Dark Secrets (63 page)

Emily sat on my bed,
shaking her head. “Sensible people die alone, Ara—like my gran and
my Aunt Betty. My dad says
if you don't
fight for love, you have nothing to fight for
.”

Despite numerous
arguments I could squash that statement with, I decided to sever
the conversation instead. “I’ll keep that in mind. Shall we watch
that movie now?”

The quiet hum of
restful breathing filled my room under the howling of the wind
outside. I laid awake, wishing I could put my bedside light on to
illuminate the dark, scary corners of my room. I hugged my copy of
Wuthering Heights and internally sent despise in waves of anger to
the mattress on the floor. I should’ve told Emily I hate scary
movies.

My phone lit the roof
green for a second; I flipped over and reached across the gap
between my bed and nightstand, cautiously, in case The Bogeyman
reached up to grab my hand, then tucked my arms back in quickly
with my phone in hand. The message on the screen read:
Call me if you need me
.

I smiled and texted
back:
Thanks, David.

But, it wasn’t him I
wanted to call.

The green glow
remained on my face and hands, and Emily stirred as the keypad
bleeped when I pinned in the digits of a familiar number. I knew I
should call my boyfriend, but in the darkness, surrounded by the
fear of a storm outside, all I wanted was to hear the homeliness of
Mike’s familiar voice. And with the mere buzzing of the ringtone
down the line, the eerie feeling of isolation slipped away a
little.
Pick up. Come on, Mike. Please,
pick up.

“
Hey, beautiful.
What’s up?” he asked, bringing me home with the sound of his
voice.

“
Hey, Mike,” I
whispered.

“
What happened?” he
asked quickly. “Are you okay, Ara?”

“
Sleepover,” I said.
“Watched a horror movie.”

“
Oh, baby girl. Why
do you do it? What movie was it?”

“
It doesn’t matter.
I’m never sleeping again.”

“
You will—you always
do eventually.”

“
Not for a few weeks,
though.”

Mike laughed. “It’ll
be all right. I’ll be there in a few days, then I’ll sleep by your
wardrobe and keep the monsters from coming out to get
you.”

I chuckled. “It
wouldn’t be the first time.”

“
Ha, yeah, I remember
that night. How old were you then?”

“
Um, fourteen, I
think.”

“
Well, I’m sending a
hug through the phone for ya, okay?”

“
Okay,” I whispered,
actually feeling a little better with that thought.

“
Hey, I was thinking
‘bout you before you called. You must’ve read my mind.”

“
What were you
thinking about this time—me in a blender or something?”

“
Ara, I don’t only
reflect on memories of you in pain.”

“
Hm. Seems like you
do.”

“
It was one memory.
Once.”

“
Two.”

“
No. It was only the
ice cream truck one.”

“
And the other
one.”

“
Which
one?”

I couldn’t think of
one, realising then that I was wrong. “So, now you expect me to
document every conversation we have.”

“
Ara, what is wrong
with you tonight?”

“
What do you mean
what’s wrong with
me
?”

“
You’re doing your
thing.”

“
My
thing?”

“
Yeah, when you twist
my words around until we get in a fight. Don’t do that. I’m not
trying to fight with you, baby. I was just…I wanted to call you…I
was thinking about you—then you called. It surprised me, that’s
all.”

“
You should be used
to it.”

He paused. “It’s been
a long time since we’ve been that in tune with each other,
Ar.”

“
What’s that supposed
to mean?”

He paused
again.

“
Mike?”

Emily rolled over and
stirred with the disruption of my voice through the perfect
silence.

“
I’m still here, Ara.
I just…I need a few seconds, okay?”

“
Okay. I’m just
moving into the spare room.” I walked into the hall, my toes
balancing over the quiet spots in the floorboards that I’d
memorised.

“
Is that the room
I’ll be staying in?”

“
Yep.” I grinned and
leaped through the dark, landing on his bed. “I’m sitting on your
bed.”

“
Maybe you can keep
it warm ‘til I get there.”

“
Yeah, sure, I’m
gonna stay in bed for the next few days,” I said
sarcastically.

He paused again, then,
after a long breath through what sounded like his nose, asked, “So,
how are things with the boyfriend?”

“
Not so good.” I winced; how was the truth so automatic with
Mike? “We’ve kind of decided to break up after the autumn
ball.”
I think.

“
What? Oh, baby girl.
I’m sorry. Why? I mean, why would you do that? I thought you guys
were a sure thing?” Mike’s sympathetic tone brought my tears out
from hiding.

“
I don't want to,
Mike. But he. He has a. Kind. Of. Problem.” I sniffled before the
sobs came breaking through.

“
What is it, baby?
You can tell me.”

“
I know, Mike, but—”
I could feel Mike in the room with me, the way he’d normally hang
up the phone, right about now, and no more than two minutes later
be knocking on my window. But that wasn’t possible anymore, and
after he left here and headed back home in two weeks, it’d never be
possible again. “I—he has a secret and I have to keep it,” I said,
sniffling. “I want to tell you. But I can’t.”

“
Ara, baby, you know
damn well if there’s a secret someone says you shouldn’t tell, you
absolutely shou—”

“
It’s not like that,
Mike. Okay?” I took a moment to compose myself. “Anyway, none of it
matters. He has to leave, and after the last leaf of autumn turns
red and falls from the last tree, he’ll be gone.”

“
What?” Mike scoffed.
“What the hell is that? Some fairytale timeline, bull crap? Leaves
turning red? Ara! Did he hurt you?”

