Coming Home (21 page)

Reid shook his head.
 

Fueled by excitement, Kate paced the deck. “My mother and her husband have two young sons, too, Max and Nick. They’re thirteen and ten, and they barely know me. I give more to my fans than I do to my own family. That’s not right.”

“Don’t you have contracts?”

“I’ll get out of them.” Throwing her hands into the air, she spun around. “I feel
free
for the first time in longer than I can remember. I’m
free
. I can do whatever I want, and what I want has nothing to do with singing or performing. It has everything to do with the people I love.”

He folded his arms and leaned back against the rail that surrounded the deck.

Kate stopped moving and zeroed in on him. “What?”

“Nothing. I’m listening to you.”

“But what is it you’re dying to say?”

He hesitated, seeming to choose his words carefully. “I’m thrilled to see you so happy. Really, I am. It’s just that I worry this incident with the video has upset you more than you’re willing to let on, and you’re making a big decision while in the midst of a crisis.”

“I know you’ll find this hard to believe, but the video didn’t cause me to make this decision.”

“You weren’t talking about quitting the business before this happened.”

“No, but I was thinking about it. I’ve been thinking about it for quite some time, if I’m being honest. The one thing that’s kept me going is my sister.”

“How do you mean?”

“She works for me. If I quit, what happens to her?”

“It’s not like you’d walk away and have nothing to do with the business ever again.”

“I might not…have anything to do with it…”

“Kate, really, I fear you’re being hasty. You’re upset over what happened, and rightfully so, but to make a decision like this now—”

“I didn’t make it today. That’s what you’re not hearing. I made it in a hospital room in Oklahoma City when I said I wanted to go home. I knew then that I didn’t want to come back. I was done then. I didn’t realize that entirely until I came here, but I get it now. I’m done. I’ve had enough of being accused of doing drugs when I’ve never touched a drug in my life. I’m sick of a different city every day but still feeling like I’ve never actually
been
anywhere. There’s never time to
see
anything. Do you know I’ve been to London six or eight times, but I’ve never seen Buckingham Palace? What kind of
life
is that?”

The words, once she started, poured forth in a stream of thoughts she’d had over the last few months. Saying them out loud for the first time was liberating. “I haven’t told anyone this,” she said with a nervous laugh. “You’re the first to know.”

“Come here, darlin’.” He held out his hands to her.

Kate crossed the deck to take what he offered. With her hands in his, she looked up to find him watching her guardedly. “I’m here.”

“I’m honored to be the first to know how you’ve been feeling. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t urge you to sleep on it before you tell anyone else. I don’t want you to make a hasty decision that you’ll regret in a month or two.”

“I won’t regret it. I’d regret
not
doing it. That much I know for sure.” She tried to calm her racing heart. “I get that you think I’m being hasty, and I get why, but you don’t know how it’s been.”

“Then tell me. Tell me how it’s been.”

As she searched for the words she needed, she stared out at the darkness. “When things between us fell apart, something in me shut down. I think it was the part of me that took chances, the part that risked the odds and didn’t care what anyone thought of me.” She smiled. “How else would you explain why I was willing to risk everything on an affair with a man twenty-eight years older than me?”

“And here I thought all this time I was irresistible.”

Kate laughed, delighted by him. “Of course you were. But after this, after us, I wasn’t like that anymore. I cared too much about what other people thought. It hurt me when they accused me of doing drugs and sleeping around. I played it safe with other guys. I picked people who I knew would never break through the huge wall I’d put up around me. They couldn’t break my heart because they couldn’t
get
to it.” She shook her head. “I’m not making any sense.”

“No, you are. I get what you’re saying.”

“I want a
real
life, Reid. I want an authentic life. Not some glitzed-up celebrity existence where my every word and action is scrutinized by people who don’t even know me. I’m tired of my whole world revolving around the next show, the next city, the next arena full of nameless, faceless people.”

“You should have what you want. You went right from your daddy’s house to superstardom with almost nothing in between.”

“This,” she said, sliding her hands to his shoulders, “was
not
nothing.” She pressed her lips to his and was comforted by the familiar taste and scent of him. “
This
was everything.”

“Kate, God, you have no idea what you do to me when you say those things.”

“I have some idea,” she said, laughing as she rubbed against his arousal.

“Not just there, but in here, too.” He took her hand and placed it on top of his fast-beating heart. “You touch me everywhere.”

“Will you come back to Nashville with me and help me find that real life? A real life that absolutely must include you if it’s to be truly authentic.”

“You want me to come with you?”

She stared at him, incredulous. “What did you think I’ve been saying?”

“That you were quitting the business and setting out to find your life.”

Kate threw her head back and laughed—hard—which seemed to annoy him. “You silly, silly man. You
are
my life. How did you miss that part?”

“Um, ah, I don’t know, but it sure is good to hear. I thought…” He shook his head. “Never mind what I thought.”

“Tell me. What were you going to say?”

“I thought you were telling me you were leaving. Without me.”

“God, I’m such an ass. I’m sorry. That wasn’t at all what I was saying. The exact opposite.”

He gathered her into his arms, holding her tight against him.
 

“So will you come home with me?”

“On one condition.”

Kate drew back slightly so she could look up at him. “What’s that?”

“If you want a real, authentic life, you’re going to have to marry me. I can’t see any other way—”

A squeak of surprise escaped from her lips the second before she kissed him.

He tipped his head and buried his hand in her hair, kissing her with an urgency he hadn’t often shown her.
 

