Don't Say a Word (Strangers Series) (11 page)

CHAPTER 17

ALLIE HAD JUST crawled into bed when she heard a knock at the front door. It was almost nine o’clock. Who could it—? But then Allie realized Piglet hadn’t even bothered to growl.

She groaned.

She knew exactly who it was. It was the same piece of crap she’d hadn’t heard from since Gary Willis showed up in the backyard. He hadn’t called, texted—nothing.

Knowing the time had arrived, she crawled out of bed and threw on her robe. She should’ve broken up with Johnny by now, but she’d gotten sidetracked by Gary.

Bitty was already headed up the hallway when Allie slipped through her bedroom door.

“I’ve got it.”

Bitty looked at her. “Who—?”

“Johnny.”

Bitty nodded and turned back to her bedroom.

Allie opened the door, and icy winter air rushed into the house. Johnny stood before her, smiling wide, the way he always smiled when he saw her. But she knew now what she meant to him, and what she didn’t. She was just a comfortable place to hide away from his real life.

Nothing more.

Well, he was going to have to find a new place to hide. She welcomed the icy air on her skin for a moment, then moved aside so Johnny could come in.

He looked handsome as always, especially with his cheeks flushed from the wind. He looked well rested, as though he hadn’t a care in the world. She closed the door behind him. Slid the dead bolt home.

“What’s up with the police officer out front?”

“Um, hell-o? The man in our backyard the other morning.”

“Oh, right. You find out who that dude was?”

“The girls’ mother’s boyfriend.”

It took him a moment to connect the relationships. Then: “Wow. No shit?”

“No shit,” she said dryly.

“Well, you happy I’m here this time?” he asked, reaching out to hug her.

She kept her arms crossed and took a step backward. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“What? So I have to announce my visits now?”

“Yes, I wish you would.”

“I was worried about you. I thought I should come by and make sure everyone was okay.”

“Worried? Seriously? You didn’t even remember anything had happened until two seconds ago. And you didn’t even stick around after everything that happened . . . or bother to call. I didn’t even get a text, Johnny.”

“I was busy, hon. You know how it gets for me. Sorry. C’mon, now. Let’s not do this again. I just drove all the way—”

“Well, you can drive right back, because it’s over.
We’re
over.”

He stared at her. “You’re breaking up with me?”

“Well, if you want to call it that, then yes. But I think that would imply that we’ve been exclusive all this time, and I highly doubt I’m the only person you’ve been ‘dating.’ But that’s beside the point.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he said.

“No, I’m dead serious. I don’t want ‘this,’ whatever it is . . . this thing we’ve been doing . . . anymore. It makes me miserable, and it’s not good for Sammy to think relationships should be this way.”

He ran his fingers through his hair. “Wow. That . . . just wow,” he said, shaking his head. “Have you even thought about Sammy? You don’t think it’s important he has a father?”

“He’ll still have a father. That won’t change,” she said. “Right?”

Johnny kept rubbing his head.

“Sammy loves you more than anything, and he needs a father. This shouldn’t change a thing between the two of you. And I hope to God you don’t let it.”

After Johnny was gone, Allie went to the kitchen to make a drink, an extra-strong one, then quietly let herself out the sliding glass door. She drank the first of the vodka in long gulps, welcoming the heat-laced liquid as it bloomed in her stomach.

She sighed, feeling some of the stress of the breakup instantly fall away.

She knew she’d made the right decision with Johnny. She only wished she’d made it sooner. But still, she had a lump in her throat, knowing it was finally over. After all, they had enjoyed some good times.

Standing against the back of the house, she drank and kept a close eye on the dark tree line. She knew that Detective Lambert suspected Gary had fled town, but she’d still be cautious. If she saw any movement at all, heard anything . . .
anything . . .
it would take her only two seconds to be back inside the house with the door locked.

Warmth from the alcohol spread to her cheeks as she surveyed the yard. She thought about what Zoe had said earlier.
When I look at you, it’s almost like I’m looking at her.

