Faithfully (9 page)

             
“Look at me.” I was raising my voice. “You said you would listen, so sit and listen.” I was panicked.

             
“How the fuck do you expect me to sit down? I want to kill him.” Alex took a step back and started to pace and was running his fingers through his hair. “Someone better start talking before I explode.” He looked like a caged animal at the moment. I thought I better start talking.

             
“In Portland, remember when I came back from my run and I told you I tripped and face planted into a tree?” I didn’t wait for him to acknowledge or respond because I knew he remembered. “I didn’t exactly trip. I mean, I did face plant into the tree with the help of Johnny.” Alex turned and was ready to march over, but I pushed him back as I continued speaking. “We had words—”

Johnny interrupted me
. “Actually, I had words. I didn’t let her speak.” I was wishing he would shut the hell up at this point and let me talk. I shot him a look that let him know I wanted to kill him at the moment.

             
“Anyway, he had words, he hit me. I kneed him in the nuts and went back to the hotel.” I was trying to make it sound like no big deal. “I was going to tell you, but Steve thought you wouldn’t help Johnny if you knew, and I know you wouldn’t, and obviously he needed your help.”

             
“Steve knew too? Who else knew? I probably look like a fucking idiot helping this son of a bitch and nobody felt the need to tell me.”

             
“Sam, but don’t be mad at her. She wanted me to tell you the truth. I just couldn’t. Lexi knows, and I just told my dad last week.” I felt ashamed of myself at that moment.

             
“Did you ever have plans on filling me in or were you waiting on me to be blindsided with this shit?” Alex’s anger was now turning on me and I knew I deserved it.

             
“I was trying to last week, but I couldn’t get the timing right, and on the plane I told you I wanted to talk and you know where that went. I never thought that we would be dealing with it again ever.” I turned and looked at Johnny, letting him know I wanted to keep this buried, but he didn’t allow it to be any longer.

             
“You lied. It was a good lie too. I believed you. How many more lies have you told me? Anymore surprises I should know about?” I knew I deserved it, but his words were cutting me.

             
“Oh my God, no. I hated lying to you, but I did it for you. He is your family, along with Sam and Steve. They are your family, and knowing the truth then would have made you turn your back on him, but he needed you. If you didn’t help and something happened to him, you would have blamed yourself, and I would be to blame.” It was true; as much as I was being selfish lying to him, I did it because I thought he would resent me later if he didn’t help Johnny.

             
“It’s not her fault. I put her in a bad position. I fucked up and I needed to tell her I was sorry. I need to tell both of you how sorry I am. You and Steve are my only family. I was jealous you found someone and that I was being left all alone. I’ve never been without you guys.” I could hear the words coming from Johnny’s mouth and knew it was true. I was starting to feel bad for him again.

             
I didn’t know what else to say and everyone remained quiet. Alex kept pacing and Johnny and I both just stared at him. I wanted to run up and place my arms around him, but was scared I’d be rejected, so I didn’t move.

             
Alex was the first one to speak. “I need to leave and clear my head.” He was looking at Johnny now. “I don’t think I can call you family anymore.” I was shocked at the harshness in Alex’s voice.

             
“Alex,” I started to talk, but he interrupted and I stopped.

             
“And you, the woman who preaches truth, I can’t listen to this right now. I need to go someplace and think.” Alex turned and walked out of the room, and a few seconds later, I heard the front door slam. I wanted to cry, but I wasn’t going to cry in front of Johnny. I sank down onto the couch and placed my head into my hands.

             
Johnny came over and sat next to me. He didn’t touch me. After a short while, he finally spoke. “I know what will help.”

             
I looked up. “I’m not hungry.” I was thinking he wanted to fix it with food.

             
“No, come on. Let’s take a walk on the beach.”
              I reluctantly got up and followed him down the stairs to a door that led to a small outside deck with wood stairs leading to the beach. Johnny kicked off his shoes and I did the same. We headed down by the water and started walking. At first we walked in silence, and then he started to talk. I heard about his childhood. His dad was an alcoholic and his mother left because of it. He told me how he met Alex and Steve. The more he talked the more I liked him. He was a good person, and Sam was right. If I would just give him a chance I would see it, and I was. At the moment I felt better about what I did, because Alex needed to help him, and I was praying they could fix things.

