Clean Slate (New Mafia Trilogy #2) (2 page)

Exhaustion set in after
I revealed the truth to Chelsea. I picked at the pasta she had made for dinner,
but was too tired to eat. We went downstairs and retrieved my bags out of the
car. Minutes later I was curled up on my old familiar friend, the futon.
Everything had finally caught up to me and I fell into a coma-like sleep.

The front door clicked
shut and woke me up. I thought Chelsea had left for work and was surprised to
learn that she was just getting home.

           
“Did I sleep all day?” I asked.

She nodded. “You look
better though. Not so hollow.”

I felt almost normal; more
rested than I’d been in weeks and no nightmares had haunted my dreams. I yawned
and stretched. Chelsea grinned and threw something shiny at me. I flinched and
dodged to the side. The object landed next to me on the blanket with a jingle.
It was a set of keys.

           
“The big one is for the gym and the pool gate. The small
one is for the front door.”

           
“Thanks. Oh and Chels, I can help pay for things. I have
plenty of cash on me.”

           
“Cool. L.A. is not a cheap place to live.” She pulled a
bottle of white wine out of the refrigerator. “Do you want a drink?”

 
“No. I need to get my head together.” Chelsea
shrugged and went to put the bottle away. “You still can, I don’t mind. I just
can’t right now.”

She hesitated and then
brought the wine, a corkscrew and glass with her and plopped down on the futon.

           
“Are you sure?” One of her eyebrows was raised.

           
“Yes I’m sure,” I encouraged her. “I’ve been dumping a
lot of shit into my system, trying to cope with everything. This is my chance
to start over.”

           
“Nat, I am so sorry you had to deal with all of this
alone. Now I know why you became so evasive and distant.”

           
“I hated that night, when we had the big argument and I
moved out. I cried on Dominic’s shoulder for days afterwards.”

           
“This whole time I thought you dumped me for a guy.”

           
“I would never dump you for a guy.”

           
“Yeah, this whole mafia story is a pretty good reason. I
don’t feel so put out now!” Chelsea took a long sip. I watched her and licked
my lips. My body craved a drink, longed for the soothing blanket to envelope my
whole being. I didn’t give in. I had been hiding behind substances for too long
and needed to face my demons head on.
 

The next morning I made
sure I was awake before Chelsea left for work. She didn’t have to be in until
mid-morning and was nice to sit and have a cup of coffee with her.

           
“What are your plans for today?”Chelsea asked.

           
“I don’t know. I was thinking about going for a run. My
legs could use the stretch.”

           
“Good. I worry about you being holed up in this apartment
all day.”

           
“Yes, Mom,” I said and rolled my eyes. Chelsea was always
the worrier.

           
“I’m off tomorrow and we can go do something. Plus, I’m
meeting my boyfriend for dinner. Wanna come?”

           
“You have a boyfriend?”

           
“I do.” I sensed a tone of caution in her voice. “I’m
sorry, I thought I told you.”

           
“No, I didn’t know. That’s cool. I’d like to meet him,
but don’t want to impose on your date.”

           
“Nat, don’t be ridiculous! Derek would love to meet you.”

Derek, his name was
Derek. Derek made me think of Dominic. My heart rate accelerated and my palms
felt slick with sweat. The coffee churned in my empty stomach.

           
“Nat, are you okay? You don’t look so good.”

           
“I’m fine,” I lied. “I think I just need to eat
something.” I made a weak attempt at smiling.

           
“Mmmhmmm,” the corners of her mouth turned up to form a
knowing smile.

           
“What?”

           
“You miss him.” It was a statement, not a question. Leave
it to Chelsea to figure it out. I did miss Dominic. My heart ached whenever I
thought of him. Leaving him took all the strength I possessed, but it had to be
done.

           
“I still love him and think about him every day.”

           
“His family does take dysfunctional to a whole new level.
He wouldn’t leave to be with you?”

           
“No.” Tears welled up and spilled over my cheeks. “I
would have stayed, but the shooting, knowing that he could be killed at any
time; that on top of everything else. It was too much.”

           
“You said they could still come after you?”

           
“It’s a possibility. His Uncle Marco is nuts, but I don’t
know if he would look for me. I saved Dominic’s life, so I’m hoping he’ll
consider us even.”

           
“And if he doesn’t?”

Coffee splashed out of
my mug and on to the table. Not realizing I’d started shaking until the hot
liquid landed on my wrist, I quickly set the mug down to avoid making a bigger
mess, but the trembling continued. I struggled to get the words out, it seemed
as though my saliva glands had experienced a sudden drought. “He’ll probably
kill me,” I finally managed to choke out.

