Cutting Loose (9 page)

 “I guess you know what that means,”
whispered Sean.

Sabrina snickered and whispered back,
“Yup. Time for ‘the talk.’ No sweat.” She gave Sean’s shoulder a squeeze before
they both headed back inside. While Sean made a beeline for the recliner and
glued his eyes to the football game, Sabrina followed Dorothy upstairs.
Surprisingly, they ended up in Sabrina’s childhood bedroom—the same room that
held so many secrets and late night rendezvous and phone conversations that
went on all night.

 Her old bedroom looked just the same as
it did when she moved out for college to stay in the dorms—the whole room was
decorated lavishly in purple and pink furnishings, all coordinating to create a
princess theme. Yeah, it was dorky, but to Sabrina it was the one place in the
entire house where she could be alone and hideout. Her mother sat on the edge of
the queen-sized sleigh bed. Sabrina slid beside her. The smooth, silk sheets
were so inviting she almost wanted to lay her head back and fall asleep.

She turned to Dorothy and asked, “So,
what’s up, Mom?”

Dorothy smiled, her face lost in
nostalgia. “Oh, Sabrina. Where have the years gone?” She laughed softly. “I can
still remember the day I bought this house. I don’t how you did it, but as soon
as you saw this room you claimed it as yours. Camille was so envious of you
because you beat her to it. Wasn’t there a boy who lived next door? He used to
peep into your room all the time to see if he could catch you naked?”

Sabrina laughed out loud. “Oh my God,
yes. How could I forget Mitchell Baxter? He was so ugly, I mean even without
the braces and the bad acne, he didn’t stand a chance.”

“He tried though, bless his little
heart.” She paused. “You know, I never really thought about all the sacrifices
I had to make for you girls. Especially you, before Sean came into the picture.
It must have been hard on you, huh?”

 “Hard would be an understatement. I
remember the days of eating cup noodles three times a day, sometimes more than
that. And that nasty ass government peanut butter. Yuck!”

 Dorothy laughed. “It just about killed
me to eat peanut butter and syrup sandwiches to the point where I stopped
eating anything involving peanuts, or syrup. Then I met Sean. He was my saving
grace.”

 Saving grace? Sabrina laughed to
herself. The man was a walking paycheck compared to all the other losers her
mother got mixed up with when she was working at the strip joint. From the
alcoholic to the gambler, to the chain-smoking asshole, Sabrina could remember
just about all losers her mother brought home. She resented her mother a lot
back then, especially the time her mother was working and one of her
“customers” came to the house and tried to talk Sabrina into prostituting. All
she had to do was kick him in balls and that taught him.

Her mother was taking again. “God has
truly blessed me.” She placed her hand on Sabrina’s and said, “Honey, I am so
glad and fortunate that you didn’t stray and live the life that I had to. And I
hope that someday you will have your own saving grace. You do believe in love
right? Even after the crap you had to go through with Carl?”

Sabrina thought about it for a second.
And honesty, she didn’t even know how to respond without telling a lie. Carl
was a sorry excuse for a man and she wasn’t going to let him ruin her
perception of men. He took her kindness for weakness and she knew eventually,
Karma was going to bite him in the ass.

 “I guess I do,” said Sabrina quietly.
“Carl is only one man, right? There will be others.” Like Brett, she thought.

 “You are right about that.”

By the time dinner was finished, Sabrina
had completely lost her appetite. It was mostly due to the fact that she
couldn’t stop thinking about Brett. Her mother triggered something inside of
her that made her question her own judgment and the way she had been going on
for the past few months without Carl. She was stronger without him and she damn
sure wasn’t falling apart without him.

 Yes. She was stronger without him in
her life, making her believe that because he was the man in the relationship
that he got to call all the shots. Hell to the no.

Even though the food looked and smelled delicious,
she made a plate and picked at her food, taking a few nibbles her and there
just to keep Dorothy from hounding her with questions. Camille had the nerve to
ask her if she had an eating disorder. Funny she should joke about a disease
that she struggled with firsthand; sticking her finger down her throat just so
she could be thin enough to look like the other rail-thin girls back in high
school. Completely unnecessary and pathetic.

She ignored Camille and made herself a
plate to go. Once dinner was over, it was such a relief that Sabrina was free
to go home and back to her own world.

It wasn’t until she was cruising along
the highway on her way back home that she heard a song on the radio that
inspired her to stop being such a procrastinator and give Brett a chance. All
in all, she was tired of her mother complaining about how good of a man Carl
was and being compared to Camille’s dating lifestyle. She’d finally had enough
and decided she was going to make it her mission to call Brett and go out on a
date with him, no matter how much it scared her to death.

Chapter Eight:

Winner Takes All

It started out like any other normal
week but it was anything close to it. Maybe it was the refreshing start she had
ever since she realized she was ready to go on a date with Brett, despite that
fact that it had been a while since she went on an actual date. When Brett
called her up out of the blue she felt a mixture of emotions building up inside
her, most of all it was the anticipation of knowing that she was no longer
going to spend nights alone in her bed pleasuring herself to sleep to some
fantasy that was never going to become reality.

She had to admit that she was also
scared. Sacred that for once in her life she was going to do things the way she
wanted to do, not the way her mother thought they should. That’s exactly why
things went wrong with her and Carl; listening to her mother’s mouth instead of
instead of following her own mind and her own heart.

Sabrina didn’t want to waste her time
moping around like a sad puppy. She figured he would call her when he was
ready. So she found herself at home on a lonely Wednesday night munching on
leftover spaghetti from the night before, sitting in front of the TV watching
reruns.