             
Johnny was interested in my life, too. He asked questions. I could tell Sam had filled him in on some things, but not a whole lot. I explained my marriage to David, told him about the girls and my parents. We had walked for at least an hour and the sand, smell of the ocean, and conversation made me feel a bit better like he said. I was still worried about Alex and making things right with him.

             
“I appreciate this, all of it. I never expected you to apologize and I had written you off, but I’m glad I listened to Sam. You are a decent guy, but I think I should get back and fix things with Alex.” Johnny placed his arm around me and led me back towards the stairs.

             
“He loves you too much to stay angry. Plus, if he is stupid enough to let you go, I could move to Michigan.” We both were laughing and smiling when we reached the steps. When I looked up, I saw Alex sitting in the middle of the steps waiting for us to come back. I was happy to see him, but scared at the same time. The smile on my face dropped when I looked at his emotionless face.

             
Alex was looking at me. “We need to talk.” He didn’t say anything or even look at Johnny, and he stood and started to walk down the stairs. When he got to me, he took my hand and led me down by the water. When we got there, he sat in the sand and I plopped down next to him. “I talked to Sam and she put things in a different perspective. She put me in your shoes.” I loved Sam more and more. “First, I wasn’t ever really mad at you back there. I mean, I was angry you lied, but I was mad at myself because I didn’t protect you.” Alex tucked his leg under the other and turned to face me. The sun was bright, and made it hard really to look into his eyes. “It’s my job to protect you, and I didn’t stop it from happening. I should have gone with you or I should have made you stay in the room–” I immediately interrupted him.

             
“You couldn’t have known, and you had issues to hash out with Steve. There were other things more important at the time.”

             
“That is the thing; there isn’t anything more important than you and the girls. I need you to understand that.” Alex reached over and rubbed his hand across my cheek. I knew he meant it.

             
“So where did you go?”

             
“The driveway. I paced back and forth for a while, and then I called Sam, who talked sense into me.” He started to laugh. “She needs a class on tact, but she always seems to tell you how it is, harsh or not.” I immediately smiled, because it was true.

             
“Hey, you know I love you, right?” I was really looking at him when I said it. “I promise that is the only lie I have ever told you. I feel like a fucking hypocrite and—”

             
Before I could finish, Alex put his finger to my lip to quiet me. He leaned in and kissed me. I scooted up onto his lap and placed my armed around his neck. When we broke apart, Alex spoke first. “The only way I can get past this is to forgive both of you. I don’t want to forgive him. I want to punch him in the goddamn face, but it won’t fix anything.” I knew this was Sam talking and not Alex.

             
“I like him,” I immediately said. Alex looked at me and made a slight face. “I had the chance to really talk to him and Sam was right, he is a good guy. As much as he doesn’t want to blame the drugs and alcohol, I can’t see this guy doing what the guy in Portland did.” I wasn’t making an excuse for him. “I understand he wants to own up to everything he did, but if we don’t forgive him he might start using again. He loves you, and I think your forgiveness is what will help keep him clean.” I could tell how he talked about Alex on the walk how much he looked up to him and cared for him.

             
“I’ll talk to him, and I think you are right. I’m just so pissed off.”

             
“If I can forgive him, you definitely can, because you are a way better person than I am.” I gave him another kiss before I stood up. I reached down, grabbed his hands, and pulled him up.

             
“Sam is on her way to pick you up. She plans on taking you to dinner. I’m going to talk to Johnny and head back to the studio with Eric.” I was kind of bummed he would be gone again, but I knew he really wanted to get the auditions and studio tests done here so that it didn’t take away from our time back in Michigan.

             
We headed into the house and saw Johnny at the counter in the kitchen. He seemed uneasy when he looked at us coming into the room. I walked over and gave him a hug. I think it surprised him as much as it surprised me.

“Thank you for making me come
out here to California. I never would have given you a chance or forgiven you.” I paused a second before the next unexpected thing came out of my mouth. “What are you doing for Thanksgiving?” I could feel both sets of eyes on me, but after the walk on the beach, I realized he needed family around as much as anyone.