Chelsea reached across
the table and gripped my hand. Her rosy cheeks paled as the seriousness of the
situation sunk in. Any levity that our previous conversation held was now
stifled.

           
“Natalie, you need to find out! How can you sit there not
knowing that he may already have taken a hit out on you?”
 
Chelsea stood up and started pacing the small
dining area. “Can you call Grant, wouldn’t he know?”

           
“I haven’t established contact with anyone. Nobody knows
where I am and I don’t want them to know. Besides…” I dropped my head to the
table and wrapped my arms over top, the proverbial ostrich with its head in the
sand. “If Marco wants me dead, he’ll probably want Grant dead too.
 
I can’t even think about it.” Overwhelmed, my
body vacillated between throwing up and hyperventilating.

           
“Shhh,” Chelsea soothed, resting her hands on my
shoulders and lightly massaging them. “We’ll figure something out.” I could
feel the tension releasing its hold the more Chelsea rubbed. My breathing
slowed and this helped settle my stomach down. I took a few deep breaths and
slowly raised my head up off of the table.

           
“Thanks, Chels. Everything just hit me.”

           
“Hey, that’s what I’m here for. I’m your personal crisis
counselor! I’m going to make some calls to see if anyone has figured out you’re
here and we’ll go from there. Okay?”

           
“Okay.” That was a start and it helped relax me further.

After Chelsea left for
work, I decided to face my fears and check email. It felt like an eternity to
access the wireless internet connection. Finally, I was able to pull up my Gmail
inbox. I had over three hundred messages. Jesus! I thought to myself when I saw
that all but about forty were from Grant and Dominic. Most of the subject lines
read: Where are you, come home, call me, I miss you, I love you (the latter two
were from Dominic).
  

The most recent email,
sent three days earlier caused my blood to run cold. The subject line read:
need to talk - now. It was from Grant. I closed my eyes and clicked the email
open. With much trepidation I opened my eyes and started reading.

           
Nat,

           
I don’t know where you are, but you
need to call me!! Bottom line, watch your back. Come HOME so we can protect
you.

           
Grant

Shit, not good, not
good at all. If he wanted me to come home, then it had to be the NYC families and
not Philly I had to look out for. I snapped the laptop shut. That was enough
email for the day. My plans for going out for a run were put on hold. Until I
received confirmation from Chelsea that my whereabouts were still unknown, I
wasn’t leaving the apartment. Every time I heard a noise outside, whether it
was a car door shutting or someone sneezing in the courtyard, I jumped.
Needless to say, it was a very long day.

Chelsea didn’t make it
home until after midnight and in a total role reversal, I was the one waiting
up to interrogate her.

           
“Did you talk to anyone?” I asked.

           
“I did and boy did my mom fill me in! She ran into your
mom at the grocery store over the weekend. Your mom told her how you had taken
off without a word as to where you were going and that she hadn’t heard from
you in over two weeks. She says she’s not surprised, that you’re just like your
father by running off as soon as things get tough.” Chelsea’s cheeks flushed
with anger. “Can you believe that shit?”

           
“But, I wrote her a letter and mailed it the day I left
Philly. That was less than two weeks ago.”

           
“My mom didn’t say anything about a letter, but apparently
Grant has been trying to track you down and your mom told him not to bother. I
knew you and your mom didn’t get along, but that is just wrong!”

           
“But Grant doesn’t know where I am?”

           
“Not according to my mom.”

           
“And you didn’t let anything slip that you might know
where I am?”

           
“No.”

           
“Good.” I breathed a sigh of relief. Chances are that if
Grant didn’t know my whereabouts, then the NYC families didn’t know either. I
would still have to keep a low profile, but I didn’t need to become a complete
shut-in, or keep running. I decided that Chelsea didn’t need to know about
Grant’s email. She was taking enough of a risk having me under her roof. If
things did take a more serious turn, I would have to be prepared to leave on a
moment’s notice.

           
“Now that that’s out of the way, I told Derek you were
coming to dinner and he invited his roommate to come along.”

           
“Chelsea, not a blind date?”

           
“No, it’s nothing like that! It’s just so you would feel
more comfortable.”

           
“I don’t know.”

           
“Please? His name is Jason, he’s really nice and I
promise this isn’t a date. There are no strings attached.”

           
“Fine,” I groaned.

