Finding My Pack (12 page)

  His eyes flare wide, lips forming a thin line. He snaps his head to Remy, who is ready to stand from the bed. "You're dead motherfucker!!!" Ash says pouncing on Remy.

  I let out a scream as the two massive men collide. Ash knocking Remington into one of the posters of the bed. I scramble off the other side, backing myself into a corner of the room. Remy grabs Ash's head with an arm, using his other one to block punches being thrown. Ash sweeps a leg out, robbing Remy of balance, who takes Ash with him to the floor. They roll around, both struggling to get the upper hand. Ash is landing blows to Remy's torso, making sickening crunching sounds. I think I'm in shock. I know I should run, but I can't move. I can only sit and watch as two people I have come to care about hurt each other.

  I stare at my knees, counting out loud. Just trying to block out the noise and pretend it's not happening. Maybe denial is more my thing than I knew. Maybe I was in denial about me being in denial? No, that doesn't sound like me. SEE! Denial.

  I'm snapped out of my stupid train of thought to nowhere by Ash's booming voice. "What the FUCK is wrong with you! You hurt her?! My Little One!"

  "NO! Just stop for a fucking minute and I'll explain!" Remy says while shoving Ash against a wall. Ash roars, and even though I've only seen it happen once, I know he's shifting.

Remy steps away from the impressive black wolf now in front of him. "Don't do this Aeshlyn. You know where this leads if I shift and you try to fight me..."

  Remy doesn't finish his statement as four half-dressed guys come crashing into the room. The door gets knocked back against the wall with enough force to break the mirror. The loud shattering sound causes me to scream again. All eyes snap to me. Movement stops. I stand shakily from my crouched position. A little braver now that backup is here. The huge wolf barks at me. The sound makes me jump, which just makes me mad now. I just collected myself and here he has me all anxious again. I feed on that bit of anger, letting it consume me. I'd rather be angry than crying in a corner.

  "Just stop it, Ash!" I yell at him. "Why the hell are you so angry anyway?" I stare him down, waiting for his answer before I mentally slap myself on the forehead, wolves don't talk you idiot. "Change back dang it."

  "Yeah dude, we need to talk this out and we can't do that with you like that," Tristan says in calming voice. All the anger I've mustered up seeps out of me as soon as he speaks. I don't know how he does it and I'm not sure if I love him for it or want to poke him in the eye. Either way I make a mad dash to him like the total girl I am. I'd roll my eyes at myself later, right now I want to feel safe again.

  I instantly feel at home as Tristan takes me in his arms, his lips going to my head in a soft kiss. Peace fills me as I press my whole body into him. I wish he'd speak again so I could lose myself in his magical calmness. He could read a phone book for all I care. Do they still make those? Or do they just post it online?

   I sense a presence behind me so I turn my head and look. It's Kellan, his deep green eyes telling me everything will be okay without a word. No one has spoken yet and I wonder if Ash has finished turning. As much as I'd love to hide behind Tristan and Kellan I know I can't. This is about me. I inhale one last breath of Tristan's citrus-like scent and let go of him.

  Stepping around Kellan's impossibly tall frame, I see Ash, the man, pulling a shirt over his head, already having put on pants. "Talk to me Ash, why did you attack Remy?"

  Ash looks at me with disbelief coloring his face. "Are you serious? I knock on the door to wake Remy up and hear you crying. I thought something was wrong! I see you there" he points to the bed "sobbing your little heart out. This whole room smells like your sex and his scent is all over you. Did he hurt you, Kitten?" He asks, looking for the world like he wants me to say yes so he can tear Remy apart.

  "He didn't hurt me, Ash. I promise. Remy didn't do anything I didn't want him to." I look to Remington, pleading with him to tell them what we did later. After I'm gone. He nods his head once, message received.

  Ash deflates a little, still not looking satisfied. "Then why were you upset?"

  Dang it! I didn't want to answer that. I have to though if I don't want them fighting. "Because when I heard the knock on the door I thought it was him," I say, pointing to Jace.

  Ash turns his glare to Jace. I roll my eyes. "No Ash, not like that. It's just, after what he said yesterday and then I..." my voice trails off in a whisper.