             
“I guess I never thought about it. I’m probably just going to stay here.” This made me sad, but let me know I was doing the right thing.

             
“If you aren’t busy, why don’t you fly to Michigan and have Thanksgiving with us? It will be the girls, my parents, Sam, Derek, Lexi and my Godfather, Bruce. It’s basically a shit show, and if anything, you would be entertained. If you need to think about it take your time, but Alex has plenty of space at his house.” I was hoping he would say yes.

             
Johnny had a smile on his face, and I thought for sure he was going to say yes. “I’ll think about it, but the fact you can even ask me after what I did lets me know you are way too good for Alex. Maybe we should date.” He winked at me before looking over at Alex.

             
“I didn’t hit you earlier, but I’m about to lay your ass out on this floor in about thirty seconds.” I could hear the amusement in Alex’s voice. I was glad things were settling down. Alex pulled his phone from his pocket, then slid it back in. “Sam is pulling in. I’ll walk you out, but I’m coming back to talk to you,” he said, looking over at Johnny.

             
Alex took my hand and walked me out. He pulled my hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it. “That was nice of you. You didn’t have to invite him for Thanksgiving.”

             
“I know I didn’t, but could we really just let him stay here alone? He’s working on his sobriety. He needs people around who can help him. Plus, Thanksgiving is a family holiday. Get him to come, for me,” I said in a pouty voice and stuck my bottom lip out. Alex leaned in and kissed me. “Oh, and promise you’ll be a good boy and not hit anyone while I’m away.”

             
“Shut up and go. I will talk to him about going, but no promises on the hitting.” He kissed me on the forehead and then turned me away from him, and before he could swat me on the ass, I stepped aside. This was becoming a familiar move on his part.

~9~

             
Sam didn’t question me when we got in the car. I knew she knew what went on after talking to Alex. I should probably thank her, but thought I would talk to her later. Instead I wanted to keep things light. The last few hours had been emotionally draining, and all the heart to heart talks were not me.

             
“I’m starving, since lunch didn’t have any lunch involved,” I told Sam as we were heading back to LA.

             
“I figured as much, so I have a great day planned without shopping.” It kind of sounded like she was sulking a bit. “We will grab something light, and then do a few touristy things, because everyone needs to see the Chinese Theater, the Walk of Fame, and the farmer’s market. Then you will return the favor after saving your butt today.” She looked over and smiled.

             
“That wasn’t done because you want me to be your sister-in-law? You just wanted a favor out of me? That sounds kind of greedy,” I said jokingly.

             
“The sister-in-law thing will happen anyway. I just didn’t feel like dragging out the drama. You will do me a favor by speeding the whole process up.” Sam actually seemed serious. I wasn’t sure what this favor could be and was a little scared to ask.

             
“So what am I doing? Will I be an accomplice to a bank robbery?”

             
“No. Alex thinks I know nothing about music, and he is relying too much on Eric, who is giving him shit artists. I’ve been wanting him to hear this chick Paige play for months. She has a great sound, but he won’t listen to me. I found the bar she is playing at tonight and you will get him there to listen to her. I don’t care how you do it, but you will get him there. Then we will be even Steven.” I liked how she thought, and she was right. Every time she called to talk to him about an artist, he told her Eric was handling everything and it wasn’t her job.

             
“I will be glad to help.”

             
We had a bite to eat at a trendy little restaurant and then Sam dragged me around, taking my picture and asking people to take our picture at different sites around the city. The best part was the farmer’s market. They had everything. I ate fresh donuts and bought homemade peanut butter and strawberry jam for breakfast. There were so many smells and things to see. If I lived here this would be one of my favorite places to visit.

             
By the time we were done with everything it was dinner time. I called Alex to see if he could or wanted to meet us, but he was behind schedule. Alex stayed longer than expected to talk to Johnny, so he had to pass on the dinner. I did get him to tell me he didn’t hit him, but we would talk when we both got to the house. A few months ago I would have worried myself with what he needed to talk about, but now I was so comfortable with where we were in the relationship that I didn’t let it bother me.

