Catch me! Catch me not! (6 page)

Carlo smiled as he read Emma’s email. She sounded as if she was getting her life together. Georgina and Fabio had returned to London for the Christening of their son, whom they called Luca as it was easy for both families to pronounce. They told him about her. She was working in her old job but more senior now. She was telling him about a puppy she had seen and wanted to get. It was a lovely Labrador and looking at those hazelnut eyes he could see why she would want such devotion. She wanted him to help provide day care for the puppy. Without it she would not take it on.
She had said that dogs needed training and love because they were faithful. This reference made him wonder if he could ever heal the hurt his one mistake had caused. He was sure one day they would be together again. Fabio and Georgina had learnt about the reason why she had left Singapore so suddenly and both were upset with him. He had not just lost his wife, he had lost his friends and his father’s respect. Antonio had been most eloquent in his displeasure.

He read on and then stopped absolutely shocked. Oh my God! She was wondering about a divorce. Whilst the possibility had always been there, the thought of losing her forever made him feel quite sick. He guiltily read on, praying the reason was not another man, he would kill him before letting another man touch his wife. Fabio had told him in no uncertain terms that this was ridiculous since he had foregone any
rights in that department the moment he went to bed and  had sex with another woman.

Could he make it up to her? Could a few hours of madness be forgiven? Could they try again for a baby? Was a baby so very important when they had each other...good choice of words Carlo...had and it would permanently be had if he did not go to London and win her back.

Panic struck. He was going to lose Emma. He had to think. He went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of white wine pouring himself a glass. He went sipped the wine smiling and planning. He had won her heart once he could do it again. He wanted to Skype her but it was too soon and besides the wine was slipping down very well.

He went to list the things he loved about her.

1. I love her eyes, changing colour with her moods
   
2. I love her hair in the sunlight, copper, gold, amber oh so many colours.
   
3. I love her wicked smile after we have made love.
   
4. I love the way her body comes to life under my hands.
   
5. I love her cooking!
   
6. I love her accent in Italian!
   
7. I love her perfume.
   
8. I love her
   wit.
   
9. I love her enthusiasm
   
10. I just love her.
    

He read through her email again.

Ciao Carlo

I am sending you a photo of the latest hopeful male in my life, he is 40 days old and if you help me with the day care, his name will be Pedro and he will be the male in my life. I gather from Georgina and Fabio that their time in Singapore is nearly up, heavens 5 years. Luca is now 3 ½! Sofia is over 2 and she is a little rascal much like her mother!!

My job is going really well and I am going to be sent abroad again, thus the need for a dog sitter if I take on Pedro.

Carlo. I feel that after nearly four  years of separation it is useless to carry on and think that we can get back together again, we were lucky and shared a very special time together, we had more happiness than a lot of people had in a life time, however now I want a divorce. I feel ready to move on and I think I have found a very dear friend who may become more than a friend and then who knows. I think he could make me very happy and I am ready to try again.

Georgina tells me you are still single, Don’t worry I am no longer jealous.
I am sure Antonella is more than willing to warm your cold bed.

I am glad because I have been promoted, I have a good job, great flat and doing what I want to do, maybe we just were too young and too naive to be together long
term. You gave me the happiest 2 ½ years of my life but they were a dream and now life must move on. I look at the documentary we made so many years ago and think how lucky I was and will remember with nostalgia those happy carefree days.

Namaste Emma

God, I have known her for 6 ½ years and been her husband for 5 ½ and I still love her...the thought was both shocking and sad. Three hours of mediocre sex had thrown away what would have been over 5 ½ years of marriage. I must do something and it must be now. Why suddenly Divorce was it more than just a possible Pedro taking his place?
They had been apart for nearly four years now. He scanned the email again and homed in  on the phrase more than a friend. He felt bile rise to his throat. No this could not be happening!

He remembered her smile and the way she felt in his arms before the act of love making had become mechanical to provide a son! His fervid wish was that they would have a family together and that they would  be able to start again. He had no illusions about starting again would mean on her terms in her country. He began to feel a tingle of hope that perhaps he could get transferred to London and try once again to conquer his Emma. This time romance would not be enough. This time his happiness was on the proverbial platter and he did not intend to spend the rest of  his life living with the  remorse  of what might have been. He went to the fridge and poured himself another glass of cool white wine, he sipped it and searched for something to eat but his appetite had just disappeared with “More than a friend”

He picked up the phone and jabbed Fabio’s number. Please help him reply.

“Ciao Fabio speaking, who is it?”

“Carlo, long time no hear! Emma just wrote an email to me and tells me she wants a divorce. I was wondering if I could come round and see you or meet up for a drink? I need some advice”

Fabio sighed, “Carlo even after all this time I cannot condone what you did and leaving the evidence in your suitcase was beyond awful. Hell, you were married for just over a year. I really think it is time she did move on with her life considering how you behaved. Yes I will meet up for a drink for old times’ sake and the fact that you are my best man, but don’t talk about Emma because what she feels or does is her affair and I will not be involved again. Georgina would never forgive me!”

Carlo grimaced, “Understood and ok let’s meet up at Raffles, we could have a Singapore Sling for old times’ sake!”

“Or go the whole hog and have Chilli Crab! Ok let’s have a boy’s night out!”

“I warn you I have already had three  glasses of wine, that email freaked me out!”

