Gods and Mortals: Fourteen Free Urban Fantasy & Paranormal Novels Featuring Thor, Loki, Greek Gods, Native American Spirits, Vampires, Werewolves, & More (164 page)

Without warning, I felt an arm around me. It was John, dressed in his usual T-shirt and jeans. I looked up at him and noticed that his hair looked two-toned under the sun, brown with lighter highlights. He gave me a half smile, and I could feel his uncertainty through his body language. It was almost as if he wasn’t sure whether his closeness was appropriate at this given time. After a few seconds, he finally spoke.

“Hey, Claudia, are you okay?”

“I think so. I’m not sure. I don’t know how I feel right now. It’s like a dream. Did it really happen?”

“Yeah,” he said, as he tucked his hands into his pockets. I could tell he felt nervous because he changed the subject. “So where are we going for lunch?” He tried to sound cheerful.

“I don’t feel like going today,” I said in a monotone as I stared into space.

“Sure, I understand,” he agreed, though he sounded disappointed.

There was an uncomfortable silence, which was unusual because John and I could talk about anything. None of us knew what to say as we stood next to each other. I was beginning to wonder how long we would just stand there when Marie broke the silence. “Come on, we’re gonna be late for Mass,” she said.

Inside, I felt overwhelmed with guilt and shame. I stared at the cross. I wasn’t paying attention during Mass. In fact, I couldn’t even recall if I placed an envelope into the donation basket. All I could think about was how I would never see Claudia again. I vaguely heard Father Roy speaking about the tragedy of Claudia’s death, but all I could do was to dwell on the last hug I hadn’t given or received. The strangest part was that I couldn’t even cry. I felt no emotion. Wasn’t I supposed to cry when someone I cared about passed away? Why wasn’t I crying? I was always good at hiding my feelings, but this was impressive. Perhaps this numbness would carry over and get me through the funeral.

I
t had been
a week since my friend passed away. As much as I wanted her death to be just a dream, burying her was a reminder that it wasn’t. Dreadfully, I looked inside my closet to look for something appropriate to wear. There wasn’t much to choose from. My wardrobe consisted basically of jeans and T-shirts. Besides, it’s not like I would have a funeral outfit just hanging there. It’s something you don’t expect to prepare for at such a young age, especially for a friend’s funeral.

After fruitless searching, I finally found black slacks and a black button-down blouse. I couldn’t remember when I bought these, but they were good enough. Maybe I should have gone out to buy something, but shopping for clothes to wear to a funeral seemed too morbid.

When we arrived at St. Thomas, Mom, Gamma, and I slowly walked down the aisle toward the front together. After we found a place to sit, I looked around. Looking out into an entire congregation of nothing but black attire overwhelmed me with sadness so I glanced upward. The sun’s rays captured each color so vividly, illuminating a dazzling brilliance of light. Every color of the spectrum could be seen throughout the church. At the front, one could clearly see Jesus on the wooden cross. The cross was enormous and hung directly over the altar, which was made of light gray marble and stood as the focal point. I was mesmerized by the colorful stained-glass windows, The Stations of the Cross to be more accurate, portraying the stages of Jesus’ life.

This was a special church. This was where all of our adventures began: the retreats, gatherings, and lifelong bonding between friends. It didn’t matter if you were rich, poor, or had a different color skin. Anyone who attended St. Thomas found a way to make lasting friendships. I clearly remembered the first day Claudia and I became friends. It was an amusing moment for her and a dimwitted one for me. I smiled as I recalled the conversation that made us simultaneously laugh like silly schoolgirls. I had asked her what kind of jeans she was wearing because I thought they looked cute. She simply replied, “Guess.”

So I did! I was a little bit scatterbrained since there were so many types of jeans, so I randomly picked a brand name. “Are they Gap?”

She responded back with a smile, “No, Guess.”

I really didn’t want to guess because I was not at all into that fashion stuff. Besides, I was a little annoyed that Claudia was finding this entertaining.

“Claudia, could you just tell me? I don’t know too many brand names.”

