Diary of a Vampeen (8 page)

As I approached that part of the store
I was surprised to see Kellan standing there lost in a book. He
held a thick black book seemingly ancient in design titled
‘Vampyres and Demons’.

“Hey Kellan,” I announced my presence
with a smile. I must have startled him because he slammed the book
shut and jumped back.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” I
quickly added. His reaction jolted me; he acted like a child who
stole and nearly got caught.

“You didn’t scare me,” he laughed
anxiously as he placed the book back on the shelf.

“Vampires and demons, huh? Anything
good?”

“Egh, not really.” He stuffed his
hands into his jean pockets.

“Do you enjoy myths and legends?” I
inquired trying to learn more about this mystical new
arrival.

“Yes. Most of them I’ve found to be
true,” he answered with a disturbed yet poetic undertone in his
seductive voice.

He looked directly at me as I began to
daydream again. I get lost in his amazing green eyes every time.
Their depth is mesmerizing, almost hypnotic. He smiled his perfect
grin, and for the first time, I noticed he has a small dimple on
his left cheek. His beauty made me smile in awe. I probably looked
so stupid with my crooked smirk reflected towards him, but it’s
worth the sacrifice to admire him a few minutes longer.

“You look…beautiful today,” he
interrupted my admiration of him to say. “Your skin is glowing now;
you’re going to be perfect,” he added, still gazing at
me.

I broke my concentration
taking a deep breath as I adjusted my glasses.
Wait, did he say I was going to be perfect? Perfect for what?
Oh, who cares?! He said I looked beautiful!
This model of a man who was in front of me admired my hidden
beauty in some way. I wished he would make a pass at me then. I
could only imagine the non-exonerated feeling I’d receive in
kissing him. I immediately began scolding myself at the thought. I
was with Mike, and I’d agreed to give our relationship a
chance.

Not knowing how much time had passed
in my mental debate, I quickly stated, “Thanks,” nonchalantly. I
glanced back up at him. He was still staring at me and looked to be
debating something as well.

“Want to go sit down for a bit?” I
asked motioning towards the café.

“Sure,” he gave a quick nod before
making his way in that direction. We sat at the table and stared at
each other again until he began the conversation.

“So how long did you live in Spain?”
he started, softening his previously intense gaze.

“Two years. We returned to Charleston
when I turned five.” I took another sip of my drink. “How about
you?”

“Four years. My parents moved to
Seattle shortly after I turned seven.”

“Maybe I was too young, but I don’t
remember your family,” I prompted hoping he would
elaborate.

“I only saw your parents a few times
when I was younger. They never brought you around our kind,” he
stated. He furrowed his brows as if he was pondering
something.

“And what
kind
are you?” I pressed
in confusion.

“You’ll find out soon enough,” he
answered sternly. I hated this riddle; I didn’t like stuff being
withheld from me. More upsetting was the fact that he said my
parents knew, but they hadn’t said one word to me regarding any of
this.

“So are you dating anyone?” he swapped
subjects, a prime method of distraction and avoidance.

“Um… yea,” I replied still
trying to process his previous response.
What did he mean “our kind”? Maybe that’s why my parents
didn’t mention him. Except why would they say he was like family
but then distance me from him?
The more I
thought about it, the more frustrated I became. It simply wasn’t
adding up right… I finally gave up returning to the conversation.
Kellan looked at me warily.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said
anything.”

“No. It’s okay. I’m just confused.
Everyone has been really weird with me lately and it just doesn’t
add up,” I shrugged. No matter how hard I tried to push this aside,
it was an itch that wouldn’t be scratched until someone caved and
finally communicated with me outside code.

“No, it’s my fault. I know you’re
analytical. I can just tell. So I shouldn’t have mentioned it.” He
seemed sincere. Even if he wasn’t, I couldn’t say it was him I was
upset with. It was my parents. I didn’t understand why they would
keep secrets from me. And if Kellan was the wrong kind before, he
apparently was the right kind now since it was ok for me to go out
with him.

“Are you able to explain any part of
it to me?” I asked hopelessly.

“I’m really not the right person to
ask.” He offered me a small sympathetic smile.

“What am I missing?”

He sighed. “As soon as you know, I’ll
tell you everything. I promise.” Oddly, I believed him.

“When will I know?” I
pressed.

“Within the week.”

Great.
“Within the week?”
Did that mean my
world was going to come crashing down in a week? It just didn’t
make sense. He’s not making sense. Nothing in my life seemed to be
cohesive. In forty-eight hours my world had turned upside
down.

I stared at him. Despite my
frustration over the brainteaser he’d given me, and despite the
fact that I was dating Mike and Kellan was under the forbidden
label, I still longed to embrace him, to place my body against his.
Beyond the physical attraction I bore for him, I felt oddly secure
and trusted him. He’s a total stranger I lusted after yet trusted,
dare I say, more than my own boyfriend at that point. What was
wrong with me? I was baffled by my attitude. He acknowledged my
concerned expression.

“I know you’re scared and concerned,
but it’s nothing, really. Don’t worry yourself with that stuff
today,” he stated in his soothing voice while relinquishing the
full hypnotic power of his eyes on me.

“O…o.kkay,” I stuttered.

“Everything’s going to be fine
Lexi.”

“I just don’t like feeling confused,”
I admitted breaking his gaze to sip again.

“Do you like scary movies?” he asked
breaking away from the tensity.

“As long as they aren’t cheesy,” I
smirked.

“You’re not one of those girls who
screams every time the music begins are you?” he jeered with a
laugh.

“Not usually,” I blushed, embarrassed
to admit I could be at times. He caught on though and
chuckled.

“You’re caught.”

“Damn,” I smiled not caring that he
knew my humiliating reaction.

