Dark Secrets (49 page)

“
So, you weren’t
planning to see me again.” He nodded to himself.

“
It’s not that. I
just…I thought, you know, after I broke up with you the other day
that, maybe, I wouldn’t get the chance.”

“
I wasn’t going to
give up on you that easily.” He paused then, thoughtful. “Does it
make you afraid? To be here alone with a vampire?”

“
It’s no different to
before, really.” I slumped on the rug, across from David, tucking
my dress under my legs as I sat. “I’ve always been out here
alone—with a vampire.”

“
Yes, but…” sadness
stole his smile, “—now, you’re repulsed by me.”

I twiddled my fingers
in my lap. “I was wrong to react that way, David. I’m not repulsed
by you, not really. I just…I have to separate it in my mind; this
boy I’m in love with from this vampire who kills.”

“
Why do you separate
it? Why not just accept it—accept me, for what I am?”

“
I guess I accept it
in my own way. It’s like, I mean, if you were lost in the wild
after a plane crash and had to eat the pilot to survive, no one
would think anything of it. Humans are the element of your
survival, and…I don’t think that changes who you are
inside.”

“
Of course it does,
my love. You said it yourself—you couldn’t see me being a guy who
liked blood and gore. If I kill, if I enjoy killing, that has to
change what you thought I was.”

After thinking about
that for a second, feeling the pull of nerves in my throat, I shook
my head. “No. You’re a good guy. I know you are.”

“
I am now. I wasn’t
before I met you.”

“
Are you trying to
convince me to hate you?”

“
No. Only make you realise that you can’t just
say
you accept me for
who I am. I am a vampire. I kill people. Some of them you may have
met. If you accept me, you have to accept me for everything I am.
Not just the lie you tell yourself.”

“
Well, I guess
that’ll take more time. Baby steps.”

He nodded. “Baby
steps. Fine. But we don’t have much time.”

“
It’s okay. Making
the decision to accept that I still love you was the hard part. I
should move along from despise and repulsion quite quickly after
that.”

“
Onto
what?”

“
Extreme bliss,
hilarity—the mind’s way of dealing with what it doesn’t
understand.”

“
And then
what?”

I shrugged. “Maybe
true acceptance.”

“
But, you’re not
about to come hunting with me or anything, are you?” He
smirked.

I tried not to be
offended, but I actually really just wanted to slap him. “That’s
not funny.”

“
Sorry.” He looked
down by his leg and brushed a few leaves away that fell from a
tree. “So, you don’t want me to leave with my uncle?”

I shook my head. “Not
yet.”

“
You’ll give me until
the end of the summer, then?”

“
If that’s all we can
have.”

One corner of his
mouth turned up ever so slightly. “But, you won’t give me
forever?”

“
Forever,” I laughed
the word out. “That used to have such a different meaning to me.” I
smiled and looked away. “I can’t even comprehend eternity, David.
It’s too much for my puny human brain to take.”

“
Yes, you can. Try
this—think of the longest day you’ve ever spent,” he said, sitting
up.

I thought of
Wednesday—the day before the funeral; a whole day not knowing if
I’d ever see him again.

“
Now, spend the rest
of your life like that,” he said, his voice dropping.

“
Is it really that
miserable?”

“
Not all of it.” He
tried to smile, shifting his fingers from the tangled hold in his
hair to the ground beside him. “There are good things. But you get
tired sometimes, you know? And then, once in a while, if you’re
lucky, you come across something that makes your life worth
living.”

I held the smile on my
lips, but it went stale in my soul. “And what about when I’m gone?
Will you find another person to love, then?”

“
See, you just don’t
get it.” He shook his head, leaning back on his hands. “There was a
time where I was just existing, and I never knew any better. But
when I saw you, when I held you, you burrowed right into my soul,
Ara. You reached a part of me that has never been touched before
and I—” He looked away. “I’ll never be the same again. Wherever I
go, whatever I do in this world, I will never find another reason
to live as good as you.”

“
If you love me that
deeply, can’t you just stay with me then—be human?”

“
I’m not human, Ara,”
he said, poorly disguising the ache in his voice.

“
I know.”

“
I never will be
human. I’m a vampire. Even if I could get approval to stay with you
for the next eighty years, what then? I’d have one measly lifetime
with you—pretending all the while to be human, watching you age
just a little bit more each day, until every ounce of life withers
away from your soul and I lose you for good.”

“
But at least we
would have lived—been a family, had a life together.”

“
One life. One. When
we could have an eternity.”

“
So, that’s it; no
negotiation? Your way or the highway?” I scoffed.

“
It’s not my way,
girl. Do you think I want this?” He pointed to his chest. “God,
even if I was willing to stick around to watch you die, it’s not up
to me.”

“
Well, who
decides?”

“
The World
Council.”

“
Can’t we reason with
them?”

“
No. Discussion
closed.”

“
Why?”

“
Ara, humour me,
please—just stop pushing.”

“
No, why can’t we
reason with them?”

“
Because they do
not
negotiate the laws. Vampire’s in my position
stick to their Sets—no matter what.”

“
Sets?”

“
It’s what we call
the communities we belong to—clubs, sort of.”

“
Vampire clubs?” My
brow arched.

“
I
said
sort of
like
clubs. They’re there to protect vampires from
your
society.”

“
So,
we’re
the dangerous ones, now?”