Chelsea went to her
bedroom to get ready for bed and I stared at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to
come. I thought about Grant’s email, then about meeting Chelsea’s boyfriend and
his roommate. At some point my mind shut down and I drifted off. The next thing
I knew, it was morning and Chelsea was in the kitchen making a racket.

           
“What are you doing?” I called out, covering my head with
a pillow to drown out the noise.

           
“I’m off today, remember? I’m making muffins.”

           
“Are you grounding the flour yourself?” I asked,
wandering into the kitchen, rubbing sleep from my eyes.

           
“No, smart ass, I was grinding coffee beans. Mom sent me
a grinder as a housewarming present and I haven’t used it yet.” Chelsea hopped
from the coffee maker to the oven, checking the progress of her muffins. Her
blond hair was tied back in a loose knot and tendrils framed her face. She even
had make-up on.

           
“How are you so awake right now?” I asked from my perch
on one of the bar stools at the breakfast bar. I leaned against the counter
holding my head up with a hand.

           
“It’s almost 10:00. I slept in. You’re the one used to
vampire hours.”
 
She pointed at me with
an oven mitt and then bent over to retrieve the muffin tray. She set it on a
hot pad and steam rose from the muffin tops, which were covered in cinnamon and
large crystals of sugar.

           
“Since when did you learn to bake?”

           
“No new skills here, Nat. These are from a mix.” She
flashed a cheesy grin and held up an empty box that had the Betty Crocker logo
on it, like she was a game show model. Shaking my head, I laughed and went to
get a cup of coffee. We ate breakfast together, making plans for the day leading
up to the dinner date for Chelsea and not-a-date-dinner for me. After breakfast
I took a quick shower and then we headed out in Chelsea’s Volvo, despite
Chelsea’s protests. She thought my convertible BMW was more suitable for a
girl’s day of shopping and mani/pedi’s than her beater. When I pointed out the
slim possibility that my car could be a target, she acquiesced.

Chelsea drove to the
Fashion District in downtown L.A. and parked in one of the parking garages. We
walked along crowded sidewalks, Chelsea pointing out random landmarks until we
reached her destination of choice, what she called her “shopping mecca”, Santee
Alley. Awnings over storefronts seemed to be conjoined with large canvas
umbrellas they were packed so close to each other. The umbrellas were brightly
colored, stripes of pink and green stretched the length of the alley. People
milled about and signs for name brands competed for attention. I felt anonymous
in the crowds and relaxed. Hanging out and shopping with Chelsea was like old times
and, for the first time in months, I felt almost normal and there were moments it
was easy to forget about my old life for a while, except when a face in the
crowd would look familiar and I’d begin to panic. Only after a second glance
confirmed the face did in fact belong to a stranger, was I able to calm down.

I found an amazing pair
of sunglasses for $1.00 and Chelsea got a steal on Jimmy Choo knock-offs that
she planned on wearing that night. After shopping, we started to head back to
the apartment, stopping along the way to get our nails done. The fresh air,
sunshine and freedom to walk around without glancing over my shoulder (for the
most part), actually had me looking forward to going out to dinner.

Derek and Jason arrived
to pick us up at 8:00. I hung out behind Chelsea as she opened the door. She
flew into Derek’s arms and kissed him. Jason and I looked away, finding the
ceiling suddenly fascinating. Chelsea and Derek’s embrace started to border on
embarrassing.

           
“Hi, I’m Jason Fletcher,” he said and held out his hand
to me.

           
“Natalie Ross.” We shook hands, very formal and business
like.

Upon hearing us
introduce ourselves, Chelsea pulled away from Derek. “Sorry about that! Derek,
this is Natalie.”

           
“Hi, I’ve heard a lot about you.
 
Chelsea is ecstatic that you’re here!” Any
similarities between Derek and Dominic stopped with their names. He as tall or
as muscular. He had an athletic build, like a soccer player, with brown eyes
and dirty blonde hair. Jason was about the same height as Derek, but with
broader shoulders. He had blonde hair that was bleached out from the sun and
striking turquoise eyes, which stood out against his tan skin - definitely not
my type - not that I was interested.

We all rode over to the
restaurant in Derek’s Jetta. I sat in the back with Jason and stuck as close to
the door without being obvious. My sundress was short and there wasn’t enough
material to pull down past my thighs. I caught Jason checking out my legs and I
tried tucking them out of sight. I certainly didn’t want to encourage any
attraction.

I stared out the window
and watched strip mall after strip mall pass by. Traffic was heavy and there
were points where the car just crawled along at a snail’s pace.

           
“Is the traffic like this all the time?” I asked.

