a plaintive look. “I don't know how to do nothing, Colt.”

“Then we'll do something,” he promised as he slid his arm around her waist and headed her into the living room.

“Like what?” she demanded as she plopped down onto the couch.

“Well, there's always necking,” he teased as he dropped down beside her. “Let's see if I remember how it's done. I sneak my arm along the back of the couch, like so.”

Jenny giggled as she watched his arm move snakelike along the couch behind her.

“Then I take your hand in mine, to kind of distract you from what my other hand is doing.” He suited word to deed and threaded the fingers of her left hand with the fingers of his. He waggled his right hand, which now completely encircled her. “Then this hand comes to rest ever so lightly on your shoulder.
Voilà! I yam readee for zee zeduction,
” he said in a terrible French accent.

Jenny laughed. “Being the very good girl that I am, I will, of course, pretend not to notice your hand on my shoulder,” she said, joining his game.

“Of course,” he agreed, returning her grin with one of his own.

“But secretly,” she said, shooting him an impish look, “I'll be enticing you to do more.”

His brows waggled. “You will?”

She nodded, grinning broadly.

“How?” he asked, intrigued.

“Oh, in little ways, like making sure that our hands rest on
your
thigh, instead of mine.”

Colt looked down and discovered that their joined hands were indeed lying on his thigh instead of hers. He could suddenly feel the heat of her hand through his black suit trousers. A more intense physical response was not long in coming. He hoped to hell she didn't notice. “Then what?” he asked in a raspy voice.

“I'd lean a little closer and bat my eyelashes at you and look demure.” She did so in a way that should have been funny, but which merely left him wondering what secrets she was hiding beneath her lowered lids.

He leaned close to her ear and whispered, “Then what?” and felt her body quiver.

“I'd wait to see if you took the bait,” she murmured.

“Look at me, Jenny.”

She lifted her lids, and their gazes caught and held. He lowered his head toward hers, drawn by her parted lips. He kept his eyes on her mouth, waiting for even the slightest indication that she didn't want this to happen. Sure enough, she backed away.

“I'd resist at first,” she said, her eyes lambent but still full of mischief. “But when you least expected it, I'd turn to you and make all your adolescent male dreams come true.” She reached out with her free hand, caught his nape and drew his head down to hers, their mouths meshing before she slipped her tongue between his lips to taste him.

An instant later she was on her feet, wiping her mouth and backing away from him. “Ohmigod. I shouldn't have done that.”

He was on his feet and headed toward her, his hands outstretched in supplication. “It was just a game, Jenny.”

“You're right. I'm tired. I need to rest. Good night, Colt.”

An instant later she was gone.

Colt took a step after her and stopped himself. His body was rock hard with no hope of satisfaction, but he only had himself to blame. “What did you expect, Whitelaw?” he muttered. “When you play with fire, you'd better damn well expect to get burned.”

J
ENNY WOKE TO THE SOUND OF A HAMMER
against wood. The sun was high and a warm breeze billowed the lace curtains at the open window. She hadn't set her alarm because it was Saturday, and she didn't have to make sure Randy got off to school on time. But it was rare that she slept so late.

Then she remembered.
I kissed Colt last night. And not by accident. I wanted it to happen. I helped it to happen. And I could have done a lot more. He wouldn't have stopped me.

She had fled, afraid of the powerful feelings evoked by that brief meeting of lips. It wasn't like her to run away, but nothing about the past ten days had been the least bit normal. It was time to face facts. Time to stop pretending her life had even the remotest chance of turning out happily ever after.

She couldn't marry Colt. It wouldn't be fair. Not unless she told him the truth about herself. And she knew what would happen if she did that. She had to call the whole thing off. Now. Before it was too late.

Jenny yanked on a pair of jeans and slipped into a chambray shirt. She ran a brush through her hair but didn't even take time to put it up in a ponytail. The noise was coming from the back of the house, and as she hurried through the kitchen she saw the remnants of two blueberry pancake breakfasts in the sink. She stopped at the screen door and stared.

Colt and Randy were working side by side, both stripped to the waist. Colt's shoulder muscles flexed as he supported a portion of the back porch roof while Randy slipped a new post in place under it. Colt's bronzed skin glistened with sweat and beads of perspiration pearled in the dark hair on his chest. His jeans had slid down so she could see his navel and the line of black down leading into his jeans.

Her body tightened viscerally.

Jenny was shocked at how quickly she'd responded to the sight of Colt's half-naked body and clutched at the doorjamb to keep herself from bolting again. She would surely get over this aberrant attraction once Colt was gone. She started to push the screen door open but hesitated when he spoke.