“
Yes. Do you know
what could happen if vampires were discovered? It could start a
war.”

“
Would that not be a
good thing? You guys would win—then you could live in
peace.”

“
That’s not the
point, Ara. And we would never be in peace. Fear can turn good
people into an angry mob. And then…what if we lost? We’d end up
locked away or in a science lab being tested on so humans could
wield or recreate our powers.”

“
Oh.”

“
Yes, oh.” He smiled.
“Without a Set, you are exposed, out in the open—no one to help
cover up a bad kill, no one to assist with identity change. And I
know better than anyone that vampires must be kept under a tight
rein—if not, they can become unruly. The law applies to all. Not
just those who feel special because they’re in love.”

“
But, it would only
be for eighty years, then you could go back.”

“
It doesn’t work like
that. They don’t grant leave to people in my political
position.”

“
Political
position?”

“
Yes. I’m a Set
leader—on the minor council.”

“
Can’t you
quit?”

“
Would you really ask
me to give it up for you, Ara?” One of his eyes narrowed. “Because
I could. I could leave, but I’d be hunted like a dog—face
imprisonment.”

“
Prison?”

He nodded. “And why
would I want to quit? I’ve worked hard—spent decades doing
unspeakable things to obtain my position. I enjoy my job,
Ara.”

“
Well, can’t I just
come with you—but stay human?” I asked carefully.

He shook his head
softly. “No. It’s against the law.”

“
Really?”

“
Yes, either you
become a vampire or I have to leave you behind at the end of the
summer.”

“
Does…does it hurt…to
be changed?”

“
Yes.”

“
If I—say I decided
to be like you, what then?”

“
Well, it wouldn’t
happen overnight. There are processes to go through. But we’d take
our time, prepare you—get you used to the idea first. I wouldn’t
rush you.”

“
Who would I
kill?”

“
Who?”

“
Yeah, I mean, is it
random or do you choose them?”

“
Well.” He grinned
and picked an ant off the rug, then tossed it onto the grass. “I
usually avoid eating comedians.”

“
Why?” I asked
slowly.

“
Because they taste
funny.”

I imagined a
tumbleweed rolling past. “That wasn’t funny.”

“
Okay. Sorry.” He
shook his head, smiling, then painted his serious face on again.
“Every vampire is different, and the hunt or the kill, it’s very
intimate—asking a vampire how he kills is almost as personal as
asking what colour underwear he’s wearing.”

“
Oh, sorry. I didn’t
realise.”

“
No, it’s fine. We’re
in an intimate relationship, Ara, so it’s okay for you to
ask.”

I liked that. I felt
special. “So, how do
you
choose them?”

“
It used to be
random—usually women. Now, it’s men. I stalk them for a bit, see if
they’re worthy of existing, if not—” He shrugged to
finish.

“
And you enjoy it?
The…kill?”

“
Yes.”

My body shuddered
involuntarily. “And you
feel
for them after?”

“
Now
, I do. But only as bad as you’d
feel for knocking an old lady over in the
street.”

For some reason, I
pictured an old lady falling from her walking frame. “How often do
you eat?”

“
Every couple of
days. I can go for as long as five days, but it gets
very…uncomfortable.” He readjusted his position.

That wasn’t so bad. At
least it wasn’t three square meals a day.

David chuckled
lightly.

“
So…are you hungry
now?” I asked.

“
No. I would never be
that irresponsible again. To be here alone with you would be
dangerous if I were deprived.”

Dangerous?
“But you said…just before, in my backyard, that I
never have to be afraid of you.”

“
Only because I will never
again
take risks with
you.”

“
So, have you ever
wanted to…feed from me?”

“
Yes.”

My breath caught in my
throat, and an uneasy silence hovered around us. David’s lip
twitched, one eye narrowing ever so slightly, making my heart warm
as I read the uncertainty behind his gaze. Then, I burst out
laughing. “You should see the look on your face.” I pointed at him.
“You’re not sure if you should’ve said that, are you?”

The sweet, familiar
smile tugged at the corner of his lip for a second, then, it broke
into a broad, honest grin as he laughed along with me. “I just
don’t want to frighten or repulse you. I’m never sure what to
say.”

I let my bottom lip
slip forward into a pout for a second. “I’m sorry. It must be hard
for you.”

“
Hard?” He breathed
out, leaning forward a little more. “That doesn’t even begin to
describe it.”

“
So, do you find it
hard keeping yourself a secret, you know, your
abilities?”

“
Ha! Yes. Especially
in emotional situations.”

“
Which is why you
always take off?”

“
Yes, like that day
at school—” He smiled leadingly. “In the hallway.”

I looked up at him.
“Do you mean when I—” I realised then that he would’ve seen
everything I was thinking that day. I covered my cheeks. “Oh my
God.”

He chuckled. “It was
worse for me. I wasn’t sure what to do, you know. That hallway was
full of people, and I just wanted to stand there and watch your
thoughts unfold. Then, at the point I couldn’t take anymore, I
wanted to—”

“
To float away or
something?”

“
No.” He looked up
from the ground and smiled. “I was about to lift you in my arms and
run, vampire-speed, to the storage room under the auditorium
stage.”

“
You would not,” I
said, my tone ringing in question.

“
Ara.” He raised one
brow. “I’m a guy. Not a saint.”

“
Well, what…” I
crossed my legs under me, shifting nervously. “What would you have
done with me in there?”