Read Everything I've Never Had Online
Authors: Lynetta Halat
“Mmm…well, you know where I stand on that whole mess.”
She narrows her eyes at me and clenches her hand around mine. That’s what she does when she gets pissy. She knows better than to let me go. “Yes, I know. Trust me, I wish I could stay out of it.”
Her phone rings again. She sighs. I laugh. If she wasn’t so gracious, they wouldn’t call her with all their shit. She should just snap on their asses. I know she has it in her; she’s sure as hell snapped on me when I’ve needed it.
“Hello, Daddy,” she says. “Yes, sir. We’re headed there now. I’m sorry. Oh, fine by me. No, that’s great. See you then.”
I tell her what I figured out. “Your dad’s going to be there but not your mom. He’s also had the displeasure of making sure Chip won’t be there.”
“You got it,” she says with a snicker. She checks to make sure the girls are asleep. “Louis still doesn’t want to be around my mother or Chip. He’s not quite ready for that.”
I visibly shudder. “I don’t think I’d ever be ready to know that Chip was my biological father, and that he and my mother had been screwing right under everyone’s noses for years.” Talk about the shit hitting the fan. When Claire found out about Celeste and me and that Celeste’s father was going to support us, she flipped her lid. Apparently her attempt to play nice was all a ruse.
We finally found out why she seemed to hate me more than she hated everyone else too. Her efforts at sleeping her way through our family had been thwarted when my father had refused her. In retaliation of her husband’s “disloyalty,” she blasted everyone’s dirty secrets to the whole family. All the paid off politicians, all the prostitutes and their abortions for Celeste’s older brothers, all the embezzled money, but the worst—finding out about William’s victims. It made me crazy when I thought about how close Celeste had come to being one of many women who’d suffered the ultimate in violence at his hands. Claire and Chip had been the only ones to know about William’s repeated acts of rape, but after her confession, Louis made sure William paid in the legal sense. My only consolation was that he was taking it up the ass multiple times a day at his new home in Angola State Penitentiary. The whole thing was nuts, but it put us all on an equal playing field, that’s for sure. Nobody bothered with Celeste and me anymore.
Celeste lets out a long sigh. “I know. It’s so hard to get used to the fact that my sweet baby brother was sired by that narcissistic pig.”
I squeeze her hand. “You’re not going to think about all that today. The boys have been gone for over a week. Our precious little girls are sleeping right behind you. Louis found a good guy in Chase and they’re doing well. Your best friend and mine will work their own problems out.” I catch her gaze and wink at her. “You got crazy hot birthday sex this morning and beignets. Life is good, babe.”
PUSHING A DOUBLE stroller through the terminal is one thing I never thought I’d be doing . I have five beautiful children. That little thought never fails to stagger me. I watch as my oldest son picks up and spins my beautiful wife in his arms. He sets her down, and she is attacked with hugs from our three boys. I stand back and let them talk for a minute. There’s nothing like watching a mama with her boys. After a minute, I push in a little closer and hug each one of their necks. I’m pretty sure Paris has grown because he’s starting to catch up with me. Archer’s been able to look me in the eye for a while, though. When Finn wraps his arms around me, I’m happy that I can still pick him up and jostle him back and forth a little.
“Boys, how was your trip?”
“It was awesome,” Finn answers first. “I taught the kids how to play American baseball and football when we had breaks from working. I have a bunch of pictures too. I can’t wait to get home and get them printed up and mailed to them.”
I ruffle his hair and hug him to my side. “I missed ya, kid.”
“Missed you too, Papa. The girls are knocked out,” he says with a nod to the stroller.
“They got up early and made your mom breakfast, ate a bunch of sugar, and then went into a coma.”
He laughs. “I thought mom said no more beignets.”
“We won her over.” I say with a grin.
Louis, Chase, and Celeste’s dad make their way over and hug the boys. The boys regale us with talk of their mission trip for a few minutes before an excited Paris grabs a magazine from his bag and thrusts it in my face.
“Pops, look at this. Can you believe it? The Dog Tags on the cover of
People en Español
.”
I laugh and look at my former band mates in all their glory. They’ve been kicking ass. I’m proud of them.
Archer pipes up. “I can’t believe you gave all that up to hang out with us and our mom, dude. They’re living the life.”
I nod my head knowingly. “Yeah, I know exactly what kind of life they’re living, and I wouldn’t trade mine for theirs for anything in this world.”
Celeste’s dad pats me on the back and jumps in with his opinion, and my eyes almost bulge out of their sockets with what he says. “The work Adrian is doing with our veterans is commendable, boys. You’d do well to take note and remember that.”
I look over at Celeste and my look of astonishment must mirror hers. Then we both grin. It had been better between us for a while now, but for him to outright state his approval was still unexpected.
