Authors: C. Gockel,S. T. Bende,Christine Pope,T. G. Ayer,Eva Pohler,Ednah Walters,Mary Ting,Melissa Haag,Laura Howard,DelSheree Gladden,Nancy Straight,Karen Lynch,Kim Richardson,Becca Mills
“They took our memories of our life on Earth and made sure that we would not be able to stay in your world for a long duration of time.”
My eyes widened in shock. “What do you mean? You don’t remember your life on Earth?
“No,” he said softly. “But ever since I entered your world, I’ve had a couple of glimpses of what I believe to be flashbacks of my time on Earth. They don’t make any sense. It’s a lot like déjà vu. It doesn’t matter. It was many lifetimes ago. I think it’s just that I want to remember, but I can’t.”
I didn’t know what to say. What words could I say to make it better? There were no words that seemed to fit a situation like this. I felt so bad for him. I couldn’t imagine not being able to remember my family and friends.
He continued talking. “If I stay here too long, and I don’t know what too long is…hours...days…surely not months…I will die. I will be banished from Halo City.” He was hesitant to say the last sentence.
I guess I wouldn’t be too fond of them if they had erased my memory either. That would also explain why Alexa Rose was upset when Michael had to come to our world. She obviously knew that he couldn’t stay down here that long and was worried for his safety. “Is Alexa Rose your sister?”
“We are all brothers and sisters in Halo City. We have no recollection of having any siblings on Earth.”
“Sorry, I forgot,” I said, thinking I should choose my words better. “I was just wondering because she seems very protective of you, and if I didn’t know any better, I would think that she was your sister. She seems attached to you.” I knew the reason why. How could anyone resist him?
“Yes, I’m afraid she is. I don’t mind it at all. During the time of war, the fallen captured many alkins, including children. I rescued her from them so I take responsibility for taking care of her—not that anyone else wouldn’t—but yes, she is attached to me.”
“Since you can’t stay long in my world, is that why I can’t stay in your world?”
“Yes. Crossroads is like a second Heaven, or a place between Heaven and Earth. When humans are in a state of coma, or have near death experiences, their souls may wander, and sometimes they drift there, but they never cross over to Halo City.”
“Unlike me,” I murmured.
“Yes, unlike you. And because you are the first, we are taking precautions. That’s why we make you leave as quickly as possible, for your sake.”
As I realized we were halfway home, I became anxious, wondering how long he would stay with me, so I changed the subject. “Will I see you again?”
“As your guardian angel, I can come to you if you are in danger. I don’t want to scare you, but you need to know the truth. They are after you for some reason, and we suspect the only reason is that you had contact with us. They can sense you easily now since you’ve been touched by an angel, thanks to Davin.”
I turned slightly to smell myself. I wondered how I smelled to him. He chuckled loudly as he noticed what I was doing. “No, not like smelling you,” he said laughing. “Let me try to explain. Humans have five senses, some maybe six. Angels have a lot more, and some more than others. Just like humans, we were not created to have the same talents.”
“Wow,” I said, as I recalled the miracles I had witnessed. Julia putting me under her spell, turning herself from a fog-like creature into a snake, Michael knowing the combination to my lock, Caleb putting the storage room back the way it was, and their overall speed and strength. I was sure I had only seen a glimpse of what they were capable of doing.
Then “touched by an angel” came to mind. When Davin held me at the Crossroads to make me feel better, he whispered in my ear that he would be in a whole lot of trouble for what he was doing. And I remembered that there was a light glowing, surrounding us, which instantly calmed my nerves. Now I knew what Michael meant by being touched by an angel.
I had already asked him so many questions and began to wonder if he was getting tired of answering them. He didn’t give me any hint that he wanted me to stop, so I continued. “Can I ask you another question?” I asked politely.
“Sure. Ask away. I’ve got all night, I think.” His brow was angled, his eyes uncertain, not really knowing how long he could safely stay on Earth.
“I was wondering if the fallen has a leader or someone they report to.”
He held a steady gaze into my eyes and whispered, “The devil.”
