Maybe he hadn’t wanted to see how bad those issues were. Maybe he’d ignored them because of his feelings for her.
So didn’t he bear some of the burden for the breakdown that had led to her suicide attempt?
“Barbara had serious mental health issues before you entered her life. She managed to hold it together when you two were seeing each other but nothing you did pushed her over that edge. She tried to take her life because she was sick. Not because you stayed too late at the lab or didn’t call her every half hour.”
“But I knew she was sick and I didn’t care—”
“No, Jimmy.” His mom shook her head sharply. “That’s not true and you know it. You
did
care. You cared very much but you couldn’t
save
her. And that’s the difference. Merri doesn’t need saving.”
She handed him a slip of paper. “So here. Call her. Apologize for whatever it was you did wrong and tell her how you feel. She’s not Barbara.”
He knew that. He did… He just…
Christ, he was an idiot.
He grimaced. “Why is everyone so sure I’m the one who did something wrong?”
His mom’s raised eyebrows made him wince.
“Okay, okay. I get it. I screwed up.” He paused. “What if an apology isn’t enough?”
Now his mom smiled. “Then I guess you’ll find out just how much of the DeMarco charm you inherited from your father.”
* * * * *
Merri had just gotten out of the shower when her doorbell rang.
Since she’d only heard it ring once or twice in the three years she’d lived in this apartment, she wasn’t sure that’s what it was at first.
And considering she hadn’t slept much in the past week, she might have been hallucinating.
She hadn’t had more than eight hours of sleep in the past three days. And that only in one-hour increments.
Pulling on gym shorts and a baggy t-shirt, she was still braiding her wet hair when she got to the door.
She opened it without bothering to look through the peephole. Building security had to vet everyone who entered, so it had to be someone on her approved list of visitors. That meant her parents, her brother and sister, her boss, and the two men who were second-in-command of her team.
Anyone else and the security guard on duty called before letting them in.
When she caught her first sight of Jimmy, her mouth dropped open but no words emerged.
Her first instinct was to grab him and pull him inside her apartment so he couldn’t get away. Her second was to pinch herself to make sure she was awake.
Dressed in jeans and a t-shirt with some Japanese writing on it, his hair a little longer than it’d been the last time she’d seen him more than two weeks ago, he made her heart thump so hard she could have sworn she was having a heart attack.
“Jimmy.”
“Hey, Merri. How are you? I hope I’m not catching you at a bad time.”
“Bad time?”
His lips curved in a slight smile and she nearly sighed. God, she’d missed him. How the hell could she have missed him so badly after spending only three days with him?
Three intensely passionate days.
“Is everything okay, Merri? You look a little out of it.”
“Out of it?”
He lost the half-smile and put a hand on her shoulder, maneuvering her backward until they stood in her living room. The apartment had always felt spacious to her, but now, with Jimmy here, it definitely didn’t feel big enough.
“Are you feeling okay? Have you eaten at all in the last couple of days? Have you slept? You need to sit down.”
While she gaped at him, he took her by the hand and practically dragged her to the sofa. At the first touch of his hand to hers, she knew he was real. This wasn’t a dream, and the way he was looking at her was making her want to grin like a fool.
“Jimmy.”
He sighed, relief making his shoulders slump. “Jesus, Merri, you scared the hell out of me. I thought you were having a freaking psychotic break. Is everything okay? Are you okay? Did something happen? When—”
She reached up and put her fingers over his mouth, stroking his lips. “I’m fine. Actually, I’m better than fine. Now.”
Jimmy’s gaze narrowed and she felt like he’d just put her under a microscope. Maybe she should’ve worked up to sounding so happy to see him.
“How much sleep did you have last night?” His expression told her he expected her to say none, which was exactly right.
“You probably already know the answer to that, so I’m not gonna bother to answer. What are you doing here, Jimmy?”
He didn’t look away, just continued to look straight into her eyes. “I’m here to grovel. If that doesn’t work, I might resort to begging.”
Her heart beat a little faster. “And why would you need to do that?”
“Because I let you come back here thinking I don’t care enough about you to fight for you.”
All the fatigue that had been dragging her down, all the tension, all the strain…they fell away like so much baggage.
She tried to think of the right thing to say, the perfect thing to say to let him know she felt the same way. But she couldn’t so she leaned in and kissed him. They seemed to communicate well this way.
It took him a second to respond, but when he did, she had no doubt about his feelings. He kissed her back as desperately as she kissed him.
When they finally had to come up for air, she wore a smile she couldn’t contain, and so did Jimmy.
“I love you, Merri.”
Her face hurt, she smiled so hard. “Glad to hear it because I love you too.”
“We’ll figure out everything else, okay? Where we’re going to live, how we’re going to make it work… We’ll deal with it. I have it on good authority that you’re an excellent problem solver.”
“And I know there’s more to life than work. Now, how attached are you to this shirt? Or can I just rip it off?”
Jimmy’s smile turned wicked. “Honey, you can tear through every shirt I own.”
“Even the X-Men?”
“Well, we might have to exempt a few. Now about your pants…”
The End