Cowboy in Charge (15 page)

She was as determined as ever to protect her kids. Yet she seemed to have lost her ability to protect herself. Despite everything, she wanted this night with Jason. She wanted playfulness and understanding and kisses and more.

He braked to a stop at the next intersection and turned to smile at her. “It’s like I said yesterday, sweetheart. You’re too tough on yourself. About everything. You need a break, and since I know you won’t take one on your own, I’m stepping in to take charge.”

Chapter Fifteen

“Who knew all you’d need to seduce a woman was a pint of chocolate-marshmallow swirl.”

“Ha.”
With the ice-cream spoon halfway to her mouth, Layne paused to roll her eyes at Jason, who sat at the opposite end of the couch. “You’re not seducing me, you’re helping me satisfy a craving.”

“Great. Then maybe when you’re done eating, you can help satisfy one of mine.”

Again, she froze with the spoon halfway to her mouth. He had turned her innocent comment into a trigger for memories that left her breathless. She struggled for something to say, something to keep the moment light. “You’re
pregnant
?” she managed finally. At the look of confusion on his face, she laughed. “Just kidding. I only meant, this is what I craved when I was carrying Jill.”

“With dill pickles? Isn’t that what all pregnant women are supposed to want? Pickles and ice cream?”

She shook her head. “Not me. The ice cream was good enough. Well...good anyway. But I just couldn’t get enough of it.” She tugged on the belt of her freshly washed robe, a silent reminder not to overdo it tonight.

He watched her movement but didn’t comment on it. She felt too warm in the robe, but the last thing she could do was take it off in front of him. She was overly warm from her bath...or maybe from the way he sat looking at her, as if
he
couldn’t get enough.

All during her bath, she had considered everything that had happened this week. She had tried to make herself believe she and Jason could work things out. She told herself he had arranged this Mama’s Night Off—this
Date Night
?—especially for her. She kept reminding herself he was still here.

“What did you want when you were pregnant with Scott?” he asked.

“Potato chips and grape jelly.” His eyes widened in horror. She laughed again—and then realized she couldn’t remember the last time she had laughed this much in one night. “Don’t knock the combination till you’ve tried it.”

“No, thanks. But I wouldn’t say no to a taste of that ice cream.”

“I
knew
you wouldn’t be satisfied with plain old vanilla.” She waggled the carton, giving him permission to take a spoonful.

He moved closer. “I wasn’t thinking of taking it from the container.” His gaze drifted to her mouth.

Again, she froze. Not with a spoon in her hand this time, but from the thought running through her head. The thought of the kiss he so obviously wanted. The one she couldn’t help wanting, too. It would be crazy to give in, and still... Nervously, she licked her lip. He seemed to take that as another sign of permission.

He leaned down, barely brushing her mouth with his, then paused, teasing her into a moan of pure frustration.

“Jason.”

“Hmm?”

“I thought you wanted a taste.”

“I did.”

“Did?”
She stared up at him.

He laughed. “Just wasn’t sure how much
you
wanted a taste of plain old vanilla.”

“Try me.”

“That’s the sweetest offer I’ve had all night.”

He touched her mouth with his again. This time he lingered, and all her frustration went away. Yet his teasing never stopped. He kissed her once, a kiss sweeter than her offer, sweeter even than their ice cream. He kissed a trail from her mouth to her chin to her jawline. Then he brushed aside her robe to expose that one special spot he knew at the base of her throat.

Yes, he knew that spot. And so much more about her.

They had shared so much—a marriage, a bed, a child.

She shivered, a small tremble sparked by a longing for what they had once had together and had let slip away.

He ran one hand down the lapel of her robe, slid the other along her bare thigh. This time, she shivered in anticipation. The glow of the lamp turned his light brown eyes into the soft, dark gold of melting caramel. It highlighted his face, showing her the grown-up version of the boy she had always loved.

“I’ve wanted to see you out of this thing from the minute I saw you
in
it.” He tugged on the belt of her robe.

She stiffened. His hand stilled. With a little laugh, she shook her head. “Don’t mind me.” Blushing, she admitted, “That tug brought back memories. When I carried Jill, I craved ice cream constantly. Pulling my belt was my reminder not to go too crazy. A warning to stop.”

