Authors: T. E. Ridener
“Not
really,” Kasen responded with a shake of his head. “My dog’s missing. My
apartment is trashed. Someone wants to kill me and probably would’ve succeeded
tonight if you hadn’t been there. So no, Ro, I’m not doing okay. I’m so
fucking far from it.”
Kasen
wasn’t the type to use a lot of profanity, but Rowan was quickly learning the
colorful language would spew forth when the guy was stressed out or upset. He
could appreciate that.
They stood there for several long moments before Rowan decided to break the
silence, “I was trying to prevent this from happening,” He said softly.
“You can’t prevent stupidity,” Kasen replied as he eased down onto the corner
of the mattress and bowed his head. “I guess a part of me always knew
something like this would happen. It’s not your fault, ya know.”
“Isn’t it?” Rowan asked as he joined him on the bed, keeping his hands in the
pockets of his jeans as he turned his head to look at him. “I mean, this
wouldn’t be happening if I’d just ignored the attraction I felt for you.”
Kasen lifted his head to gaze at him, his expression softening considerably as
his bottom lip found its way between his teeth.
“I
just…really like you,” Rowan confessed as he licked his lips. “And I wanted to
spend time with you. For the first time in a long time, Kase, I was happy and
it’s all because of you. I’m sorry this happened.”
“Rowan….” Kasen’s voice drifted off as he shifted on the bed, stretching his
legs out as he seemingly tried to find the words he wanted to say. Rowan
would’ve given anything to be able to read his mind. “I really like you, too,
and you know that. I get why you felt you had to do it, but don’t you realize
we’re not the first couple that’s had to go through this? And we won’t be the
last. There are plenty of gay people in the world who have to fight for what
they want and who they love. The fight’s gotten a little easier over the last
few years, but it’s far from over.
“It’s not just gay people either,” He sighed. “What about interracial couples?
Or young guys attracted to older women? The thing that’s so screwed up about
humanity is that people are taught to fear what’s different. They think they
have to question it instead of just accepting it. It doesn’t make any sense to
me ‘cause I mean, if you’re happy….what does it matter?”
Kasen was stammering. Rowan could tell he was struggling to say each word as
the emotion in his voice grew thick. He immediately leaned over, collecting
the younger male into his arms as he crushed him against his chest and planted
a soft kiss to his hairline.
“It
doesn’t matter,” Rowan whispered. “It shouldn’t matter,” He closed his eyes,
breathing Kasen’s scent in and allowing it to fog his mind. They would get
through this, wouldn’t they? Kasen meant so much to him, and even with his
brief moment of stupidity and bad judgment, Rowan realized he didn’t want to
give this kid up. What if there was something more that could happen between
them?
“And
now Houston’s gone,” Kasen sniffled. “What kind of person can sleep soundly at
night after stealing another man’s dog? Why would they do that? Why do they
have to keep hurting us? What did we ever do to them?”
Kasen was suddenly pulling away and Rowan was helpless to stop him. The tears
were back in his blue eyes and the anger was easy to see brewing in the
swirling depths of his hues.
“I
want my dog back,” Kasen seethed. “I want my dog back and I want those
assholes to pay for what they’ve done. Not just to me, but to you, too. I
want people to get over themselves and let us live in peace. They don’t have
to like it, but they need to respect it. You don’t see me going to another
person’s house and trashing the place just because they like something I
don’t!”
“I
know,” Rowan said quietly as he watched him pace the floor.
“I
don’t want people who are different to suffer anymore. I don’t want gay guys
to be beaten and killed because of what their heart wants, and I don’t want to
see young kids killing themselves over bullying from their narrow minded
classmates,” He sobbed. He was having a meltdown and Rowan didn’t know how to
prevent it. Maybe he wasn’t supposed to; maybe this was what Kasen needed. He
just had to let it all out.
“I
want to go out there and hold a guy’s hand without being afraid,” Kasen whispered
as hot tears rolled down his cheeks. “I want everybody –no matter who they are
or what they want- to have the ability to walk down the street without somebody
opening their mouth and saying it’s not right. Because love is always right,
Rowan,” He stared at him with wild, heartbroken eyes. “Love is love is love,
and damn it….I shouldn’t be hated for loving somebody.”
