Dark Secrets (88 page)

He laughed, shaking
his head, then just looked at me for a few seconds. “And I’m sorry
it doesn’t storm like that
every
night.”

My cheeks lifted
first, forcing my lips to follow.

“
Come here.” He
placed a hand on my shoulder and tugged.

My muscles were so
stiff that I slumped down heavily on his bare chest, and every inch
of skin that wasn’t covered by my tank top touched his, making me
shiver inside—a good shiver. “Why did you keep me last night,
Mike?”

“
Are you kidding?” His arms tightened around me for a second.
“You snuggled up so close to me, Ara, with your face and your soft
breath over my chest. Why on
earth
would I put you back in your
room?”

“
Because I’m not
yours.”

“
So you keep telling
me, but yet...” He motioned down at my hand over his
heart.

“
What time is it?” I
asked, moving my hand onto his stomach.

“
Um—” He stretched
his arm out around my back and looked at his watch, forcing me
closer. I liked this closeness. “Midday.”

“
Midday?”

“
Wait a sec.” He
grabbed my arm as I leaped for the side of the bed. “You stay. I’ll
get breakfast. Well, brunch now, I suppose.” He grinned, and his
unshaven, sandy-brown stubble did nothing to hide the sexy indent
in his cheek—not even a little bit.

As he gently pushed me
back onto the pillows, everything from my heart down went numb. His
soft, partially open lips came toward me so slowly that I closed my
eyes and held my breath, waiting for them to touch mine. But, he
kissed my forehead and walked out the door, leaving me
breathless.

I rubbed at my face,
as if maybe I could chafe off some of my awkwardness. I wasn’t sure
I’d ever get this boy thing right. I don’t know, maybe I’d just
waited too long to have him kiss me and now I was plotting scenes
in my mind that were completely opposite to what was going on the
real world. For all I knew, he hadn’t even woken up beside me this
morning. I could be in my own bed right now and not even know
it.

Spreading the covers
out neatly over my ribs, I drew a deep breath of the morning,
smelling the warm scent of toast beneath it. Mike would come back
up soon. I needed to compose myself.

I cupped my hand and
blew into it, nodding with approval when my breath came back
scentless, then knotted my fingers through my hair in a desperate
attempt to tidy my probably very haggard appearance. Okay, so that
wasn’t composure. But I’d been crazy over Mike for so long. I
wanted him to come back up those stairs and look at me like I was
the only girl in the world, then take me in his arms and kiss me—on
the
lips
. Not the
forehead.

“
What ya thinkin’
‘bout?” Mike asked, leaning against the door with a tray in
hand.

“
You.”

“
I
hope so. From the look on your face, you
like
whatever you were thinking
about.”

“
Maybe I do; maybe I
don’t.” I tried not to grin.

He rested the tray on
the foot of the bed and his homely smile set my heart racing
like—like I was the only girl in the world.

“
Where are you, right
now?” he said softly.

I came back to my own
head, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry. Did I faze out again?”

“
Uh, yeah,” he
scoffed. “Just a bit.”

“
Sorry.”

“
What were you
thinking?”

I hesitated. “I
probably shouldn’t say.”

Mike wiped his hand
across his mouth, then laughed once; a short, breathy laugh. “Okay,
well, that’s a good sign, right?”

I nodded, half
shrugging.

“
But…” He patted my
leg through the covers. “You don’t think straight when you’re
hungry. So, I'm not gonna read into that too deeply.”

“
What, you think I'm
delusional?”

“
God, I hope not,” he
said in a breath, sitting down beside me.

I bit my lip. He knew
too well what I’d been thinking—he didn't need to be like David to
be in my head, which was as comforting as it
was…awkward.

“
Here.” He passed me
a plate and I swapped my lip for toast; the peanut butter swirled
around on my tongue with the jelly at the prefect consistency; it
didn’t even stick to the roof of my mouth.

“
Mmm. You’ve always
been the best at making toast.”

“
Must be the chef in
me,” he joked.

“
So, if the chef in you makes good toast, what can the cop in
you do?”
Oh, that was suggestive,
Ara
.

“
I could arrest you?
For dangerously good looks.”

I choked on the toast
for a second, nearly losing it out my nose. “That’s the worst joke
I’ve heard in ages.”

Mike chuckled. “So,
I’m still king, then—of bad jokes?”

“
Right? I forgot
about that,” I mused. “No one here gets it. They think you’re just
trying to be funny and not succeeding.”

“
Don’t worry. I get
ya.” His teeth showed with his gentle smile.

“
You always did.
So—if you’re king, I’m queen, then?”

“
Pardon the bad joke
again, but...” He leaned forward and stroked my cheek in a
melodramatic fashion. “You’ve always been my queen.”

The rumble in the back
of my throat couldn’t decide if it was laughter or a giant scoff.
“Yeah, that was a pretty terrible joke.”

“
Maybe I wasn’t
joking,” he said suggestively.

“
What does that
mean?”

“
I mean—”

“
Wait.” I sat up a
little further and reluctantly put the yummy toast down as a full
speed rant shot off from the starting line. “Don’t bother saying
it. I already know but, Mike, you keep playing this game with
me—saying you’re in love with me, but you touch me and pull away,
or you say things to my dad that make me think I’m imagining all
this, and when we’re alone, you—it’s like you pretend we’re
together and then remind yourself that we’re not. Why? Why do you
do that if you want me? Why do you keep confusing me, Mike? I can’t
do this. I can’t be the girl that takes charge and makes the first
move. I’ll never be that girl. If you want me, you have to make it
clearer than this. You have to be consistent.”