“Carlo, it will be a pleasure to be together for an evening. I can tell you to your face what an idiot you have been and with that woman was incredible! You had Emma, heavens above and I can tell you as a father wait because your sex life is conditioned, you smell of cheese for the first months and your wife becomes a cow!! That said they are the most precious things in my life!”

Carlo sighed, the thought of having a little Emma to hold made him feel quite queasy! Now he had to go to London to convince his wife that he was the best thing since sliced bread and be gooey about babies!  Yuk! He thought back to the women who had helped him during their separation and none of them wanted cheesy clothes maybe he was not cut out to be a husband! He loved his Emma.

Why had he been so stupid? Oh! Please help me to feel her hair fall through my fingers, help him feel her heart beat against his heart, help me one day to show her how much he loved her
! How stupid and now she wanted a Divorce. The word left a bitter taste in his mouth. He never thought that a word could have a taste, Divorce, tasted like bile in his mouth.

             
                                          ****      ****     ****    ****

Fabio watched Carlo arrive across the bar, he looked ill, not just worse for the wear due to his indulgence.

Carlo hung onto the sight of his old friend, he aimed his feet towards the once comforting presence.

Fabio wanted to throttle his childhood friend, he looked awful. How bloody stupid could you get
? Now was not the time, he must swallow his thoughts and help them both. Emma and Carlo were meant to be! Heavens it was thanks to them that he was a husband and a father!!

Carlo looked as if tears were going to come, Fabio hoped not. For heaven’s sake, he had jeopardised their marriage for just a few minutes of  mediocre squalid sex! The thought of forfeiting Georgina for the taste of another woman between his thighs was just unthinkable.

“Let’s order and I hope you came by taxi!” Fabio perused his friend, he was seriously looking awful.

“I may be
stronzo...how do you say that in English a shit? However of course I came by taxi, I can’t drive tonight!”

“Well, at least about this we in agreement!”

“Fabio, I love her. I made a mistake. I have paid for it for over one thousand four hundred and sixty days! Thirty five thousand and forty hours! Isn’t that enough?”

Put like that it was! What could F
abio say?

“So what are you going to do Carlo? Swan in and take
off where you left off? She has moved on in life and is ready to try again!”

“Fabio! I KNOW!”  He shouted.

Unperturbed, Fabio tried again, “You can’t just walk in after all these years and expect her to be waiting for you with open arms! Hell! You cheated on her and did not even have the decency to do it without her finding out! She found the condom!”

Carlo closed his eyes and counted to a hundred. Every waking hour he had berated himself for the idiot he had been. He prayed for another chance to have her in his arms again. To see her smile to taste her to love her.

“I am human Fabio! I am not perfect. We were having problems making children and the act of lovemaking became a mechanical, military strategy the right time on the right day for the right time, it was not natural, if we were meant to have children fine but if we were not then I loved Emma more than I could love anyone else.”

“You have a bizarre way of showing it, hopping into bed with a woman you barely know!”

“Dammit I KNOW!”  people around them began to look in their direction and he tried to shut up and get a grip of his raw emotions. He tried again, “I know, I was hurt that..”

Fabio, his best friend, the brother he had never had, interrupted, “You moron, you spineless moron...if you loved her every part of you would love her and help her and communicate with her. You ignoramus moron, she was yours, you were selfish in
Amatrice, but you were beyond stupid when you put yourself before her happiness, she wanted a baby, you just wanted her...for women that is not enough...they want the whole picture!”

Carlo
glared at his friend. The words sunk in and he realised they were true. He was a spineless moron! Oh! Oh my god! I wanted to be the only one in her life.

He thought about the happy family Fabio had and how proud he was of his family; he thought about Fabio’s heart, he had space for it all children, wife, his family in Italy, his friends, his work, his heart had no limits...he was a fulfilled man. He looked at his own dysfunctional family finding out at the age of 27 that his mother was not his mother and the values he had been brought up with were not for him had been difficult to digest, but his best friend had just told him that he was a spineless moron and he had to agree!!

Carlo laughed, hugging Fabio. Fabio looked a little surprised! Had his best friend really taken leave of his senses? People in the restaurant were looking on with interest! European men!!

“You are right I should have done something about this before now! I will make sure she realises that we were meant to be...we did not meet by chance...we will have children and we will be so proud of them just like you and Georgina! If I win her back will you come to our reunion party?”

“If you make her happy I would even be your best man again!!”

“I just wasn’t ready! I am now and I cannot think of her with another man..”

“Well....maybe she could not think of you with another woman but that did not stop you...don’t be a hypocrite.”

“This time I will make it ok!”

“You won’t get another chance...good luck my friend...good luck!”

They parted promising to see more of each other and to keep more in touch.

                                          ****    ****    ****    ****    ****

Carlo berated himself, he prayed it was not too late to show Emma that he loved her and that life with him could be fun. He tried to think of the reasons why they had drifted apart after such a promising start. The three main reasons that came to mind were:

1. She wanted a child. He could do his best about this the medical field had made  progress by leaps and bounds lately.
   
2. Her independence, this was difficult because by nature his job required that he spend time abroad. They could maybe work out some sort of commuting?
   
3. His one infidelity. This he would have to show her would never happen again. Fabio had been right...he had been a spineless moron.
   

He arrived home and went straight to the computer, the time difference was such that this would arrive in her inbox in the morning.