           
“Yeah, this is actually pretty light.” Jason answered.
“During rush hour, it’s like a parking lot.”

           
“It’s not like this in Philly.”

           
“Welcome to urban sprawl. So what brings you to L.A.?”

           
“I graduated with Chelsea in May and was getting tired of
the scene in Philly, so here I am.” The answer seemed vague enough.

           
“Do you have a job yet?”

           
“No. I have some money saved up so I can coast for a
while. I don’t even know how long I’m going to stay here.”

           
“You need to stay with me forever!” Chelsea said with a laugh.

           
“I usually work nights, so I can show you around during
the day sometime if you like?” Jason asked.

           
“That’s nice; I’ll keep that in mind. What do you do?”

           
“I’m a bartender.”

My heartbeat
accelerated at that piece of information, but I tried to rationalize it.
Bartending is a popular profession. If the guy mentioned something else he had
in common with Dominic, it could warrant a freak-out. Just then a car swerved
in front of us, cutting the Jetta off and forcing Derek to slam on the brakes.

           
“Asshole!” he yelled and laid on the horn.

When I saw the
Pennsylvania plates illuminated by Derek’s headlights and then saw that the car
was a black Cadillac, the same model as Marco’s, it suddenly felt like the seat
had disappeared from underneath me and I was free falling to the street. My
throat closed up and I struggled to inhale.

           
“Nat, Nat, talk to me!” Chelsea’s voice sounded far away.
I could feel my lungs straining from the lack of oxygen and I was dizzy.
“Natalie, breathe!” A hand clamped down on my healing shoulder sending
shockwaves of pain rippling down my arm. This broke whatever episode I was
having and I heaved in a gulp of air, followed by several gasps in quick
succession.

A dull ache throbbed
above my temples and I leaned back against the seat. My face felt wet. Reaching
up, I was surprised to find tears had run down my cheeks. I pulled my hand away
and stared at my glistening fingertips. Then I looked up to three concerned
faces. Derek had pulled over to the side of the road. Chelsea’s arm was
stretched back from the front seat and her hand still rested on my shoulder.

           
“Jesus Nat, are you okay?”

I nodded my head and
she withdrew her arm. This was so embarrassing, but the Cadillac, which was
nowhere to be seen now, had quite literally almost scared the shit out of me.

           
“Derek, I think we should take Nat home.”

           
“No, I’m fine, really.” I lied. “I’m sorry I freaked out
back there. I don’t want to ruin your night.”

    
      
“It’s
no big deal Nat. We’ll pick up some pizzas and hang at the apartment. Maybe go
for a swim?” Chelsea suggested.

           
“Actually that sounds like a better plan than eating at a
stuffy restaurant,” Jason agreed.

           
“I third that. Majority rules.” Derek shifted the car
into drive and flipped a u-turn, earning several blaring horns and middle
fingers from other drivers.

We were all sitting on
the floor around the coffee table eating pizza. LA pizza didn’t have anything
on Philly, but I ate hoping to get rid of my headache. A couple slices and a
diet Coke later, I was feeling almost normal again.

The ride back to
Chelsea’s apartment was an awkward one. Jason sat next to me in silence. I
could feel his eyes on me and every once in a while it looked like he started
to say something, but stopped. Chelsea and Derek chattered on about God knows
what. I was busy keeping to myself. Now that we all had eaten and Jason, Derek
and Chelsea had had some beers, the tension lifted.

           
“So, what was that all about anyway?” Jason pried.

My eyes darted to
Chelsea. “Nat just broke up with her boyfriend. It was pretty rough,” she
explained for me. “He’s a bartender too.”

I let the explanation
go because Chelsea didn’t need to know that a Cadillac with Pennsylvania plates
was cause enough for a panic attack. “I’m sorry if I fucked the evening up.”

           
“You didn’t.” Jason’s eyes met mine and I quickly looked
away.

           
“Let’s go for a swim!” Chelsea hopped up off the floor
and pulled me up with her. “Derek, you have extra board shorts here that Jason
can borrow.” She disappeared into her bedroom and emerged with two pairs of
Hawaiian printed shorts, which she tossed across the room to Derek. He snatched
them out of the air.

           
“Oh, cat-like reflexes,” I joked and Derek laughed.

We left the guys in the
living room and I followed Chelsea into her bedroom to change. I pulled on a
one piece suit and groaned when I saw my scar glaring out from behind the
strap.

           
“This isn’t going to work. I don’t want to have to
explain this.” I pointed at my shoulder