Rowan blinked back the tears forming in his eyes as he sucked in a sharp
breath. He was trying so damn hard to keep himself together as the painful
lump in his throat grew bigger. Quickly lifting a hand to wipe at his eyes, he
sniffed and stood. He didn’t even really think about it as he stepped forward
and grabbed Kasen by the shoulders, pulling him against his chest again.
“You can love whoever you want to,” He struggled to say in spite of the aching
grip his emotions had on his lungs. “You can do whatever you want to….be
whatever you want to be, Kase. They can’t take that away from you. Do you
hear me?” He pulled back an inch or so to gaze into his eyes. God, why did the
kid have to cry like that? Why did somebody have to think it was
okay
to make him cry like that? “It’s gonna be all right. I promise. We’ll find
Houston and everything will get better. It has to.”
Once
Kasen had calmed down enough, Rowan convinced him they both needed to get some
sleep. He wasn’t sure if he’d actually sleep at all, but he was more concerned
for the younger male’s wellbeing than his own. He
did
care about him,
and as Kasen’s breathing evened out beside him, Rowan spent the next few
moments watching him sleep.
He
lifted a hand to brush the backs of his knuckles against the stubble on Kasen’s
jaw. He listened to the steady rhythm of his breathing as his chest rose and
fell. He admired the small twitch at the corner of his lips; lips he’d kissed
hundreds of times and still wasn’t satisfied. His hunger for Kasen was
insatiable, and his need to protect him from the bad in the world steadily grew
stronger with each passing day. His desire to make him happy took precedence
over everything else, and it was in that moment that Rowan finally realized
something.
“I
love you,” He murmured, pressing a kiss near the corner of Kasen’s eye. “And I
don’t care what they think about it.”
Chapter
Twenty One
“Houston!” Kasen called out as he cupped his hands around his mouth and
continued walking down the sidewalk. “Houston! Where are you?!”
It
was a fat chance, but if Houston was close by, maybe he’d hear his voice and
bark. Kasen remained optimistic despite everything that had happened over the
last few days. He tried to keep the events from the weekend far from his mind,
but it wasn’t easy to do.
He’d
stayed at Rowan’s until Monday, which was weird for him. It wasn’t weird
because it was Rowan, by any means; but it was because he’d never been to
Rowan’s house before then, and he hated that he’d been invited over due to the
circumstances.
Rowan meant well-he knew that. Rowan was all around a great person, and Kasen
would be forever in his debt for the kindness he’d shown to him since Friday
night, but there were some things he needed to do on his own.
The
veterinarian was reluctant to head back to the clinic on Monday morning, and
even more so reluctant to let Kasen go back home…but they needed this
normalcy. Kasen
needed
the normalcy in order to keep his sanity. If
anything was going to get better, it had to start with getting back into a
routine.
This wasn’t much of a routine though. Walking down the streets of Chartreuse
at 10 AM for the past three days and calling out for his dog was far from the
normalcy Kasen wanted. If he had his way, Houston would be back in the safety
of his apartment, his posters wouldn’t be ruined, and he wouldn’t be
contemplating moving as far away as possible.
“Houston!” He called again, his eyes scanning back and forth from one yard to
another. What if Houston was…..
No. He couldn’t and wouldn’t entertain that idea. Houston was fine. Nobody
had fed him to alligators, right?
I
wouldn’t put it past them,
He thought sadly as he rounded the corner. He
was on the street that led to the dog park now, and a pain stabbed at his heart
as he recalled his happy dog bounding across the lawn. He missed him so much.
He
has to be okay.
He saw a familiar head of blond
hair seated on the bench where he’d first met Rowan, and he took comfort in the
fact he could talk to Jessica. Since that day in the vet’s office, their
friendship had blossomed and though he wasn’t used to having many friends, she
was definitely a good candidate if he ever considered committing to said
friendship.
He
closed the gate securely behind himself, letting one foot fall in front of the
other as he approached her. Jessica looked up from the book she was reading
and then quickly averted her gaze. That was very unlike her.
“Hey, Jess,” Kasen said as he eased down onto the bench beside of her. He
turned to stare at her, observing her odd behavior. “You okay?”
“I’m fine,” Jessica replied softly as she turned the page, clearing her
throat. “Have you found Houston yet?”
When Kasen didn’t answer, she lifted her eyes and turned her head in every direction
except towards him, “Hm. That’s a silly question, isn’t it?” She sighed. “You
wouldn’t be here alone otherwise.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” Kasen frowned, studying her more closely as he tilted his
head to the side. “What’s wrong, Jess?”