Kate clung to him, kissing him back with everything she had, everything she’d ever be. It was all his. It always had been, and now that she knew for sure where she belonged, she’d never let go again.

“Is that a yes?” he whispered, his voice husky with emotion.

“Yes. That’s absolutely a yes.”

“I don’t have a ring, but I’ll get you one. As soon as I can. I’ll get you the best ring you’ve ever seen.”

“I don’t need that. I’ve had glitter and glam. All I want now is simple and real.”

“I can do that.”

She smiled, happier than she’d been since it all went wrong between them. “Does this mean we’re engaged?”

“It certainly does.”

“However shall we celebrate?” she asked with a flirtatious smile.

“Any way you want, my love.”

She ran her fingers through his hair and brought him down for another passionate kiss. “Since we’re keeping it simple and real…” She unbuttoned his shirt as she ran her hands over his chest. When she released the last button, she bent her head to press kisses to his throat and chest, loving the tremble that rippled through him, loving that she did that to him.
 

“Not here.” He grabbed her hand and tugged her behind him as he headed inside.
 

Kate reclined on the bed, amused by his thoroughness as he locked the door and closed the blinds before removing his clothes. “Afraid someone is watching?”

Nodding, he helped her out of her dress. “I hope you’re fond of beds, because we’re never,
ever
doing it outside again,” he said, leaning over her.

She looped her arms around his neck and drew him down on top of her. “Yes, we will. When people no longer give a fig about me, we won’t have to worry about being watched.”

“From now on, I’ll always worry about being watched. It makes me sick to think I put you in such a vulnerable situation.”

“You were carried away. We both were. I wish you wouldn’t blame yourself.”

“I can’t help it. I love you so much, and when I think about people watching us—”

“Don’t,” she said, tugging him toward her for a kiss. “Don’t think about it.”

“Right.” He barked out a laugh that made her laugh, too. “Don’t think about it. Who’s being silly now?”

“They can only hurt us if we let them. Let’s not let them. Let’s not let anyone else in so no one can hurt us ever again.”

He pulled back from the kisses he was placing in strategic areas of her neck to look her in the eye. “We can’t be real or authentic without the other people we love being part of us, honey. And for the record, your daddy may hate my guts, but I will ask for your hand in marriage.”

“He’ll never give it to you.”

“I’m still going to ask. I’m old-fashioned that way.”

She smiled up at him. “Don’t use the word ‘old’ around me. You’re timeless.”

“And you, my love, are deluded.”

Kate laughed, filled with love and joy and hope for the future. “I’m so excited. Are you excited, too?”

He pressed his erection into the V of her legs. “It’s not obvious?”

“Not about that, although that’s always exciting. So exciting you ruined me for all other men at the tender age of eighteen.”

“I wish I could say I was sorry about that, but hey, I’m not really.”

Smiling, she combed her fingers through his hair and over his cheek, where the first hint of whiskers had begun to appear. “I meant are you excited about all our other plans?”

“Of course I am. How could I not be?”

Kate thought about the one thing she hadn’t told him.

“What? And don’t say it’s nothing, because your smile faded right off your face, and I saw that.”

He was so tuned in to her that it was hard to hide anything from him. That was both a blessing and a curse.

“There’s something else I want, and I’m not sure you want it, too. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t—”

Reid kissed her thoroughly and then pulled back to meet her gaze. “Tell me.”

Kate swallowed the lump of fear and emotion that had settled in her throat as she looked up at the face that had haunted her dreams for so long. “I want a baby. Maybe more than one.”

“Oh, well… I’m kind of old for that, darlin’.”

“I knew you’d say that, and it’s okay if we don’t have kids—”

“No, it’s not okay.” He shifted off her and stretched out next to her, looking up at the ceiling fan that moved in a slow, lazy circle above them. “You should have everything you want.”

“If I had a choice of having six kids or having you with no kids, I’d choose you. I’ve seen what it’s like without you, and I’m not interested in that life.”

“It wouldn’t be fair to the kids to lose their father so early in their lives. I’d be lucky to get thirty years with them.”

“And how blessed would they be to have that time with you?”

“I also can’t help but wonder how Ashton would feel about it.”

“He’s going to hate the whole thing, so a baby couldn’t make it any worse.”

“I don’t know if that’s true. I talked to him earlier.”

“And?”

“He didn’t seem all that surprised or annoyed to hear we were back together. He wasn’t thrilled about the video, of course, but who is?”

“We’ve all grown up. Him, too, I suppose. And while I know it wouldn’t be the same, he’d certainly be there for his brother or sisters… After.” Kate shook her head. “Forget I said that. I refuse to think about a time when you’re not here with me anymore.”

He turned his head and reached for her hand. “You have to, Kate. You’ve agreed to marry a man almost thirty years your senior. Please don’t pretend that you won’t spend a large portion of your life without me.”

The thought was so far beyond depressing, she refused to allow it in when she was otherwise overjoyed. “I get it. I really do. But I don’t want to talk about it, especially not today.”

Smiling, he brought her hand to his lips for a tender kiss to her palm. “Fair enough.”

“Will you think about the remote possibility of having kids?”

“I’ll think about it, but no promises.”

She flashed him a saucy grin. “Might be too late for thinking anyway,” she reminded him.

“Might be.” He turned on his side and put his arm around her. “Come here. You’re too far away over there, and I thought we were going to celebrate.”