Authors: Janet Evanovich [~amp]#38; Charlotte Hughes
“Annie, would you get to the point? I’m an old man. I could pass on before you finish your story.”
“You saw Donna Schaefer arrive at my house and then run out later. So you went over to investigate. Am I getting it right so far?”
Doc remained silent.
“You found Charles lying on the floor unconscious. You never liked Charles. You knew he had been cheating on me for some time, didn’t you? Danny probably told you. You thought Charles was no better than an old tomcat. So there he was, lying there, helpless and unconscious. You went into the living room and got a pillow and—”
“No,” Doc said, indignant. “What kind of person do you take me for? A coldhearted killer?” he asked. “Is that what you think?”
“Then tell me.”
Doc pulled off his glasses, rubbed his eyes, and blinked several times. He stared straight ahead for a moment. “That’s not the way it happened, Annie. Not at all.” He sighed heavily.
“You’re right about me sitting in my lawn chair. I sat in it until it was dark, then realized I was getting hungry. Before I could get up, I saw this woman pull up in her car and go into your house. The lights flashed on in your bedroom, and I could hear them arguing. The woman started yelling and carrying on something awful. Finally, I got enough of it and started for my back porch. Then I heard her scream, and she came tearing out of the house like the wrath of God was after her. I could hear her sobbing. She got into her car and left.”
Once again Doc became quiet, as though he had slipped into another place. Annie sat quietly and waited. She heard a sound from the next room, saw a shadow. Saw Wes.
“I didn’t go over right away,” Doc finally said. “I thought of calling the police but decided against it. I came inside the house and cleaned up. Made myself a sandwich. When I went back out I noticed the back door was standing open, and I wondered why Charles had not closed it. So I walked on over.
“I found him lying at the bottom of the stairs. I knelt beside him, and he opened his eyes. I asked him if he was in pain. He said his neck was hurting him real bad, said he’d heard it snap and was afraid he’d broken it. I told him not to move.” Doc paused and looked at Annie.
“See, I know about neck injuries and what they can do to a person. I had a friend who spent twenty years in a wheelchair begging to die. Twenty years is a long time to wait to die, Annie. I told Charles to rest, that I’d look after him. He closed his eyes, and I went into the next room for the pillow. I had no other choice but to put him down.”
Wes stepped into the room and went to Annie. Doc didn’t seem surprised; he didn’t even look up. He just stared at the blank TV screen, the wrinkles more prominent on his tired face.
Wes slipped his arms around Annie’s waist. “You okay?”
She nodded. “How did you know to come here?”
“Stuff just started falling into place in my head today,” he said. “When I saw your number come up on my phone, I knew you needed me.”
She leaned against him. “Thank you.”
Wes held her for a moment longer before releasing her. “You look exhausted, and tomorrow is the big day. Go home and get some sleep. I’ll stay with Doc.”
Annie nodded. She could not remember ever feeling so tired, and she knew whatever Wes decided to do, it would be the right thing. She stood.
Doc looked up. “I want you to know something, Annie. I
need
you to know. I would never have allowed you to go to prison for something I’d done.”
She nodded. “I know.” She touched his shoulder on her way out.
Annie and Jamie both held their breath and watched Fleas amble up the aisle in the large meeting room that had been decorated and turned into a wedding chapel of sorts, complete with a festooned arbor. Fleas wore a special collar that was adorned with white tea roses and baby’s breath. As Annie had suspected would happen, some of the wedding guests raised an eyebrow as others chuckled or laughed out loud. Fleas paused halfway, turned, and looked at Jamie, who prodded him on with a single nod. He made his way toward the altar and sat, and Jamie grinned. Max looked proud. The minister simply gazed down at the dog as though he didn’t know quite what to make of the whole thing. In the front row, Vera shook her head sadly.
Annie turned to Dee Dee, stunning in a kelly green sheath of raw silk. Diamonds and emeralds adorned her ears and throat and flashed each time she moved. Annie was almost certain the guests would not notice Dee Dee’s ballerina-style bedroom slippers. “Okay, Dee Dee, you’re up,” she said.
Dee Dee put on a bright smile and took two graceful steps before she jerked to a halt and clutched her stomach. “Uh-oh!” She turned, her eyes wide in disbelief, her mouth forming a giant
O
.
Annie and Jamie gaped at Dee Dee’s stained bedroom slippers, then at each other.