When Zoe had said that, Allie had felt a little creeped out. She wasn’t so sure she liked resembling a murdered woman or, worse, a terrible mother.

Shivering from the cold, she drained her drink and went back inside to make another one.

A while later, Allie felt someone drape a quilt over her body. She realized she was still on the couch. That she must’ve fallen asleep. She’d drunk a lot; too much. She opened her eyes and saw that it was Bitty.

Her face grew hot.

She didn’t want Bitty to see her this way. She wanted her to think she was strong.

“There’s a glass of water right here on the coffee table, in case you need it,” Bitty said. “And a plastic bowl next to the couch in case anything comes up.”

“Thanks,” Allie said, tiredly.

“I’ll put Sammy in bed with me,” Bitty said. She leaned down and kissed Allie’s forehead. “Get some good rest, honey.” Bitty headed to the hallway.

“I broke up with him,” Allie said. “Tonight. I broke up with Johnny.”

Bitty paused. “Want to talk about it?”

“No, not really. I just wanted you to know.”

CHAPTER 18

ALLIE AWOKE TO the scent of freshly brewed coffee and the sound of Curious George’s squeaky monkey chatter.

She opened her eyes to find Sammy peering down at her. He covered his nose and giggled. “Eww. What that smell? Your breath smell . . . gross, Mommy!”

She wasn’t surprised. Her mouth was dry and tasted
terrible
.

She grabbed Sammy and pulled him on the couch. “Well, that’s not very nice!” she said and tickled his soft tummy.

“No, Mommy, stop!” he squealed.

“I brought you coffee,” Zoe said, her eyes bright. She held a cup of coffee between her small hands. “Two tablespoons of cream, no sugar. Bitty told me.”

“That’s perfect. Thanks, Zoe.”

Zoe smiled proudly.

“Whoa!” Sammy suddenly exclaimed, bouncing off Allie’s stomach and running to the sliding glass door.

Allie tensed. Was something . . . some
one . . .
in the yard? She sat up and, a little light-headed, followed him.

“It’s snowing!” Sammy screamed. “It’s snowing!”

He was right. Big, fat snowflakes were falling from the sky, blanketing the deck and yard.

Bitty walked into the room. “Now look at that.”

Sammy jumped up and down, his hands clasped together. “I want to go outside and play in it, Mommy. Please?!”

Allie watched Sammy’s eyes dance with excitement—and she knew that she couldn’t say no. No matter what her gut had been telling her, Gary Willis was probably long gone. And if they played in the front yard, they could run into the house quickly if they needed to. She would just keep an eye out. She was certain Bitty would, too.

“Please?” Sammy said again. “Pretty please?”

“Okay, but you know the rules, right? If I call you, you come the very first time, okay?”

“I know, I know. I listen the first time!”

Allie bundled Sammy up, and Bitty found extra wool scarves for the girls. Then, as a family, they all went in the front yard and played in the snow.

Despite a slight hangover, Allie felt strangely relaxed all day. Gary did, in fact, appear to be long gone, and she’d finally done the right thing about Johnny. She also had a refreshed determination to do her best by the girls. Both of them. She’d try to be at least a little of what Bitty had been for her during her darkest days.

Therapy sessions at the Child Advocacy Center had been canceled due to inclement weather, and the local schools had closed for the day, so Allie and Bitty decided to treat the day like a snow day, too, and skip homeschooling.

After playing in the snow for an hour, they all took warm baths and changed back into their pajamas. And even though Thanksgiving was still a week away, they pulled out the Christmas music, letting it play softly from the stereo.

The energy in the house had completely shifted. Everyone suddenly seemed relaxed. Even Carrie had stayed awake most of the day. But still, Allie couldn’t help but think that her face looked more pale than usual . . . and her eyes maybe a little more vacant.