She replied, laughing hysterically, “You are so cute and naïve. Guess is a brand name.”

I started laughing uncontrollably with her at this point, laughing at myself because all that time I thought she wanted me to “guess” the brand name of her jeans. That was all it took. Just like that, we became best friends.

My attention shifted to below the altar, and that’s when I noticed a picture of my friend. It must have been her senior portrait. She was smiling, her hair flawless, and a look of contentment was on her face. This was the face I would never see again, one whose life was taken so abruptly by a drunk driver. Would I remember this face in years to come? How I wished that I could have exchanged some comforting words with her last week. I’m so sorry, I said to myself, as if she could hear me.

At that moment, the shock of her death disappeared, and reality settled in. My friend was gone forever, and I would never see her again. Tears started flowing down my cheeks, one after another. I had no control now. No matter how much I tried to hold back the tears and no matter how many deep breaths I took, tears were streaming down my face.

Stop crying. Stop crying, I commanded myself, but nothing seemed to work. I tried to fight back the tears, but that made the heartache heavier and more painful, as if I had been stabbed in my heart. The pain of her loss cut so deep, and I didn’t know how I could say good-bye. It was worse than anything I had ever endured. Would I ever forget this pain?

What came next was a sight I had not prepared myself for—Claudia’s mom. To be in the presence of a grieving mother was heart wrenching. Watching her mourn the daughter she loved, knowing she would never see her graduate high school or college, fall in love and get married, or have a child of her own to love the way she so loved her Claudia, made me cringe and tremble. Looking at the father who would never walk his daughter down the aisle and the sister who no longer had a confidant broke my heart, and I began to sob. My tears were no longer just for Claudia, but for the family she had left behind.

The pain had overtaken me, and I was gasping for air. My throat felt irritatingly dry, and my heart was beating too quickly for me to catch my breath. Just when I thought I was going to faint, I felt a warm body next to me. It was Patty. She had managed to slip in between Mom and me. As our eyes met, I saw her teary eyes. She simply took my hand and squeezed it to show me she was there for me. We didn’t need to exchange a single word. Her sole presence made me feel better, and having Gamma, Mom, and Patty next to me gave me comfort beyond words.

After the funeral Mass, we all went to the burial site. Patty had to leave for work, so I stood next to Mom, Gamma, and my friends. I’d lost some of the comfort when Patty left, but I was thankful that she had even come at all. I knew she had come for one reason only, and that was to be there for me.

Saying good-bye to someone you love is hard enough to do. Having to watch them being lowered into the ground into what is basically a glorified box is excruciatingly painful. I couldn’t say that I understood why some felt the need to witness this. A marker on the grass was all that was left of this dark and miserable day. Everyone was sobbing uncontrollably as we consoled each other. There was a brief moment of solace as we stood together united by grief, aching with agony. I didn’t want to say good-bye, but I had no choice. Her family had no choice. Life would have to go on, and somehow they would find a way to cope with their loss.

Then I thought, if they had left for the dance just a little later or a little earlier, she would still be alive. I was raised through faith, believing in a higher power, knowing that all things happen for a reason beyond our control or ability to understand. Had they been at the wrong place at the wrong time? Or perhaps they were at the right place at the right time? I could only comfort myself by thinking that it was meant to be. It was her destiny to pass on to another world.

With these thoughts, I looked up to see the most perfect blue sky with beautiful fluffy white clouds. How I wanted to touch them. Then suddenly, I saw a hint of the sun’s rays peeking out through the clouds. For a split second, it radiated down to where Claudia was buried, and then it was gone. Afterward, I saw the most vibrant butterflies fluttering around, disappearing almost as quickly as they had appeared. How odd. Had anyone else witnessed what I had just seen? I felt shivers running down my spine. I imagined her soul being carried away, the light acting as her guide. It was a beautiful sight in contrast to this sadness. In that instant, I knew Claudia’s soul had gone to a peaceful place.

Claudia’s death and the funeral took a toll on my body for the next couple of days. It was still difficult to come to terms with the fact that she was really gone and that I would never see her again. Did she suffer? What were her last thoughts? As these thoughts ran through my mind I fell asleep, only to dream again.

