Full Bloom (23 page)

“Erdle, would you please—”

“Can I just have a couple of those cookies? I haven’t eaten in a while.”

Annie sighed. “Okay, but please hurry.”

Erdle studied the tray of cookies carefully. “Eenie-meenie-miny-mo—”

“Oh, for Pete’s sake!” Theenie said. “Just grab one and be done with it.”

“Annie said I could have two.”

Annie leaned against the counter and pressed her fingers to her temples. She could feel a headache coming on, but she was determined not to lose her temper.

Erdle selected a cookie from each tray and popped one of them in his mouth. “Hey, that’s good.”

The doorbell rang. “That’s probably Jamie,” Annie said. “She’s dropping off her wedding dress.”

“I’ll get it,” Theenie said, and hurried from the room.

Erdle made for the sink as he tossed the second cookie in his mouth and chomped down. “Ouch, damn!” he said, his hand flying to his jaw. “You must have put a rock in this one.”

Annie frowned. “Huh?”

“I think I just broke a tooth on something hard.” He pointed into his open mouth.

Annie sighed. Was there no end to all the craziness? She looked in Erdle’s mouth. “Open wider,” she said. He made an unintelligible sound and his mouth widened a smidgeon. Annie caught a flash of something gold. “My ring!” she cried, causing Lovelle to jump. Peaches sprang from the chair and hid behind a plant. “Don’t swallow!”

Startled, Erdle immediately gulped, and the ring became lodged in his throat. He grabbed his neck with both hands. “Argh!” he said.

“Did you swallow it?” Annie shrieked, unaware that Theenie, Destiny, Jamie, and Vera were standing in the doorway with Fleas in tow. Peaches hissed and arched her back and then darted from behind the plant, claws bared. Fleas gave a yelp as Peaches raked one paw across his face. A howling Fleas turned and bounded from the kitchen with Peaches on his heels.

Erdle wheezed as he tried to suck in air.

“He’s choking!” Lovelle said.

Annie grabbed him from the back and immediately began performing the Heimlich on him. Lovelle reached for a tumbler of orange juice on the counter and shoved it at him.

“Don’t drink it!” Annie said.

Clearly panicked, Erdle ignored her, raising the glass to his lips and chugging. He swallowed and belched loudly.

“You swallowed it!” Annie yelled.

“Huh?” He blinked back dumbly.

She grabbed his shirt and shook him, almost causing him to drop the container of juice. “You swallowed my engagement ring!”

Theenie and Lovelle gasped.

“Spit it out!” Annie ordered, still shaking him.

“Miss Annie, stop!” he said.

“What’s going on?” Jamie asked, trying to make herself heard over the commotion.

Theenie turned to her. “Wes gave Annie an engagement ring. She lost it. I think Erdle just swallowed it.”

“Why would he do something stupid like that?” Vera said.

“It wasn’t my fault,” Erdle said, trying to catch his breath and pull free from Annie. “It was in the cookie.”

“You and Wes are engaged?” Jamie asked Annie, clearly shocked.

Theenie and Lovelle managed to pull Erdle free of Annie’s grasp. “Stop it, this instant!” Theenie told her. “You’re supposed to be practicing anger management.”

“He swallowed my ring!”

“It’s not his fault,” Theenie said. “The ring obviously slipped off your finger while you were making the cookies.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you and Wes had become engaged?” Jamie demanded.

Fleas tore through the kitchen and raced up the stairs, Peaches right behind him, snarling and hissing.

“It’s not official,” Annie said. “I’m still thinking about it.” Something shattered upstairs, but it went ignored.

Erdle bolted toward the back door, but Annie was faster, throwing herself in front of him. “Oh no, you don’t! I’m taking you to the emergency room to have your stomach pumped out.”

The color drained from Erdle’s face. He looked at Lovelle. “Do you have any vodka to go with the rest of this orange juice?”

Suddenly an earsplitting whistle pierced the air and everybody stopped in their tracks to see where it had come from. Vera pulled the whistle from her mouth. “Okay, I’ve listened to just about all I’m going to put up with,” she said, “so I want everybody to shut up and do as I say.” She pointed to Erdle. “Sit.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He pulled out the nearest chair and sat.

