Contessa (33 page)

“
Not smart enough, apparently.
”

“
Jon, you are. I
’
m sure you
’
ll get in.
”

He puts his head in his hands and takes a few deep breaths.
“
I
’
ve been working toward this one goal, all my life. Livvy, if I don
’
t get in, like... I don
’
t know what all this hard work has been for, you know? I don
’
t want to go to NYU. It
’
s a fine school, whatever, but I want Columbia. I want that worse than anything.
”

I put my arm around his shoulder and try to console him.

“
I want to prove to my mother, my brothers, my classmates... I want to prove to them all that I can do anything I set my mind to.
”

“
You can!
”
I encourage him.
“
You
’
ve already proven that, though.
”

“
No. It
’
s just not good enough.
”

“
Well,
”
I tell him.
“
I think it is. I
’
m not really into dating failures, you know.
”

“
Then maybe you should find someone else.
”

“
Jon!
”

“
Maybe I
’
m not good enough for you, either.
”

“
Shut up,
”
I tell him plainly.
“
You are
not
a failure. And you
’
re
far better
than good enough for me. I think you
’
re amazing. I always have.
”

“
Thanks,
”
he tells me, trying to smile. I lean in and close my eyes, pressing my lips against his softly. He returns the kiss, but is obviously holding back.
“
You need more than some poor NYU kid, Livvy. I want to be able to provide a good life for you. The only reason I pursued you is because I felt like I could give that to you. I don
’
t want to waste your time, or your affections, you know?
”

“
You
’
re not, Jon!
”
My heart is pounding as I listen to him talk about a future with me. He really is serious. I mean, I want him to be. And it
’
s seemed like he is, but he seems to be actively making plans, which is far beyond what I would expect from my high school boyfriend.
“
Want to know something? My
dad
was a poor NYU kid. There
’
s no shame in that at all. The things that happen
to
you don
’
t define you, Jon. It
’
s the things that you
make
happen
. That
’
s what my dad
’
s always told me. You can do anything. Anything at all.
”

“
I can
’
t buy my way into Columbia,
”
he says.

“
Okay, maybe not that. But at this point, Jon, you haven
’
t even been rejected. You
’
re worrying about all of this right now, and there
’
s really no reason to. You can retake the tests if you want. That
’
s an option. That
’
s something you can do, if you think you need to.
”

“
They
’
re accepting people now. I don
’
t think there
’
s time.
”

“
Don
’
t give up,
”
I tell him, angling his face toward me.
“
I
’
m not into dating quitters, either.
”

“
Again, maybe I
’
m not–
”
I stop him with another kiss.

“
You
’
re
the one I
’
m into. Okay? So that means you
can
’
t
quit and you
won
’
t
fail.
”

“
Yes, ma
’
am.
”
He smiles genuinely and pulls me into his arms. I feel his lips on my temple, and then he lifts my chin so we can kiss once more, only this one kiss turns into many more. I melt as he looks into my eyes and feel the palm of his hand on my bare knee. His touch is tentative but still has me completely alert. I press my hand against his to let him know it
’
s okay.
“
I need a few minutes to catch my breath.
”
His cheeks become red and splotchy.

“
I want you to do it again,
”
I encourage him.

“
Uhhh.
”
He chuckles under his breath.
“
Later. I
’
m getting a little carried away.
”

“
It
’
s okay.
”

“
No, Liv,
”
he says with certainty.
“
Just trust me on this one.
”

I smile proudly, happy to make him feel this way.

“
How did
your
test go?
”
he asks, changing the subject.

“
Well, Henry helped, but apparently all the other elements went out to obtain that food, because they were nowhere to be found in my brain. I failed it.
”

“
Failed?
”

“
Yeah. Only two people passed, so he
’
s letting us retake it after school next Friday. I mean, he said we needed to memorize the table, but I really didn
’
t take him literally. I thought we might have to fill in some blanks here and there, but he expected us to fill in
all
the blanks.
”

“
I
’
ve got mnemonic devices for all the elements, Livvy.
”

“
Well, write them down for me or something. I don
’
t want a permanent F on my record. I
’
ve never gotten an F before.
”

“
I wouldn
’
t let that happen. I don
’
t date failures, either.
”

“
Thanks.
”

“
We should probably head inside. If your parents showed up, I
’
m sure they
’
re wondering where you are.
”

“
Good point,
”
I say with a frown.

Sure enough, the second we walk through the back door, hand-in-hand, my parents are looking directly at us. Although I try to stop walking, afraid of a possible confrontation, Jon pulls me along after him. He walks right up to them, unfazed. Then again, he has no idea what my parents know about him. I hold my breath, bracing myself for the worst.

“
Jack, Emi, it
’
s nice to see you again,
”
he says as he shifts to the other side of me to take my right hand in his left, freeing up his hand to shake my dad
’
s.

“
Hello, Jon. Were you two enjoying the weather?
”
he asks, letting us know that he saw us come in from the courtyard.

“
Definitely. I love this time of year.
”
Jon
’
s eyes never leave my father
’
s.
“
Listen, I have a question for you. Both of you actually.
”

“
Go ahead,
”
my dad says as he exchanges a glance with Mom.

“
Livvy mentioned she
’
s struggling with chemistry–
”

“
Jon,
”
I whisper to him. I hadn
’
t told my parents about the test.

“
Are you, Tessa?
”
I shoot my dad a glare at his use of my nickname.
“
Are you?
”
he repeats.

“
Yeah. I failed a test yesterday.
”

“
So you
’
re thinking of maybe taking some time away from Livvy, here, so she can concentrate on her schoolwork?
”
my dad asks Jon smugly.

“
No, sir,
”
Jon says.
“
She explained that only two people passed, so it sounds like her teacher may not have done a good job preparing the class for the test. That
’
s just my opinion.
”

“
And what do you suggest?
”
Dad questions tersely. I look over at my mom, who
’
s standing behind Dad with a smile across her lips. I have to bite my lips to maintain a neutral expression.

“
I
’
m actually very good at chemistry.
”

“
As am I,
”
my dad counters.

“
I can appreciate that, Jack, but I
’
ve tutored quite a few kids at my school, and I
’
d like to offer my services to help Livvy with her course.
”

“
Would you?
”
The question comes out as a defeated sigh.

“
I would. I could come over after school a few days this week to make sure she knows the periodic table like the back of her hand.
”

My dad considers the offer.
“
I
’
ll tell you what. Sure, we
’
ll try it out this week. You can come over on Monday and Wednesday for two hours, tops. If she gets a perfect score on the test, we can talk about making it a more regular thing. And if she doesn
’
t, we
’
ll pass on your tutoring services.
”

“
Understood,
”
Jon says as he holds his hand back out for my dad to commit to the arrangement. My dad stares at his hand, but eventually shakes it.
“
We won
’
t let you down, right, Liv?
”

“
Right. Chemistry with you? I
’
m in.
”

It
’
s too late to take back what I said, and I realize it probably wasn
’
t appropriate. This is confirmed when my dad puts his arm around Jon
’
s shoulder and asks if he can have a few minutes of his time.

“
Of course.
”
As soon as they walk out into the courtyard, I cover my face, embarrassed and afraid of what my dad might be saying to him.

“
That was smooth, Little Liv.
”
Matty laughs at me.
“
Hope you weren
’
t looking to have a future with that one.
”
I backhand him in the chest and glare at him.

“
Mom, what is he doing?
”

“
I
’
m not sure, Livvy. Maybe just setting some ground rules.
”

“
Oh god, oh god, oh god. What if he changes his mind?
”