             
Sam took me to a nice restaurant. It seemed upscale, but laid back. Everyone was dressed pretty casually, so I wasn’t worried about what I had on. We finally talked about the events at Johnny’s house, and I had to admit to her that I actually liked him. She seemed pleased with herself. We shared a bottle of wine with our meal and got a few desserts at the end to share. I was stuffed and slightly miserable when we left. Sam thought it was too early to go to the bar to scope out the artist, but we headed there anyway. She thought we could catch a few bands before the girl she wanted me to see went on.

             
It took a while to get there, and the fact I was seeing bars all over windows on the way was a bit worrisome. Sam kept reassuring me it was fine and that she hit this spot a lot by herself. I had no choice but to trust her. When we pulled in, the bar had lots of neon lights of beer brands flashing from windows and a giant light up sign out front. There wasn’t a line to get in, but it was still early for the bar scene. Sam walked in and grabbed a tall round table and two bar stools easily. A few minutes later a waitress with a full arm sleeve and multiple piercings asked us what we wanted to drink. I had to pass, since I was still full from dinner and I couldn’t fit anything else in my body at the moment.

             
I heard a voice while approaching the table. “I feel like you are stalking me.” I looked around and saw a lean girl with fire engine red hair, pierced nose, and a tank that showed off her toned arms approaching the table. Sam had a smile on her face.

             
“Paige, this is my secret weapon, Abby. Abby, this is Paige, the girl I brought you here to listen to.” Sam was pointing back and forth between us as she made the introductions.

             
I reached my hand out to shake hers. “It’s nice to meet you.” I felt like she was examining me as she took my hand. I was able to get a better look at Paige. She was in her mid-twenties and very pretty. She had a lot of makeup on, but she looked like the type who was just as pretty with zero to minimal makeup. Paige reached over and shook my hand. She didn’t say anything to me, but turned to talk to Sam.

             
“How is she going to get your brother to listen to me?” Her tone and the way she said it pissed me off. I almost felt like she didn’t think I could do it, and a part of me wanted to walk out and not do it, but the other part made me want to show her how I could.

             
“Never underestimate the power a woman has over a man,” Sam said back with a wink. Paige walked away from the table after a little more small talk with Sam. Paige basically ignored me like I wasn’t there, and I wasn’t sure what her problem was. I wasn’t sure I liked her, but I told Sam I would do this for her. I knew this meant a lot to her, so I couldn’t bail now.

             
“So how do you expect me to get your brother here?” I still wasn’t sure how this was all going to play out.

             
“Easy – just call him and tell him what part of town you are in and that we are at this bar and some guys are making you feel uneasy. He will rush here to save you.”

             
“No, I’m not lying again. No guy is making me feel uneasy.”

             
“Look around.” I did as she continued to talk. “Now do you feel uneasy?” The crowd was not my kind of crowd, and I didn’t realize how much I stood out in my floral sundress. Everyone was dressed in leathers, piercings, and black leather boots. People were looking at me as if I didn’t belong. I was now feeling uneasy. I looked back at Sam and she handed me her phone.

             
I dialed Alex’s number and let it ring a few times. I thought his voice mail would pick up. “What?” I was taken aback by his tone. He never answered the phone like that with me.

             
“Sorry, is this a bad time?”

             
“Abby, no, I thought you were Sam. I’m sorry. This just isn’t going how I had planned. What are you guys up to?” I looked over at Sam to see that she was grinning.

             
“Well, we are at a bar in the University Park area and Sam went off to the bathroom.” A lie. “I’m feeling a tad uneasy. I don’t want to ditch her, but I was hoping you could come down and be with me.” I was feeling guilty. Obviously he was busy.

             
“I’ll be right there, text me the address.” He hung up the phone before I could say anything else. I wasn’t sure if he was pissed or not. I reached over to give the phone back to Sam.

             
“Text him the address.”

             
“This is why I want you as my sister-in-law.” She had a grin on her face.

             
We listened to the first few bands and I was not impressed. I wasn’t sure if it was the fact that I didn’t like their music or the fact that all they did was yell into the mic. The group was getting off the stage and I saw Paige and her band setting up. I looked at Sam and was about to warn her that if Paige sounded this bad, she was going to owe me. I didn’t get a chance, because Alex showed up and was standing at the table.