“
Ara?” Mike frowned,
surprised. “Where’s this coming from, baby? What’s
wrong?”

“
This
is what’s wrong. Us,” I yelled
and tried to stand, but he took my hand and pulled me back down,
grinning.

“
Are you saying that...you
love
me?”

“
You know I
do—otherwise I would’ve told you already that I don’t.” I lowered
my head.

“
Holy shit.” He sat
back, his lips parting as he stared at nothing. “Shit. You’re
serious?”

“
You thought
otherwise?”

“
I…” He looked at me
then, rubbing his brow. “I wasn’t sure anymore, Ara. I thought
maybe—” He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter, but…I just can’t
believe it. You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say
that. I just don’t even know what…I just…”

“
You didn’t answer my
question.”

“
Question?”

“
Why did you tell my
dad you don’t want me?”

“
Baby, I—I never said
anything to your dad about not wanting you. What’re you—when was
this?”

“
The other day, when you said that thing about going
home…
alone
. I
don’t do long distance relationships, Mike—they don’t work.” Even
though I’d love David from afar for the rest of my
life.

“
Ara, I didn’t mean
that. I was...” He looked frustrated. “As if I was going to tell
your dad I’d asked you to come home with me. He’d have pulled out
his shotgun right then.”

My eyes narrowed with
an insistent smile. “True. I suppose.”

“
Ara, I want you. You
know that. I…I want nothing more than for you to come home with
me.” He looked at me for a long moment. “And…you know I’d look
after you, right?”

He would. He’d take
very good care of me; love me, protect me, and I’d never want for
anything. “I know,” I said softly.

“
Then…come with me.”
He took my hand, his gentle touch littered with hope. “You could
finish school, go to uni—be a teacher—like you always
planned?”

“
Mike?”

“
Please. Don’t say
anything now. Not if you’re going to say no. Just—” He paused,
releasing a really deep, tense breath, then looked away—far away to
where his thoughts were on the other side of the window. “Whatever
you choose? I already decided I can’t go back—not without you.” A
warm grin lit his face then. “If you stay, I stay.”

The little fold
between my brows tightened. “What about your career?”

“
Ara, you’re the love
of my life.” He took both my hands. “What would my career mean to
me if I didn't have you? God, I only joined because I thought I’d
lost you.”

“
Lost me?”

He sighed and looked
down; sad Mike. “When you moved away—when you refused to even speak
to me—I figured you hated me. And…I don't know, I guess I decided
that if I didn't have you to look after, I’d be a perfect candidate
to risk my own life, because it’d be worth nothing.”

“
Mike? What a horrid
thing to say.”

“
I know. I'm sorry.
It…it wasn’t like a suicide mission or anything. But, I could’ve
joined tactical six months ago. I chose not to because I didn't
want to leave you alone if anything ever happened to me.” Mike’s
eyes softened as they scanned my cheeks and my lips. “When you told
me you fell in love with David, I—I died inside, Ara. I thought
everything was lost. So, if I have to give up Tactical to stay here
and be with you for the rest of my life, it doesn't even need a
second thought. All I ever wanted was you.”

“
So you’d move here?
Throw it all away? What would you do for a job?” My voice of reason
challenged.

“
I’ll be fine. I used
to be a chef, remember? I can get work anywhere.”

“
But you’d need a
working visa.”

“
Or—” He took my
hands again and looked into me with those charming, caramel-colour
eyes, melting my heart like maple syrup on pancakes. “Or, we could
get married. You’re an American citizen now, right?” His tone
softened on the end into a shrug of his shoulder.

“
You’re never getting married. Remember? You
hate
weddings.” I
laughed.

“
No.” He shook his head. “I said I wouldn’t get married until
I found the
right girl
.”

“
But you’d only be
marrying me for a visa.”

“
Oh, come on, Ara.”
He brushed a quick hand through his hair. “I was using it as a line
to open that door. I’ve bloody been trying to cough out a proposal
since the first day I got here.”

Holy crap!
“Why didn't you just ask me?” I played neutral,
concealing the little girl inside me who was jumping up and down,
throwing confetti.

“
Because you would’ve
said no.”

“
You don't know
that.”

“
I didn't wanna risk
it, Ar. I uh…I don’t take rejection as well as I’d like to think I
do.” We both laughed softly. Then, he inched closer, and the
serious Mike I’d come to know more recently slipped into place.
“All I’ve been waiting on is you—for you to realise you love me,
and then, that night, when I didn’t kiss you—”

I looked away, feeling
the pain of the night I lost my mother etching into my
heart.

Mike hooked a finger
under my chin and pulled my face toward his. His lips were so close
I could smell the peanut butter on his breath. It smelled nice.
“You took me by surprise, Ara. It was all I’d ever wanted, you
know? I’d imagined it so many times and, when it finally happened,
I acted like a damn fool. And I lost you. I had to accept that you
were being dragged away from me, had to accept that you wouldn’t
even speak to me, and then, worse, had to break apart hearing you
speak about loving another guy. Do you know how hard it was for me
to play the supporting friend, when all I wanted to do was coax
your naive little mind into believing he didn't want
you?”

“
Why didn't
you?”

“
Because I love you.”
He squeezed my hands. “I wanted you to be happy, and you sounded
happy with him. But…I don't know now, Ara. I'm glad he’s gone,
because, all I've seen so far is the damage he's done to
you.”

I rubbed my hand over
my neck. “It wasn’t like that, you know. He loved me.”

Mike nodded. “I
know.”

“
Do you?” I asked
conceitedly.