Divided (3 page)

“Don't worry Alani. I’ll sing my favorite song first and then you’ll see how easy it is. We’ll let a few people go first before we bring you up on stage with me.”

He was so calm that it made my almost panic attack turn into a large case of nerves instead.

“What's your favorite song?” I asked trying to figure out what kind of music he was into. I like anything and everything so I felt very well rounded.

“
Colt 45
by Afroman.” He said nonchalantly. 

“Shut up! There is no way that is your favorite song.” I said.

“Why not?”

“Because you’re a boy from North Dakota.” I replied.

“Don't be so surprised. There are plenty of things I’m great at.” He said licking his lips. Immediately bringing forth the image of his tongue and lips all over my body. “Knowing rap songs are one of them.” He said in a seductive tone before walking away. 

I was completely shocked that he picked that song, it was such a hard song to memorize, one that had taken me many times hitting the repeat button to finally nail down.  I was glad he had the screen to use in the event he forgot a line.

Once he walked away, I immediately missed his presence next to me. I didn't want to deal with that feeling at this specific moment though so I buried the emptiness with more alcohol. “Can I have a vodka and Red Bull?” I asked our cocktail waitress. I was surprised how nice people were here, now I knew why they called us the ‘Damn Yankees.’  We were always in a hurry to get something done or be somewhere.

Ryan’s sexy voice came over the speaker as he started the beginning of the song. He was good.  
Really good
. He didn't look at the screen once. I was a bit stunned to realize that he really knew the song and was equally both impressed and extremely turned on. He had the whole crowd singing with him, a complete natural.

Everyone took a turn but none of their performances were like Ryan’s.  
Criss Cross’s Jump Jump
 was a crowd favorite and we all jumped around. Soon after all the commotion it was my turn to perform. Ryan asked me to pick something out that I was comfortable singing. Being as shy as I was, I picked the one song I could sing intoxicated
and
with my eyes closed. I only hoped that Ryan had an open mind.  

“Ally, what did you pick?” Katie asked being nosy as usual, before our names were called.

“Spice Girls.” I responded. I closed one eye, too scared to look at her reaction.

“The Spice Girls? Does he even know any of their songs?” She asked.

“Let’s hope so, he told me to pick something easy.” I shrugged my shoulders before facing the stage.

       The couple singing ahead of us finished their version of 
Baby Got Back 
and our names were called up to the stage.  I stood up and made my way up the platform, it was only six inches off the floor so it wasn’t a very big stage. I got up and saw that Ryan was talking to the DJ. I thought he was just asking to see what song we were singing, I hadn’t told him and assumed he was curious.

He walked across the stage and gave me the second microphone. My palms were sweaty. My heart racing. Everyone got quiet as the bass to the song came over the speakers. I immediately recognized the song; it was
Lady Antebellum, Just a Kiss
. I thought that the DJ had messed up the song so I looked at Ryan to tell him, but he read my mind. He took the microphone away from his lips and leaned into my ear, informing me that he had Katie change it. 
I will kill her.
I thought to myself.

The song was a duet. I missed the first part because I was still in shock at the betrayal. Katie was supposed to be on my side!

“
I’ve never opened up to anyone.”
The brief anger I felt for Katie vanished.
 
Ryan sang to me and it was like a light went off; I knew this was the perfect song to sing with him. His voice was warm through the speakers and the bar went quiet at the sound of his voice.      

I joined him in the chorus and it was perfect how his beautiful voice covered all of the flaws in mine. Never once looking away, we sang not to the crowd, but to each other. He held my hand and made me face him as we continued to sing. My heart and attention captured in his melody.

When we finished the song we received a standing ovation. I pulled myself into Ryan’s side before I walked off the stage with pure adrenaline running through my veins.  An older woman came up to us soon after our performance saying something that took my great night and completely turned it to shit.

“Congratulations to you both, many years of happiness.” At first, I didn’t understand what she meant, but once Ryan responded it felt as if the floor was taken out from under me. “Thank you ma’am, I plan to make her very happy.”

This woman had thought that I was with Ryan, that I was
marrying
Ryan. That he was the one that I was planning to spend the rest of my life with. Of course anyone that saw us perform would think that. I was so into the song that I didn’t hold back any of my emotions. I had been so into him.  