His next question has me cringing for Archer. “Archer, you’ll be leaving for college soon, son. Have you made your final decision?”
I’m impressed with Archer when his gaze doesn’t waiver and his voice is strong. “Yes, Grandfather. I’ll be heading to Annapolis. The Naval Academy has accepted me into their Cyber Operations program.”
“Excellent. Navy or Marines?” Yep, there it is.
“Marines, sir.”
“They’ll be lucky to have you, son.” Wonders will never cease.
Celeste doesn’t hesitate to hug her dad right then. Acceptance—it’s all she’d ever wanted for her and her family.
“Louis, how’s entertainment law treating you, son?”
And that little change never failed to grate on my last nerve. Bradford had put a good word in for Louis when Louis stepped away from the family practice, which meant Bradford was around a lot more since they were such great friends. Which meant that I had to pretend not to want to punch his face in every time I caught him checking out my wife. If he were just admiring how damn gorgeous she was, I could handle that. But, no, he looked at her like if I stepped one tiny fucking bit out of line, he would whisk her off and nurse her wounds. Bastard. He needs to get a woman of his own.
Louis rubs the back of his neck and grins. “It’s good. More relaxed pace. A little more traveling. I’m enjoying it.”
“Well, someone’s got to do it, but I never thought it would be you with all your brilliance.”
Louis just laughs. “They need brilliant people too, Dad.”
“Well, at least we still have Chase around the firm,” his dad says with a sigh.
I see the girls stirring and their brothers are on top of it. They abandon us and lift them from their stroller, hugging and kissing and passing them between the three of them.
My eyes burn at the sight of them. I feel Celeste burrow into my side and look down at her. Tears shimmer in her eyes, so I hug her to me tight and lean down and kiss them away. “Happy tears?” She just nods. Planting a long kiss on her forehead, I murmur, “Thank you for this family, baby.” I feel her hiccup, so I squeeze her ass to make her laugh.
“All right, family. We’ve got a long day ahead of us. Let’s get going.”
GETTING THE TWINS settled takes a heck of a long time, so when I get to the sunroom I’m whupped. But when I see her sitting there in her little blue silk camisole and shorts, I get a rush of energy. I walk over and pull her up so that I can sit and then pull her back down on my lap.
“Hey, baby,” she murmurs.
“Hey, yourself. How’s this for a hot birthday date? You, me, and this loveseat?”
“This loveseat holds some of my best memories, so I love it right here. And you’re taking me to the concert tomorrow, so I’m good.”
I lean in and get a little taste. “Mmm…you’re better than good.”
“Today was a great day,” she says as she runs her hands through my hair. “I’m so happy to have the boys home.”
“Me too. And your dad blew my mind, by the way.”
“I knew he’d come around eventually, baby. You’re amazing. I just happened to be the lucky one who saw it first.”
“You weren’t always so lucky,” I say, thinking back to how I’d put her through hell for a while. It still boggled my mind that she was strong enough and loved me enough to see what I needed and to do something about it.
She runs her fingers over my neck, massaging me. “Baby, that’s all behind us now. You asked me how I could forgive you, how I could put my trust in you. It’s so simple—you give me everything, Adrian. It’s only fair that I give it all right back.”
I run my hands up her jaw and bring her face close to mine. I pray that she can see it all in my eyes—all my love, all my respect, all my awe—because I know that my words could never do my feelings justice. “You’re my life, my love, my heaven,” I pause for a second before I give her words back. Her words that rocked my world. “My everything I’d never had,” I whisper.
Everlong - Foo Fighters
Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing - Collide
In Your Eyes - Jeffrey Gaines
Crazy for You - Madonna
The Blower’s Daughter - Damien Rice
Someday - Harry Connick, Jr.
My Hero - Foo Fighters
Wicked Game - Phillip Phillips
So What - P!nk
Comedown - Bush
Criminal - Fiona Apple
Kiwi - Maroon 5
Missing You - John Waite
Can’t Take My Eyes Off You - Frankie Valli
Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson
I Never Told You - Colbie Caillat
Stay - Rihanna
Just a Kiss - Lady Antebellum
Amazed - Lonestar
Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon & Garfunkel
Imagine - John Lennon
Everlong—Acoustic Version - Foo Fighters
What I Got - Sublime
Hold You in My Arms - Ray LaMontagne
Stay - Sara Bareilles
Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison
The Reason - Hoobstank
One Thing - Finger Eleven
Home - Phillip Phillips
Bed of Roses - Bon Jovi
One - Creed
Breathe Me - Sia
Hurt - Johnny Cash
I’ll Stand By You - Pretenders
Make This Go On Forever - Snow Patrol
Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap
Love the Way You Lie (Part II) - Rihanna, Eminen
Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis
Brave - Leona Lewis
Glitter in the Air - P!nk
Then - Brad Paisley