I was walking aimlessly and came across my elementary classroom. I hesitated to open the door, afraid to see what or who would appear in the classroom. Behind the door wasn’t a classroom, but remarkably the biggest church I had ever seen. The strangest part was that I couldn’t make out the back of the church. The rows of pews went as far as I could see, and there were no other doors.

As I looked around, I saw many children, ranging in ages, laughing and having fun. Either they didn’t notice my presence, or they were simply ignoring me. Unexpectedly, I saw her from a distance, smiling at me. She motioned for me to come to her. I walked toward her, noting how her pale skin glistened from the sunlight that was projecting through the windows high above. How beautifully serene her face looked, like an angel, just the way I remembered it to be the last time I saw her. But Claudia was dead, and yet I could see her as plain as day. Was I dead too? This was the second time I questioned myself. How was this possible?

“Claudia, is it really you?” I asked, uncertain of what was going on.

“Yes, it’s really me, and it’s so good to see you. I wanted to see you one last time,” she said, smiling.

As she placed her arms around me, I embraced her as tightly as I could. I don’t know how long we stood there, but I didn’t want to let her go. It felt as if I would be burying her all over again if I did. I was given this moment, and I knew that once we let go, she would disappear forever.

She whispered into my ear, “Good-bye, my friend.”

Tears began gushing down my cheeks. She had known the burden I was carrying inside of me, how heavy my heart had been, not being able to give her that last hug before the accident. Please don’t leave, was all that I could make out in my mind. Let me hold on to this moment a little bit longer, please! But just like that, she was gone.

I woke up bawling, with a tremendous ache in my chest. It was hard to open my eyes because the tears wouldn’t stop. My whole face felt swollen. I knew it was a dream, but the pain was real. I finally managed to control my sobs so I could try to remember the full details of my dream, but the only part I was able to remember with any clarity was giving Claudia that final hug. A hug so real, it lifted the heavy brick from my chest. I wiped the last tears away, and with that came the realization that Claudia’s hug had given me peace and comfort.

For the next several days, I replayed the dream over and over again in my head. I wanted to hang on to the memories of her being happy, rather than the memories of her tragic death. Thoughts rambled through my mind: Does such a place exist? Was it just a dream? Or did she visit me in her spiritual form? I vaguely recalled a conversation I had overheard that said if a person who passed on appears in your dreams, they were visiting you in some spiritual way. It was their only way to get in touch without frightening their loved ones. I knew dying was inevitable, part of the circle of life, but the big question was, what happens when you die? Do you float out and away from your body? Do you see lights? Is someone waiting for you to guide you in the right direction?

Some people believe in a place called Heaven, a home where your soul goes after life here on Earth ends. I often wondered what Heaven was like. Were our loved ones somewhere out there, looking down on us? What was the meaning of life, and did everyone feel the same way as me?

Besides Heaven, I was also captivated by the uncertain existence of angels, glorious, mysterious and powerful beings. As a young girl, with many years of Sunday school behind me, I learned that angels may appear as guardians, messengers, or avengers. By their own free will they had been divided—good angels and bad. The bad angels had cut themselves off from their Creator, consumed by jealousy and a desire to be powerful like Him, superior above all else.

That night, as I lay in bed thinking idly about angels, I thought about what they would look like. What was their purpose? Did they really exist? As I pondered these questions, I started singing, “Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high, there’s a land that I heard of, once in a lullaby…” Unable to finish, I drifted off to sleep.

I
was back
on the same dirt road, only this time I wasn’t running. Oddly, everything looked familiar. Feeling a bit anxious, wondering if she would appear again, I began to walk cautiously. I was wondering why I was here again. Is it possible to dream about the same place? While contemplating this question, I tried to find an opening through the field. Using my hands as tools, I pushed and shoved every which way that would allow me to break through the blades of grass. No matter how much I pushed, all I could see was a vast wall of grassland. Feeling defeated, I thought I would try one last time. That’s when he appeared.