She looked at Jamie. “Go find those crazy animals and do something with them or I’m going to call the animal shelter and have them both picked up and you won’t have a flower dog in your wedding.”

Jamie nodded and raced up the stairs, calling out for Fleas.

“Now then,” Vera said. “As I see it, there are only two ways to get to that ring, but having the poor man’s stomach pumped out seems a bit extreme, so we’ll have to take a different approach, if you get my drift.”

Theenie nodded. “Why didn’t I think of that? I have just the thing.” She hurried up the stairs with the speed and agility of a woman half her age.

“Would somebody tell me what’s goin’ on?” Erdle asked.

“You’ll find out soon enough,” Vera told him.

Theenie returned, slightly out of breath, holding a large bottle. “This’ll do the job,” she said.

Annie stepped closer. “What is it?”

“Castor oil. My mother used to make us drink it when we got, um,
clogged up
. Once Erdle drinks this I guarantee you’ll get your ring back, although it’ll take a few hours at least. I want him to drink the whole bottle just to be sure.”

“The
whole
bottle?” Annie asked.

“It won’t hurt him,” Theenie said. “Doctors used to have people drink this stuff all the time before certain tests.”

“The
whole
bottle?” Annie repeated.

“Yep.” Theenie uncapped the bottle.

“Oh no, you don’t!” Erdle said, jumping from his chair. “You’ve lost your danged mind if you think I’m going to drink that nasty stuff.”

Annie planted her hands on her hips. “You’re going to drink it if I have to personally pour it down your throat.”

“No way,” he said, starting for the door.

“Let me take care of this,” Vera said, pulling her Smith & Wesson .38 from her purse. She trained it on Erdle. “Maybe this will change your mind.”

Everybody froze, including Erdle. “Lady, are you crazy? Put that thing down before you hurt somebody.”

“Put that gun away, Vera,” Jamie said from the bottom of the stairs. She held a hissing Peaches several feet in front of her, obviously trying to escape being clawed. “Have you forgotten all you had to go through after you shot the last person?”

Erdle swallowed and slid his gaze to Jamie. “You’re saying this won’t be her first homicide?” His voice squeaked.

“I haven’t shot anybody in months,” Vera said. “I only do it as a last resort.”

Without taking his eyes off her, Erdle reclaimed his seat. Theenie handed him the bottle of castor oil. He took a sip and gagged. “Blah! That’s the worst stuff I’ve ever tasted in my life! I can’t go through with it.”

Vera pulled the hammer back on the pistol. Erdle quickly took another slug. He shuddered and made a face; then, taking a deep breath, he turned the bottle up and drained it. “Satisfied?” he asked Vera.

She nodded, put the hammer in place, and stuffed the gun in her purse.

Jamie looked at Annie. “May I put the cat outside? Fleas won’t come out from under your bed.”

“Of course,” she said. “Oh, and I’ll make sure Peaches is out when you arrive tomorrow.”

Jamie looked relieved as she headed toward the back door with the cat.

“The forecast is calling for rain,” Theenie said. “Peaches is scared of the rain.”

“It’s not going to rain on Jamie’s wedding day,” Destiny said.

Annie shrugged. “Well, if it does, I’ll ask Doc to babysit. Peaches likes Doc. He used to feed her and change her litter box when I went out of town.”

“Can I go now?” Erdle said wearily. “I feel sick.”

Annie closed the distance between them. “Don’t you
dare
throw up, Erdle Thorney!” she said in a threatening voice.

“My stomach doesn’t feel so good,” he whined.

“That’s because you’ve introduced it to something other than booze,” she said.

“I’m gonna be sick,” he wailed.

“Stop it!” Annie said, feeling as though her nerves would snap. “I swear, Erdle, if you throw up I’m going to take Vera’s gun and shoot you myself.”

“You’re a crazy lady,” he said, leaning dangerously to one side. “And mean as hell to boot. That’s how come I know you killed your husband. And all this time I been protecting you. Even buried the body so nobody would find out. Crazy and mean is what you are.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Several gasps filled the room as Erdle’s head fell back and he began to topple. Annie shrieked but caught him before he hit the floor. Jamie hurried over to help her. Very gently, they laid him on the floor, and then they looked at each other.

