“
Yes, that
’
s what I heard. This is just getting to be a regular old party, huh?
”
she asks.
“
Mom, I can ask them all not to come,
”
I suggest.
“
That
’
s silly, Livvy. It
’
s better, with more people. Keeps us a little distracted.
”
“
But I know you like to honor him today.
”
“
I have,
”
she says.
I nod to her.
“
I
’
m not quite finished,
”
I tell her, gesturing toward the book.
“
I want to read a few more things before Jon gets here.
”
She smiles and stands up, kissing me on the forehead.
“
What are you wearing tonight?
”
“
Probably this.
”
I glance down at my distressed jeans and t-shirt.
“
You should dress up,
”
she suggests.
“
To celebrate.
”
“
We mourn today,
”
I tell her.
“
You don
’
t have to, sweetie. Nate wouldn
’
t want that.
”
“
We do it every year.
”
“
I know. I
’
m going to dress up tonight,
”
she says, shrugging her shoulders.
“
Surprise your dad.
”
“
Wow, Mom, next thing you
’
ll tell me is that you
’
re going out on the town to celebrate.
”
“
I don
’
t think that
’
s completely out of the question. I
’
m ready.
”
Since the accident, there was only one New Year
’
s Eve that my parents didn
’
t spend together at home; it was the night before their wedding. Every year since then, I
’
ve been a part of their quiet evening of remembrance.
“
Wow. That
’
s a big step.
”
“
He
’
s been gone longer than I knew him,
”
she says.
“
I realized that this morning. That seems strange to me.
”
“
Gone, but not forgotten.
”
“
Never forgotten,
”
she confirms.
“
Don
’
t spend all afternoon down here, okay?
”
She walks over to my closet and flips through some of the newer garments.
“
I haven
’
t seen you in this,
”
she says, holding up an off-the-shoulder white peasant blouse paired with a red skirt.
“
Well, that seems a little showy for a night at home,
”
I tell her.
“
It
’
s so pretty, though. Did Anna help you pick that out?
”
“
No, I used my birthday money,
”
I tell her.
“
Wow, you picked this out?
”
“
Yeah.
”
I shrug my shoulders as she looks at the tags.
“
I
’
m impressed. I guess Anna
’
s rubbed off on you. You should wear this tonight, just for fun.
”
“
I don
’
t know.
”
“
Yeah, you
’
re right. Dad would probably flip.
”
Her smile is mischievous.
“
Fine,
”
I tell her.
“
I
’
ll wear it. I could break in my new shoes, too.
”
“
I like the way you think, Livvy,
”
she says as she begins to leave my room. Suddenly excited and anxious to see Jon, I put Nate
’
s book aside and decide to start getting ready, giving myself plenty of time to straighten my hair and paint my nails.
“
Now I won
’
t feel so silly getting a little glam tonight.
”
“
Dad
’
s not going to be mad, right?
”
I ask as I pull some accessories out of a drawer in my closet.
“
Dad
’
s not going to be able to keep his eyes off me,
”
she says.
“
Gross, Mom,
”
I mutter. Actually, though, I
’
m happy she
’
s in such good spirits. And I know it will make my dad really happy. He
does
hate it when she
’
s sad.
I take my time getting dressed, but when my aunt comes down two hours later, I can
’
t believe exactly how much time I
’
ve spent doing it.
“
That
’
s all wrong,
”
Anna says as she enters my room. I
’
m pacing, trying to break in the heels that I think might be too high.
I stop to stare, looking into my full-length mirror. I thought I looked pretty.
“
What?
”
“
Your blouse isn
’
t supposed to cover your shoulders,
”
she says as she pulls them down.
“
No, I know, Anna,
”
I laugh as I push them back up.
“
I
’
m doing that for Dad.
”
“
We don
’
t dress for Dad, Livvy,
”
she says as she repositions the sleeves once more.
“
We dress for that handsome boy that
’
s waiting upstairs ri–
”
“
He
’
s here already?
”
“
Yes, he is.
”
“
Is he just up there with Dad and Chris?
”
I panic.
“
No, Finn and Camille are up there, keeping him company. He
’
s fine. He looks good, Liv,
”
Anna says, lifting her eyebrows.
“
What
’
s he wearing?
”
“
Nice jeans. Shiny black shoes. A very proper, crisp white dress shirt and a deep red tie that matches that little rose blossom right there,
”
she says as she points to one of the decorative elements of my shirt.
“
And he
’
s got a nice five o
’
clock shadow for a teenager,
”
my aunt adds, impressed.
“
And messy hair.
”
“
I love it when his hair
’
s messy,
”
I tell her with a blush.
“
Where did you get that handbag?
”
she asks.
“
That boutique you took me to,
”
I answer.
“
Does it look okay with the shoes?
”
“
Stunning. It all looks stunning. Although, why the handbag when you
’
re staying in?
”
“
Why
any of this
if I
’
m staying in?
”
I ask her back.
“
Just because, I guess.
”
“
You look beautiful.
”
“
Thank you. Now go distract my dad or something so I can come upstairs and see Jon.
”
“
You got it,
”
she says with a smile. We pass my uncle on the stairs, who whistles as I walk by.
“
That
’
s
not weird or anything, Chris,
”
I say sarcastically. He laughs from behind us.
Camille engulfs me with a hug when she sees me.
“
I
’
ve missed you. I realize I can go without school altogether, but I miss seeing you over the holidays.
”
“
I know,
”
I agree.
“
But I
’
m still not excited to go back on Wednesday.
”
“
Me, neither.
”
“
Hey, Finn.
”
We hug each other quickly as I continue to scan the room for Jon. Finally, he stands up off the couch, straightening his tie. Anna wasn
’
t kidding. He
does
look handsome.
“
Olivia,
”
he says softly. Fortunately, my dad is in the kitchen, getting together last-minute preparations for the guests that will be coming tonight. He touches his bristly chin as a smile grows slowly across his face, his feet planted firmly as if he can
’
t move. I wave from the foyer. His eyes travel down the length of my body and stay focused on the shoes I got for Christmas when he finally decides to make a move in my direction.
He takes my hands in his and taps his shoe to one of mine, leaning in to whisper in my ear.
“
Those are even sexier on you than I imagined they would be.
”
He kisses the skin by my ear slowly, just once, before backing away. He drops one of my hands, but holds out the other.
“
But the shirt? The skirt? Nothing?
”
I ask him softly, teasing. Chris and Anna move past us into the living room, but Anna watches us slowly on her way. I hear Finn and Camille go down the stairs to the basement.
“
Turn around,
”
he says as he lifts my hand, helping me twirl once in front of him. I catch Anna
’
s gaze when he stops me. She smiles and nods before following her husband into the kitchen.
“
Hmmm,
”
he ponders his response and clears his throat.
“
I
’
m trying to think of the right word, but I honestly can
’
t think of
any
words right now.
”
“
Nothing?
”
I urge him to continue.
“
It
’
s not appropriate.
”
He bites his bottom lip.
“
My outfit?
”
I ask coquettishly, running my hands down my skirt.
“
No, not your outfit. The
word
. The outfit makes me libidinous.
”
“
What?
”
I ask him.
“
Yeah. Who knew I
’
d use SAT words in real life?
”
I look at him curiously, waiting for an explanation.
“
Just look it up later.
”
He laughs, silencing me with a kiss.
“
Libidinous.
”
“
Why do you have to be so smart?
”
I whisper.
“
It
’
s sexy, you know?
”