Cutting Loose (2 page)

She exhaled softly and said, “Shit, I
don’t know. About six months?”

“Six months?” repeated Sabrina hotly.
“You’ve got to be shitin’ me.”

“I shit you not.”

Sabrina collected her thoughts. She
calmed down and said, “You know what, Jasmine? You can have Carl sorry as. He
means absolutely nothing to me, do you understand?
Nothing!
”

Without any emotion, Jasmine asked,
“Anything else you want to get off your chest before I hang up?”

“Yeah. Put him on the phone.”

She heard a few words being exchanged in
the background. Then she heard Carl’s voice. “Baby, I am so sorry.”

“Don’t ‘baby’ me. How could you do this
to me? And on the night of our supposedly two-year anniversary, no less! You
sick son of a bitch! I hate you, Carl. I really do.”

“See, that’s why things didn’t work out
between us; everything is always about you.”

“Don’t you dare try to make this my
fault! I’ll be damned if I take the blame for your bullshit. I was always there
for you, Carl.
Always
. Even when my friends told me you were no good and
bath-mouthed you, I stood by your side and defended you. And what do I get in
return? I get a big fuck-you Sabrina. But it’s all good. But it’s cool. What he
had is over. Let the bitch know she can have your sorry ass. I’m through!”

“Sabrina, wait—”

“Fuck you, Carl!”

Click!

She couldn’t fight the tears anymore and
let them roll down her cheeks as she buried her face in her hands. She could
not believe what just happened. All along throughout the duration of her
relationship with Carl she knew something was going on that she didn’t know
about. But she didn’t know that Carl would do this to her. And that bitch
Jasmine had the nerve to be all calm like she knew Carl was going to end up
with her before it all went down.

Images of her and Carl invaded her
thoughts and that only made her hate him that much more. This had to be some
kind of nightmare. It had to be. There was no way she could spend two years
with a guy she thought was a man. But as she looked back through all the bullshit,
she realized he only possessed half of the qualities of the man she needed him
to be.

There were some happier times when she
actually cared about him but Sabrina refused to put herself through any more
frustration. He wasn’t even worth it. She went upstairs to her bedroom. Once
there, she collapsed on her bed and cried some more.

Sabrina just couldn’t comprehend how
someone could be so damn cruel, especially when she hadn’t done anything to
deserve such mistreatment. She never cried so hard before; her eyes were
burning, head hurting. She was so distraught and in disbelief she wanted the
night to be over with already. She closed her eyes, hoping to fall into a deep
sleep and wake up the next morning as if this night never happened. But then
the phone rang. It was after ten. Who in the hell could be calling her this
late?

It went straight to the answering
machine and was surprised when she heard Larissa’s voice. She didn’t feel like
dealing with anyone at the moment, but Larissa was an exception.

“Hey, Larissa.”

“What’s wrong, Rina?” She could sense it
in her voice that something was up. “Let me guess; I was right wasn’t I?”

“Yes! That son of a bitch was with
Jasmine all along.”

“Oh, my God. That’s a damn shame. But
you know that Carl was a dog anyways. He wasn’t good for you. Why are you
crying?”

“Because that’s all I can do is cry! I
can’t believe he did this to me. What did I do to deserve this?”

“Sabrina, listen. It wasn’t your fault.
Stop crying over that bastard.” She paused and said, “I got a great idea.”

“I’m not in the mood to drive over there
and kick his ass like I want to. So you can forget about that idea.”

“That wasn’t on my mind until you just
brought it up, but how about you get your Fuck ‘Em Dress on and we hit the
club? I haven’t been out a while and you could use a drink or two. “

“I’d love to, but I’m a mess right now
and I really don’t want to be around any men right now.”

 “Okay,” Larissa said, finally
relenting. “Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

She hung up the phone and crawled into
bed. She was so frustrated all she could do was cry herself to sleep.

***

The sound of the doorbell interrupted
work on her so-called day off. She glanced at the clock that read 7:30 A.M.
Then she heard it again. She bounced out of her office chair, slipped into her
slippers and went down stairs. She peeped through the front window to find the
last person she wanted to see standing at her doorstep.

“What do you want?” she demanded after
opening the door and stepping outside into the cool morning breeze.

Carl was standing in front of her
looking rugged as ever; his hair unkempt, his face looking as if he hadn’t
shaved in days and his clothes were baggy and messy. He took off the sunglasses
he were wearing and said, “Hi. Um, I know it’s been a couple months since our
breakup and all but I just wanted to come by to check on you.”

“Oh, really now?”

“Yeah. And from our last conversation
you didn’t give me a response on whether or not you were coming to me and
Jasmine’s wedding.”

“Are we really having this conversation,
Carl? Let’s be real for once. “She rolled her eyes, hopping he would get the
message and leave her the hell alone. Carl had never been the brightest tool in
the box and let it show as he stood there.

“Well, believe it or not, I would not
have invited you if I wasn’t serious. Besides, I know if you were getting
married to some guy and you invited me to your wedding I would be glad to
come.” He paused and added, “I know you should be the one I should be marrying
after all the history we have together, but I can honestly say that you deserve
someone better than me.”

For the first time in a long time she
actually believed him. Over the past few weeks it was as if Carl had been
transformed into a totally different person, in a good way. She wasn’t happy at
all to see that he had moved on and was going to be marrying the bitch he left
her for. But as he stood before her full of remorse, even if he was faking it, she
couldn’t help but take him seriously. Plus, he actually sounded like he was
genuine about inviting her to his wedding, something she never, ever thought
she’d agree to—going to an exes wedding was just weird, especially when she
hadn’t moved on with her own life.

But she couldn’t get over the fact that
he was admitting that he believed she deserved better. No guy had ever told her
that, whether they wanted to admit it or not.