  "It's alright Kitten, the rest of us need to have a discussion. Logan, you take her to Tristan's room, get her dressed and ready for the day. Kitten, we'll handle things from here, okay?" Kellan says, sounding more commanding than ever. His whole body is rigid, fists clenched at his sides. When his grassy eyes find mine, he forces a smile. "Go on, I'll find you later."

  Logan takes my hand, leading me away from the rest of them.

I sit on the corner of the bed as Logan searches through the clothes he bought for me. I feel like absolute crap. I made them fight. Friends who have been with each other for who knows how long. I didn't want to bring them down, but I think that's exactly what I'm doing.

  "Go ahead and jump in the shower, I'll be out here," Logan says. It's the first thing he's said to me all morning, I wonder if he's mad at me too.

  I climb in the shower, turning the water to scolding. Bowing my head, I let the water wash over me. I wish it could wash the guilt out of me but no, water can't do that. I use Tristan's body wash, lathering it up hoping the reminder of him will lift my spirits. I know he somewhat smells like the soap, but it's not the same. Tristan's underlying natural scent is what draws me. After washing my hair, I decide that I need to get out. My fingers are pruning and I'm feeling a bit waterlogged.

  Logan has set a pile of clothes on the sink for me. I dress mechanically in a pair of light colored jeans, a pink tee, and converse sneakers. I open the door and take a seat on the closed toilet lid. I'm sure that's where he'll want me anyway. He walks in, taking a long look at me and shakes his head. I look down, staring at the tiled floor. Logan brushes my hair, but it doesn't feel the same. As soon as he's done I hop up on the sink without being asked. I hear Logan sigh as he gets a hairdryer out. Once every last strand is dry and placed like he wants it, he puts the dryer away and stalks from the room. I feel a sharp pain in my chest as the door to the bedroom slams shut. I'm pretty sure my heart just shattered into a million pieces.

Logan

M
y feet can't move fast enough. I've been listening in on the meeting and I'm ready to say my piece. My fucking brothers have been arguing for over an hour, getting no-fucking-where. I'm done with this. I step into the game room where they've gathered and take in the scene. Remy is standing, as usual, while the rest are seated. Nope, not this time, I think to myself.

  I snap my fingers at Remington. "No way dude, take a seat." He looks at me like I'm crazy, which maybe I am, they've made me be crazy though. Remy finds a seat anyway.

  "Alright, listen the fuck up, I'm only going to say this once because I need to get back. I could give a shit less what any of your personal opinions are. The fact is, there's a girl upstairs that feels confused, guilty, and flat out fucking depressed. She looks to us for social cues and you are all fucking it up royally. Jace...” I seek him out, pointing my finger in his face. "...You need to fix shit with her, now! That poor girl will probably have issues with intimacy for rest of her life because of you and that fucker Adam, calling her a whore before she even had her first orgasm. That's fucking low dude, no matter your reasons."

  I back from Jace before he can respond, he looks hurt but I don't care. He had no right to mess with her like that, trying to run her off when he knew damn well the rest of us love having her with us. I find Ash next, I stand in front of him but don't point at him. He hates that shit and let's face it, Ash is one scary motherfucker when he wants to be.

  "You need to control your rage around her man, violence scares her, don't forget for even a moment how you found her. A tiny little thing like that, alone, without protection for sixteen years? Yeah, I'm sure she's seen some shit and been through things none of us can imagine. If you want her around, you better reign it in. If you were worried about her you should have taken her from the room and ASKED her what was wrong." Ash simply nods his head. That's good enough for me.

  Lastly, I look to Remy, I've never yelled at him the entire time I've known him, I've never had to. Remy is the epitome of control and has the patience of a saint. Until now it seems. "I agree with what Kellan said earlier man, way too fucking soon. I get that she's hot as hell and sweet and could make the pope beg for five minutes alone with her, I do, trust me. But she just got here. She doesn't know us, not really. She's still healing from some asshole trying to rape her! Let her settle in before we make her think Jace was right. Which she already does by the way."

  I shake my head. Watching Kitten earlier, moving around like a toy robot...it sucks. I want her happy and carefree like she was when we played tag. I'm sure she has no idea how beautiful she is when she smiles. Or how amazing she smells. God that girl drives me nuts. These fuckers are taking away the light from inside her, making her question everything she does. It's not right, it stops here and now.