“That's it, boy. Easy does it.” Colt let go of the rotting post he'd been holding, and the weight of the roof settled onto the new post.

“Holy cow! We did it!” Randy exclaimed.

“We make a good team,” Colt said, laying a hand across Randy's youthful shoulders. Her brother beamed with pride.

Jenny felt her throat swell closed. This was what her brothers had missed. A father to teach them to be men. She'd done her best, but there were some things a mother couldn't provide.

She swallowed down the ache in her throat that arose whenever she acknowledged what had been stolen from her…from all of them…when their father had run away rather than face their mother's illness. She'd been the eldest, the one who remembered him best, so his abandonment had hit her the hardest. She wasn't about to set herself up for that kind of heartache again.

“How long are you going to hang around?” Randy asked.

Jenny saw the startled look on Colt's face. She didn't usually eavesdrop, but she was curious to hear his answer.

Colt picked up a hammer to knock the post farther into place and said, “Long enough to help your sister put this place back together.”

“How long is that?” Randy persisted.

“What does it matter to you?” Colt asked. “If I understood your sister right, you're headed off to college in the fall. Bring me one of those rails, will you?”

Randy brought him a porch rail and squatted beside him as he measured and began to saw. “I'm asking because I am going off to college. I hate the thought of leaving Jenny here all alone.”

“Yeah,” Colt agreed. “That's tough. You want to try nailing this in place?”

“Sure,” Randy said.

Jenny watched as Colt showed Randy how to run a plumb line so the porch rail would be straight. She wondered for a moment how he could know so much about carpentry, until she remembered Colt had been trained his whole life to take over Hawk's Pride. There wasn't much he didn't know about running a ranch, and that included the kind of repairs he'd been doing for the past ten days.

Jenny had discovered it was easier to do the repairs herself than take the time to train her brothers. She realized now that she had cheated them of the pride in a job well-done and herself of the pleasure of teaching them that she saw on Colt's face.

“I'm real worried about Jenny living here all alone,” Randy admitted as he began nailing the rail in place. “I mean, when you go back to flying jets.”

“Maybe I can talk Jenny into selling this place and coming with me.”

Randy turned to gape at Colt, and the hammer came down on his thumb. “Yow!” He leaped up and flung his hand around, trying to ease the pain. Eventually the thumb ended up in his mouth.

By then Jenny was out the door and standing on the porch beside her brother, reaching for his hand. “Are you all right?”

Randy yanked his hand away and said angrily, “Why are we bothering to fix this place up, if you're just going to sell it?”

“I never agreed—”

“This is our home,” Randy interrupted. “You can't sell it!”

Jenny was furious with Colt for putting such an idea in Randy's head, but equally annoyed with her brother. “You know I'd never sell the Double D if I had a choice.” She shot a quick glance at Colt, who looked chagrined. “It appears I may not have a choice.”

Randy turned to Colt. “Is that true, Colt? Are you going to force Jenny to sell the Double D?”

Colt's lips pursed, and he shook his head. “I was only suggesting it might be better if she did.”

“How would you feel if your parents sold Hawk's Pride?” Randy demanded. “What if it belonged to someone else and you could never go back? You'd hate it, wouldn't you?”

“I guess I would,” Colt conceded. “But—”

“No buts,” Randy said. “Look, I've got to get out of here. I promised I'd ride over and visit a friend this morning.” He grabbed his shirt from the rail where he'd left it and turned to Jenny, his face anguished. “Just don't do anything without thinking it through, all right?”

“Shouldn't you wash up first?” Jenny suggested, knowing as soon as the words were out of her mouth how much Randy would resent them.

“I'll rinse off at the sink in the barn.” He practically ran down the porch steps, headed for the barn.

Jenny whirled on Colt, determined to send him away. But the words caught in her throat. She met his gaze and remembered what had happened the previous night. She had to speak quickly, or she'd lose the will to speak at all.

“When did you intend to let me in on this little plan of yours to sell the Double D?” she asked pointedly.

“It's not a bad idea.”

“Forget it! If you didn't want to marry me, all you had to do was say so. I can manage on my own. I always have.”

“You shouldn't have had to carry the burden by yourself for so long,” he retorted. “Huck should have been here.”

She looked into Colt's eyes and drew a sharp breath. “Don't you dare pity me! I don't need your sympathy. I don't need anyone. I can manage on my—”

He grabbed her shoulders and shook her. “Damn it, Jenny. Why won't you let me help?”

“I don't want you here. I don't want you touching me or kissing me or…or touching me!”