“Nothing,” She replied quickly, shaking her head. She seemed to be deeply
engrossed with her book-or at least that’s what she was pretending to do.
Kasen couldn’t shake the nagging in the back of his mind as he leaned over and
rested a hand against the bench seat.
“Look at me, Jess.”
She
was hesitant, but Jessica slowly turned her head to gaze at him. It barely
took a millisecond for Kasen to spot the light bruise resting on her right jaw,
and upon seeing it, something inside of him stirred. Chills ran down his
spine; goose bumps erupted on his skin; and Kasen felt his nostrils burning in
warning of angry tears.
“What happened?” He whispered.
Jessica blinked back tears, dropping her eyes to her lap instead of holding his
gaze. She sniffled softly and shrugged her shoulders, “Well I ain’t gonna lie
and say I fell on something,” She released a disgusted laugh before moistening
her lips with a quick swipe of her tongue. “He said I deserved it for back
talking.”
His
suspicions were confirmed, and it took everything in him to remain seated. He
was not a fan of the idea of a man abusing a woman. Nothing ever gave anybody
the right to hurt another person.
“That’s bullshit,” Kasen replied hoarsely. “Your husband did this to you?
Jessica, you have to-”
“I
know what you’re going to say, Kase,” She cut him off, finally meeting his gaze
once more. “You’re going to say I have to report it and that I have to leave
him…but it’s not that easy, you know? My mama won’t let me come back home. My
mama didn’t even believe me when I told her about it,” She sniffled softly,
wiping at her eyes with her coat sleeve. “He’s never really done anything like
this before. Sure, he’s yelled at me a few times…but he’s never hit me.”
“Why did he hit you?” Kasen asked as he slid closer, wrapping his arm around
her trembling shoulders. “I mean, it doesn’t matter because he shouldn’t have
touched you in the first place….but what happened?”
She
released a shaky breath as she toyed with the golden band on her ring finger.
She glanced towards the sky, blinking back fresh tears before speaking again.
“I
told him…..that he was a disgusting, narrow-minded prick and I was gonna report
his ass for vandalism and harassment.”
His
heart may have stopped. Hell, time may have stood still as Kasen stared at her
with wide eyes. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? Jessica nodded
slowly.
“After I got off the phone with you the other night, you know, after everything
had happened and you went to stay with Rowan, he flew off his rocker and
started screaming at me for talking to you. He just…he went insane, Kasen. He
said I didn’t need to be hanging out with the likes of you, and when I asked
him what the hell that was supposed to mean, he went off on this rant of gay
people and how they’re going to hell.
“That’s when I asked him if he had anything to do with the prank calls and your
place, you know? Or maybe if he knew who was doing it….and he got so mad. He
got so mad at me,” She sobbed, burying her face into her hands. “I couldn’t
let him do that to you. He ain’t got no right to be harassing people, but
especially not you, Kasen.”
He
was at a loss for words as his arm tightened around her. He felt
horrible
for the fact he was the reason she’d gotten hurt. And then, it made him angry.
“You have to leave him,” Kasen whispered. “You can come stay with me, Jess.
You and Diana can come live at my place until you’re on your feet again.”
“I
can’t do that,” She whimpered. Her voice was muffled from between her hands,
but he could make out most of her words. She was saying something about
‘scared’ and ‘he’ll kill me’, but Kasen didn’t give a damn about what her
husband would –try- to do. He couldn’t let her go back home to that.
“Jess, come on,” He pleaded gently, rubbing his hand up and down her back in a
soothing manner. “I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’m sorry he hit you
because of me.”
“Don’t you be sorry,” She argued in a stronger voice. She lifted her head and
wiped at her eyes again, taking in a deep breath. “I won’t stand by and let
this happen, Kasey. You’re not going to fight this fight alone,” Her voice
broke on her again and more tears slid down her cheeks. “Everybody should have
the right to live in peace and love freely. I’m on your side and I reckon
there’s a name for that, too. Toby called me a fag hag.”
Oh,
he really didn’t like this Toby character at all. In fact, he could remember
Toby from high school. An arrogant, pompous piece of work that had to be an
alpha male about everything. He was the captain of the football team and he
came from a long lineage of assholes.
