Finding Abigail (23 page)

Leaning back in
the chair with his cup in his hand, he asked, “What do you do?”

I moved back
over to the table and sat down. “I’m a writer.”

“That’s cool.”

I smiled and
nodded, acknowledging his comment. Then I decided it was time for him to go.
His close proximity was giving me the jitters. “Well, it was nice to meet you,
Noah, even though you woke me up so early.”

He raised an
eyebrow over the cup he was taking a drink out of. “Are you trying to get rid
of me?”

“No.” My voice
shook, and I couldn’t look him in the eye.

His smile
disappeared, his eyes flashed with a look of concern. “Okay.” He stood up,
gathered his paper, and turned around. “If you need anything, and I mean
anything, I’m right next door.” His face turned to a look I could only describe
as compassion. It was almost like he knew my secret and felt sorry for me. But
that couldn’t be, he admitted that he wanted to find it out.

Hermit

If I thought my
neighbor would take the hint and leave me alone, I was sorely mistaken. He
stopped by the next day to see if I needed anything at the hardware store. When
I mentioned the lawn chair, he took out the patio furniture he had put away for
the winter. He set it all up for me and moved the barbeque to the back of the
cottage onto the patio. Then with a smile he was on his way.

The next day,
he stopped by just before dinner with a dish of ham and scalloped potatoes. He
informed me he liked to cook but since there was only him, he had lots. Again,
he didn’t stay.

The third day
he stopped by to see if I wanted to go with him to his friend’s house so I
could meet some people. When I declined, he just said maybe next time and
closed the door behind him.

I really didn’t
understand this man. When I first met him, he seemed cocky, full of himself and
a little pushy. But as each day went by he was always stopping by to make sure
I was okay and ask if I needed anything. It couldn’t just be that he was in
charge of the cottages. I was beginning to think he was watching over me,
because of Sylvia. The fear that had appeared on our first two visits never
came out because he didn’t stay long enough for the emotion to rear its ugly
head. As the days turned into weeks, I actually started to look forward to his
quick visit. It was comforting to know that I wasn’t alone and someone was
there when I needed them.

A month after I
arrived in Shimmer Lake I was starting to go stir crazy. The only time I went
out was to the grocery store, and I never made eye contact with the locals,
hoping to avoid a conversation. I was craving human contact and I needed to
look at something other than the inside of the cottage.

It was a
beautiful may day. The wet weather had given us a bit of a reprieve so I
decided to go for a walk. I packed a sandwich and an apple and two bottles of
water. There was woodland across the road from the cottage and I had noticed
trails as I had driven by.

As I exited my
cottage, I stopped short. Noah was cleaning out his Jeep with the doors wide
open and Coldplay pumping out of the speakers. The smell of cleaner wafted from
his car. He glanced up and smiled. “Where are you off to?” he asked casually as
he buffed the dash of his car.

Apprehension
washed over me. “Why?”

“No reason,
just curious.” He turned away, but I could have sworn I saw a flash of hurt
wash over his face. He had been nothing but kind to me since I arrived, and
after four weeks, I still was short with him. I couldn’t help it. Every time I
looked at him, I saw a version of Nick. He had ruined me, plain and simple and
I was starting to think that I would never be able to look at another man
without fearing for my life.

Despite my
turmoil, I was also feeling guilty, and I answered him. “I thought I’d take a
walk through the trails I saw across the road.” I gestured with my hand in the
direction I was headed, even though he wasn’t facing me.

He turned back
around, the causal smile returning to his face. “Good idea. The trails are nice
this time of year.” He tossed the cloth over his shoulder. “Have fun.” He began
wiping the chrome on the door.

I hesitated,
waiting for him to say something else, but he didn’t. I walked away, feeling
silly for thinking this man would harm me. Sylvia wouldn’t have sent me here
otherwise.

Noah was right;
the trails were beautiful this time of year. The leaves were out and flowers
were starting to bud. The birds were chirping up a storm. I walked through a
worn path feeling myself relax. I hadn’t felt like this since the night Noah
arrived. I had intended to sit out each night to enjoy the sights and sounds of
the lake. But he made me nervous and I was afraid if I ventured out too much, I
would run into him. I saw him often sitting on his deck, beer in hand, watching
the boaters on the water. A couple of times he veered out himself with a
fishing rod poking out of his red flat-bottom boat.

A bird squawked
above me, pulling me out of my thoughts. Feeling thirsty I stopped to sit down
in a grove of lilacs. I leaned back and let the sun soak my face and breathed
in the scent of fresh new leaves and the cool, crisp air. Taking a sip of my
water, I wished I had brought my laptop along. It was the perfect environment to
write about talking chipmunks and mice.

I stayed about
an hour contemplating life without my family and wondering if I was to become a
hermit, or if I should start venturing out. The lack of human contact was
making me feel lonelier than living with a monster. Nick hadn’t found me yet,
so I should take advantage of my freedom and actually start to live it. As I
headed back to the cottage I vowed to make more of an effort. When I went to
the grocery store I would make eye contact, maybe even make a friend. The idea
of having someone to talk to brought a smile to my face.

When I
approached the cottage I saw Noah lying back on a lawn chair, with something
cooking on his barbeque. He glanced my way when I opened the door, and a smile
lit up his face. He always seemed happy to see me, no matter how coldly I
treated him. “How was the walk?” he called out.

“You were
right, it was beautiful.”

He nodded. “Can
I interest you in a beer and burger?” he asked, more out of habit than anything
else. He invited me almost weekly. I always declined and he always brought me
over a plate.

My standard
denial was on the tip of my tongue but the vow I made popped in my head.
“Sure,” I replied before I could over-analyze it.