“He’s out cold,” Jamie told her.

“Did you hear what he said!” Annie cried. “He said he buried Charles.”

“I heard,” Theenie said. “I think we should call Lamar.”

Jamie shook her head. “Not yet. We need to try and get more information out of him.” She paused. “Let’s get him to the sink and stick his head under cold water.”

“Here we go again,” Destiny said as she hurried over to help.

Theenie and Lovelle cleared the sink and counter as the three younger women dragged the man over. Annie pushed his head into the sink and Theenie turned on the cold water full force. Erdle came up coughing and sputtering. “You’re trying to kill me!” he said to Annie. “So I don’t tell what I know.”

“Erdle, you idiot!” she shouted. “I didn’t kill Charles. This is the last time I’m going to tell you.” He didn’t look convinced. “Do I
look
like a murderer?” she demanded.

“Do I look like a grave digger?” he replied, water streaming down his face. He blinked and rubbed his eyes. Lovelle hurried away and reappeared with a bathroom towel. Annie dried his hair while the others held him up. Vera pulled a chair across the room, and Annie and Jamie lowered him onto it as Destiny shoved a cup of black coffee in his face.

“Drink,” Annie said.

Erdle blew into it and cautiously took a sip.

Once Annie was sure he could sit up on his own, she released him. “Start talking, Erdle, and don’t stop until you’ve told us everything.”

His gaze went to Vera. “Is she going to shoot me?”

Vera planted her hands on her hips. “No, but I’ll pistol-whip you if you don’t start moving your jaws.”

He gave a sigh and looked at Annie, his face beaded with sweat. “I saw him. Charles,” he added. “He was laying at the foot of those stairs, deader’n all get-out.”

“
When
did you see him?”

“Same day you left for your mama’s. Act’ally, it was late that night.”

“You told Lamar you were with your army buddy that weekend.”

“I lost my keys and had to borrow his car so I could drive back and get my spare set. I keep them under the stairs to my place. My friend was passed out. He has a drinking problem, if you know what I mean.”

“I think we can relate,” Destiny said, giving an eye roll.

“Only reason I came in the house was ’cause the back door was standing wide open. Charles’s car was in the driveway, so I figured I’d let him know in case somebody had broken in or something. I stepped inside the kitchen and turned on the lights and that’s when I found him. He had a bad scratch on his face, so I thought—”

“You thought I’d scratched him and pushed him down the stairs,” Annie finished for him.

His look was sheepish. “I reckon I wasn’t thinking straight.”

Annie wasn’t interested in his apology at the moment. “Then what?”

“I dragged him out in the yard and buried him where I figured nobody would look. After I checked his pockets to see if he had anything important on him,” he added. “Then I drove his car to the airport and hitched a ride back. When I arrived back at the motel some hours later, my friend was still passed out.”

“What did you do with Charles’s belongings?” Annie asked.

“I packed his bags and hid ’em. Raked leaves for two days once I came home. Burned his stuff with the leaves. Didn’t find no money. Didn’t know he’d hidden money in a hole in the closet.”

“You’re certain he was dead when you found him?” Jamie asked.

“Yep. Somebody smothered him. There was a pillow next to the body.”

Annie closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“That’s all I know,” Erdle said.

Jamie rubbed Annie’s back, obviously trying to comfort her. “You didn’t see anyone else on the property?” Jamie asked.

Erdle shook his head. “I told you everything. Can I have a sandwich? I don’t want no more of those cookies.”

“I’ll make it,” Jamie said. “Annie, you sit down before you fall down.”

“Would you like a glass of brandy?” Lovelle asked.

Annie shook her head and took a seat at the kitchen table. “I don’t drink anymore.”

Once Jamie had served Erdle, she made room for him at the table so he could eat his sandwich. “Why don’t we go into the living room and give Erdle a few minutes to himself?” she suggested.

Vera pointed a manicured finger at Erdle. “You move, you die.”

He nodded.

“Come on, dear,” Theenie said, helping Annie from the chair.

Annie did as she was told, following the women, her arms and legs feeling weighted.

“Don’t you think we’d better go ahead and call the police now?” Theenie asked Jamie.

