All he could see was little Jake, riding his bike down the sidewalk and waving his little arms in greeting. He’d lost both his front teeth this summer and Ryan could still see his toothless grin.
“Jake!” he yelled and then yelled his name again. Nothing. He didn’t see or hear him anywhere. Had they been mistaken, had the little boy sneaked downstairs? Oh God, he hoped not.
He flung open the closet door, just in case the little guy had hidden inside. “Jake,” he called again and then paused; did he hear a cry? “Jake!” He paused and heard it again. Faintly. From the other side of the room.
Diving onto the floor, he pulled blankets out of the way. And there he was, huddled under the bed, a large stuffed bear in his arms.
“Come on buddy, I’ve got you,” he tried to sooth and pulled the boy out and into his arms. Jake was crying and coughing and trying to speak but Ryan hushed him. He unbuttoned his coat, opened it and said, “Come on, climb in.” Jake did as he was told and Ryan buttoned the protective coat back around him.
“We’ve got to get out of here, buddy,” he said. “Hold on tight, put your head down, and don’t let go.”
He heard a faint, “Okay.” Good enough. He stepped back into the hallway, ready to make a break for the stairs. He was going to make it. One step. Two. Three more before, crash, the ceiling caved in. Holy fuck.
He turned back to Jake’s room. It would be the window after all. He removed the boy from his coat and raised the glass, kicking out the screen.
“Daddy,” Jake was shouting through his coughs and Ryan could see Sam standing beneath them. The little boy threw his stuffed bear down and Ryan smiled… one life saved. Now, to get the rest of them out.
Looking around, he searched for anything he could use to lower the boy to the ground. Nothing. A plastic jump rope and the sheets from the bed. Damn. Sheets would have to do. He yanked them from the bed and tied them together before forming a make-shift harness to circle Jake’s small chest.
“Ready to be Superman?” Jake asked, trying to make it sound all fun and games. Jakes eyes widened in terror and then he nodded, his lower lip trembling.
“Coming down,” he shouted and was relieved to hear sirens in the distance. He wished he had time to wait for the ladder, but he didn’t. Flames were coming into the room, licking at the ceiling above him, drawn to the fresh oxygen coming from the window. It was now or never. He lowered Jake over the ledge, handing him down as quickly as he could.
Damn. The sheets weren’t long enough, he knew they wouldn’t be, but he was hoping they’d get him low enough. He yelled at Sam to “Catch” and then let go when it appeared the father was ready. Yes! The boy landed safely.
His turn.
He looked around, only one small blanket left. Not enough to waste time thinking about. No time to get the mattress out for a softer place to land. He would have to jump and hope for the best. Just as he climbed out the window, another crash exploded in his ears… the entrance to Jake’s bedroom collapsed, sending a burst of flames directly at him. He had hoped to hang from the ledge, to lessen the distance of the fall but found himself falling… falling…
Chapter 10
P
ain was everywhere. Some places a brutal lance. Others, a gentle throb. There was no escaping it.
He lifted a hand to explore himself and quickly lowered it when agony rippled through him. Safer to just open his eyes, inspect himself visually.
“Ryan? Oh thank God, you’re awake.”
He blinked several times to clear his vision and see Jess’ face hovering over him anxiously.
“What…” he tried to talk, but his voice came out barely over a whisper.
“Sshh, be still, don’t say anything. I’m calling a nurse.”
“Wait… water.” His throat was on fire but she was gone, the door closing softly behind her.
Moments later, two women entered. One a nurse and the other was clearly the doctor. Jess came in behind them, hovering near the door, her face a mask of worry.
“Welcome back, Mr. James. I’m Dr. Steadman, critical care specialist. Do you know where you are?”
“Hospital,” he managed to rasp out, then wanted to punch the woman for asking such a silly question. “Wha hap?” He couldn’t manage more. “Water,” he finally said.
“Yes, you’re at Mercy General in the intensive step-down unit. Let me do a quick assessment and then we’ll see about that water.”
She poked and prodded until he was grinding his teeth but Ryan kept his gaze fastened on Jess to give him much needed strength. Finally, she seemed satisfied and poured an inch of ice water in a cup and lifted the straw to his mouth. It was heaven but he could only take a few sips before starting to cough. It was enough and he felt better with just that tiny amount.
“Before I list your injuries, I thought you would want to know that the little boy you saved is doing just fine,” Dr. Steadman said, her eyes soft with compassion. “It was a very brave thing for you to do. Foolish, but brave. I’m afraid you’ve paid quite a price.”
He waited, afraid to ask.
“The good news is that I expect you to heal completely, but it will take a while. As I’m sure you realize, you have significant smoke inhalation and are being treated aggressively. You landed on your left side, which resulted in four broken ribs, a broken collar bone, dislocated shoulder and a severe concussion. There was also internal bleeding which resulted in your spleen being removed.”