While Bitty, Zoe, and Sammy played a game of Scrabble Alphabet Scoop at the kitchen table, Allie walked over to Carrie and took her small hand again. She held it and together they watched the snow fall in the backyard for a few minutes. “I’m here if you want to talk,” she whispered. “I want to help you. When you’re ready, please let me, okay?”

Carrie didn’t react. Her eyes didn’t even move. She just continued to stare out at the yard. Allie turned her attention to the snow again, wishing she knew what Carrie was thinking. Why she refused to talk. When, and if, she would talk again.

Bitty had told Allie that the head therapist at the Child Advocacy Center had diagnosed Zoe with dissociative amnesia, a neurological condition caused by severe trauma. She had explained that as a result of her parents being murdered, Zoe had repressed some of the events that led up to it as well as some of the events that immediately followed it. But the therapist was hopeful that she’d recover most, if not all, of her memories over time.

Carrie, on the other hand, appeared to have selective mutism, which was thought to have manifested from the same trauma. While most kids who suffered from selective mutism talked again after just a matter of days or weeks—some didn’t for several months. Allie hoped that Carrie fell into the former category.

After the game of Scrabble Alphabet Scoop ended, Allie drank piping hot coffee on the recliner and watched Sammy run around the house in a Santa hat and his Batman pajamas. They hung out as a family all day, and it actually did feel a little like Christmas.

Then after dinner, they made homemade hot chocolate, popped popcorn, and slid the movie
Frozen
into the DVD player. Bitty had built a nice fire in the fireplace, and the fire popped and crackled in the dimly lit room as they watched the movie. To Allie’s surprise, when the movie started, Piglet jumped into Carrie’s lap, scooting the girl’s stuffed bear aside with her behind to make room for herself. The dog looked up at Carrie and licked her face, and nosed her arm a couple of times, still hoping to get Carrie to pet her. When she wouldn’t, the dog curled up in her lap and closed her eyes.

Zoe shared a blanket with Bitty and pressed her head against the woman’s thin shoulder. Halfway through the movie, Sammy fell asleep in Allie’s lap, worn out from the exciting day. He was sucking his thumb again.

Allie watched Carrie stare at the fireplace for most of the movie. And she couldn’t be sure, but every once in a while when she looked over at Carrie, she thought the girl’s eyes were glistening, as though she were crying. Again, she wished she knew what Carrie was thinking, but Carrie was unreadable.

Watching everyone in the room, Allie realized they all seemed content. And that they also looked like a nice little family. For the first time in days, Allie felt happy.

After everyone said their good-nights, Allie took her antidepressant and supplements, brushed her teeth, and slipped into bed next to Sammy. She replayed the day, then took a deep breath and found, for the first time since the girls had arrived, that she had no trouble filling her lungs.

She also realized that in that moment she felt little fear . . . of anything.

She yawned, and as she was drifting off, a voice inside her head whispered quietly:
But how long can it possibly last?

Allie got her answer a few hours later when her bedroom door flew open and the overhead light slammed on, bathing the room in bright light.

She jolted up and saw Zoe running to her side of the bed. A millisecond later, Zoe was tugging on Allie’s arm.

“Carrie’s gone!” she said, hysterical. “We’ve . . . we’ve got to find her!”

“What’s going on?” Bitty asked in the doorway, her eyes still half-closed.

“Carrie’s gone!” Zoe repeated. “She’s . . . she’s not in the house!”

Worry flooded Bitty’s eyes. “My Lord. Do you know where she might have gone?”

“Yes, I think so! Just hurry, please! We need to get in the truck. Hurry!”

Allie pulled on her clothes and wrapped a jacket around a still-sleeping Sammy. As she hurried by the girls’ bedroom, she caught a glimpse of the stuffed bear in the bed—and found it odd that Carrie would have left it behind, wherever she’d gone.

As she made it to the front door, she realized light was spilling from every room of the house. Zoe must’ve turned them all on, searching for her sister, before waking her.

“Please! Come on!” Zoe begged, standing in the foyer. “We’ve got to hurry!”