He stared down at the belt. After a long moment, he tucked the front of her robe into place and smoothed the lapels again. Then he retreated to the opposite end of the couch.

She frowned. “Jason...? What...
exactly
...just happened here?”

“I got the memo.”

She had lost all desire to laugh. Lost all desire for anything. Now she was the one confused. “
What
memo?”

“A warning to stop.”

She flushed, too hot in her robe again. Too embarrassed by what she had anticipated, what she had waited for and wanted. Too hurt by his rejection. But she had to let him know he hadn’t done anything wrong. “I didn’t mean it as a warning for
you
.”

“Didn’t say you had. I sent the memo to myself. Look, Layne, I think—” He took a deep breath. “Maybe we need a break. It would be good for...for us both. There’s a rodeo in Fort Worth this weekend. Not more than seven or eight hours from here. I can be there and home in a day.”

He was running away. She could see it clearly in his face, could feel the distance widen between them although neither of them had moved. “You’re backing off,” she said flatly.

“Like I said, I’m just thinking about giving us a break. Until we sort things out. I’m paying attention to what you told me, that we’re always good at getting wild and crazy but for nothing other than that.”

“And now you finally decide to remember what I said? Right now, you conveniently decide to take it seriously?” She could hear her voice rising as if it were someone else’s, something out of her control. She
felt
out of control, crushed by what he had done and stunned by memories flashing like fireworks in her mind. Worse, she felt betrayed by her own failure to remember this was Jason, who had walked out on her once before.

Why was she so upset? He had always run. To the rodeo. To the Cantina. To his friends.

Taking a deep breath, she tugged her robe more firmly closed around her. “On second thought, your timing’s lousy but I think you’ve got the right idea. And when you get back—”
if
you get back...
“—I also think it’s time you found your room at the Hitching Post.”

“You want me to leave?”

“Yes. This...whatever it was, was a big mistake. I’ve already told you I can’t go back to what we had before. I’m not
who
I was before.”

“So I suggest a break and you decide to kick me out.
Again
.” He laughed bitterly. “I should have expected it. It sums up our entire relationship, doesn’t it? Wild and crazy—or nothing. Your way or the highway.”

She gasped. “
My
way?” She struggled to keep her voice low. To stay in control. “You’re the one who left.”

“Yeah, because you kicked me out then, too.” He stood. “I’ll go. But I want the right to see Scott. Not just for a week in the summer or a few days at Christmas. I want to set up regular visitations.”

“Why? You won’t be here. You’ll leave Cowboy Creek and disappear again. You’ll make promises you won’t keep. Terry did that, too. And I won’t let that happen to Scott again.”

“I never broke any promises to him.”

Now it was her turn to laugh bitterly. “Of course not. How could you? You’d never even met him.”

* * *

H
E
DROVE
THROUGH
the night, making it halfway to Fort Worth before giving up. He turned back toward Cowboy Creek again, knowing the rodeo wasn’t going to give him what he wanted. Not knowing where else to go.

The day started off on a dark note with the sun struggling to escape a bank of black clouds. A perfect match to his mood. By the time he pulled into the parking area behind the Hitching Post, the clouds had lifted but his mood stayed the same.

He found Jed sitting in a rocker on the back porch, watching the few horses standing in the corral, their manes ruffling in the breeze.

“Have a seat.” Jed nodded toward the rocking chair beside his. “You look a mite out of sorts.”

“Yeah. I’ve left Layne’s,” he admitted. His first inclination when he’d driven away from her apartment had been to head back to Dallas to stay. But what would that accomplish except to rob him of the chance to say goodbye to Scott?

He should have swung by Shay’s farm to see the kids, but in the heat of the moment, the thought hadn’t occurred to him.

In the middle of the night, he’d known he had to return to Cowboy Creek. Hours later, he had found himself turning the truck onto the long road to Garland Ranch, a place where he had always felt comfortable. And yet he perched on the seat of his rocker, feeling too edgy to sit back and relax.

“Leaving a place shouldn’t make a man look this upset,” Jed said. “Unless, of course, he didn’t go on his own terms.”

“We had a fight,” he confessed. “A bad one.”

