Finding My Pack (15 page)

  I bring my legs up, scurrying into the corner of the bucket, my hands splayed out to either side of me, holding me in place. My sudden movement makes the bucket rock. My eyes fly to every rivet, making sure they are all there and tightly fitted. Why the hell did I climb in this thing without checking out if it was going to fall apart? That seems like something you should do BEFORE you're freaking out a thousand stories up in the air.

  Logan takes in my panicked state with a look of amusement. "What's wrong Kitten?" He asks.

  "Uh... nothing, I would like to get off now, please," I say as calmly as I can. I have a strange thought that if I insult the wheel it will get angry and throw me to the ground. Unreasonable? ...Yes. Do I totally believe it in this moment....Yes. Yes, I do.

  "I have to say, you are really looking like your namesake right now Kitten." I would kick him, but the wheel would know. By now we have passed the ground. Oh joy, we get to do it all over again.

  "Please Logan, I really want off. I think I'm going to be sick." I plead with him to understand that I'm serious. MY hands start to sweat and I curse them. Don't they friggin know that if all goes to hell we will have to hold onto something? Think hands, think! Logan must finally see how panicked I am because he starts shouting for Tristan.

  "Yeah?" I hear him shout back. Logan explains the situation, telling him, and the wheel, everything.

  Tristan calls out to me, but I can't make myself answer him. My throat has gone dry and my heart now resides there. He keeps talking, though. "Just close your eyes, Kitten, hear me talking to you. Block out everything else. It's just you and me Kitten. We're running in our back yard. Playing tag. Your long blond hair flowing behind you as I chase you. No shoes on, you feel the soft blades of grass tickle your toes. You're laughing, running for the trees. You feel me getting close to you.

  My heart rate lowers the more he talks. With my eyes closed I can almost picture it. Being with Tristan is soothing. It's safety. We're safe, here together, in the back yard. Just him and me, playing.

  Tristan goes on. "I reach for you with my hand, brushing against your soft skin. You stop, turning to me, a happy smile on your beautiful face. My fingertips caress your cheek..."

  The wheel grinds to stop, making the bucket rock again. My eyes fly open, my panic back. It soon recedes when I realize that I'm back on the ground. Thank God! I've never been happier to see pavement in my life.

  "Aww...it was just getting good." A guy shouts from somewhere. Other people start laughing with him. My face is on fire as the man in the yellow shirt opens the bar on the bucket. I forgot that we were, indeed, in public. Tristan shouting the words loud enough for me and others to hear. Logan holds me until Tristan and Reed get off. I throw myself at Tristan, climbing his body like a tree, burying my face in his neck. I should say thank you but I can't speak yet. Tristan holds me back just as tightly, carrying me away somewhere. I peek over his shoulder, noticing that Noah is in Logan's hand. Good. He's safe now too.

  After I'm thoroughly stuffed with weird and delicious fair food, the guys had split up, each bringing back a few different things. Finn encourages me to ride one last ride, so I don't develop a fear of all of them, he said. It's hard to deny my wolf when he throws logic and reason in my face like that. We pile into cars on a wooden roller coaster. It's not that high off the ground, thankfully. Finn sits next to me, his long legs scrunched up.

  As the man in the yellow shirt checks the bar on our seat, I stop him. "When was the last maintenance check performed for this ride?" I ask. I learned my lesson with the Wheel of Death.

  The guy blinks his eyes in surprise. "Um, I guess about two hours ago Miss."

  "No problems since then?" I ask sternly. He better not be lying to me. If I die on this ride I swear I will find him and haunt him for eternity. Or at least until I'm bored.

  "No ma'am, everything's been runnin smoothly." I nod my head and he continues on down the line. Finn grips my hand, bringing it to his lips, kissing my knuckles. His pouty lips are soft and warm.

  "That was smart of you Kitten, we'll do that from now on. I don't know why I didn't think of it."  To say I'm surprised would be a major understatement. Maybe Finn isn't shy after all, maybe he's just a gentlemen. That's what gentlemen do in books.

  The car starts forward, up the hill. I hear 'clink, clink' noises as we move up. It sounds ominous. I still have Finn's hand though. I don't think he could fall out if he tried. I know he won't let me fall if I somehow come out of my seat. I trust him. We fall over the crest of the hill, the car gaining speed, racing around turns and dips. All too soon we are back where we started.

  That was awesome! The bar on the front rises and people stream out of their seats. I want to go again so I stay put. Finn is already out, standing on the platform with the rest of the guys. He looks at me questioningly.

  "I want to go again," I answer his look.

  "Alright, we'll get back in line."

  I frown at him. "Why would I do that when I'm already right here?" Silly boy.

  Tristan shakes his head. "Because it's someone else's turn now Kitten."

  "That doesn't make any sense. When you're on a swing you don't get off after one swing backward. The person waiting for the swing has to wait for you to be done with it. I'm not done with this roller-coaster." I know I'm looking at him like he's stupid, which is mean and not true. I can't help it though, even I knew that!

  Reed steps forward laughing hysterically. "In a perfect world Kitten, playground rules would apply to everything. Sadly, this is not a perfect world." He offers his hand to me to help me from the car. I take it, stepping beside him. It still doesn't make sense, but I’ll take their word for it.

  As we make our way to the exit, Reed bends down, placing a kiss on my shoulder where it meets my neck. "You couldn't get any more perfect if you tried Babe."