“Don’t you ever give up?” he said in the most hypnotic voice, appearing to be slightly amused by my efforts.

“Umm…,” I said, stunned to see a face looking back at me. I stared at the most perfect, glorious face. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. As his eyes pierced into mine, he stepped in my direction. I had no other choice but to walk backward, feeling intimidated, yet compliant of his authority. I wanted to look away, but I was deeply lost in his eyes. My heart was pounding, wondering what this guy could be doing in my dream.

He certainly fit the description of how I had envisioned the man of my dreams. He was at least six feet tall, with dark brown hair and deep warm brown eyes that were so inviting. He was lean and extraordinarily muscular, and his skin appeared to be made of satin. My heart was melting. It felt sinful admiring him this way. I wondered if he could hear my thoughts or feel my heart racing as he stared back at me. I began to feel my face become warm with embarrassment at the thought. Time seemed to stop as we stared into each other’s eyes. No need for words, just alone in each other’s thoughts. How I wondered what his were!

The tension broke when he spoke to me again. “What are you doing here? Do you want to be sent back like before?”

Hearing his velvety voice again gave me goose bumps all over my body. Send me back like before? I repeated his question in my head. I was confused. Then it dawned on me; it was his voice I had heard in my last dream. Although I felt frustrated and angered by his comments, I needed to stay calm.

“First of all, who are you? And what are you doing in my dream?” I tried to sound composed.

“Your dream? You think this is a dream? Think again,” he said with a condescending tone.

Confusion began to fill my head, and I was angered again by his unfriendly remark. I wanted to yell at him for being so rude, but all I could do was stare at his stunning face. He was so attractive that I couldn’t stop staring. Then he said, “Can’t think fast enough? The answer is not on my face.”

I looked away quickly and dropped my jaw. I couldn’t believe he had just said that to me. My face flushed with embarrassment and anger. Was it that obvious that I was staring at him? I had to think fast and say something intelligent, but I was so infuriated that I couldn’t think of anything to say. I calmed myself and looked at him again to speak, “I am dreaming, and you are not real.”

“I’m real. There is no doubt about that. And you may think you are dreaming, but you are actually at the Crossroads, somewhere between Heaven and Earth, or between life and death, whichever you prefer.”

He was so matter of fact, like he was telling somebody for the hundredth time. But his words were significant. I felt a chill run up my spine. Who was he trying to scare? How dare he lie to me!

“That’s not true!” I began to argue. “There is no such thing, and this is my dream…perhaps a nightmare after meeting you!”

Apparently that was not the response he had anticipated. His cold stare was enough to make me wish I could take it back. “I see. Perhaps I’ll just disappear.”

“No! Please! Wait! Don’t go. I don’t understand what is happening. Could you at least tell me how I got here?”

He arched his brows. “If you don’t know, how am I supposed to know?”

“Well, I thought…I thought because you seem to live here?” I was hesitant to say those words because I wasn’t sure.

“Don’t assume anything!” he said sharply.

I was perplexed by his coldness. What a jerk! I didn’t want to talk to him anymore, but I needed answers. “Is there anyone else I can talk to that may give me some answers? Perhaps someone…nicer?” Now I was being rude, but he had been rude to me first.

He hesitated to answer, looked away, and responded sternly, “No. There is no one else here.”

“Really?” I fired back, vaguely remembering the lady I saw the last time I dreamt about this place. “You’re telling me that you are the only one who lives here or…or whatever the reason…by yourself…absolutely alone.” I was so furious that I mumbled my words. I didn’t know if I made sense.

“I don’t need to tell you anything, but if you must know, my answer is still the same.” He paused a few seconds and spoke again with a smirk, “Labera lege.”

“Excuse me?” I asked, wondering if I had heard correctly. Why was he speaking Latin? Was he playing games with me? I was boiling with rage.

He looked at me squarely in the eye. “Let me repeat what I said in simple language: read...my…lips,” he said softly. “That’s what I said.”

So I did, thinking he was going to tell me something important.

“No, nobody else here,” he said slowly and sarcastically.

