Desire Disguised (19 page)

Ben took a few deep breaths and tried to decide how he felt. Sad and frustrated. Angry. Somehow accepting this was the way the Emmert story ended despite so many people’s actions to halt the inevitable. Doctors, a counselor, his intervention, had never made any sort of impact on either party. It had all been futile.

As his defeated, black mood grew, Ben left Rory alone and walked into the hallway. It was quiet this late in the evening, and as he glanced at the time, he realized the Belascos had long since finished their dinner. Mat would be done with his homework and was probably fast asleep by now. Cara would be curled up in her bed, probably near sleep herself. He hadn’t had time to see her since the other night, able to make only a few calls quickly conducted before something would interrupt them. The influx of extractors into Pearl and their correlating activities ensured he hadn’t had an hour to himself for two days.

It would be self-indulgent to call her. Hearing her voice would soothe him, but he shouldn’t impose.

She answered on the second ring, her voice quiet and careful as usual.

“Ben, how are you? Is everything all right?”

He sighed and shook his head as he exited the clinic with a half-wave at the medtech on duty at the front counter. “I shouldn’t have called so late. Did I wake you?”

She sighed, and he heard fabric shift in the background. “I was awake. I’m not quite in bed yet. What happened?”

“It was bad, Cara. Murder.” Guilt for telling her filled him like bile. The last thing she needed reminding of was death and violence.

“Oh, Ben. I’m so sorry.” He listened to her silence as he walked in the direction of home. Sitting with Rory had been the last depressing task he had to complete this evening. Reports had been filed, Emmert was processed into custody and placed in the court docket, and the officers he’d called in to help were home. He was done.

“Would you like to talk? Have something to eat? I know it’s late but—”

“Will I disturb Mat if I’m there?”

“He’s a sound sleeper. Don’t worry.” She told him her door code, and her quick reveal of something so vital touched him.

He promised to come over as soon as he’d changed, and she agreed and closed the connection. Ben was afraid he might have blood or debris from the scuffle with the drunken Emmert on his clothes, so as soon as he entered the barracks, he headed for his suite and stripped off anything that might bear a trace of the evening’s tragedy. He dressed again and was across the hallway and plugging in the door code within minutes. Cara waited on the other side, her mouth downturned. She opened her arms, and he fell into her. Her warm softness nestled against all the hard edges of his mood, and he sighed heavily. Her arms swept around his shoulders, and as soon as he lowered his head, she pressed her cheek to his.

She repeated his name in a soft litany that pulled him away from his dark thoughts and brought him back to her which was the best option by far.

“Are you tired?”

“Exhausted and wound up too.”

“Would you like to eat something?”

“Later.”

“After what?” She wriggled and tilted her head back to look at him. Stars, she was beautiful. Ben tried to dampen his arousal but he knew it was a losing battle. The natural reaction to facing death made his drive to live well up like magma from the center of a planet. His urge to demonstrate his vitality, to fight back against annihilation, centered on the woman in his arms. Ben was worn too thin to seduce.

“After I have you.”

Her cheeks flushed gentle pink, and her mouth opened. Before he could move in to kiss her, she’d risen up on her toes and pressed her mouth to his. Her heat infected him, and he lifted her up, spreading her legs around his waist and leaning her against the wall as he ground his hips to hers. It was rough and not what she deserved, but he couldn’t help himself. So soft and shaped perfectly to shelter him. He rocked his hips, and she sucked his lips in counterpoint. Too much blood flowed in his body, he felt as if he shook with the pressure to bury himself inside her.

She drew back, and her head thudded against the wall behind her. A low moan throbbed from her throat, and she opened bleary eyes. She pulled at the edges of her robe, dislodging the top of the pajamas she wore under it. The curve of her collarbone gleamed, and he ducked his head to run his lips along it.

“Please, Ben.” Cara’s breathy little beg nearly undid all his properly socialized behavior. “Touch me, please.”