Jed nodded and set his rocker into motion. “Well, it’s not uncommon for people to scrap when they’re trying to get used to living together—which is essentially what you two were doing this week.”

“We’d already lived together.” That hadn’t worked out, either.

“Yeah, but you were still in the newlywed stage back then. You’re different people now.”

Just what Layne had said.
I’m not
who
I was before
.

And he’d walked out on her. Again.

What had happened to the better man he’d become?

To his surprise, Jed chuckled. “When it came to arguments, my Mary and I had a few doozies after we were first hitched. To tell you the truth, much later on, we both admitted we had our doubts the marriage would last.”

“I’m glad yours did. Mine didn’t.”

“You weren’t alone, son. You and Layne each had a hand in whatever went wrong. The going was tough, I’ll grant you that. You were both youngsters, both immature. But I can see you’re a changed man, even if you can’t tell the difference. You’ve got to put the past behind you and think about today.”

The wooden rockers of Jed’s chair against the porch let out a squeak. The sound made him think of the noise the weather vane on the barn back in Dallas made in a high wind. On long nights when he couldn’t sleep, that weather vane kept him company. It soothed him, the way Jed obviously was attempting to do now.

Still, he had to confess. “Yeah, I’ve changed. But our conversation last night wasn’t the best example of showing that.”

“Then think about this week. Look how much you’ve done for Layne since you’ve been back.”

She sure didn’t see it that way. She had done nothing but put up her guard. Resist. Fight back at almost every turn. And then kick him out.

“Speaking of doing things...” Jed began.

He stiffened on the edge of his seat. The older man stared out toward the corral as if he’d seen one of the mares take flight in the wind. Or as if he suddenly didn’t want to make eye contact. Jason tightened his grip on his Stetson.

“That brings me to another point. We’ve got a room available now. And as you’re not going to be doing much at Layne’s, I’ve got a proposition for you.” Jed looked over at him again. “One of the boys has asked for some time off. With Pete still on his honeymoon, that leaves us short on men around here. If you’re willing to help out, we could use an extra hand.”

Again, his first inclination was to rely on Dallas, to use that as his excuse to get away from Cowboy Creek—and away from the memory of his argument with Layne.

And again, he knew he couldn’t just walk away. Not when he hadn’t said goodbye to Scott or Jill or made arrangements with Layne to see his son. “I can stay on for a few days,” he agreed, settling back into the rocker. Working here would give him a reason to hang around. It could give Layne some time to calm down.

And with luck, it would let him get past the fact he’d done all he could and she still didn’t trust him.

* * *

J
ASON
WOULD
HAVE
chosen the bunkhouse over staying at the hotel, but Jed had insisted he take the room promised to him. He had also invited him to eat supper with the Garlands.

“We’re short two at the family table with Pete and Jane away,” he had said. “We’d be happy for the extra company.”

To tell the truth, he had enjoyed the meal as well as the time with Jed’s family. They had kept him from dwelling on thoughts of Layne and the kids. That could explain why, after supper, he got up from the table and made his way with everyone else to the Hitching Post’s sitting room.

He took a seat in a leather high-backed chair that was comfortable but didn’t seem made for him, the way Layne’s stuffed armchair did. Maybe familiarity had made it feel that way. In just a few short days, he’d gotten used to staying in the apartment, taking walks with Layne and the kids, and even sleeping in that armchair.

“Jason?” Jed said in a loud voice. “You with us?”

So much for keeping his thoughts in check. “I’m here.” He patted his stomach. “I’m about ready to nod off after all that good food, though. Paz, you’re one heck of a cook.”

She waved a hand. “It’s nothing. But I thank you. And now I’ll go back to the kitchen. You know where that is, Jason, if you need a snack later.”

Paz had always wanted to feed him as if, like Mrs. B, she had somehow known he didn’t get many home-cooked meals. “I doubt I’ll get hungry again anytime soon after that meal, Paz. But I’ll keep it in mind, especially if you’re talking leftovers.”

“That will be an option,” Jed said. “She cooks enough for an army.”

“You have a small platoon here, even without any hotel guests.” Almost a dozen people were scattered around the room, more than half of them Jed’s granddaughters and their kids, with a husband and a fiancé thrown in. “And that’s not counting the newlyweds.”