“Well, so what if you’re a fag hag?” Kasen asked, though he hardly thought the
term was nice at all. “You can be
my
fag hag and he’s not going to
touch you again. You hear me?”
Jessica sniffled again but tried to smile, “I hear you,” She replied softly.
“You have to report him,” Kasen repeated. “And I’m not taking no for an
answer. You’re coming to stay with me.”
----------------------
“All
right, Sosa, you’re ready to go,” Rowan smiled half-heartedly as he scratched
the Dalmatian behind the ears, allowing him to hop off the table. “Just make
sure he gets plenty of rest for a small while more and he’ll be as good as new,
Chief.”
“Well, we sure do appreciate it,” The Chartreuse Fire Department chief nodded,
grinning as he reached down to pat Sosa on the back. “I didn’t really want to
take him two towns away to have this done, Doctor Kelly. I’m glad you were
here to do it.”
“It’s no problem,” Rowan nodded, guiding him back out to the receptionist’s
desk. Natasha was feeling under the weather, so he was handling everything on
his own today. Not that he minded, actually. He found comfort in the silent
atmosphere; he needed it. After everything that had happened, he just needed a
few minutes to collect his thoughts.
“Say uh, Doc,” The chief cleared his throat, leaning against the counter as he
glanced at him. “I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, but it’s a
popular topic in town at the moment…”
Rowan lifted an eyebrow.
“Well, I know there’s been a lot going on for you here in this last little
while, but I was just wondering if they ever caught the little punk that
vandalized your clinic.”
Rowan sighed, sliding Sosa’s file back in with the other charts as he shook his
head, “Funnily enough, no.”
“Dang,” The chief shook his head. “That’s just a real shame, Son. I’m sorry
to hear that. You think they’d do a little more to keep our neighborhoods
safe. I couldn’t tell you the last time I heard of anybody destroying somebody
else’s property. It’s like with the Reed boy…I swear, that’s just the most
reckless thing I’ve ever heard of.”
“Reckless,”
Rowan echoed thoughtfully, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. The only thing
the cops knew about –and apparently all of Chartreuse, too- was that Kasen’s
apartment had been burglarized and his dog was gone. Kasen had decided against
telling them about the phone calls, though Rowan was certain
somebody
must’ve heard him on the air that night. He also refused to tell them about
the two dumb-fucks in the parking lot in fear of Rowan getting into trouble.
“Yeah, well, the police department doesn’t seem to be too worried about it.”
“What do you mean?” The chief frowned as he stroked the thick beard adorning
his chin. “The police worry about everything around here. We pride ourselves
in being a safe town. We have a fairly low crime rate.”
“Against
your outstanding citizens, I’m sure,” Rowan stated flatly as he stared at him.
“I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, Chief, I really do-but I’m not
surprised. I don’t expect your police department to help me, or even one of
their own. I’m going to get to the bottom of it on my own. I don’t need the
men in uniform to help me.”
“Be
that as it may,” The chief leaned over the counter, his piercing green eyes
staying on Rowan’s face. “I just want you to know that you’ve got my support.”
Rowan stared at him in surprise. What?
“Son, I know I ain’t no spring chicken, and maybe a lot of my peers might think
I’m crazy….but what happened here was wrong. Plain and simple, it was wrong.
Now, I don’t have much care for what you do in your off time, but I don’t
reckon it’s anybody else’s business or their place to be bothering you. So…I
just want you to know that me and my boys will keep an eye out when we pass by
here on our way home at night. It ain’t much, but it’s the least I can do
since you took such good care of Sosa.”
Rowan didn’t know what to say. Hell, he was still speechless as the fire chief
left with Sosa in tow. Long after the fire chief’s cruiser was out of sight,
Rowan stood in the lobby with a dumbfounded expression on his face. Never in
his wildest dreams would he have thought that a man like that would be on his
side.
“Maybe there’s still hope for Chartreuse yet,” He commented as he glanced at
Napoleon. The sleepy dog didn’t even bother to open his eyes as he huffed in
response.
The
rest of his day passed by fairly quickly, and Rowan found it difficult to
concentrate on much else because his mind was focused on Kasen. They needed to
find Houston, but he didn’t have the slightest clue on where to begin. He’d
seen the posters around town. Kasen had printed off at least a hundred of the
brightly colored announcements, begging for any information that would lead to
the recovery of his canine companion. All Rowan wanted to do was bring him home.