Pulling away from her thoughts, she
turned to Carl. “That really means a lot coming from a guy like you.”

He chuckled. And for the first time in a
long time she felt like things between them didn’t have to be as bitter as
their breakup was and she was actually beginning to see why she fell so hard
for him when they first met during freshen orientation nearly five years ago.
“Thanks,” he said coolly.

A moment or so later she asked, “Well, it’s
cool out here. Do you want to come in and grab the rest of your shit? I was
this
close to giving it all away in a garage sell.” Okay, so the last part was a
lie. Like he was ever going to know?

He contemplated his decision for a
moment or so and said, “Sure, why not? I don’t see any harm in it.”

“Trust me, you don’t have to worry about
me trying to make any moves on you; I don’t want your cheating ass.”

Chapter Three:

Priceless

She should have known she was going to
end up working on Saturday, even though at first she was against it. But it
wasn’t like she had a date or any kind of plans. Besides, she had a million
other more important things to worry about than crying for the umpteenth time
about how many guys in the past decided to dump her and use the poor excuse
that she was “too ambitious” and when she wasn’t working, she was too busy
thinking
about work.

Sitting behind her desk, she hated the
mere fact that she was working on a weekend when she could be on a date with
her future husband or hanging with her girlfriends. She didn’t know why she let
small things like that get to her. Maybe it was the realization that her mother
was right when she told Sabrina that she was going to end up alone with a house
full of cats.

Sabrina was starting to feel like her
dream of finding a decent man was slowly but surely being demolished by her
workload and fact that she was so close-minded to new ideas and trying new
things. But how in the world was she going to find a single man in Florida who
wasn’t gay, married, locked up in prison, unemployed or stuck paying child
support from his baby mother(s)? The closest she came to that was Carl and that
dream was all kinds of fucked-up.

Dating was so much easier in high school
when boys were all hyped up on testosterone and was only interested in sex,
being popular and playing video games. Then when she got in college the guys
she dated at Columbia were too rigid for her tasting but the pickings were slim
and all the same. Until she met Carl—a smooth-talker from the South who knew
what to say and knew how to get things done. From the first moment she laid
eyes on him, she was sprung. And from the first time she let him in, she knew
she was never going back to the status quo.

Sitting at her desk, she found herself
bawling tears of anguish, hate, and envy all at once because she failed to do
her job, which was to take care of her man when he was hers. And as a result,
he ran off to be with another woman who could make him happy and do the job
better than she could. God, she felt like a total loser for even thinking about
his sorry ass.

“Rina, are you okay?”

She looked up to see her half-sister Camille
standing in front of her desk with this weird look on her face. Like Sabrina,
she was tall, stunning with minimal makeup, and sophisticated (when she wasn’t
being a bitch) and that’s where the comparisons ended. Camille proudly flaunted
her flat-chest instead of her brain and was no stranger to begging to be in the
spotlight. Sabrina was proudly thick in the hips and inherited a hook nose from
her biological father, whom she hadn’t seen since the day she was born.

Sabrina attempted to wipe the tears from
her face and said, “Yeah, I’m fine. What are you doing here?”

“I was on my way to get something to eat
when I heard boo-hooing in the hallway. What’s wrong? Did Carl move up the
wedding date?”

“No. Fuck him. I’m so sick of hearing
his name. I swear to God if I hear his name one more time I’m going to lose my
damn mind.”

“It sounds like you already did.” She
took a dramatic deep breath and asked, “When was the last time you took a day
off?”

More tears began to build up as Sabrina
sobbed, “Honestly, I can’t even remember.”

Camille chucked as she glanced over
Sabrina’s wrecked emotional state. “Look, just go ahead and take the rest of
the day off. You’re being unprofessional right now.”

 Sabrina fought the urge to come up with
a retort. “I know. But I have a lot of work to get done.”

“Are you sure? ‘Cause you look like hell.”

“Actually,” Sabrina said, considering
her words, “I think I’ll do that. I need to chill out. Thanks.” Even though she
was still a bitch.

That said, she grabbed her purse, headed
out of her office and rode the elevator to the lobby. Out of the building, she
found her car in the parking lot with no clue where she wanted to go. Maybe she
could go home and sleep in for the rest of the day. Or she could treat herself
to a new wardrobe.

Two traffic lights and one helluva
headache later, she found herself at the grocery store shopping for nothing in
particular. Hell, she was in no mood to cook. Last time she tried that, she
damn near burned the house down while trying to fry fish for Carl the way his
mom made it. That didn’t work out too well, even though she followed the
directions of the cookbook. Some people just weren’t meant to be in the kitchen
and she was one of them.

She dismissed those thoughts as she
killed the engine of her car and proceeded into the store. She grabbed a
shopping cart and didn’t know where to start. She felt lost like a whore in
church; just clueless. She didn’t have a shopping list and didn’t know what she
needed to buy or anything. Then she remembered she was out of deodorant and she
could use some more shampoo and conditioner as well. She wasn’t in much of a rush
so she proceeded to the first aisle she saw and browsed the cosmetic section.
She grabbed some deodorant, shampoo and a lot of conditioner. She also picked
up some lotion and other stuff that caught her eye that she didn’t need.

The next aisle was full of crap.
Followed by another aisle full of crap, which was crowded with a bunch of
people scrounging for crap. She came across a box of pancake mix that looked
really simple when all you had to do was add water. She grabbed two just for
the hell of it and threw some syrup in the cart with it. Her cart was
practically empty compared to what some people were stocking theirs with. She
stopped near the wine section and figured it had been a while since she bought
some to sit back and relax with. She stood there for at least ten minutes
trying to make up her mind.