Broken Wings (Contemporary Romance) (2 page)

However, he had not figured on Angelina. He had seen too many devastated lovers, wives, mothers and fathers. He hated death, funerals, and more than anything, he hated what the war was doing to the innocents and those that got left behind. The carnage and devastation that war left behind, and for what? This was a question he was asking himself more often these days. Joshua was already a nine-year veteran of the Army at the age of twenty seven; and he had seen far too much of death that his yearning to see more of life was becoming stronger by the day.

He had made up his mind that he would not re-enlist in the army. He had served his country well and now it was his time to live. This was his last posting, and he knew it was going to be his hardest one. Six long months without Angelina was more painful than anything he’d ever had to endure.

Joshua pulled up outside Angelina’s house; he turned off the ignition and climbed out of the car. Angelina was already making her way up the path as she turned to him.
“I have something I want you to take with you tomorrow. You have to promise me you will not open it until you arrive at your destination.” Angelina unlocked the door to her small cottage and turned the lights on as she entered the dark hallway.

“
I cannot stay, Angelina; I have not got much time left so please come here.” Joshua held out his arms as she slowly walked towards him; he pulled her close and held her tight. He pressed his lips to hers with all that he had and held onto the moment, and then Angelina buried her head in his chest, sobbing.

“
I’m sorry; you know how much I hate our goodbyes.” She reached for an envelope from the mantelpiece and handed it to him. “Remember, do not open it.” Smiling, he kissed her once more and then headed out the door.

Chapter Two (six months earlier)

Angelina Ferria woke up with a start, after a troubled night sleep filled with recurring nightmares that plagued her far too often. Her finger touched her eyebrow as she recalled her dream. It was the same dream that haunted her sleeping hours, a dream that would never leave her; it was like a ghost living in the shadows of her life. The image of a lifeless body next to her, blood pouring, the persistent rain that echoed throughout. Calling out for help before slipping into an unconscious state. Always the same dream.

Angelina made herself a strong cup of coffee and sat, with her knees bent up to her chest, perched on the window seat overlooking her quaint garden which was filled with winter roses and evergreens. She spotted a robin pecking away at the bag of nuts dangling down from the cherry blossom tree which she had placed there the day before, totally oblivious he was being watched. How she envied the robin with his simplistic and uncomplicated life and the freedom in which he flew from branch to branch. If only life could be like that, if only.

Lake Windermere felt like home to Angelina in a way nowhere else ever had before. She would drive the seven miles often and take regular runs along the vast beautiful lake during the summer; on Sunday mornings, she would swim alone before the rest of the world began to rise and the many tourists swamped the lake with their boats, as they do every summer. Running was her saviour, it allowed her to think and de-stress. Her move to the marketing town of Kendal had been a wise one as she had finally felt at peace and was able to let go of her past.

She kept herself to herself and had just a handful of friends that she trusted with her life, specifically Lucy who she loved dearly. Lucy had gone above and beyond the call of friendship during her difficult time three years before and sometimes she wondered what she would have done without her. Always there, just a phone call away whenever she needed her. Angelina was not close to her parents at all; any connection she once had was long since severed. This saddened her a great deal, but what could she do? They weren’t willing to make the effort and she had given up on them just as they had given up on her way before she'd left home at the tender age of eighteen. There was only so much effort you could put into a relationship and if it was not reciprocated then it would inevitably fail. Both parties had to be wanting. Her mother was addicted to antidepressants and could not function without them, popping Fluoextine capsules daily and occasionally one or two more than was subscribed. This would catapult her into an almost zombie-like state.

She wondered what it would have been like to have loving parents, like Lucy’s. Parents that doted on you and would always put you first. Angelina thought back to those hard years growing up; her mother and father always fighting, never agreeing on anything, least of all her. She would never forget the day her father walked out on them when she was only nine years old. This had been a very traumatic time in her life. Her thoughts drifted to her devastated mother, an image of her desperate face flashing through her mind. Things had never been the same again. Her father was not interested in visiting rights of any kind, being far too eager to start his new life with potential wife number two.

Her mother had slipped into a dark place filled with depression. Barely noticing Angelina from one day to the next, leaving her to fend for herself most days. Her home life had become a place she dreamed of escaping one day; her mother seemed to almost blame her for her own demise as the years passed by and the tension between them became even more unbearable as she grew older. When Angelina was old enough to leave home, she did not hesitate for one single moment. Her mother made no effort to encourage her to stay and said goodbye with very little emotion. The image of her mother walking back through her front door before Angelina had even made it through the garden gate remained with her for a very long time.

At eighteen years old, Angelina had left Six Form with many A-levels and a bright future in front of her. She applied for a job in a little town outside Windermere, as far away from her mother as possible, and no one was more surprised than her when she received the all-important letter informing her that the position of junior editor for a local newspaper was hers. She had four weeks from the date of her letter to find somewhere to live in Windermere and settle in before she started her position. She scoured the papers but to no avail so Angelina decided to register with an online letting agency local to Lake Windermere and prayed that something would come up. It would be two weeks before she received a phone call advising her a very small cottage had just come on the market for long term let in the marketing town of Kendal, situated in the south Lakeland district, just seven miles from Lake Windermere. It was reasonably priced and was on a six month rolling contract.

Without hesitation, she snapped it up and paid a month’s deposit and a month’s rent up front as required to secure the cottage. It came fully furnished and was just two miles from the large town where she would be working. She had saved all her money from part time jobs and her Saturday job proofreading for a local automotive magazine over the past two years while she had been at college and had quite a tidy sum saved up already. Certainly enough to keep her going and aid her new independent life for a few months.