Nearby, Beenie covered his face with his hands. “I knew she’d wait until the most inopportune moment.”
Annie motioned for Lovelle, who grasped Dee Dee’s hand. “Come with me, hon,” she said.
“But who’s going to be matron of honor?” Dee Dee asked.
Jamie looked at Annie. As if reading her mind, Annie shook her head. “I’m wearing a uniform.” Her black skirt and starched white blouse matched the outfits her two assistants wore.
“You’ll have to go,” Dee Dee told Beenie, who wore a winter white tux.
“Me!” he cried. “I don’t know anything about—”
Dee Dee shoved her bouquet at him and gave him a hard push through the double doors.
Beenie struck a pose and started up the aisle on his tiptoes, pausing and smiling at the guests as he literally floated toward the front like a swan.
Jamie did an eye roll. This could only happen at
her
wedding.
“I’m sorry,” Dee Dee said to Jamie. “When you get a chance, please tell Frankie I need to go to the hospital.” Lovelle quickly ushered her away.
“Time to go,” Annie said, releasing her hold on Jamie’s elbow as the guests stood and waited for the bride. Annie had never seen a lovelier bride. Beenie had outdone himself on Jamie’s hair and makeup, tucking tiny sprigs of baby’s breath at her crown. “Don’t forget to smile.”
Jamie took a deep breath and started down the aisle. Suddenly she wasn’t so nervous. She remembered to walk slowly as Annie had taught her and smiled at the guests, nodding here and there at those she recognized. Her gaze sought and found Vera’s; the woman stood proudly on the front row, tears streaming down her face. Jamie blew her a kiss and mouthed a silent,
I love you
. Beside Vera, Billie, Christie, and Joel were all smiles. Jamie winked at them. As she neared the front, her gaze sought out Max, and the tender and loving look on his face almost stole her breath. She wondered what she had ever done to deserve him.
The crowd reclaimed their seats as Jamie took her place next to Beenie, who was doing his best to catch Frankie’s attention and cutting his eyes toward the back of the chapel. The minister cocked his head to one side as though trying to figure out what Beenie was doing there.
Sitting in the middle of the second row, Frankie arched his brows, and then, as though suddenly realizing something was amiss, the six-foot-six retired wrestler–turned–mayor stood and tried to make his way to the end of the row. “Excuse me,” he said a little too loudly as one wedding guest after another was forced to stand in order to accommodate his exit. He stepped on a woman’s foot, and she gave a yelp, even as he apologized profusely.
“Ohmigosh!” Beenie said, and nudged Jamie. “Dee Dee forgot to give me the ring.” Before Jamie could respond, he stepped closer to the minister. “Could you hold off just a second? I’ll be right back.”
Jamie watched in amazement as Beenie hurried up the aisle, only a few feet behind Frankie.
Jamie could feel Max’s eyes on her. She glanced his way and shook her head sadly as Frankie knocked loudly on the door to the bridal salon, right next to the crowded wedding chapel.
“Dee Dee, are you okay?” Frankie called out. “Open the door.”
Jamie sighed and looked straight ahead.
The door opened. “My water broke, Frankie!” Dee Dee cried. “My dress is ruined, and it took the designer weeks to find the exact match for these earrings.”
“I’m sure he wrote down the color, sweetheart,” Frankie told her, “but I can always buy you different earrings.”
“Beenie, what are
you
doing here?” Dee Dee demanded. “You’re supposed to be up front with Jamie.”
“You forgot to give me the ring!”
“Oh no!” she cried. “Here it is.”
Dee Dee suddenly shrieked loudly. Inside the chapel, the guests craned their necks in order to see what was going on.
“I think I just had my first contraction,” Dee Dee cried. “I don’t like this, Frankie! I was told there would be no pain. I did
not
agree to pain.”
“Hang on, sweetheart, I’ll carry you out to the car.”
Beenie raced up the aisle and took his place next to Jamie. “I have the ring,” he whispered.
She nodded. “Yes, we heard the entire exchange,” she said, giving him a tight smile. “Every last one of us,” she added as chuckles and muffled laughter sounded from the crowd. She glanced at Max and Nick, who were staring straight ahead. She saw their shoulders move and knew they were doing their best to keep from bursting into hearty guffaws.
“Uh-oh,” Beenie said, glancing down. “This is not good.”
Jamie followed his gaze. Fleas was half-sprawled on the floor beside her licking himself.