He said nothing, waiting for her to go on. He felt sure she would add several more broken somethings to the list. When she didn’t, he licked his lips to give them a tiny bit of moisture before managing to ask, “How long?”
“You’ve been here four days.”
Shit. “Home?” he rasped out.
“I plan on keeping you here for at another twenty-four hours, possibly forty-eight. Your incisions from the splenectomy are healing nicely but, now that you’re conscious, I’ll want to monitor you closely for complications from the smoke inhalation as well as the concussion.”
“But…”
“No buts,” Dr. Steadman gave him her best authoritative stare. “You are very lucky to be alive and I plan on keeping you that way.”
****
True to her word, Ryan was in the hospital for the next two days and Jess hardly ever left his side. Because he could barely talk, she just sat near him, holding his hand and spooning warm broth and Jell-O in his mouth.
Once he was transferred from the step-down unit to a regular hospital room, all the guys from the fire hall came to visit. The Jernigan’s came too, all tears and thank yous. Little Jake even brought him a stuffed teddy bear of his own.
“You… very… brave,” Ryan whispered to the boy who was on the bed and curled against his right side.
“When I grow up, I’m gonna be a fireman too,” Jake said, nodding emphatically. “That way I save people like you do.”
“And teddy bears.”
“Yep, ‘specially teddies.”
The next morning he was released and Shane and Jess got him home and into his own bed. It was wonderful, sinking into the familiar pillows and he realized someone had washed his sheets and blankets because they smelled wonderful.
“Thank you.” He was talking better now. Still hoarse but definitely better.
“You’re very welcome. Need anything?”
“Just you.”
Jess smiled and leaned forward to kiss his lips and then curl on the bed next to him. It felt wonderful having her so close. It took a moment for him to realize she was crying.
“Jess, baby, why are you crying?”
She shook her head but didn’t look at him. “I thought I’d lost you, Ryan.”
He kissed the top her head and hushed her, saying, “But you didn’t, I’m right here.”
“The past few days have been such a wake-up call for me.” She sniffed and wiped her nose on the back of her hand. “I realize how stupid I’ve been. How selfish.”
Hope flickered in his chest. “And…” he prompted.
“And, I realized I want you and need you and the risk of being hurt is worth the being… just being with you.”
He closed his eyes, the words a balm to his soul.
“I’m still scared,” she went on. “But I’m going to face the fear… if you’ll still have me.”
Her vulnerability left his shaken but in the very best way. Tears burned behind his eyelids and he quickly blinked them away. He smiled and nodded. “I’ve loved you from the moment I met you. I knew, the first time I touched you, the first time we kissed, I knew you were the woman I was meant to be with.” More tears fell from her eyes and onto his chest. “I want to spend my life with you, Jess.
You
. No one else.” Her breath hitched on a sob. She lifted her face and he kissed her with a tenderness that surprised him, a tenderness he didn’t know he possessed. “Do you love me, Jess?”
“Yes.”
It took a moment for her answer to register in his mind. After all they’d been through he half expected her to say no. “Say it. I need to hear you say it.”
She rested her forehead on his and closed her eyes. “I love you, Ryan. I love you so much I can’t breathe at times.”
“Then it’s time to stop pushing me away. You’re afraid I’m going to cheat on you… hurt you? Well, I’m terrified I’m going to wake up some morning and you’re going to be long gone again. We just have to trust each other.”
Jess blew out a shaky breath and nodded.
“I know how hard it is for you, but I swear I will never hurt you. Baby, give this a chance. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, just a chance.”
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered after a moment, her face crumbling into fresh tears.
His heart sank, and he let his head fall to the back onto the pillow. Not again. If she told him she couldn’t trust him, that she wasn’t going to give them a chance, then he was done. He’d have no choice. He couldn’t keep doing this to himself.
“I’m sorry for how much I’ve hurt you, Ryan. You didn’t deserve any of it.”
He swallowed the lump in his throat. “What do
you
want, Jess? If you tell me you want me out of your life for good, then I’ll go, and you’ll never hear—”
“I want to give you the life that Vikki stole from you.”
His eyes widened and his heart raced. “What?” Did he just hear her correctly? Jess wanted marriage and kids? With him?
“Well, it’s obvious we can’t be friends,” she said and then laughed.
He smiled, laughing was still out of the question. “And if we could? Would that change things? Would you still insist on being my friend and not my lover?”
“I don’t know. You’re pretty damn persistent.” Her eyes had that familiar spark back in them.
He laughed and kissed her again, this time wincing as he moved a little too far.
“Promise me. Promise you’ll never run away again.”
She smiled and nodded, cupping his face in her palm. “I promise.”
He heaved a sigh of relief, his head relaxing in the soft pillows. “Good. Because I’d have a hard time chasing after you this time.” He turned to look at her and winked. “But I would.”
The End
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