Recalling those first couple of years after she left home saddened her and she came over all emotional. It was not easy setting up home by herself at such a young age with no parental support behind her. Looking back, she felt proud of herself. She loved her cottage, which she still rented, and her position with the local newspaper had gone from strength to strength, securing her promotion just one year later and a much needed salary increase. This enabled her to purchase her own second-hand car and laptop and from there she was able to fulfil another long awaited dream to start writing in her spare time. By her second year in Windermere, she had completed her first romance novel and was way into her second. Angelina spent a lot of time alone, writing at weekends, with just the occasional lunch date with Lucy and a monthly dinner date with the girls. Angelina had cultivated a happy life for herself, one she was very satisfied with.

Looking through her wardrobe and flicking through her rails, Angelina picked out a pair of skinny blue jeans and a fitted sweater. She tied her hair in a French knot at the nape of her neck and grabbed her three inch heel boots. Not one for wearing too much makeup, Angelina dressed her lips with a splash of sheer gloss lipstick and, after checking herself over in the hallway mirror, she was satisfied that she looked presentable. She smiled to herself.
“That will do for lunch.” She picked up her purse and headed out of the door.

The roads were fairly busy at the weekends, with many tourists heading to Kendal town for weekend breaks. Angelina turned on the radio and Josh Kumra’s haunting voice filled the car with his debut song,
“Don't go.” This was her favourite song right now and one that evoked all kinds of emotions inside of her. She was still singing along as she approached the Hare and Hound pub, the car park was half empty and she clocked Lucy parking up on the opposite side. She tooted her horn and Lucy waved frantically and over enthusiastically as always as she climbed out of her car.

“
I hope you’re hungry because I’m starving. I didn’t bother with breakfast today and filled up on tea instead, now my stomach is making me pay. It’s been rumbling away for the past hour.” Angelina hugged her friend as they walked into the quaint village pub arm in arm. “So what have you been up to this week? Stumbled upon a tall dark handsome man by any chance?” teased Lucy.

“
Men are the last thing on my mind Lucy, you of all people should know that, and anyway they just toy with your heart or leave you broken one way or another. I have no intentions of getting close to anyone for a long time. I need to concentrate on my career, especially my writing.”

Angelina picked up the menu and perused its offerings.
“I just think it would be good for you to go on a date, dip your toe in the water, so to speak! It’s not like a marriage commitment or anything. You need to start dating, have some fun, let someone spoil you and make you feel like the beautiful woman you are. It's been three years, Angelina, you need to move on. I know it's not easy for you but you're still in your twenties and you have your whole life in front of you. Don't spend the rest of your life alone. There is someone else out there for you if only you would open your eyes and your heart.”

Angelina smiled and nodded and then handed Lucy the menu. She knew she meant well and wanted the best for her, but Lucy was not the one with a tortured heart. She was not the one tormented by nightmares night after night, and she was not the one who bore
an inch long scar on her face, a constant reminder of what happened every time she looked into the mirror.

“
I will have the lasagne with salad and my usual glass of rosé.” Lucy put the menu down, already decided on her lunch.

“
Lucy, truth is I am afraid, afraid I will give my heart away only for it to be shattered again. It has taken me three years to get over Daniel; he is still in my dreams, he occupies my thoughts daily and I still miss him. It may be three years to everyone else but it seems like only yesterday to me. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I swear he is in the room with me for those brief few moments before reality kicks in. It really feels like he's with me. I don’t ever want to feel that kind of loss again, not ever. So please, Lucy, just for me, drop it, will you?”

Lucy considered her friend for a few minutes while she took a trip to the Ladies. She wanted nothing more than to see her friend happy again, to see the tormented look that occupied her eyes daily disappear completely. The last time Lucy had coerced Angelina into a date was a total mistake and one that she never wanted to repeat again. She understood Angelina was not ready to settle down again; however, she felt a male friend would be good for her. Angelina’s mind was set though and no amount of wine over lunch would sway her from that. She was stubborn and becoming more and more set in her ways as the years passed by. At only twenty six years old, Angelina had suffered pain most people would never have to endure.

Before they knew it, dusk was setting in and they had been in the pub lunching all afternoon. “Angelina, once again time has run away with me. I have to dash back as Richard is picking me up at six o’clock! It’s going to take me the next two hours to transform this face.” They fell into uncontrollable bouts of laughter as the waiter approached. “Please can we have the bill now?” asked Lucy, still giggling. The waiter smiled coyly, took Lucy’s credit card and turned on his heel towards the bar.

The nights were drawing in earlier each day and winter was only a whisper away. Angelina and Lucy hugged each other tightly and went their separate ways. Just a mile down the country lane, Angelina’s car started coughing and spluttering until it just simply stopped. There was smoke coming from the engine and Angelina could not believe this was happening right here, right now, as night was closing in on a dark country road. She slammed her hand down on the steering wheel and climbed out of the car in a huff. She retrieved the torch from the boot and proceeded to lift the hood and take a look at the engine. She had no idea about cars, or why she even bothered to take a look. She slammed down the hood, locked the car and started walking towards the town.

She felt uneasy, as the sky was dark and hanging low. There were no stars visible and the moon appeared to be sleeping. The wind was up and she only had her torch as a guide. Up ahead she could see lights from a car approaching. She stood back on the side of the road, waving frantically. As the car approached, it didn’t slow down but carried on speeding past. “Great, just great. I DON’T NEED YOUR STUPID RIDE, IDIOT,” she shouted out as she watched the tail lights disappear around the corner.