“So tell me about this boyfriend of
yours. Is he coming today?”

“Oh, yea. His name is Mike. We only
started dating recently.” I came to a hault, fidgeting with the lid
on my cup. I felt comfortable talking to Kellan. I felt like I
could openly talk to him about anything, but the situation with
Mike, while smoothed over for the moment, still held a question
mark.

“You don’t sound too sure about him,”
he stated hitting the nail on the head.

“Um, well… It’s all still new. That’s
all.”

He nodded not commenting further on my
clear hesitation. “What is your ideal guy then?” He was asking me,
but I felt like he already knew. It felt like he knew a lot about
me for not truly knowing me.

“I’m really not sure. Don’t laugh,
but… well, I’ve never had a boyfriend before Mike,” I admitted
feeling my face heat up simultaneously. I immediately regretted my
brave blabber-mouth moment, but couldn’t take it back and trying to
explain or provide some lame excuse would only make it worse. So I
did what I could: I braced myself waiting for hysterics at any
moment… but they didn’t come.

“
I’ve never had one either.
A girlfriend I mean. I’ve dated around, but nothing serious,” he
offered. I looked up in shock.

“Really? But you’re hot.” I blurted
before thinking. I instantly felt my cheeks heat up and put my face
in my hands. I went from bad to worse; a fate I didn’t know was
possible in that moment.

“
Thanks. I appreciate that.
You’re, uh… pretty too,” he chuckled. It sounded like an awkward,
uncomfortable release though.

“You don’t have to say that,” I
mumbled within my hands.

“You’re right, but I said it because I
wanted too. Because it’s true.” I peered up at him to discern
whether he was lying to make me feel better, but he seemed
sincere.

“Thanks,” I whispered.

Moments later Mike approached the
table where we sat.

“Hey Mike,” I welcomed him with a
short wave. “Mike, this is Kellan. Kellan – Mike,” I introduced
gesturing my hands appropriately. They didn’t shake hands merely
nodding at each other and saying hello. Mike quickly turned his
attention back to me.

“Wow babe, you look great!” he
commented. He stood beside the table and ogled me until I started
to squirm.

“Thanks,” I blushed.

“You guys ready to go?” Mike asked
checking his watch.

“What about the others?” He never told
me how many he’d invited or any names.

“They’re all flakes.”

“Oh. Um, okay. I guess I’m ready to
go. You?” I checked with Kellan.

“Yea,” he nodded.

We got up and followed quietly as
Kellan led the way to his car. He’d agreed to drive us over to the
theatre earlier. I didn’t know what to expect, but I was shocked
and impressed by what I saw. He walked up to a black BMW M5 with
barely legal black tinted windows and matching black rims. It
reminded me of a car Batman would drive as he fought viciously
against his attackers in Gotham.

“Nice ride,” Mike remarked, eyeing the
car from front to back.

“Thanks,” Kellan replied as he opened
the passenger door for me. Mike shot him a look of discouragement,
but he didn’t acknowledge the expression as he closed the door
behind me.

The drive across the street took less
than three minutes, the majority of which we were stuck waiting on
a light to change. This time Mike opened the door for me and took
my hand to help me out, though it really wasn’t necessary. I
immediately broke contact once I was out though, again it felt
wrong. We each bought our tickets and headed into the
theatre.

As we entered the theatre, reality hit
me. Darting back and forth with my eyes, I realized that the guy,
my boyfriend, who liked me would be on one side of me, and the guy
I was increasingly liking more than my boyfriend would be on the
other side of me. I stifled a groan as we took our seats in the
upper rows.

The movie was just as obdurate as I
feared. I did scream a few times; Kellan laughed and Mike took my
hand to comfort me. Mid-way through the movie Mike put his arm
around me at which Kellan again chuckled. I was able to shrug it
off towards the end but that didn’t erase the uncomfortable vibe of
the situation.

I was struggling, fighting internally.
I liked Mike, but couldn’t determine if I actually liked him as
anything more than a friend. The more time I spent with Kellan,
regardless of communication, I felt less and less inclined to Mike.
I didn’t want to share any physical touches with him in front of
Kellan. I was questioning my motives behind that one. I felt
obligated to be loyal to Mike because he was my first boyfriend; he
was the first guy to acknowledge that I was beautiful, but I was
only using him if I couldn’t reciprocate the gesture.

It was still early so we strolled
across the street to the mall. Naturally we ended up in a
bookstore, Books-A-Million to be exact. Kellan and I browsed books
quietly while Mike flipped through car magazines. Mike was
identical to Mel; he wasn’t comfortable with silence and often
forced conversation, however, Kellan was serene with silence which
made me less anxious with him.

Ten minutes into browsing Mike came
over to us.

"Hey babe, you want to go down to
FYE?" He threw his thumb in the air towards the general direction
of the store.

"Um…" I looked at Kellan to see if he
wanted to leave yet. He nodded once in agreement so I turned back
to Mike. "Sure. Let's go."

Mike led the way; I wandered shortly
behind him and Kellan walked beside me in synch. As we approached
the exit, we all filed side by side to saunter towards FYE. I still
felt uncomfortable and constantly being between the guys made it
worse.

The store was a short distance from
Books-A-Million but Mike intended to make the most of the trip.
Seconds after leaving the bookstore, he reached over to clasp my
hand. He entangled our fingers delicately and gave me a small
squeeze. It felt nice, yet wrong. This unexplained anxiety surged
through me as I glanced up at him. He turned in that precise moment
to beam a smile at me as we continued walking.

I turned my attention to Kellan, who
was parallel at my side with his hands tucked in his pockets. I
wanted to reach out and take his hand, but resisted the urge,
unsure of what his reaction would be. Looking at him made me feel
guilty; I was forcing him into the third wheel role I remembered so
fondly.