Kellan

  I don't think I've seen Logan this upset before. I knew he was getting close to Kitten, those two had an almost instant connection. If I didn't know any better I'd say he's already fallen for her, or in the process of it. Logan is usually cold as stone around females. He only associates with them when the need for sex gets overwhelming, even then he has to consume copious amounts of alcohol and takes a random barfly home for a one night stand.

I'm glad when he agrees with me about Remy moving too fast. Psychologically speaking, I don't think Kitten is ready to experience sexual acts. I know my brothers are feeling the need to claim her, and fast, but none of us know what we're doing here. We'll run her off if we push too hard, I just know it.

  "I know I made my point earlier about slowing things down, but do we even know what we're doing with this girl? I mean, who is going to claim her? We all can't have her." I point out.

  I regret it immediately, though. Several growls sound around the room, I don't want there to be a fight over her, we need each other and I'd hate to see us split over this. I can admit though, at least to myself, that if there WAS a fight to have her, I'd be in it. I want her too.

Finn

              My brother has a point. We can't all have Kitten. My heart drops to my stomach at the realization. If she was forced to choose I'm sure it wouldn't be me. Remington and Ash are the strongest of us, the most dominant. She already clings to Tristan and Logan like life preservers in a storm. I doubt she'd choose Jace, so there's that I suppose. I haven't seen her with my brother or Reed much, so who knows about them.

   I was ecstatic when Remy said I was to tutor Kitten. That means I'd have loads of alone with her and I could show her that others might have the brawn, but I have the brains. Some girls are attracted to intelligence, I was hoping she was one of them. I sigh inwardly, even if I managed to get her, how could I expect to keep her with my twin and brothers around?

Reed

              This whole morning has been wicked crazy. I figured one of the guys would put the moves on Kitten eventually, but I thought we were bringing her into the group as one of us? Sure, I kissed her, but that was just to make sure she'd never forget me. A girl always remembers her first kiss after all. Now there's talk of mating with her, and Rem apparently did something with her that was like sex, but not. That's funny since we're talking about Remy, the ultimate Dom and all his crazy sex shit. Ash should just be happy that he stopped at whatever he did.

  Hearing the growls from several of my bro's at Kellan's statement surprised the hell out of me. I guess I could picture having Kitten as my own as well. She's the perfect girl really. Smoking hot, but she doesn't know it. Sweetness drips from her every pore, heart on her sleeve even after the life she's lived. Oh yeah, I could wake up to that every morning. I imagine painting her, the early morning sun pouring over her naked form on my bed. My cloud bed, as she called it. I chuckle at that. She says the cutest things.

Ash

  I growl at Kellan. Of course we can't all have her! How dare he even imply that shit! As much as I like the thought of always having her around, her being mine to protect, I know she deserves better. Before this morning I thought maybe Remy could claim her, it would still be my job to protect her that way. The alpha's mate always has the pack looking out for her. He can be an asshole at times, but I thought he'd make it his mission to make her happy, and my Little One deserves to be happy. I'm too rough and surly to make a sweet girl like her content. I know that. Even though he didn't hurt her like I thought, I still question his actions this morning. That girl is untouched and frankly pretty un-fucking-prepared to take shit to that level. It's clear as damn day. I doubt she's even held a guy’s hand before. Fucking Remy....

Jace

  Well...there you go. My worst fear realized. They all thought my outburst at Kitten yesterday was because I thought she was after money. One look at the girl and you know that's not true. If she was after money she could get it easily. Not by whoring herself out exactly but by marrying some hideous, rich, old man looking for a trophy. She might be a bit young for that yet, in today's society, but I'm sure most of them would put her up until she turned eighteen, then marry her. Kitten is gorgeous, prettier than me even. My fear was that having her here would tear my family apart. Wars have been fought for her kind of beauty, my brothers don't stand a chance.

  I won't deny for an instant that I don't want that tight little package as my own. I'd be an idiot not to, every inch of her is perfection. I've dated models that pale in comparison to her. I hated being so cruel. I knew she'd be hurt by my words, that's why I said them after all. I didn't expect her to forgive me, though. That was a real shock. She's beautiful on the inside as well it seems, that's a rare occurrence, one that I haven't seen in a very long time.