I couldn’t believe he just did that to me, but I didn’t believe his answer. “You’re unbelievable!” I shot back.

“I know I am,” he said matter-of-factly.

“I didn’t mean it in a good way!” I said coldly, wanting to burst his ego.

“I did,” he said with his chin held up high.

Now he was just being egotistical, but all I could do was stare at his smooth kissable lips. Stop! I told myself. What was the matter with me? Why was I having these thoughts? I started pacing back and forth, and out of frustration, I yelled, “Ahhh! You are just…just…just…” I was lost for words again.

As I was having my little tantrum, he looked away. Then I thought, Maybe he is telling me the truth. Maybe there is no one else who can help me. Suddenly, a feeling of loneliness began to penetrate. I didn’t know what I was doing here or what the significance of this guy in my dream could be.

I felt his stare from the corner of my eyes and as if he sensed my frustration, he asked in a calmer tone, “Do you have any idea why you are here?”

“No, I don’t know why I’m here or how I got here…and you don’t know why I’m here. So what do I do?” My voice trembled as fear set in. I became desperate for answers.

“Since I have no answers for you, perhaps you should go back.” His tone was flat.

Had he not heard anything I said? Now I was beyond irritated with him. He wanted me to go back, and I didn’t even know how I had gotten here in the first place. For a man who was so pleasing to the eyes, I began to think what a shame it was that he didn’t have a friendlier disposition. Besides, this was my dream. I wasn’t about to go back. In part, I couldn’t go back. I didn’t know how. He started walking through the field, and I had to make a choice. What would become of me if I stayed? What would happen if I followed? So I followed after him into the unknown.

Unexpectedly, he swiftly turned to me and said, “You shouldn’t follow me, and you shouldn’t be here. I don’t care how you get back, but it’s too dangerous here and humans are not allowed. You must go. Do you understand?”

I was about to give it to him with my words, but his warning had frightened me. If I was human, what was he? Reluctantly I nodded yes, but I really didn’t understand. Who was this guy? Why was he here if not to help me? When he noticed that I stood motionless, he said, “You give me no choice.” Then he shouted, “Davin, I know you’re listening! Get her out now!”

Before I even had a chance to stop him, I woke up back in my bed. What the heck! The dream was so bizarre. I was extremely confused, and I didn’t know if there was a rhyme or reason for any of it. It seemed so real, but clearly it had all been a dream.

A smile crossed my lips as I vividly recalled the man I saw. I couldn’t forget his face. The curvature of his jaw, his smooth brown hair, and those eyes, so inviting—I could have stared at him forever. His voice was so intoxicating. It was distinct. I could hear it repeatedly telling me that I needed to leave. But why, I wondered. Then I thought about his lack of people skills, and I felt really annoyed with him. Oh, forget it, he’s not even real. It was just a dream, I thought to myself as I looked at the clock.

“Oh, shoot.” I dashed out of bed when I realized I would be late for school if I didn’t hurry. Almost falling flat on my face putting on my jeans, I promised myself that this wouldn’t happen again. I hated being late, especially for school.

As I entered my English class, the second bell rang. Everyone was already seated, and I noticed Kristina looking at me. Her seat was two rows to the right of me.

“Hi,” I whispered, and collapsed on my hard wooden seat, letting out a heavy sigh.

“You okay?” she whispered.

“A long story, I’ll tell you later,” I whispered back. But there was nothing to tell because it was just a dream. How silly it would be for me to even repeat any of it. I reached into my backpack to take out my book. Then I realized I had forgotten to bring my lunch. Great! Now what? Forced to eat the nasty cafeteria food. That’s just great! That’s what I get for daydreaming about an imaginary guy. Without realizing it, I slid down further into my seat, but sat up quickly when Mr. Moore looked my way, giving me that “pay attention” look.

It was extremely difficult to concentrate in class. I kept thinking about my dream, even though I told myself that I wouldn’t. Periodically, a blurred vision of his face would pop up. If only he had been nice, it would have been a perfect dream. Then out of the blue, I remembered his comment about me being a human. Wasn’t he human too? It just didn’t make any sense. My friend Kristina thought I was coming down with the flu from the way I looked. Not only was I exhausted, but also deep in thought, and I was walking around like a zombie.