In sheer panic, my heart started racing, and I couldn’t keep up. Either Michael realized how fast my heart was beating, or fear was clearly written all over my face. He placed one hand on my cheek and gave me a serious look. “I’m so sorry. I was just joking,” he said seriously, trying to hold back a grin.
Initially, I was in shock that he could joke around like this. Then I couldn’t believe he was touching my face so tenderly the way he did. Afterward, I gave him a hard stare.
“Sorry,” he said again, smiling innocently.
At times like this, it was easy to forget that he was not human. Regardless, I couldn’t resist his smile. I let out a nervous laugh because anyone would be better than the devil. He put his hand down, and we started walking again.
“His name is Aden,” Michael said gravely.
“Aden,” I repeated. It wasn’t the name itself that frightened me, just knowing that someone that evil had a name gave me the creeps.
“Have you ever seen him before?”
“Yes. He was one of the Twelve Angels. Aden was reassigned to Halo City just like Phillip, Margaret, and Agnes. But he rebelled. He believed we should be allowed to live freely among humans. So he started a war with the other angels. Because of this, his soul was stripped by the Royal Council. He may as well be the devil himself. But this happened ages ago. You don’t need to worry about him. When angels lose their souls, their powers weaken.”
As he said his last words, we approached the front of my house. I couldn’t believe we were there already, and I had no recollection of how we had gotten there.
“Here we are,” he said and set my bike adjacent to the door. Then he reached for the doorknob.
My eyes followed his hand and I wondered how he was going to open the front door. He turned the knob and pushed it open. I knew my mom would never leave the door unlocked, and he didn’t use a key. I continued to stare at the door, wondering how it was possible, and looked up at him when he spoke.
“How are you feeling? I know it is too much to take.”
“No.” I nodded, looking down. I didn’t want him to perceive me as a helpless human, but the truth was that it was a lot for me to take in. Even in my wildest dreams, I couldn’t have imagined that I had a real guardian angel who was keeping me safe from the fallen. It was a nightmare.
“Then why are you shaking?” he asked, concerned.
“It’s a bit chilly,” I replied, not realizing I was shivering. It was partly from the cold and partly from my body reacting to how I was really feeling—terrified.
“I’m so sorry,” he said, while holding me tightly with both arms. Then he rubbed my back and my arms. I couldn’t believe I was in his arms again. I didn’t know if he was going to leave me, so I had to think fast. The only reason he would stay is if I were afraid.
I looked up at him helplessly and said, “Yes, I’m afraid.” Feeling ashamed for premeditating, I glued my eyes to the floor. I wasn’t totally lying because I should be deathly afraid, although his presence gave me peace and comfort.
“Let’s go inside and get you out of the cold. I’ll wait until your mother comes home. Would that help?”
I nodded happily, suppressing a big grin as we walked in. It was a bit uncomfortable leading him toward my bedroom, but at the same time, I was feeling electrified. It didn’t take me long to get ready for bed, and he was staring out the window the whole time. He didn’t utter a word, and I didn’t ask him a single question. His back was still toward me as I got into bed. I wondered what he was thinking about.
“Penny for your thoughts,” I said cheerfully, trying to get his attention.
He turned to face me, still deep in thought. “I don’t need any of your pennies, but you would go broke.”
“That many?” I asked. I was hoping he would open up and tell me what he was thinking about, but he just stood there staring at me. Feeling uncomfortable, I asked, “Can I ask you a question?”
“No more questions. Lie down and go to sleep,” he ordered.
He didn’t sound friendly, and I was beginning to think that he didn’t want to be here. I didn’t move. I sat on my bed and glanced at him. He just stood by the window, with arms crossed, and stared back at me. He appeared to be looking straight through me, perhaps, searching for words.
He sighed heavily and finally said, “Life is so unfair, even for us. Sometimes the unfairness hits hard, like a ton of bricks. Sometimes, I wish I could be human and experience life again. I feel like we are being punished for who we are.”
I felt horrible. His words struck right through my heart. He took a deep breath again and gave me a look as if he was about to confess. “All of this, it’s my fault,” he said, then looked away.
I was confused. What could this beautiful angel possibly have done to look so distraught that he felt like he had to confess to a human?
He continued. “I, alone, have put you in danger. If I had the will to just let you be, then you would not be in this position.”
