“Baby, no, please let me come find you and talk this out. I love you, Angel, and you need to know that.”
I snickered. “Love is a powerful word, Mick. You might not want to toss it around to just anyone, they just might believe you. Goodbye.” I swiped my phone and turned it off. I reached over to my nightstand and popped a quick pill to help me sleep. The waves of the ocean did their job and rocked me into a deep, dreamless sleep.
“WHAT DO YOU
mean it wasn’t enough time, Dawson?”
“The call wasn’t long enough, but it did pinpoint an area, just not the exact location.”
“Well, where the hell is she?”
“Florida. Southern Florida, but I’m not sure where. She can be anywhere.”
I was going out of my mind. I woke, and she was gone—no note, nothing. At first I felt betrayed like what my family had done to me, but then I saw my wallet was laying on the counter opened. I knew she found me out, and I knew she was running away.
“Not to sound like an asshole, but could you maybe boil it down a little further? Southern Florida is big as shit. We can’t find her unless she answers again or uses a card.”
“She’s not likely to pick up the phone, so we just wait this out. We’ll head back down to Tampa, and I’ll have Spidey keep tabs on finding anything that can lead us to her. He’s the best and you know he can find her if she makes one mistake.” Spidey was our go-to guy for tracking. Dawson, Fuzz, and Spidey were the three main reasons why Bail Bondsman hired us and paid us our standard 25% which was a lot considering most only took ten. Depending on the nature and the deadline, the fee sometimes went up to 30%. They paid it because they knew we’d get the skip and turn him back into the authorities and then they’d get paid.
“Yeah, let me make sure I close everything up first.” I agreed to head to Tampa knowing I’d be closer to her in case we got a hit. After securing her place and packing up the small amount of crap I brought with me, we headed out. Dawson waited for me to pull away like he was afraid I wasn’t going to head back to the club and followed me until we made into the State of Florida.
I WAS SLOWLY
falling apart. It had been over six weeks and nothing. Not one hit. She hadn’t used a card, and we couldn’t find her father. We all thought we’d be in touch with him to maybe shed some light on her whereabouts, but nothing. It was like the two of them dropped off the face of the earth.
The thought I might not see her eyes, or her smile that instantly lifted my mood had me wanting to break down, but I didn’t. I could barely look at myself in the mirror anymore since all I saw was the liar, the fraud… the loser. In the eight years I had been on my own; I had one rule that I followed to a tee and with just a few minutes I broke it with her.
‘Never let anyone in that you
know can hurt you.’
I’d experienced so much already that I changed everything about who I was to begin with.
When I was younger, I was that kid who wanted the girlfriend. The kid who loved fiercely and cherished the ones I had in my life. The guy that mowed lawns to make money just to take my girl to the movies and feel good that I did it without my folk’s money. Until he changed me. When I was sixteen, my dad left me in a hotel room leaving me to believe he was coming back for me. He did, but not for two hours. Within minutes of him leaving the door opened, and two beautiful women, dressed in only trench coats and panties greeted me. That was my first lesson. Women would be at my disposal whenever I felt inclined to have a good fuck. Then, right before I turned eighteen, he brought me to a warehouse. The usual crew was all there, witnesses, as one would say, to make sure I completed the second lesson. A man in his late forties strapped to a chair, mouth gagged, eyes full of fear knowing his life was ending in a matter of minutes.
I didn’t want to do it, but I had to. With them all looking at me, waiting to see if I could cut the mustard to be a part of their fucked up world or not. I can still see his eyes filled with tears, pleading with just a look since he was unable to speak. I didn’t even ask what his crime had been, or his name. I just stepped within a foot of him, pointed the gun to his head and fired. I left the house the following week. Dad was extradited a month later.
“Mick,” Fuzz pulled me out of my own misery.
“Yeah?”
“Dawson has a job for you. It was just phoned in. Skip running. Missed his court date a few weeks back. He wants you to do this one. Spidey will back you up.”
That’s what I did. I worked my ass off going out on jobs, helping when asked. We usually went in pairs, but if it was an easy grab, I liked to go alone. I left before Spidey even got his orders. When I wasn’t working, I was either looking for clues about Everly, or drowning my liver to forget her.
Dawson always warned me not go alone since you never knew what you’d run up against. He always said, “Don’t think they’re just going to turn themselves in without a fight. It’s just not reality. They’re running for a reason, Irish.”