“Not out here.” He wouldn’t have her second experience be up against a wall in her hallway where her brother might stumble across them at any moment. Mat approved of him at the moment, but that regard would disappear as soon as he saw Ben plunging into his innocent sister as she cried out. And she
would
cry out when they were finally together. He could sense her approaching abandon, and his erection swelled.

“Take me wherever you want.”

He certainly remembered where her bedroom was. Wrapping his arms around her buttocks, he carried her in as quietly as he could. He didn’t want to wake Mat up by blundering through the living area. Cara tightened her hold around his neck as he walked, and she kissed his chin and nuzzled his cheek for the entire journey. He should have shaved before he’d rushed over; her soft lips were being prickled by his stubble.

Her bedroom door was open and a light was on inside, making it easy for him to navigate. As he lowered her to the bed, she clung to him, pulling him down on top of her softness with surprising strength.

“The door, I have to close—”

She stopped his mouth with a kiss, and he relaxed in to it, pleasurable sexual tension easing away the stresses of his evening. His second thoughts about repeating an erotic encounter with her drifted away as he allowed himself to be entranced by her sweet taste and gentle caresses. Before he realized it, he was on his back, and Cara leaned over him, running her hands over his chest, drawing his hands up, and kissing his fingers one by one.

“The door—”

After a nuzzle of his palm, she stood up and went to her door, closing it and turning to face him as she leaned against it. Her cheeks were flushed, and he wondered if it was due to excitement or insecurity. He’d have to approach her carefully. Despite the fact they’d been intimate once before, he hadn’t touched her sexually since that night, so he wasn’t sure what she wanted to do. Probably just kiss and touch; she was still getting used to him. Settling that restriction into his mind, Ben tried to calm down and breathe normally.

“You said before you wanted to see me.” Cara watched him and pressed her lips together as she crossed her hands behind her back. Her robe gaped open and he could see more of the soft green pajamas she always wore. “I’ve been thinking about that.”

“So have I.”

With a push against the door she walked closer to the bed where he lay back on his elbows. As her hand shook, she untied the robe’s sash and caught the garment before it fell to the floor. She tossed it on a chair and turned back to him, her blue-green eyes intent on his. She undid the top button of her shirt, and Ben’s decision to stick with kissing withered as his groin heated up.

“I’m not sure if you’ll like me. I know people have preferences when it comes to physical appearance.”

Was she serious? Ben couldn’t understand how someone as beautiful as Cara Belasco might wonder if she appealed to him. He could be crude and point to his growing erection as a vote of confidence in her beauty, but words would serve better. As he considered this, she unbuttoned two more buttons. He could now see the inner curves of her breasts and her nipples peaking against the fabric. Stars.

“I like you.” Ben swallowed hard as she pulled off the top and tossed it on top of her robe. Her full breasts shifted as she took another step his way, she stood between his feet and looked down at him, her gaze taking in the bulge in his trousers. For a shy person with little experience, Cara was proving to have few inhibitions. “I like the way you look. Very much.”

She nodded once and pulled at the tie holding her pants up, the fabric bunching around the smooth skin of her waist.

“I like the way
you
look. Very much,” she repeated his words back with a smile and let her pants fall to the floor. With a kick, she brought them up to her hand and added them to her discarded clothes. She wasn’t wearing anything else, and all Ben could see was soft skin, full curves, and beautiful woman.

Unable to stay away from her any longer, he reached out for her, rising up to gather her close and press his lips between her breasts. He could feel her heart thudding as she wrapped her arms around him and leaned against his body. Kissing only, he reminded himself as he tasted her warm skin, drew in her rich scent. She ran her fingernails along his scalp, and he realized there were all sorts of kissing he could do.

“Lie down.” Ben encouraged her to join him on the bed, and she settled next to him, her darkened eyes watching his every move as he slid off the edge of the bed and knelt next to her.

*

Cara watched Ben stare at her from his crouch at the edge of the bed and was overwhelmed with her boldness. She’d shed her clothes in front of him without a second thought and was now lying in front of him, shaking with need. What had happened to her modesty? Her need to conceal? She thought she’d feel shy even though this encounter was something she’d desperately hoped for ever since their first time. Her first-ever time.