She was caught off guard completely when
the phone rang and made her jump a little. She figured it was either Larissa or
Cassandra calling to bug her about some drama and decided to let the answer
machine get the call. She damn near jumped off the sofa when she heard Brett’s
baritone voice speaking. She ran over to the counter and grabbed the phone off
of the stand just in time.

“Hi, Brett. I thought you were one of my
girlfriends. How are you?”

 “Oh. I’m fine, thanks for asking. And
yourself?”

“I’m okay I guess. I can’t complain too
much.”

“Same here.” He waited a beat and said,
“I’ve been thinking about you lately and was just wondering when you were free
to hang out.”

She couldn’t contain herself from
blurting out, “Um, I’m free tonight actually.”

“Really? So I am I. Since we’re both
free, I was thinking maybe we can go grab a bite to eat or something.”

“Okay. That sounds like a plan to me.”

“I’ll come by around seven. Is that
alright?”

“It’s perfect. See you then.”

Sabrina tossed the cordless phone on the
sofa and danced around to her own tune of happiness. “I got a date tonight!”
she screamed aloud.

After looking at the clock and realizing
she only had two hours to pull herself together, she ran straight to her
bedroom and rumbled through her closet. Once there, she pulled out the many outfits
she bought at the mall when she and Cassandra went shopping for this day. She
tried on each one and couldn’t make up her mind. She knew from experience that
first impressions meant everything, especially on a date. She figured since
they were going out to eat it was best to wear something safe like a nice top
and a pair of jeans and maybe boots or heels to give her some height.

She didn’t know why she was making
things so hard for herself. All she really needed to do was put on something
comfortable, but chic and sexy all at the same time. She stepped out of the
shower and dressed in a black cashmere top over a pair of high-waist
formfitting jeans that complimented her slim figure and topped it off with a
pair of flats.

She wasn’t too concerned with her hair
because she just had it permed and let it naturally falls down to her shoulder.
She put on a little bit of makeup with a touch of lip-gloss on her lips and a
little eye shadow to make her eyes pop.

After she gave Brett the directions to
her place she sat in the living room anxious as hell, tapping her feet. She
thought about calling either Larissa or Cassandra to get some last minute
advice and then she remembered the pamphlet thing she got from Cassandra and
read some of the tips. She made a mental note not to be boring or stiff and
remember to relax. It wasn’t like she just met the guy off the street. After
all, she did have a drink with him and a few conversations.

 The knock on the door nearly made
Sabrina jump out of her skin, even though she saw the headlights through the
window of the living room where she was sitting.

She walked over the threshold to the
foyer and opened the door. Just the sight of Brett alone practically took her
breath away; he was clean-shaven and nicely dressed in a blue knit shirt to
show off his incredible pecs, over a white t-shirt and a nice pair of black jeans.
His auburn hair was swept back with a minimal amount of hair gel.

Brett smiled and said, “You’re looking
lovely.”

She could feel the blood rushing to her
face as she smiled. “Thanks, Brett. You look really nice.” Nice enough to take to
her bedroom…

They stood there for a split second or
so in silence before Brett broke the silence and said, “So, are you ready to
go?”

“Yeah,” Sabrina said. “I just need to
grab my purse and we can go.”

Even as she sat just inches away from
him in the passenger seat of his sedan, she could smell his enticing cologne
and so badly wanted to reach out and touch his hand, just to feel something. It
had been so long since she felt a man’s touch she felt it was only necessary to
satisfy her curiosity sooner or later. Now was definitely not the time.

So she kept her cool until they pulled
into the parking lot of a local upscale-looking restaurant that was a hotspot
for tourist and celebrities. She instantly had a flash back once she saw the
name of the place and realized it was the same exact place Carl had taken her
on their first date. A part of her wanted to scream out and throw a tantrum at
the mere thought of her ugly past with Car—and she was not about to revisit the
past or possibly set off a chain of events to end up the same way twice.

Immediately she turned to Brett and
asked, “Can we please go somewhere else?”

He looked puzzled. “Sure. May I ask why
you?”

She paused before she responded, “I will
tell you later, just not right now. Trust me, it’s a long story.”

He smiled and said, “Okay. What are you
in the mood to do? Are in the mood for some food or you want to have fun or a
mixture of both?”

She thought about it for a second or so.
“A mixture of both would be nice.”

He started the engine and said, “Cool. I
know the perfect place to go.”

She relaxed a bit, thinking that maybe,
just maybe, the date was off to a bumpy start but she was confident in Brett.
He looked as if he knew what he was doing; even though it wasn’t his fault
Sabrina had a bad history with a restaurant that she refused to let resurface.

Momentarily they arrived at a place
where Sabrina never thought she would find herself in a million years: a
bowling alley. Just stay calm and remember to have fun or at least try to have
fun, she said to herself. How bad can bowling be?

Brett got out and opened her door for
her. “Have you ever been bowling before?” He asked on their way inside.

“Nope. I guess there’s a first time for
everything.”

He chuckled and said, “Don’t worry,
Sabrina, I’ll show you how to bowl. I promise you’ll love it.”

“I hope so.”

She had to pause for a moment before she
took a step into the place just to think about what she was about to do.

It wasn’t the fact the she was about to
go bowling for the first time. Or the fact that she never pictured herself
going to a bowling alley on a first date. None of that mattered. It was more of
the fact that she was letting her mind fool her into thinking it was wrong in that
she was in public with a great guy who happened to be white on her shoulder.
Just the simple thought of what people were going to or might say freaked her
out. She stood in place and stared at Brett for a moment, just thinking and
wondering if she was doing the right thing by getting involved with someone who
happened to be outside her race.