She fought him, but his arms circled around her, pulling her close so she couldn't strike out at him. He was saying something, but the sound was drowned out by the pulse pounding in her ears. She kicked his shin and heard him yelp, but he held on. One of his hands tangled in her hair, and he yanked her head back. “Look at me, Jenny. Look at me!”

She stared into eyes that were filled with compassion. And regret. And something else she was afraid to name.

“I'm glad you kissed me last night,” he said.

Jenny felt her heart begin to race. “It can't happen again, Colt. Huck's only been dead—”

“We're alive. We're going to be husband and wife. It's not as if we're strangers. We've been friends for a long time.”

“
Friends.
Nothing more.”

“Not yet,” he said softly. His lips had a certain fullness and rigidity she recognized, and which made her heart pound all the harder.

“You're a beautiful woman, Jenny. Why are you so surprised that I find you desirable? Or that you might desire me? Why are you fighting so hard not to feel anything?”

She swallowed hard.
Because it can't last. Because it's entirely likely I'm not going to be here on this earth much longer than Huck.

“You can grieve Huck and still go on living,” Colt said in a gentle voice.

She was frightened by how persuasive he sounded. She groped for an explanation that he would accept—besides the truth. “I can't just forget Huck. He was—”

“Never here,” Colt said implacably. “How often did you see him over the past ten years?”

“I saw him lots!” Jenny retorted.

“Twelve times,” Colt said. “I know because I came with him every time except the last. I was here more than he was, because he spent most of his leave with his father.”

“He wrote me—”

“Cards—on birthdays and holidays. I know. I made sure of it.”

Jenny's stomach churned. “He loved me, Colt.”

His thumb caressed her jaw, but his hold on her hair tightened, forcing her to look up at him. “I know. And you loved him. But be honest, Jenny. If you hadn't been tied to this ranch, hadn't been tied down raising four brothers, would you have kept on loving a man who was never there for you?”

Jenny's eyes misted, and her nose stung with the threat of tears she refused to shed. “You can leave anytime, Colt. Go sniff some jet fuel. Get out!”

“I'm not going to leave you, Jenny. I'm not going to walk away, no matter how hard you push me. Between us, we're going to figure out what to do. There's got to be a solution that'll work for both of us. All we have to do is find it.”

“I don't need you! I—”

He kissed her hard, cutting off speech. Then his mouth softened, and his lips moved over hers, searching for some response.

Jenny's heart skipped a beat before blood surged to her center. She clutched at Colt's bare shoulders, unsure whether she wanted to pull him close or push him away. When she hesitated, his tongue slid into her mouth for a taste, and she was undone. All thought flew out of her head, replaced by sensation.

This is what was always missing with Huck. The need to merge body and soul with another human being. The need to make two halves into one whole. The need—

The kiss ended as abruptly as it had begun. Colt looked dazed. And as distraught as she felt herself. He let her go and took a quick step back. He didn't seem to know what to do with his hands, and he finally stuck his thumbs in his back pockets. “I think maybe we'd better set some ground rules. I want—”

“Holy cow! Holy cow, Jenny! Look what I found!”

Jenny tore her troubled gaze from Colt's face and looked toward the barn. Randy was mounted on his chestnut gelding, but he was pointing at a large animal that was partially hidden from view in the corral behind the barn. “What is it?” Jenny called back to him.

“My wedding gift to you,” Colt answered for Randy.

“You got me an animal for a wedding gift?” she said, her brows lowering in confusion as she headed for the corral.

Colt kept pace with her. “Not just any animal,” he said. “A Santa Gertrudis bull from the King Ranch.”

Jenny halted in her tracks and turned to stare. “Are you kidding? You're
not
kidding,” she said as she got a good look at Colt's face. She couldn't catch her breath.

The Santa Gertrudis breed, three-eighths Indian Brahman and five-eighths British Shorthorn, had been developed in the early twentieth century on the King Ranch, which still produced some of the finest Santa Gertrudis cattle to be found anywhere in the world. A bull like the one he described would cost a fortune—and could save the Double D.

Jenny turned and raced for the corral. Randy was off his horse and leaning over the corral, ogling the deep, cherry-red-colored bull when she reached him. “Ohmigod!” she breathed. “It's Rob Roy.”

“None other,” Colt confirmed with a grin as he put a booted foot up on the corral and leaned over to admire the bull. “Do you like him?”

Jenny couldn't breathe.

Rob Roy had been named grand champion Santa Gertrudis bull at the most recent stock show in Fort Worth. All by himself, this bull could put the Double D in the black.

Randy whooped and said, “Holy cow!”

“Do you like him?” Colt asked softly. “I mean, I thought about getting you something a little more romantic, like a diamond—”