The minister cleared his voice, squared his shoulders, and gazed about the crowd. “What is marriage?” he asked. “To answer that question I’d like for us to ponder Scripture from the Book of Genesis.”
Jamie and Max looked at each other and shrugged.
Ten minutes later, Jamie’s eyes had glazed over, and her feet were killing her. Beside her, Beenie could not stop yawning, and Fleas had rolled onto his back and was snoring loudly.
“And so God saw that it was not right for Adam to be alone,” Tuttle continued in a droning voice, “so He put Adam into a deep sleep—”
“This guy is putting me into a deep sleep,” Beenie whispered to Annie, trying to stifle yet another yawn. “I wonder if Dee Dee’s baby has started preschool yet?”
Fleas snorted and snored.
“And God took from Adam a rib and from that rib He created woman so that Adam could have a helpmate.” Tuttle smiled. “And so I ask you again, what
is
marriage?”
Beenie’s hand shot up. Jamie pulled it down. “It’s a rhetorical question,” she whispered.
“Today, I have the honor of joining another man and another woman together, just as it was meant to be from the very beginning. But first, let us bow our heads and offer up a prayer for this very special couple.”
Annie closed her eyes and prayed Tuttle would get on with it.
The minister closed the prayer and looked from Max to Jamie. Tuttle raised his book, adjusted his glasses, and began to read. “Dearly beloved . . .”
Suddenly Max’s cell phone rang. Jamie and the minister looked incredulous.
“I’m sorry,” Max whispered. “It’s my emergency line.”
Jamie blinked rapidly. “Do you have to answer it
now
?”
“Muffin is the only one who calls this line. And only if it’s urgent.” He pushed the button. “This better be good, Muffin,” he said, and listened.
Jamie glanced over her shoulder and saw the dark frown on Vera’s face as well as the surprised looks of those surrounding her.
Max hung up. “The hospital just called the cops on Frankie.”
Jamie gasped; Nick frowned.
“Dee Dee arrived at the hospital screaming like a banshee. Frankie immediately spotted her doctor, wrestled him to the floor, and put him in a headlock. Took a half-dozen security men to pull him off,” Max added. “He’s in restraints and Dee Dee has gone ballistic.”
Jamie closed her eyes.
Max looked at Tuttle. “Could we get on with it? Jamie and I are needed elsewhere.”
“And I need to use the little boys’ room,” Beenie said.
From her place in the back row Annie covered her face with both hands. She felt ill. The wedding was not going well; in fact, whatever could go wrong
had
gone wrong. She glanced up as Wes took the chair next to her.
“Sorry I’m late,” he whispered so softly that Annie had to lean closer in order to hear. “I’ve been with Doc at the police station the entire time. Lamar wants to talk to Erdle ASAP. I told him Theenie had ordered Erdle to stay in bed because of a stomach virus.” He arched one brow. “What’s wrong? You look pale.”
“The wedding is a bust.”
His eyes softened. “I’m sorry, Red.”
“I suppose I should look on the bright side. Things can’t possibly get any worse.” Annie had barely gotten the words out of her mouth before she spotted Peaches heading down the aisle. Annie instantly froze. “Who let the cat in?” she hissed. Peaches sat down and looked around at the crowded room as though curious.
Tuttle spoke from the front. “Jamie, do you take Max to be your lawfully wedded husband? To love—”
“I do,” Jamie interrupted, causing the minister to look up in surprise.
“Quick, let me out,” Annie whispered to Wes, trying to think of a way to reach Peaches without drawing attention. If only she had food! She slipped from the row, bent her knees—no easy task in her tight black skirt—and duckwalked toward the cat. She was almost close enough to grab Peaches when all at once the animal’s ears spiked and she arched her back. Annie reached for her, but the cat slipped through her fingers and made a mad dash toward the front.
“And, Max,” Tuttle went on, “do you promise to love and cherish Jamie and place her above all others?”
“I do,” Max said, smiling tenderly at Jamie.
Fleas looked up only a split second before Peaches flew into him. The hound yelped loudly, startling those up front, who turned and stared in amazement. Fleas tried to escape, but Peaches was relentless. Flowers flew in every direction. Fleas howled and rose on his hind legs, trying to climb into Jamie’s arms. His toenails sank into the delicate fabric of her dress, causing it to rip in several places. Jamie cried out when one of his nails scratched her.
“I knew that crazy dog would mess up everything!” Vera said loudly.