Finding Love at Home (The Beiler Sisters) (11 page)

“I hope you come to your senses on Debbie before it’s too late!”
Daett
turned and left after delivering this last volley. He didn’t wait for a response.

Alvin groped for the side of the couch and stood. His head swam as he grabbed the lantern and staggered into the washroom for his coat. He shielded his eyes from the light and made his way into the yard. A soft glow through the barn windows caught his attention. Another groan escaped his lips. Mildred was already at chores. Shame upon shame was being heaped on him this morning.

“
Da Hah
help me,” Alvin prayed as he pushed open the barn door.

Mildred stood by the stanchions regarding him with skepticism. “You look rough. Should you be up this morning?”

“You can’t do the chores by yourself,” he said without thinking about how it might sound. Actually, Mildred probably could, for all he knew.

“You look like you were up all night.” Mildred raised her eyebrows. “Were you with that
Englisha
girl who was in church?”

“Mildred, please don’t you start on me. I did nothing wrong—unless introducing Crystal to my parents was wrong. And it probably was.”

Mildred didn’t appear convinced. “An
Englisha
girl follows you back to the community—at least that’s what the buzz was last night at the hymn singing—and you’re not sure if something is amiss? Why would an
Englisha
girl come in like that and then go to your place last night?”

Alvin shook his head. “It’s not what it appears, Mildred. What do you care? I’m the one who has the explaining ahead of me. I have Debbie to explain to. Imagine how that’s going to go.”

Hope flashed across Mildred’s face for a moment.

Alvin noticed and frowned. Apparently he’d said the wrong thing. But he really didn’t care what she thought. He cared only what Debbie would think.

“I think you did some awful things out there, Alvin. I don’t know about last night, but you’re obviously being tempted. I mean, who wouldn’t be attracted to a beautiful woman like Crystal, or even Debbie for that matter. But they aren’t doing you any
gut
. Can’t you see that?”

“Stay out of this, Mildred!” Alvin left her to open the back barn door for the cows.

Mildred had the feed spread out by the time the cows filed in. She gave Alvin a sharp look. “I’m not trying to destroy your life, Alvin, or take you away from anything. I’m just speaking my heart
to you. And with what has been happening over the weekend, I think I have at least that right. You and I—we go back a long time. To those days in school when we smiled at each other from our desks. I thought you were so handsome and shy all at the same time. That was the combination that attracted me. I used to love those whispered conversations we had, Alvin. I really did. Yes, I left you back then. But I was wrong, Alvin. I was puffed up in my mind. I thought of other boys who appeared better than you did right then.”

Mildred glanced at him. She continued when Alvin ducked behind a cow. “I don’t know if I can ever make that right, Alvin. Maybe I have no right to even try… but like I said, yesterday shook everyone up. I hope you understand that. Crystal won’t be explained easily. I’m sure Deacon Mast will be making a visit to see you. But you already know that. What I want to say is for myself, Alvin. I’m sorry. I couldn’t see the man you were becoming. It takes a lot of nerve to live out there in the world… facing being put in the
bann
. And then you came back and repented. Or at least you’re trying to repent. And now you have your
daett’
s farm. I see now that it wasn’t you who was running it into the ground. If there is ever a chance again of a fresh start for us, Alvin, please consider it. If not, well, I’m still sorry. I wish you nothing but the best. But always remember that I, for one, understand. And I’m willing to understand even more, whatever is revealed or said in the days ahead.”

Alvin finally looked at her. “Mildred, it can never be—you and me. But thank you for understanding.”

“You’re a
gut
man, Alvin.” Her smile was weak. “Keep up your courage.”

She wouldn’t give up, Alvin thought. He ducked his head down again to check the equipment on the cow. He’d thanked Mildred for her concern, and he owed her nothing further. Although, he had to admit, it would be so easy to just let go and fall back into the way things used to be when he was growing up. Mildred would be a safe
frau
. She was raised in the ways of the community and stirred no
suspicions in anyone’s heart. But one couldn’t go back to the past. He had changed, and so had Mildred. More than even she might be aware of.

Right now he wanted the pounding in his head to cease and for the misunderstandings from yesterday to simply vanish like the dawn outside was overtaking the darkness. But that wouldn’t happen. Again he’d have to face his troubles. He couldn’t continue to run away from them.

Ten

T
he baby’s cry rent the still, morning silence as Ida held Verna’s trembling hand. Old Sadie held the baby facedown against one arm while she operated a hand suction with the other. Verna threw her head back against the pillow with a soft gasp and closed her eyes as she panted.

“
Yah
, it’s a girl!” Sadie announced. Her wrinkled face glowed. “Another birth and so precious—once again.
Da Hah
’s ways never cease to amaze.”

“Can I do anything?” Ida let go of Verna’s hand.

“Give me a minute, and you can call Joe. The man must have the living room floor worn bare by now.”

Ida thought about Joe. He’d been shooed away from the bedroom door by Sadie sometime before dawn. He’d gone out to the barn, but the front door had slammed a half hour ago. Joe was either finished with his chores, or he couldn’t stand another minute away from his
frau
.

“Did I hear right?” Verna’s voice trembled. “It’s a girl?”

“
Yah
, you heard right.” Sadie eased the now blanket-wrapped infant into Verna’s arms.

The glow in Verna’s face was instant as the color rushed into her face. “Our very first
boppli,
Ida! Oh, she is so beautiful!”

Ida ran her hand between the tiny fingers of her niece. A rush of love rose up inside of her. “That she is, Verna!”