His eyelids flickered, and he inclined his head her way, running a line of kisses from her knee to the middle of her thigh and back down again on the other leg. That was an interesting sensation, and when he slid a hand behind her knee and encouraged her to open up, she barely noticed since she was so intrigued by how warm and shaky she felt. Now, his mouth brushed up the inside of her thigh, and she relaxed her muscles even more. The sight of his dark head between her legs amazed her, and when she realized what his intended target was, a thrill of anticipation flamed through her body. She’d read about it of course, but never hoped…

With a hiss, Cara shook as his lips moved against her sex. Pangs of pleasure tightened in her groin, and she groaned as he licked deeper into her. All her consciousness could take in was how wonderful the soft strokes of his tongue felt as he explored her, centimeter by centimeter. He shifted closer and guided her legs over his shoulders, and she exhaled in an overwrought gasp as he concentrated on the aching bud within her folds. The unbearable intimacy of it made her curl up and watch him for a moment, his mouth’s gentle movements against such a sensitive part of her body was riveting. He must have noticed her changed posture, because he stopped and glanced up at her. His mouth was wet, and she realized her arousal marked him.

“Let me give you this,” Ben growled and lowered his head back to her throbbing sex.

Not trusting herself to speak with any sort of coherence, Cara lay back and hoped it was enough of a clue she wanted him to continue. He did. More licks as his hands gripped her hips, and she shuddered against him. Hot light flickered through her body, and she climaxed with a low cry, her muscles twitching and her head arching back against her bed as everything she felt convulsed out of her. Again and again she tightened and shook. This was so different from the climaxes she’d given herself, and she wondered for a moment if she was having a seizure.

His touches eased, her body relaxed, and she tried to take in some deep breaths. Her limbs were heavy and hard to control, and she simply lay there unmoving as warm waves of pleasure washed through her, their intensity slowing gradually to a simple glow of satisfaction. She finally noticed Ben again when he reclined next to her on the bed. He could have gone out and gotten himself a snack in the kitchen for all she was aware.

“I take it that went well?”

“Yes. I think so.”

“You’re not sure?”

Cara shook her head and met his gaze. He didn’t look inquiring or forbidding. His eyes gleamed with satisfaction and a smile curved his mouth. “I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”

“Didn’t your readings or vids give you some parameters?” She heard a lilt of amusement in his voice and closed her eyes again, relishing the memory of how out of control her body had been.

“They did, but the terms they used didn’t do it justice.”

Ben made a noise deep in his throat, and she felt his fingertips trail up the inside of her wrist and forearm, the crook of her elbow, and make their way to slide over the swell of her shoulder and collarbone. The bed shifted as he moved nearer, and she smiled as a little puff of his breath warmed her cheek.

“Would you like me to go?”

“No. Stay.” He was big and warm, and she curved against him, his clothing making warm friction against her skin as he rolled over her. “Would it feel that good for you?”

“What?” Ben huffed out his question in her ear, and she tensed at the ticklish sensation.

“If I did that to you, would it feel the same?” Cara couldn’t help herself from asking. She could hardly pretend to be bashful at this point. If she could give him something that shattering, she was determined to try.

Ben drew back and narrowed his eyes. She stared at his lips and mouth, her whole body warming at the thought of him licking and sucking all sorts of her body parts. Of her returning those same caresses.

“It would feel wonderful.”

“Then let me—” Cara wriggled back, intent on sliding lower and trying it out. When else would she have the opportunity? His genitalia was much differently shaped and sized, but she thought she could manage. She’d seen a sketch.

Ben stopped her from moving away by circling his arm around her waist and pinning her down. He shook his head once. “Let’s concentrate on you tonight. That would please me more.”

“Oh, but you already…” Cara stopped talking, because he kissed her, following the same path he’d taken with his fingertips before. Her palm, her wrist, her arm, and shoulder all received attention from his tongue and teeth, and she panted and twisted against him by the time he reached her neck. His shirt and trousers brushed against her, and she pulled at his collar, determined to have some of his skin exposed for her attention.