His eyes
widened with shock. “Great, come on over.”

I laid my bag
against my door and headed over, my heart racing with nerves. I just had to
ignore it if I was going to try to have a life. When I stepped up onto his
deck, the tantalizing smell of the barbeque assaulted my senses, making me glad
for throwing caution to the wind. Since I had been hiding out for the last few
weeks, I was craving barbequed food. I had a taste of it when I first arrived,
and then I was cut off when I started to avoid Noah. Noah handed me a beer and
gestured for me to take a seat in the empty chair.

I complied and
took a sip of the beer. It was really cold, and it tasted good on this warm
day.

Noah checked
the burgers, and then sat down, his usual smile planted on his lips. “How are
you getting along in the cottage? No problems, I hope.”

He seemed
nervous, which for some reason put me at ease, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“No, everything’s great. I love the place. I couldn’t have asked for a better
sanctuary.”

He nodded and
jumped up to get plates out of the cottage. He came back with a caesar salad to
accompany the burgers. I took another drink of beer, feeling more relaxed with
each sip. During dinner Noah kept telling me jokes, as though he knew I was a
bit uneasy and wanted to make me comfortable. I really appreciated it; I hadn’t
laughed in a while and I did tonight. The burger and salad were delicious, but
I didn’t stay long. Yes, I wanted to branch out, but it was going to take time.
I said good night and thanked him. As I took a few steps toward the cottage, he
called out to me. “You’re not afraid of me anymore, are you?”

I froze,
uneasiness lurking inside me. “Why do you think I was afraid of you?”

“I could see it
in your eyes, on our first two meetings. I backed off because I hated to see
it. You need to know I would never hurt you. You are safe here.” His tone of
voice was so serious, his eyes full of emotion.

I gulped the
lump that had formed in my throat, fighting tears. My trust in men had taken a
dive the last year, but for some reason I knew I could thrust this man. I had no
words, so I simply nodded and turned away.

“Hey!” he
called. When I spun back around he continued, “I’m going to the Memorial Day
picnic tomorrow. Do you want to come?”

Again, my first
response was no, but my vow played through my mind, and I realized I had felt
relaxed all through dinner. I needed—no, craved—human contact and this was a
chance to get it. “Sure, sounds good.”

He grinned.
“Okay. Be ready at four.”

I nodded and
turned back around, heading to the cottage. A small smile played at my lips,
and it felt good. I hadn’t had much to smile about lately.

Fireworks

At four o’clock
the next day I stood outside by my car waiting. The idea of spending an
afternoon with not only Noah, but basically the whole town, was a bad idea—I
knew that. But I was tired of my own company and craved human contact. I had
been alone, without even talking on the phone, for a month. When I first
arrived, I wanted the quiet solace; now I couldn’t stand it.

So here I was,
freshly showered, hair pulled back in a barrette, and wearing a yellow
sundress. It was my first outing in Shimmer Lake and I felt the need to look
good.

I wasn’t the
only one trying to make a good impression. Noah came out of his house carrying
a small cooler strapped over his shoulder and a blanket tucked under an arm. He
was wearing a navy-blue polo shirt and khaki shorts. His hair looked damp from
his shower and was brushed haphazardly. His shirt enhanced the color of his
vivid blue eyes. When he walked toward me I caught a whiff of his cologne. He
smiled as he opened his car door, showing dimples. “Are you coming or not?” He
sat in the driver’s seat, leaning toward the passenger side window.

I opened the
door and got in. The inside of his Jeep was a tad messy, with a jacket and a pair
of sweats sprawled out in the back seat. There was an empty coffee cup in the
cup holder and a candy bar wrapper balled up in the console. The scent of
coffee still lingered. The radio was tuned to a classic rock station, and I
couldn’t help think of Nick. Did Noah’s liking the same music as my ex make him
a bad person? I doubted it; how could anyone who was a relative of Silvia be
anything but good? What did it matter what type of person he was? This was a
one-time deal. I would go with him, to get the craved socializing out of my
system, and then I’d go back to the cottage for a while. I’d come out every few
weeks when the craving arose again. I was okay with that; I had my novel’s
characters to keep me company. It had worked for years, why wasn’t it good
enough now?

He pulled into
the parking lot outside the park, waking me from my thoughts. We hadn’t said a
word as he drove. I was busy thinking, and he appeared comfortable with the
silence.

The park was
full of families sitting on blankets, and children running around playing in
the park and running into the water at the beach. It looked like the whole town
had come out to celebrate. I was having second thoughts when Noah opened his
door. I reached across the car and grabbed his arm to stop him from getting
out. “You know what?” I gasped, feeling panic building inside. For a year, I
hid from the world to hide what was happening to me, and this many people in
one place was slightly intimidating. “I don’t think this is a good idea. I
don’t know anyone—I don’t belong. I should go.” My words were rushed together,
expressing the panic I was feeling.

He turned to
face me, his eyes showing a hint of concern. “Whoa! Calm down.” He placed his
hand on my leg; his hand was warm and gentle. I flinched away and he pretended
not to notice.

“It’s okay.”
His words were soft, soothing. “It’s just a picnic. How are you going to meet
anyone if you stay in the cottage? Don’t worry, people around here are
friendly.” He got out, walked around the car, and opened my door. “You’re not
going to punch anyone, are you?” he asked with a smile, reminding me of the
first night we met. He closed the door behind me after I reluctantly climbed
out.

I pushed back
the fear that threatened at the reminder. I had thought Nick had found me. “Ha
ha. I told you, you startled me.” I reached for the blanket he was again
carrying, mainly to do something with my hands. I was nervous, and couldn’t get
rid of the butterflies having a party in my stomach.