Jamie shook her head. “I don’t think Annie is in any position to speak to them at the moment.”

Annie was glad Jamie was there to take charge of the situation, because her brain had shut down on her.

Lovelle glanced over her shoulder as if to make sure they were alone. “Does anyone happen to know if it’s against the law to bury somebody who is already dead?”

“Of course it is,” Vera said. “You can’t just go around burying folks wherever it suits you. You probably have to buy some kind of permit.”

Jamie looked thoughtful. “I hate to say it, but I think the murderer is still on the loose. I don’t believe Donna Schaefer
or
Erdle put that pillow over Charles’s face.”

“That’s what I’m thinking,” Annie said.

“Annie, would you like for me to call Wes?” Theenie asked. “He always seems to know what to do.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to have to explain about the ring what with all this other going on.”

“I can solve that little problem,” Destiny said. “Wal-Mart sells cubic zirconia rings that look like the real enchilada. I can probably find something similar to the ring Wes gave you. Trust me, he won’t notice the difference.”

Theenie nodded. “Good idea. We only have to fool Wes for six or eight hours. Until, well, you know.”

“I won’t be long,” Destiny said, hurrying out.

“I’d like to discuss your, um, engagement when you’re feeling better,” Jamie told Annie.

“Don’t worry; Wes is a good man,” Theenie said. “I would have put up a fuss if I didn’t think so. I need to have a little talk with Erdle. He’s going to have to stay here tonight. It’d be best if he slept on a cot in my room so that when the time comes I’ll be there. Remember, I was a nurse’s aide,” she added, not for the first time. “May I get you something, hon?” she asked Annie.

Annie shook her head. “I’ll help you break the news to Erdle in case he gives you any problems.”

The women returned to the kitchen. Theenie told Erdle the plan.

“I’m not sleeping under the same roof with a bunch of crazy women,” he said, his eyes darting at Vera as though he feared she would whip out her pistol again.

“You are
not
going to leave this house until I get my ring back,” Annie said. “I expect you to stick to Theenie like glue until you, um,
deliver.
”

“I’ll need a few items to ensure a successful and antiseptic retrieval,” Theenie said.

“Say no more,” Annie replied, hoping Theenie would not share. “Just take whatever you need.”

“Why don’t we start wrapping these trays of food and putting them away?” Lovelle suggested. “We can store the nonperishable items in the butler’s pantry so we’ll have room in the refrigerator.”

“Vera and I will help,” Jamie said, “but first I need to see if I can get Fleas out from under the bed.” She hurried upstairs.

Annie was thankful she hadn’t frosted Jamie’s cake yet; she wanted it to be a surprise. With the help of the others the food was quickly put away. Annie heard Jamie grunting and groaning from the stairs and saw that she was doing her best to carry her dog down the stairs.

“You’re going to throw out your back,” Vera said, “and you won’t be worth a flip on your honeymoon.”

“I probably shouldn’t be listening to stuff like that,” Theenie said.

Jamie put Fleas down and held his collar. “I hate to be a pest, Annie, but do you have any peroxide?”

“I’ll get some,” Theenie said.

Annie suddenly noticed that Fleas had blood on one side of his nose and hurried over. “Did Peaches do that?”

“I don’t think she likes bloodhounds,” Jamie said, trying to make light of it so Annie wouldn’t take on those worries as well.

“I’m so sorry,” Annie said, rubbing the dog on his bony head. “Peaches is old and ornery like Doc.”

Theenie returned with the peroxide and a handful of cotton balls. As Jamie and Annie held the dog still, she cleaned the wound. Fleas whined and moaned and scratched himself fiercely with one leg. “Peaches got him good,” Theenie said. “Look how deep the scratch is. Good thing Doc isn’t here; he’d insist on putting the poor thing down.”

Lovelle nodded. “Yeah, Doc’s a snarly old man, but he can’t stand to see something suffer.”

Jamie and Vera left once the kitchen was clean and Jamie had helped Annie carry a roll-away bed from the attic to Theenie’s room so Erdle could stick close to the woman. They’d been gone less than ten minutes when a jubilant Destiny returned bearing a ring that strongly resembled Annie’s engagement ring.