“She’s a little jaundiced, but some babies are,” Sadie said as she washed her hands in a warm bowl of water on the dresser. “You’d better get Joe, Ida. The poor man.” Sadie chuckled.

Ida took one last look at the tiny crinkled face before she opened the bedroom doorway. Joe nearly tumbled in on her. Ida gasped.

“I’m…I’m…I’m so sorry,” Joe stammered, grabbing the door-frame. “I thought I heard a baby’s cry.”

“That you did.” Sadie gave him a warm smile. “Your daughter’s over there, Joe.” Sadie motioned toward Verna with her chin.

Joe took cautious steps forward and reached for Verna’s hand.

“It’s a girl, Joe!” Verna whispered. She opened the blanket wider to show both wiggling arms. “Isn’t she beautiful?”

“Sarah Mae,” Joe said, his voice awed. “You said it would be a girl, Verna.”

Verna beamed. “I wanted you to be the first to say the name.”

“That’s a nice touch.” Sadie was still smiling. “Sarah Mae. I like that. It’s been a while since I’ve heard the name used.”

“Are you okay?” Joe touched Verna’s forehead.

“I am now,” Verna said. “Did they keep you outside all this time? You poor thing. But it was for the best, Joe. It really was.”

“We’d better leave them alone for a few moments.” Sadie pulled on Ida’s arm.

Neither Verna nor Joe noticed them leave. They gazed together at the child in Verna’s arms.

“A most beautiful thing, a child’s birth,” Sadie whispered. “Have you ever thought of doing midwifery, Ida? You were quite
gut
helping me.” Sadie gave her an appraising glance. “And you’re still on your feet after being up all night.”

“Anyone can do that,” Ida said at once.

Sadie smiled. “Not everyone, believe me. I do declare, you’re not even wobbly on your feet. Think about it. That’s all I can say. I’m not a young woman anymore, and I’ll be glad to start taking you along on births if you’re interested.”

Ida swallowed hard. “But if I should marry?”

Sadie laughed. “I have twelve children myself. Are you forgetting that? A woman like you… there’s always room in your heart for the little ones.”

Ida’s mind whirled. She loved helping bring lovely Sarah Mae into the world. Could she not also enjoy this in the future? What worthwhile work it would be! Would Minister Kanagy consent?

Sadie studied her and offered a short laugh. “Have you a man picked out then? Is there someone we don’t know about?”

Ida felt heat rise up her neck. Obviously not everyone had noticed Minister Kanagy’s glances her way.

“Come on now,” Sadie teased. “Your secret will be safe with me.
Da Hah
knows I have plenty of those already, working amongst the people like I do.”

But she hadn’t even told
Mamm
yet, Ida thought. There hadn’t been time yesterday before Joe arrived with the news that Verna was in labor. Still, her heart had bonded deeply with Sadie over the nighttime hours. To tell Sadie about Minister Kanagy felt like the most natural thing in the world—and she greatly longed to tell someone.

“Well, we’d better get busy then.” Sadie gave her a warm smile.

Obviously the midwife didn’t intend to push the matter further. Ida blurted the words out. “Minister Kanagy inquired after me yesterday. I told him I’d be willing to wed him.”

Sadie’s eyebrows went up. “And his
frau
barely in the ground.”

Ida winced. “There are his children and Melvin’s children to consider. They are the real reason for the rush.”

“Oh… ” Sadie paused for a moment. “Of course! How could I forget? That’s so sweet, Ida. And you wish this? Are you sure?”

“I want it with all my heart,” Ida whispered. “Melvin’s children, that is. And the Kanagy children. Minister Kanagy—he’s okay, I guess.”

Sadie shrugged. “You’re thinking it’s
Da Hah
’s will then? And Minister Kanagy? You could do worse, I suppose. You do know though that much hard work lies ahead of you. Minister Kanagy has two children of his own, and Melvin had six, didn’t he?”

Ida nodded. “I wish to have them all together.”

Sadie continued. “And with any
Da Hah
gives the two of you. That could be quite a houseful. You’re still young, Ida. Of course, it’s not twelve like my brood.”

Ida turned all kinds of red. Of course Sadie would speak plainly. Hadn’t the work they’d been doing all night made it obvious what married couples could expect?

“I still want it,” Ida managed.

“Then you’d better be plain-speaking with Minister Kanagy.” Sadie gave Ida a steady look. “Take it from me. Speak your mind from the start—
before
the wedding vows are said.”

“I was going to tell him.” Ida nodded.

Sadie shook her finger at Ida. “You tell Minister Kanagy you want
all
of Melvin’s children brought under his roof. Don’t assume he knows this. Men must be told, you know.”

“Oh, I’m sure he’ll agree.” Ida’s voice trembled.

Sadie’s voice was firm. “You tell him there will be no marriage vows unless he brings all these children home. I’ve seen the kind of person you are, Ida. You’ll be giving that man more than he deserves in a
frau
. So make sure you’re getting your end of the deal.”

Ida glanced away as her face burned. “
Yah
, I’ll do what you say.”

“You do that!” Sadie squeezed her arm and disappeared toward the kitchen.

Ida followed, trying to collect her thoughts. With how Sadie said the words, Ida decided she would apparently need to stand up to Minister Kanagy. The thought sent chills up and down her spine.
She could almost see his piercing eyes staring at her. Her insides would turn to jelly, but Sadie was right. She must insist on his agreement
before
they said the vows. If Minister Kanagy told her after the wedding that all of Melvin’s children wouldn’t live with them, she would wish to curl up and die.

Sadie glanced at Ida over her shoulder. “And tell him you want to help me with delivering babies. That he has to agree to also!”