As I lie there in a pool of my own blood, I wished I had paid better attention and listened to him. I should’ve called for backup as soon as I felt my gut twist, knowing something felt off. The skip wouldn’t answer his door when I warned him I was getting ready to break it down. He hid, and I didn’t see him. I heard him, well, I heard him fire his weapon. I fired three rounds as he made a break for it, but I got him. I watched as his body fell to the floor several feet from me, his hand grasping at his throat as the blood spilled out of him. His gagging and choking were enough to make me want to hurl.
I hit send. “Fuzz,” I mumbled into my cell. “I need help. I’m down.” The phone slipped from my hand as I fell back. I focused on the little stars that should be twinkling on the ceiling. My eyes roamed the room realizing I was in a child’s room. Which made me think of the baby Everly lost.
Everly… I just want one more chance.
One more chance to tell her everything. To tell her how much I love her, how sorry I was for being a bastard. I grabbed my phone and searched out my voicemail and hit play. It was an old message, but I needed to hear her voice more than anything.
I could feel the blood seeping out of me, and my heart rate slowed to the point I knew it was almost time to face all the shit I’d done in the past. Karma was ready to kick my ass and take names. I wish I could say it was peaceful, but it was far from it as I waited for help or the white light to come get me. I couldn’t get Everly and how badly I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her out of my thoughts. How my death would hurt her. How I couldn’t just give up now.
“Hey, I had a great time last night. You know a way to a girl’s heart. Thanks for the shitty pizza. Bye, Mick.”
I hit play again. “Bye, Angel,” I whispered as my eyes failed me.
“I’M FINE,” I
told Dawson again.
“Irish, you just got out of the hospital last week. You’re supposed to be dead, and now you want to run around and get shot at again? Not yet, kid.”
“I need to work, Dawson,” I shouted from bed.
“I know you do.” His hand came down and rested on my shoulder. “We’ll find her.”
“When? It’s been almost two fucking months, and you still haven’t heard shit from Thomas.”
“Actually, I have.” He took a seat and scrubbed his face like he was exhausted. “He needs a little more time. He called one of the burners he had given me before he took off. Someone screwed up, and he’s unable to get out.”
“And Everly, did you ask him?”
He exhaled a deep breath. “Yeah, kid, but he made me promise not to say shit. I told him everything. He thinks it’s best for you stay away from her. She ran, and he knows where most likely, but he also told me to tell you to leave her alone for a bit. If she comes back around or wants you for whatever reason, he wants it to be her to be the one to make the decision, not be forced into it. It fucking broke his heart to hear about the baby.”
“Yeah,” I mumbled. It broke my heart too. I punched the bed. “You have to tell me where she is. You need to tell me.”
“I promised him I wouldn’t. I’m going to go look at the place he mentioned, talk to her and see how she is. I told him I’d do that. Make sure she’s safe. If she’s even there.”
I tried to get out of bed, but the pain sliced into my stomach. Doc said I’d be fine, and the pain would cease any day now. Any day couldn’t come sooner. “Dawson, please take me with you. You know I’ll find out. I’ll get Spidey or Fuzz to tell me. Spidey still feels mighty guilty for not backing me up, even though my hard head left without him.”
He grinned at my attempt. “Not gonna work, kid. Already spoke with them, and they know to keep an eye out for you. Now lay back and get some damn rest. You look like hell.” I had been staying at the club. They made a makeshift room on the first floor for me since someone was always there and could take care of me. My bed was next to the bar and pool table area so they could ride my ass incessantly at all my bad decisions whenever they were around.
“I should be back in three days. If the doc clears you, I’ll put you on something. Beth will be here soon to take care of you.” Dawson rattled all this off and then left with a small bag looped around his arm. For the first time in two months, I smiled knowing he was going to see Everly. I wanted it to be me seeing her more than I wanted to breathe right now, but it was something. The first sign of her. The first tangible thing I could grasp and hold on to. The first real hope I had for giving me that chance to win her back.
SARA AND I
had become best friends apparently. I hadn’t had one since high school, and it was nice to have someone to share my sob stories with, someone to eat with, and someone to grab a cocktail with at the local beach bar. I missed him. I missed school. I missed everything from my past life. I still wrote some, but it seemed like I lost my muse when I lost him. But Sara helped me get through it all little by little, and day-by-day I was becoming me again. I was still sad, still mourning my loss of him and the baby, but with each passing day it became more tolerable.
Sara and I were giggling on our walk home about a guy who was half her age that had tried to pick her up at the bar. I admit she looked fabulous for being sixty and could easily pass for mid to late forty’s. She came to a stop, gripping my arm, wrapping it around hers. “What? Do you want to go back to the bar and take home, Mr. Thinks-I’m-Hot-But-Not?”