Faithfully (20 page)

             
“Hello?” I said in my cheeriest voice.

             
“What the fuck are you doing?” It was Sam, and I wasn’t sure where the anger in her voice was coming from. Plus, it was like five in the morning there.

             
“Well, I just got out of bed and about to make coffee. Why are you up at five in the morning?”

             
“I’ve been fielding fucking calls since five last night dealing with you and Johnny.” What the fuck was she talking about? I was confused since there was no me and Johnny.

             
“Okay, say that again, this time slower.”

             
“I’m not being funny. Are you cheating on my brother?” I couldn’t believe she was saying this to me.

             
“What the fuck? No, I’m not cheating on your brother. I’m not sure what you are even talking about.” I wanted to hang up on her, but I wanted to know what was going on. Johnny rounded the corner and was holding out his phone with a video on the screen. It was a clip of the girls and me with him at the diner and then of us leaving and us falling on the ice. Even if you didn’t know what was happening, it did look bad. “That? We were cutting down a Christmas tree and stopped for dinner.”

             
“I didn’t even tell you what it was.” Sam sounded surprised.

             
“Johnny just showed me.” As the words came out, I knew it sounded bad being so early in the morning.

             
“Alex said he didn’t come back last night.” Sam sounded pissed.

             
“Okay, jealous one, we are going to have a talk, so sit and listen.” I was now pissed. “You have been fucking ignoring me since you left. You didn’t care about the picture of Alex with Paige, yet you want to jump my shit about the video with Johnny, which for the record shows nothing. Clearly you aren’t concerned about Alex and me. You are jealous that people are implying I have something going on with Johnny. So if you have feelings for him maybe you should deal with it tomorrow when you get here.”

             
“I was worrying about my brother,” Sam quickly fired back at me.

             
“Bullshit and you know it. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I was still mad. I hung up the phone without saying bye.

             
I looked up at Johnny and rolled my eyes. It was way too early for this much drama. I walked over to make coffee. Johnny walked up and stood in front of me. “So do you think she is really jealous?” I swatted him and we were both laughing. I put my forehead on his chest.

             
“What the fuck?” I looked up and saw Alex standing in the entry of the kitchen. Neither of us had heard him come in.

             
I let out a loud breath and didn’t have the energy to deal with this again.

             
“As much as I want to be a part of this, I’m leaving. Actually, I’m going to wake the girls and take them to breakfast. I’m sure you can wait until we are gone to talk.” He was addressing Alex. When Johnny went to walk by, Alex grabbed his shirt. Johnny coolly removed his hand. “Remember who you need to be pissed at. It isn’t me or her.” He shot a glimpse at me over his shoulder. 

             
I followed Johnny upstairs and helped him get the girls up. By the time they actually left, it was close to nine. I went back downstairs, gave Johnny the keys to my car, and walked to the kitchen where the girls were giving Alex morning hugs and telling him all about the Christmas tree we cut down the day before. I poured myself a cup of coffee and let them talk before pushing them out the door. I was enjoying the fact they were filling him in on all that he had missed the day before.

             
I refilled my cup and walked into the living room with it. I sat on the couch and tucked my legs under me as I waited for Alex to walk into the room. He followed, carrying his cup of coffee. I wasn’t starting the conversation, because I was still pissed about the tree farm.

             
“I should have gone with you yesterday. I screwed up.” Alex sat on the coffee table across from me. I looked at him and didn’t say anything. “The texts, the message on the phone, I’m sorry.” I hadn’t read the texts and was now wondering what they said. “When Johnny went with you, I realized I screwed up. The recording wasn’t going that well, so I had a drink, followed by another, and when Sam called me about the video of you two, I started drinking more and going out of my mind.” Alex set the coffee down on the table. “I know you wouldn’t mess around, and I know Johnny is a good enough guy that he wouldn’t buddy fuck me. I was drunk and pissed at myself.” He got on his knees in front of me. “I was jealous that he was doing the family thing and I missed it.” He placed his head on my knee and arms around me.

             
I set my coffee cup on the table and my hands on his head. “I’m pissed at you for bailing on us yesterday, like really mad.” Alex picked his head up and looked at me. “I was so mad that I didn’t read your texts this morning, so if you don’t want me to see them go upstairs and delete them.” I knew if I read them and if they were slightly mean, it would infuriate me even more, so not knowing was my best bet at this moment.

             
At first he didn’t move, just stayed there with his head resting on my lap. I was no longer pissed like I was that he missed yesterday. I saw that he realized what an important family day it was, and he never really had to worry about these things before. I couldn’t keep punishing him for these types of mistakes. It was a process for both of us.

             
When I got out of the shower and walked into the room, I saw Alex on the bed and my phone by his side. “I deleted them.”

             
“Good. Haven’t you learned anything from me in the past six months? Never keep your cell phone with you while you drink.” I remembered back to the awful calls I made to him and a few I don’t recall ever making.

             
“There are a lot of things I’ve learned from you. I’ve started to compile a list.” He started to laugh as he laid back on the bed. 

             
“What time do you have to start today?” I knew he would have to leave soon.

             
“I told everyone we needed a break, so I’m sending them home a few days early. I can’t take it anymore.” I wasn’t sure what he couldn’t take anymore, but it made me happy he was free for the next few days.