Marco. 
 

My mind immediately rushed to Marco, the man I was marrying. The one I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The one that was back home waiting for me.

“Sorry about that, I didn’t want to explain the whole thing and...” Ryan started, snapping me out of my thought.

“It’s OK.” I lied before he could continue. I knew that it wasn’t ok. It was time to go home and get my feelings under control.

I walked over to Katie and told her I was ready to leave. She gathered the girls and we quickly made our way out of the bar together. This time Ryan didn’t hold my hand. All of the guys walked us over the bridge between Planet Hollywood and Cosmopolitan.  At the entrance to the hotel everyone began exchanging phone numbers.

Ryan pulled me to the side, “It was my absolute pleasure to meet you Alani LaBelle. I’ll always remember you and I wish you nothing but happiness. I do hope your future husband makes you happy and gives you the world. It’s what you deserve.”

       I looked at him, beyond speechless. A part of me didn’t want this to end, but I knew deep down that I needed to walk away from this feeling, from him. He continued, “If you’re ever in Grand Forks, North Dakota, look me up, please.” He leaned in and I closed my eyes, both hoping and dreading that he would possibly kiss me. He moved his head and kissed my cheek. “With a kiss goodnight.” He said softly.

All the air was taken from my lungs; I looked up at him as I hugged him tightly whispering in his ear, “Thank you for an incredible night.” Ryan held me tight, neither of us wanting to let go. Katie cleared her throat and I finally pulled away letting my arms drop.

“Bye, Bug.”

“Bye, Ryan.”

With that, I turned around and walked into the hotel making my way to the elevators in silence. With Katie beside me, I knew she wanted to wait until we were inside to talk. I looked to her as we stepped in the elevator. “Where are Caitlyn and Melanie?”

“They didn’t want to interrupt the deep goodbye.” She said sarcastically pushing our floor number. “Katie it’s not what you think, we didn’t do anything. It was completely innocent.”

She looked at me and smiled. “Most brides just get cold feet. But you Ally; you make connections with total strangers. It’s just the nerves talking.”

 We didn’t say anything else to each other as we made our way up to our room. I got dressed for bed and as I lay there I decided for the first time, not to text Marco to tell him good night. I just lay there looking at the ceiling and smiling as I replayed the whole night over and over in my head.

To my surprise the next morning I felt great. I didn’t have a hangover or the need for greasy food. I looked at my watch and realized that Ryan was probably on his flight back to North Dakota and smiled at the thought of his name. The girls and I got our bags ready and gave them to the bellhop to hold.

We were going to make one last trip to the pool. Melanie and Caitlyn were in complete snooze mode; clearly they had too much to drink last night and Katie was reading a book on her Kindle as I pretended to read as well, but in reality, I kept thinking about Ryan. What if our paths had crossed five years ago? What would’ve happened then? I stopped myself almost immediately, shaking the thought from my mind. I couldn’t think this way. I couldn’t do that to myself. I couldn’t be thinking of ‘what if’s’.

We made our way to the airport later that evening, all just ready to go home. We went through security and waited at our gate and once inside the plane I took the window seat and opened the shade to look out at Las Vegas one last time. 
Goodbye, Las Vegas, I’ll never forget you… or Ryan
 

Chapter 2 
Reality Bites

A
s we landed in Newark International Airport I was glad to get back to reality, I was less than two weeks away from saying ‘I do’ and with all the last minute changes, I didn’t have time to get cold feet. Katie had been right, what I was feeling for Ryan was just my nerves. It was just pre-wedding jitters, nothing to stress over. 
Hopefully. 

Marco had sent a driver for us, I knew he was busy working on a big case and wanted to have it all squared away before our honeymoon.  After dropping off the girls, Raul took me home. Three years ago we decided to move in together, it only made sense since we spent the whole weekend in New Jersey at my apartment in Hoboken and the whole week in Manhattan at Marco’s. I had refused to move into his apartment though, I wanted a place that was completely ours and he refused to move to New Jersey, being a New Yorker and all.  We’d settled for a high rise near the Brooklyn Bridge, the view was what sold it for me. Marco hated the commute, but I hated that I was so willing to leave New Jersey to live on the opposite side of New York leaving my family and friends behind. It was hard, but I did it for him.