  I'm sure even my toes flush scarlet at Reed's words. He thinks I'm perfect? Really? I wonder what ever made him think that. Whatever it was, I'd like to know so I can keep doing it. I think that would be strange to ask, though. I sigh.

  "You ready to go Kitten? I think we've ridden every ride at least once." Logan asks from behind me.

  "Yeah, I'm getting a little tired. We have to do something first, though." I step next to Finn. Grabbing his hand in mine, giving it a little squeeze. I look up at him from under my lashes. I know he's already on board, but I don't know if the others will be. I don't know how to ask them for this.

  Finn understands me. "We need to rescue some goldfish for Kitten before we go," Finn states to the others. "You guys up for it?"

  I hear some chuckling behind me before hearing the three of them give their consent. Okay, so that wasn't so hard after all. I squeeze Finn's hand again in appreciation. "Thank you, Mr. Wolf," I whisper so only he can hear.

  He leans over, kissing the crown of my head. "No problem my Dearest Kitten. All you have to do is ask."

  We spend the next hour and a half taking over the Ring Toss. This game looked simple before. Turns out it's quite tricky. The guys are winning goldfish left and right. I have no strategy what so ever. I just toss the rings hoping they will land around something. Sometimes they do, but more often than not they bounce off.

  Since we've monopolized all the space available for customers the guy in the yellow shirt stands off to the side, smoking a cigarette. When we first walked up, each of my guys pulled out a stack of money and handed it to Tristan, who then had a short chat with yellow shirt man that I couldn't hear. He's the one retrieving the rings for the rest of us. I accidently hit him with one once. I apologized thoroughly as the others laughed and he rubbed his forehead. Oops.

  Just when my arm feels like it's about to fall off and my frustration at not being able to master this game reaches an all-time high, Tristan claps his hands together. "Okay, we've officially won all the goldfish!" He announces.

  All of them? Really! This is so much more than I could have ever hoped for. I feel tears stings my eyes, so happy I can barely stand it. The boys go about getting all of the little fish into big white buckets. Finn informs me that Tristan paid extra for them. I'm glad he thought ahead, I don't know what we would've done with so many baggies.

  I practically skip to the car with Noah snuggled in my arms as the guys carry the buckets. We load them into the back of Reed's white Escalade. Once they're secured I start to climb in the back seat. I'm stopped when I catch a conversation between Reed and Logan.

  "Remind me never to take Kitten to a pet store. She'd be horrified." Logan laughs.

  "I just hope they don't die on the way, I think she had fun today, I'd hate to see her be sad again." Reed replies.

  I shut the door after I set Noah on the seat. I walk to the back, looking at the guys standing around. "I'm not stupid. I've been in a pet store before, you know. They had fish kept in small tanks there too. The difference between those fish and these, are that at least the pet store fish had a chance, people would probably buy them and take them home. Take care of them. And the store doesn't leave them out in the sun to suffocate. Some of the goldfish we rescued may die. I know that. But at least we are giving them a chance. That's all I wanted."

   I'm not mad at them. Not at all. I know I must seem strange, and I know I've been getting the social things wrong all day. They don't understand me and that's okay. They helped me anyway. Didn't even question it. I just don't want them to think that I'm stupid.

  "I didn't mean it that way, Kitten. Your heart is just so big. I hate the thought of disappointing you. That's all." Logan says sincerely.

  "You could never disappoint me, Logan, none of you could. Just don't forget where I came from. I wasn't raised in an ivory tower, my eyes have always been fully opened. Some of our goldfish will die, but that won't break me. It's life. It happens. Okay?" I ask, looking to each one of them. They all nod. Reed's sad smile is back on his face.

  "Okay then, can we find a pond to drop them off at on the way home?"

  "Already taken care of. There's an apartment complex about five miles from here with a pond out front. We'll stop there." Finn tells me. Good. That's not too far. I hop in the SUV, buckling myself in. And just because I think it's funny, I buckle in Noah next to me. Reed and Finn get into the SUV as well. Tristan and Logan make the short walk to the red Charger. Before Finn's door can close all the way though, I hear Logan's voice.

"Did you hear that man? She said home." He nudges Tristan playfully and the two of them walk past with goofy grins.

……..

  We pull into the apartment complex, each taking a bucket at a time. Some of the fish did die and are floating at the top. I'm sorry to see it, but I leave them there, pouring the water out slowly. At least now they can serve as food for some other fish. It's the cycle of life after all. The guys do the same.

  When we're down to the last bucket we all gather around. "Would you like to keep one Kitten? We could get you a fish bowl." Finn asks.

  "Yeah, or a whole fucking tank if you want it, give the little guy some room to roam." Logan throws in. Making me giggle.

  I shake my head. "No, that's okay. Thanks, though. I wouldn't want to take one of them away from his fish family. These guys have been kept captive long enough. They've earned their chance at freedom."

  "That's my girl. Maybe one day we'll get you some fish from the pet store." Logan says, dumping the fish out into the pond.

  I smile as I watch them swim away. I bend down to a kneeling Logan, kissing his cheek. "I think I'd like that."

I must have fallen asleep on the way home. I feel myself being lifted into thick arms. I want to open my eyes and state than I can walk, but it doesn't happen. My face is pressed into a warm neck, the amazing smell rousing me enough to lift my lead filled arms around a head with silky hair. I think it's Ash. He smells almost exactly like his name. Like fire and charcoal and burning wood. I don't know what it is, but it's uniquely him. Normally I'd think something like that would be off-putting, but if the word 'strong' had a smell, Ash would have it. I soak it in. Wrapping myself in his protectiveness.