             
I jumped up on the bed next to him and bounced on it. “So you will get to decorate the tree with us today.” I was excited.

             
“Yes, but can we take a nap right now?” He grabbed me, pushed me down on the bed, and plopped next to me.

             
“Nope, you play you pay. I believe that’s how it goes.” I got up and went to finish getting ready. “Plus, they should be back soon from breakfast.”

             
“Ugh, at least I’ll sleep well tonight. I’ll have my bed partner back.” Alex sat up on his elbows.

             
“You could have had your bed partner last night, but I’m not going to talk about it.” I shot him a look.

             
“Funny, sounds like you are talking about it.” He got up, walked over to me, and gave me a kiss. “You do know that with this video coming out and that picture with Paige and me, there is going to be a lot of stuff thrown around in the tabloids. Are you ready for it?” I hadn’t thought about it.

             
“Do I have a choice?” He didn’t respond, because we both knew the answer.

             
When the girls returned, I told Johnny to keep my car for the day. I told him we would decorate the tree in the afternoon if he wanted to come back to help. He chose to skip it and give us some time alone, but said he would come back for dinner.

             
Alex was slightly overwhelmed by the decorating of the tree. The girls showed him all the decorations they had made for the tree from the time they were three to now. They put up all the ornaments they had since they were babies, and just getting those on left very little room for miscellaneous ornaments. 

             
I hadn’t thought much about dinner, so I threw in a frozen lasagna and garlic bread. So I actually felt like I made something, I tossed a salad. When Johnny returned, the tree was completely decorated and the girls put their homemade gifts from school under the tree. They were so excited. Alex had them at the coffee table and was coloring with them. Johnny came in and asked if I needed help, and after seeing what was in the oven, he realized no help was needed.

             
The night and day were perfect. We didn’t do anything, but that was what we needed; a day for us to spend together at home. I had been missing it, and I knew the girls had as well. The best feeling was crawling into bed and having Alex next to me. I had missed his smell and warmth at night. Alex wrapped me up in his arms and was out in less than a minute. He was tired, but it was his own fault, and I didn’t feel bad for him. I also didn’t feel bad throwing my elbow into him when he started to snore.

~17~

             
The few days leading up to Christmas were crazy busy. I had a lot to do. I had last minute shopping and helping to get the food ready for Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner. My dad got sick, so I was needed to help cover a few private Christmas parties at the pub. There had to be at least one O’Hare there to greet guests.

Alex went and picked Sam up at the commercial airport a few hours away. I wasn’t sure why he didn’t fly her private
as he had always done, but what he does with his sister and money wasn’t my business.

             
Sam was quiet when she arrived. I missed the Sam who would joke and was basically in your face. I needed to find the time to talk to her before she left. I was worried our friendship had changed over everything that had happened the last few months.

             
The girls and I didn’t stay at Alex’s. I wanted the girls in their own house on Christmas morning. Alex stayed with me, and Sam and Johnny stayed at the house. Well, Johnny across the driveway. I did get a chance to ask him if they talked and he said once Sam was in the house he usually didn’t see her until they came back to mine. I could tell he was upset about it.

             
Christmas Eve had always been at my parents. The girls got to open one gift, which were always new pajamas. This time, Lily was not enjoying the fact they were all matching until Alex gave Sam and me a box to open and we also had matching Christmas pajamas. I wanted to laugh at the corniness of the idea of wearing matching pajamas as the girls, but Alex was into the idea. He had matching pajama pants and so did Johnny. I rolled my eyes mentally.

             
We didn’t stay long at my parent’s house. My dad still didn’t seem one hundred percent, so we left early so he could rest. Sam and I lingered to help clean up. On the drive back to my house was my only chance to pin her down and talk to her.

             
“What is going on? Are you still mad about the video and phone call?” Currently it was the only thing I could think of.

             
“No, I’m just not happy.” Sam brought her elbow up to the window and rested her head on her hand.

             
“Listen, I’m your friend, and I’m here if you need to talk about anything.” I reached over and squeezed her other hand. “I mean it. I’m sorry I said I didn’t want to get involved with you and Johnny, but I’ll listen and not tell Alex if that is what you want.”

             
Sam just looked straight ahead. There was no pushing her, and I wasn’t forcing anything. We sat in silence until we pulled into the driveway.

             
“I hate LA, I have no clue why I’m with Brian, and I don’t know if Johnny really can change,” she let all out at once.

             
“Well, leave LA, tell Brian to take a hike, and give Johnny one more chance and tell him it’s his last.” I thought it sounded pretty simple, but then again, I was looking from the outside in.

             
“Where will I go, here? If I move back in with my brother I will look pathetic.” She shook her head.

             
“No, you won’t. You are moving to where you have family. Am I pathetic because I moved back home after college to be near my parents?” I didn’t wait for a response. “You need family, it’s what grounds you.”

             
“Then this whole Brian thing. He asked me to marry him before I left.”
              I didn’t let her finish.

             
“What, seriously?” I was shocked.

             
“I was so caught up in the moment that I said yes.” My hands went to my mouth. “I don’t love him like I should. There are no butterflies, no sparks, and the sex is so boring.” I still couldn’t get over the fact that she was engaged. “I’ve been thinking over and over in my head how to give him the ring back without being a bitch.”