  What Logan said just now makes me feel guilty. I didn't think about the long term effect my words might have on her. I've already decided to make it up to her. As if I had a choice anyway, my brothers would probably string me up and take turns hitting me with a bat if I didn't. Or worse, scratch my car! If we're going to make her choose one of us soon, I better get myself in the game. No way could she be here without her belonging to me. I'd be lucky to find someone with half her beauty, and that just won't do.

Tristan

  I watch as every single one of them drift off into their own little worlds. Most likely thinking about Kitten. I had no idea the impact she'd have on us all when I brought her here. I'll never forget the night I found her. She was strong, ready to face death on her own terms even though her body gave up on her. I know the others see her as weak, but they're wrong. Living on the streets for sixteen years does not produce weak beings. She raised herself and I think she did a pretty good job considering. As soon as she was awake she had all of us wrapped around her finger, it's been interesting to watch. I love her reactions to me. I don't know why I have the effect on her that I do, but I love it. She has the same effect on me, but she can't see it. I like that too.

   I can't believe what Remy did, but I won't say I don't understand why he did it. Kitten has never been around men, not ones that didn't want to harm her. I'm sure her hormones are all out of whack. It's natural for her age, but it's not like she's been eased into any of this. She didn't get kissed on the playground in primary school, or held hands with a crush in middle school, she's a blank slate, suddenly exposed to eight testosterone filled werewolf males. If she even hinted that she wanted something from Remy, he'd give. I doubt the others have noticed his lack of control when it comes to Kitten. I have.

  Since no one has spoken after Kellan's statement of 'we can't all have her', I take the initiative. "Why not?" I throw out.

  "What!" Ash booms.

  "I said, why not. Why can't we all have her?" I shrug.

  "How about because she's not a whore?" Reed drawls, rolling his eyes at me.

  "Now hold on, Tristan may have a point." Remy jumps in, rubbing at his eyebrow with his index finger. I'm happy he found his confidence again. He's not used to being questioned and the guys have been rough on him today. "Why does she have to be a whore to be shared by us? If it's only us she's with, then what does it matter?"

  "Are you saying that you, Alpha of this pack, would willingly share a female with the rest of us?" Asks Jace incredulously. Interesting, he said 'us', so he must want her too. He has a disturbing way of showing it, but I see his eagerness now.

  "I think I would be willing…yes, Mr. Rotherstone. I admit to feeling a pull towards the girl since the moment I laid eyes on her. You would think I would have felt anger, or even jealousy, at having the rest of you paw at her, but…I haven’t.” Remy states, confusing us all and looking quite perplexed himself.

  "You all are insane. You can't share a tiny girl like that! Who says she even wants to?" Ash seems frustrated.

  "I say she does." I meet Ash's eyes, showing I'm serious. "I'm not saying she's ready for a sexual relationship with all eight of us right this minute. I still think Kellan was right about that. I'm saying that I think she's strong enough to handle the lot of us. You all think Kitten is young, naive and weak. You're wrong. I mean, she is, but that's not all she is. I think she has as many personalities as us combined. She's intricate. We haven't given her a chance to shine yet, to show us who she is."

  Finn clears his throat, getting all of our attention. Rarely does he speak in family meetings. He must feel whatever he has to say is important. "I would just like to point out that Kitten has yet to show any favoritism to any one of us. Given the differences among the eight of us in personality, size, looks and so on, I think it would be reasonable to state that this is an abnormality. Furthermore, given our lacking knowledge of our kind unless we have personally dealt with an issue…." He trails off and shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

  "Please continue Finn." Kellan gently prods his twin.

  Finn glances briefly at each of us before settling his gaze on Remy. "Well… it might not be unreasonable to think that Kitten may be our mate.”

“Our? As in all of us? How the fuck do did you come to the conclusion that that shit is reasonable?” Ash booms angrily.

“You will watch your tone, Ash!” Remy barks. A glance over at Finn tells me that he’s withdrawn back into himself. I shake my head, Ash should know better. I think all this talk about Kitten has him all worked up.