“Are you okay, Claudia?” Kristina asked after school. “You look like you’re half asleep.”

“I’m just sooo pooped,” I said as I lay my head on her shoulder for a second. “I don’t understand.” I yawned. “I slept last night, I think. Why do I feel like I didn’t sleep a wink? Maybe I am coming down with something. Ahhhh…” I yawned again.

“Well, try not to get sick. Ryan’s eighteenth birthday party is four weeks from Saturday.”

“That’s a month away. I have time to get sick,” I said jokingly. “Counting down till the party?” I asked, nudging her on the shoulder.

“Heck, yeah! It’s at the Grand View Hotel. Who has a birthday party at the Grand View Hotel? For a wedding, I would understand. It’s a five-star hotel. I heard he invited practically the whole senior class. Can you imagine how much the whole thing would cost? I guess if my parents were rich like his, I would have it there too. But you already knew that.

“I only dated him for six months,” I said, implying that I didn’t know much about him.

“You got the Evite, didn’t you? I mean, you did break his heart, and I didn’t know if he would invite you,” she said, her eyes uncertain.

“I got the Evite. Don’t worry. Anyway, we’re friends. Party at the Grand View Hotel…that’s one party I wouldn’t miss…though I really don’t know how to dress cocktail,” I said.

“Good. I’ll tell Maggie you’re going. We were debating whether you would go or not ’cause…you know,” she said, with a raised eyebrow.

“Talking behind my back,” I teased.

“Always,” she said with a smile.

“No wonder my ears were burning,” I said.

“Your ears will be more than burning if you back out,” she said in a half serious, half teasing tone.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be there even if I’m sick,” I said as I closed my eyes, hoping that it would be just enough for my eyes to rest before I opened them up again. Then I yawned.

“Okay then. Now that we got that straightened out, see ya tomorrow,” she said as she yawned. “Stop yawning, you’re making me yawn,” she scolded playfully.

We both laughed. “Same time, same place,” I said, waving good-bye and walking away.

“Don’t forget to RSVP!” I heard her shout from a distance.

“It’s a month away,” I murmured under my breath, knowing it was pointless to say it out loud since I could no longer see her.

Ryan was my first boyfriend, the first guy I had held hands with and the first guy I had kissed. He was tall, good-looking, and mega-rich. Any girl would have loved to be in my shoes—except for Patty. She thought he wasn’t good enough for me. I told her that she needed to get to know him better, and that being rich didn’t automatically make him a snob. But I guess that wasn’t the reason she disliked him, and I didn’t see him the same way. She had more experience with boys than I did, so I figured she had her reasons. But I continued to date him anyway.

We started having problems when Ryan started getting more serious. Not only was I not ready to move forward, I had also realized that he didn’t make me feel the way a girl should feel when she’s in love. Like how the guy in my dream made me feel, I thought unexpectedly. I quivered from the sudden feeling I experienced, the fluttering butterflies everywhere, like when I first looked into his eyes. I had never believed in love at first sight, maybe I did now, even with his bad manners and all. I wasn’t sure what it was that I felt, but I knew it was something I had never felt before. Regardless, it didn’t matter because it was just a dream, after all. These feelings confirmed that breaking up with Ryan was the right thing to do. It was best for both of us.

After school, I headed straight for the refrigerator. I grabbed something to snack on, and sure enough, there it was. The note read, “Working late tonight, left dinner in the fridge.” Mom never failed to leave me a note letting me know whether she’d be working late or not. Home alone, I thought. It never used to bother me, but for some reason, it did tonight. I couldn’t quite put my finger on the reason why, but I was guessing it had something to do with the dream I had last night.

All was quiet in the house, until the sound of my cell phone made me jump. The caller ID read Lucy Reed. Lucy Reed was Gamma’s real name, but as a toddler I was unable to say “Grandma”, so she became Gamma to me.