       When I got home I didn’t bother with my suitcase and left it where Raul had set it down in the living room before heading straight for the shower. After showering I dressed in a pair of comfy sweat pants and a t-shirt before I hit the bed. I woke up with Marco sliding into bed with me. He hugged me from behind and my heart suddenly melted. The comfort I felt while wrapped in his arms, I knew he was the one I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. We just clicked.

“Hmm.” I mock complained about being woken up as I pulled my duvet over my head.

“I missed you, babe.” He said, kissing my neck.

“Hmmmmmm.” I complained some more.

“Babe… It’s seven pm, if you don’t get up you won’t be able to sleep later.” He said placing soft kisses on my shoulder. He was right I did need to get up. “And I have sushi.” He added.

“From Ginger?” I mumbled.

“Only the best for my love.”

He had me out of bed with the sushi. I was such a sucker for my favorite sushi. 
Did I tell Ryan that I liked sushi?
  I quickly scolded myself for letting my mind drift to him. I couldn’t sit here and think about some other guy, I had to bury all thoughts of him. I would never see him again and it was time to stop thinking of the possibility of Ryan and me, looking into the future. Marco, he was my future.

Making my way to the dining room I realized that having slept all day meant I hadn’t eaten all day and I was starving. Marco and I fell right into the swing of things as if I had never left. He took a bottle of wine from the wine fridge as I popped open all of the sushi he bought. We talked about his weekend without me, and I told him about Las Vegas. I told him everything minus Ryan. I didn’t want to lie to him, but I didn’t want him to worry about something that was never going to happen either. He explained how all weekend he played golf and didn’t do any of the wedding stuff I had asked him too. 
Typical Marco.

After dinner, Marco laid on the couch as I threw away the empty cartons and straightened up the kitchen. With that finished I reached for a bottle of wine hoping that it would help me sleep. Marco had left all of his paper work, along with his brief case, on the kitchen counter so I tried to organize it as best as I could, but I hated touching his work stuff. He was a big shot marketing executive for some fancy corporation in New York City. Inspired Marketing Group was on the list of top ten companies to work for, it wasn’t something I was interested it in. He carried his work life with him everywhere he went. Being a writer, everything for my job I carried in my laptop, all of my articles and research was done right there.  It always amused me at how different we were, but yet we click so well together. I was perfectly fine living in a small house with my computer and books, living the simple life. While Marco wanted the best of everything, in the end it worked out in my favor I suppose. I was always showered in the most generous of gifts and he was always updating my computer or car to the newest model even though I never asked him to. I had refused to actually give up my car though, as a compromise, I just left it parked at my parents’ house; I couldn’t let it go.

By three in the morning I had washed the whole kitchen, had put everything in my suitcase away, and washed all of my clothes. Walking over to the couch where Marco lay, I debated if I should wake him up, knowing that If I didn’t he would wake up in the morning with his back completely out of place.

“Marco baby, come on, let’s go to bed.”

“Five more minutes.” He said lying on the leather couch. His head shifted to one side.

I knew from previous experiences that when he said ‘five more minutes’ and I persisted, he wound up being a crankster all day. So with that I left him on the couch and went to bed. Luckily sleep came right away. I guess the bottle of wine and the house chores really did help.

⌘

The next week in a half flew by so quickly. I had my final dress fitting the Monday after we returned from Las Vegas and I loved my dress even more than I had when I initially purchased it. Every time I tried it on I felt like such a princess. I hadn’t wanted a big wedding, nothing too over the top. I just wasn’t one of those girls. I wanted something simple, a small ceremony and a small reception with just immediate friends and family. Unfortunately, Marco couldn’t have a small wedding with all of the work friends and clients he had. He also came from a pretty big family so even though it wasn’t what I really wanted, we were having an over the top wedding and my dress and shoes had to be over the top as well. I did love my 
Vera Wang
 dress though; I didn’t think I was ever going to want to take it off. My wedding shoes were 
Christian Louboutin's
and I was picking them up at the store today since they were finally delivered from Paris just for me. I reminded myself that I hadn’t wanted over the top, but I did really love my attire for the day.