Annie held her hand out for all of them to see. “What do you think?”

Lovelle studied it closely. “I can tell the difference, but I’m with Destiny. I don’t think Wes will notice.” She yawned. “I’m exhausted. Why don’t we call it a night?”

As tired as she was, Annie forced herself to take a shower before climbing into bed, but two hours later she was still staring at the ceiling, her mind racing. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Charles lying at the bottom of the stairs, a pillow pressed against his face. She drew comfort thinking perhaps he’d been unconscious at the time.

She picked at her tired brain, trying to find answers to the questions that plagued her until sheer exhaustion forced her eyes closed. She awoke once after a bad dream, but when she couldn’t remember the details she turned over and went back to sleep.

In her next dream she was twelve years old, visiting her grandmother for the summer. They were standing on the back porch gazing down at the stray tomcat that showed up every morning for scraps of food.

“What’s his name, Granny?” Annie asked the first time she saw the scrawny animal.

The woman chuckled. “I call him Lover Boy on account he spends his nights chasing females and getting into fights with the other male cats. Last time he got into a fight he showed up missing half his hair.”

The old woman tossed a handful of chicken bones on the ground, and the cat pounced on them as though he hadn’t eaten in days. After that, Annie made a point of collecting table scraps and only ate half her oatmeal in the morning so Lover Boy got enough to eat.

Then one morning Annie stepped out the door with her oatmeal bowl and found Lover Boy curled beside the bottom step. He looked up at her, his eyes glazed, his fur matted with dried blood. Her breath caught in her throat when she noted half of one ear had been torn away. She raced into the house for her grandmother.

“Go get Doc,” the old woman said after she’d checked the cat.

Doc took one look at the ailing feline and shook his head sadly. “He’s bad off, Annie. Afraid I’m going to have to put him down.”

Tears streamed down Annie’s cheek as she watched Doc carry Lover Boy away.

Annie bolted upright in the bed. Her cheeks were wet from crying. She reached for the telephone and dialed Wes’s cell phone number. No answer. She hung up and climbed from the bed, dressed quickly, and then made her way down the hall toward the kitchen stairs. At the back door she paused to unbolt it and slide the chain free. She winced as it creaked open, reminding her she needed to take an oil can to the hinges. She closed it behind her and started across the backyard where Annie’s grandmother had long ago pulled up her boxwood hedges so she could admire Doc’s rose garden.

Wes opened his eyes when he heard his cell phone ring from the other side of the room, but it took several minutes for him to locate it. By the time he found it tucked in the pocket of his jeans it had stopped ringing. He switched on the lamp beside his bed and rubbed his eyes, trying to force himself awake. Finally, he punched a button on his phone and scrolled down, searching for the last number listed on his screen.

Despite the late hour, the downstairs lights burned brightly on the first floor of Doc’s house. Having knocked several times as hard as she could, Annie gave up. She suspected Doc was watching TV in his den and couldn’t hear her at the door. She lifted the flowerpot beside his door and reached for the key beneath it.

Inside, the TV blared from the den. Annie found Doc asleep in his recliner, an old quilt draped over him. She turned off the TV, and he jerked and opened his eyes. He frowned at the sight of her. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“We need to talk. It’s important.”

“What is so important that you have to barge into my house at two o’clock in the morning?” he said, his face red and mottled from sleep. He sounded out of sorts.

“It’s about Charles,” she said.

“Oh, good grief. Don’t you watch the news or read the paper? They found the lady who did it.”

“Donna Schaefer didn’t kill him, Doc. Charles was alive when she left.”

“How do you know?”

Annie sat on the nearby sofa. “Erdle came in later that night and found Charles dead, a pillow next to the body. He thought I’d killed him in one of my dumb temper fits, so he tried to cover it up by burying Charles in the backyard.”

“Erdle buried him? Seems I remember he was gone at the time.”

“He came back for something later that night. He took care of everything nice and neat.”

“Why are you telling
me
this?” Doc said.

“You were pruning your rosebushes during that time, remember? From your garden you can see my backyard. And then you like to sit in your lawn chair with your cognac and look at them, sometimes for hours. You once said that’s when you do your best thinking.”