“
No, Mike. He didn’t
hurt me. I mean, not physically. I’m hurting inside, like I always
do, but it isn’t his fault. It’s my decision that caused
it.”

“
Wait. What? Your
decision? Ara. If he hurt you, I swear to God, I’ll—”

“
No, Mike, he never
hurt me, okay? He asked me to come with him. To go away with
him.”

A moment of silence
passed. “Where?”

“
Far away. I’d never
be able to come back.”

I actually felt a
dense cloud wander into his breath, making everything silent before
imminent explosion occurred.

“
Don't worry, Mike. I
told him no,” I added quickly before he could freak out, even
though it was a lie.

The explosion came
across the miles in a loud whoosh of air, the phone line
interpreting it as static. “So, you—what, you’re breaking up
when
?”

“
When winter
comes—maybe before. He said I could count on him staying until at
least the end of summer.”

“
And how…” I heard
him sniffle. “How are you coping with that?”

The sadness of the
idea felt so final, so eternal now that I’d said it aloud. “Not
sure.”

“
Well, you still have
me.”

I laughed out in one
short burst of air. “I know. I’ve always had you.”

“
It’s just not really
a consolation, is it?”

“
Don't be like that,
Mike.”

“
I'm sorry. I just…”
He paused for a few ticks of the clock on the wall. “Do you hate
me, Ar? Is that why you didn't take my calls?”

“
Hate you? Why would
I hate you?”

“
Because of…because
of what happened that night.”

For the first time
since that night, I allowed myself to think about it all—to really
think about it. Did I hate him? He turned me down—rejected me. But
you can't be held responsible for the desires of your heart; it
wasn’t his fault he didn't love me. “It would be easier—if I hated
you.”

“
Don’t say things
like that,” he said softly.

“
Why?”

“
It hurts me to think
of you wanting to hate me.”

“
Why?”

“
You know how I feel
about you, Ar.”

“
Yeah. I
know.”

“
I don't think you
do. I don't think you get it.”

“
What do you
mean?”

“
You can't…you can do
no wrong, baby. All that stuff—everything—it doesn't change the
fact that you will always be my best friend. You know that,
right?”

“
I know, Mike. I
just...can we just forget it ever happened, please?”

“
Already
forgotten.”

I sighed and stood up
from Mike’s soon-to-be bed, then looked out at the twinkling stars
in the sky to the west; they reminded me of David—after our
blissful night on the rooftop—and for the rest of my life, they
always would. Which was funny, really, because, while thoughts of
my dark knight remained with the midnight sky, thoughts of my Mike,
my warmth, would always be the beaches and sand—the blue skies. Two
separate parts that made my days whole—made my world.

“
You okay, Ara?” Mike
asked.

“
Just thinking how
much I’ll miss you.”

“
I’ll be there soon,”
he said.

“
I know, but you’ll
be gone soon, too.”

Mike sighed. The sound
strengthened the memory of his face; his prominent jaw, with a kind
of arrogant set to it that was completely softened by his charming
smile—the kind of smile that made you a part of his world when he
offered it to you. I could see his shaggy, sandy-coloured hair, the
blonde tones lighter in the summer, and his autumn-brown eyes,
deep, like leaf-covered pools.

“
Where are you, Ara?
What world of thought have you slipped away to this time?” he asked
in a soft, almost whisper.

“
A world I don’t want
to be in.”

“
Just hold tight a
few more days, kid. I’ll be there to pull you out soon.”

I smiled to myself. “I
miss you.”

“
I miss you too,
kiddo.”

Chapter
Twenty-Three

“
I’ll be back before
dark,” I called to Dad, closing the lid on Vicki’s sewing
box.

“
It’s going to
rain—you’ll need a coat,” he yelled from upstairs.

I stuffed the pilfered
pin into my pocket, taking a quick look at my bare arms, then
tiptoed out the front door, pulling it quietly closed behind
me.

“
Take a jacket,”
David said sternly.

“
God!” I jumped back
from the vampire. “You gotta stop popping up like that.”

“
Jacket.”

“
Oh, fine.” I went to obey, then stopped, folding my arms.
“Actually, no. If you want me to bring one—
you
can go get
it.”

His eyes slowly
narrowed above his tight jaw, an invisible rope bringing his
shoulders back, making them straight and hard. I swallowed, about
to shift my hand and place it on the doorknob, when a breath of
wind swept my hair back and David grabbed my hand, leading me to
the car—with my jacket over his forearm.

“
I love how you do
that.”

“
Hm,” is all he
said.

We sat quietly on the
first half of the drive out to the lake, not a peaceful silence
either—a deliberate one. I had nothing good to say to him today
after that whole dress incident last night.

“
Vicki seems happy
about your dress,” David chimed, a flash of pure white teeth
gleaming through his dark pink lips.

“
I’m sure.” I folded
my arms.

“
Oh, come on, Ara.
You’re not really mad, are you? It’s a dress, let it
go.”

“
It’s not the dress I have a problem with—” And all of a
sudden, we were arguing again. “It’s the fact that you went behind
my back. You picked through mine or Vicki’s brain until you found
what
you
wanted,
then took it upon yourself to force me in a direction I didn’t want
to go.”

David smiled. “But you
love the dress.”

Even though I refused
to look at his charming smile, I could still feel its warmth. My
arms dropped to my sides. “I do love the dress. But I’m just afraid
it’ll always be like this, David. That you won’t respect my
decisions.”
Like the one to stay
human.