             
He leaned in and kissed me before talking to Sam. “Why the fuck would you bring her here?” He seemed pissed at Sam.

             
Sam didn’t look fazed at all by his tone. After years of it, she was probably immune to him. It still startled me, because I rarely, if ever, heard it, and it was never directed at me.
              “Have a drink and you’ll feel better. Don’t get all pissy with me because Eric sucks at his job.” Sam turned away to grab a passing waitress, and then she turned and looked at the stage. I followed her gaze and saw Paige and the band were about to start. Paige started around the same time the drinks showed up. Alex grabbed a stool and sat right behind me. His stool was slid right up next to mine and his legs were straddling so they were on both sides of my stool. He pulled me back into his chest. We sat like that and listened to Paige as she started.

             
Like always, Sam was right. Paige had a great sound. At times it was gravelly and raspy, and at others it was bold and fierce. It was a unique sound, and I loved listening to her. I had never heard the songs before, so they must be hers or the groups. They were different. A lot of the songs sounded sad and painful. After about thirty minutes they took a break. Sam got up and walked over to Paige. I sat up and turned to Alex, who was watching Sam and Paige at the side of the stage.

             
“So what did you think?”

             
Alex looked down at me. “I think I was set up.” He was looking me in the eyes and I wasn’t sure if he was mad at me or not.

             
“Wait, I can explain. I owed Sam.” I didn’t get to finish because Alex interrupted.

             
“I’m not mad. I’m just thinking that now you owe me and I am just thinking of all the ways I can be repaid.” He leaned down to kiss me, but was interrupted by a throat clearing. We both looked over to see Sam and Paige standing at the table.

             
“Alex, I want you to meet someone. Alex, this is Paige. Paige, this is my brother, Alex.” Sam seemed happy with herself.

             
Alex reached his hand over the table to shake Paige’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you.” Paige seemed a bit more excited to shake Alex’s hand than mine. I knew it shouldn’t irritate me, but it did.

             
“My brother is looking for a new artist right now.” Sam shot Alex a look.

             
“Is this the girl you kept calling me about?” He was looking at Sam slightly irritated, yet amused.

             
“Yes, and luckily for me you guys needed to come to town. Since you wouldn’t listen to me on the phone, I thought this was the best way to get you to listen.”

             
Alex reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He unfolded it and pulled out a card. He looked at Paige and asked, “Do you have any plans tomorrow? If you don’t, call this guy. His name is Eric, and he will set you up with a time to meet at the studio. I’d like to take a better listen to your band tomorrow.” He handed her the card.

             
Sam and Paige both had a huge smile on their faces. “Not anymore. We will be there.” She turned to Sam and gave her a hug.

             
“I take it you can get yourself home fine?” He was looking at Sam. “I have a debt to cash in on.” Alex reached for my hand and gently pulled me to my feet.

             
“Thanks for today. I had fun. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Sam came around the table and gave me a hug.

             
“Thank you, and have a goodnight.”

             
Alex and I made our way through the crowd and into his Range Rover. I looked at the clock and saw it was quarter to one. I was surprised at the time.

             
“Twice in a day you lied to me,” I heard Alex say. I looked over at him and felt awful. I was about to apologize, but then he smiled. “I love you, and you don’t need to apologize. I know why you did it.” He leaned in and kissed me.

             
We didn’t get a chance to talk on the way home because he was on the phone with Eric. He told him to cancel the rest of the groups and open the studio tomorrow. He told Eric he found the group he wanted to work with and thought they could lay down a few test tracks the next day. I was happy for Alex, but also bummed. I was getting no time with him out here.

             
When we got to the house, Alex walked me in with his arm around my waist. When we got to the door, he leaned in and whispered in my ear before opening the door, “You have a debt to repay.”

             
“Mr. Morgan, I’m feeling like a prostitute at the moment with all this talk of repayment in sex.”

             
“No, you’re at least a high class call girl.” He then scooped me up and carried me in. That night I did more than repay. There were pre-payments made for future events.