I gave him a puzzled look.
“You don’t remember all the times you visited the Crossroads before, do you?
“No,” I said, shaking my head. I felt confused and frustrated as I tried to remember how many times I dreamt about being there.
“Let me explain. You were just a child when I first saw you at the Crossroads. You only stayed there for a very short time, and you would disappear without warning. Periodically, you would reappear. And no matter how many times you visited, you always looked lost and confused. As I watched you grow up, I wanted to reach out to you, but I couldn’t. I didn’t tell anyone about you. I watched you from the other side, protecting you so you wouldn’t be found. Somehow you entered the realms of our world while following Margaret.
“The first time you tried to enter by yourself, I should have let you be, and you would have just disappeared, but I let you in. It was me. I was being selfish. You made me feel things I didn’t know I could feel. I didn’t want you to leave, and when I knew you were about to give up, I stopped you from leaving. Now these evil beings won’t leave you alone.” He turned his back to me again.
I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Although I had feelings for him, I was overcome by the thought that he could have those same feelings for me. He was an alkin. We would be impossible, but something inside me didn’t care. Even if it meant that we could only be together for a short time, it was better than never being with him.
He continued. “Phillip asked me to be your guardian angel to look after you, not to complicate things. He trusted me to not let my human emotions get in the way. I told him I wasn’t ready, but I don’t blame him. He didn’t know that I had seen you before. He didn’t know that I had feelings…I mean…these human emotions are too powerful, and I don’t know if I can control myself,” he said, looking down ashamedly. “The Royal Council took away my memories of life on Earth. They should have erased my emotions as well. Then I would just feel nothing. Training to be more like an angel than a human is nearly impossible when you already have these feelings. How do they expect us to…? These temptations…we’re half human.”
I knew what he meant because I felt them too. In the midst of knowing that he actually cared about me more than a guardian angel should, I lost all sense of reasoning and blurted, “I’m glad you stopped me, and I don’t care about the fallen!”
His response was not what I had expected. “You don’t know what you are talking about. You almost got killed.”
I was overwhelmed by all this. My head was spinning out of control. Feeling frustrated and struggling for the right words, I started to cry. As he saw the first drop of tears, he dashed toward me, wiped the tears off my face, and struggled to find a way to comfort me.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he said over and over again.
It should have made me stop, and I should have tried harder to control myself, but I couldn’t, nor did I try. I cried even harder: I cried for his pain, I cried for my pain, I cried for the frustration and the unfairness of life. All of these thoughts circulated through my head. Suddenly I was lifted from my bed. He held me tenderly while my head lay contentedly on his shoulder. My sobbing softened as I tried to control the lingering, small gasps of air when I realized I was in his arms.
As he held me tighter, we stood there, our bodies melting perfectly into one. I could see a low beam of light projecting around us. It felt so warm and pleasant. I felt a sense of belonging I had never felt before. I had known him for such a short time, yet I felt like I had known him all my life. Both of us held on, not wanting to let go. Now we were cheek to cheek, my face rubbing against his affectionately, as one teardrop found its way to the ground.
The relentless thumping of my heart made me breathless. Butterflies in my stomach were fluttering a hundred times faster. I was panting with thirst—thirst for his love, and thirst for his kiss. As his lips started to inch toward mine, a sensational feeling shot through my veins from head to toe; I wanted so much to kiss him.
I couldn’t believe what was about to happen. We both knew it was wrong, yet it was undeniably what we wanted. I could feel his breath on my lips. I could almost taste his sweetness. Then he stopped. He leaned his forehead onto mine and let out a frustrated heavy sigh.
“Thou shall not touch,” he muttered. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. Please forgive me. It won’t happen again.” He was serious and sorrowful.
Realizing what could have just happened, he sat at the head of the bed and lay me down next to him. Both of us were silent and still, catching our breaths. Forgive him? There was nothing to forgive. I wanted him just as much, if not more. The tone of his voice made my heart ache, and I realized I needed to be cautious of my own actions and lead him not into temptation. But I didn’t know if that was possible. Every time I was around him, I was overflowing with happiness, and it was hard to control my desire for him.