Blown Away (6 page)

I passed Murph a bottled beer and sat down across from him at our table near the bar. We were winding down at a small tavern next to the motel we were crashing at tonight. Everyone else had passed out from exhaustion, but Murph didn't sleep as much as most people, and I was still high from having Drew by my side all day. Now that she was tucked into a room with Millie, I could actually think straight again.

“That was a beauty,” Murph said, shaking his head. “Feels like it's been forever since I saw a twister touchdown that wasn't on film.”

“We couldn't have been in a better spot to see it.” I took a long swig of the beer. Its coldness and the hot shower I'd gotten at the motel were just what I needed right now.

What I
wanted
? That was Drew. But I definitely needed to steer clear of acting on that desire. Even if she was ready to move on, I wasn't the right man for her.

“You didn't shoot off your gun,” Murph said, his brows drawn together in question.

Not only hadn't I launched the probes, I hadn't even wanted to. I'd been too busy watching Drew's fascination with her first tornado while trying to make sure she didn't notice me doing it.

I shrugged. “There'll be lots of chances.”

“Were you preoccupied or something?”

I shot a murderous glare at him. “What the hell's that supposed to mean? Drew?”

He shrugged, eyes wide with innocence. “I didn't say that. I just asked a question. Defensive much?”

“I just didn't think about the probe launcher.” I defied him to call me on the lie with my eyes. He didn't.

“Did she do okay today?” he asked.

“She was great. Wanted to know if we could get any closer to the twister when it started moving away.”

Murph grinned. “Nice. Maybe we've got a permanent add to the team.”

Just the thought made my balls tighten with frustration. After my day alone with her, I'd jerked off in the shower to thoughts of her curled up in my passenger seat, her shirt creeping up to expose a couple inches of the skin on her back. I'd imagined her waking up and moving her bare feet into my lap, slowly easing her shirt up so I could see her lacy bra as she dragged one foot over my hard cock. The fantasy had ended with me pulling over and taking her right there in the truck, and I came hard as I imagined her saying my name as I got her off.

“Yeah,” I said dismissively, tipping the beer up again.

“Aiden.” Murph waited until I looked up from the table at him. “What's going on with you?”

“Nothin'. I'm always like this.”

“No, you're not. I think it's because of Drew.”

I sighed with aggravation. “Fuck off, Murph. If there was something I wanted you to know, I'd tell you.”

“I'm sure you feel too guilty to tell me.”

I just stared, my blood running cold from the sound of him saying the words I'd never given voice to. How the hell did he know?

“I should've asked you guys before I invited her onto the team.” He folded his wiry arms across his chest. “It's only been a year, and Colby was your closest friend. I didn't even consider how having her here would make you feel. It has to be hard. I should've waited, or asked, or…just not been my usual, out-of-tune-with-people self. I'm sorry.”

“Murph—”

“It's not like you're gonna say it,” he continued. “You wouldn't want to make her feel bad. But I can switch her and Tex. It might help to not have her with you all day every day.”

He had no idea just
how
that would help me. Obviously he thought having a constant reminder of Colby next to me was the problem, but that wasn't what was torturing me. Then again, as difficult as it was to be so close to Drew, it was also a chance I'd never thought I'd get.

Murph's mournful expression was too much. I couldn't have him feeling like shit over something that was all in his head.

“It's not what you think,” I said. “I'm not sorry Drew's here because it makes me think of Colby.”

“I can see it when you look at her. You may not want to admit it, even to yourself, but—”

“It's because I have feelings for her.
Strong
feelings.”

Murph's eyes widened, almost dumbfounded. “Oh.”

“Yeah. I'm an asshole who's had a secret crush on my best friend's girl since the first time I saw them together.” I exhaled deeply, surprised how good it felt to say the words out loud.

“Well, I'm an idiot.”

I grinned at Murph's sheepish expression. “Not as big an idiot as me, man. I get tied up in knots every time I see her. Now and back then.”

“And she has no idea?”

I shook my head. “No one does. Now you're the only one but me who knows. And if you say a word…”

“I won't. I'm not that kind of guy, Aiden. I won't tell a soul.”

A waitress approached and I ordered two more beers and some pizza. Murph was just looking at me, still taking in the news.

“And you don't want her to know?” he asked.

“Hell no. That would be bad on so many levels. I'm not the kind of man she needs. I'm nothin' like Colby.”

“You should let her decide what kind of man she needs.”

“Truth is, she doesn't
need
one at all. She's standing on her own two feet, and that's the kind of woman she's always been.”

“Well, all the more reason for me to switch her and Millie, then,” Murph said. “It'll help with the tied-up-in-knots thing if you don't have to be around her.”

“You fucked that up already. I
tried
to tell you when you first put her with me. And now I'm not switching.”

Murph threw his head back and laughed. “Well, this is a fine kettle of fish.”

“If that means a big fuckin' mess, then yeah, it is,” I conceded. “And since you know the truth, I guess I might as well also tell you she busted me with a waitress in my camper the other night.”

This time Murph's mouth dropped open. “You were having sex? With another woman?”

“I was trying to get Drew out of my system. I
can't have her
. I've known that all along. And then I find out she was there listening…and watching. Now I'm even more fucked up inside because I hate that she thinks I wanted another woman.”

“You did want her on some level, or you couldn't have…”

“Well, yeah,” I admitted. “My dick gets hard for a wet, willing pussy like any guy's does. But my heart…my head…” The waitress set down two fresh beers and I grabbed mine, taking a long pull on it.

“Sorry for my part in this, however inadvertent it was.”

“Naw, don't apologize, man. I'll be okay. Drew's always been bittersweet for me. But the sweet makes the bitter worth it, you know?”

Murph nodded. “We could play pool and not talk about her. How about that?”

“That sounds like what I need. I can get my mind off her, and you suck at pool so I know I'll win.”

“I've been practicing.” He pushed his glasses up as he got up from the table. “I may surprise you.”

I didn't say so, but he already had. I'd never confided in anyone but Colby before sharing my deepest secret with Murph tonight. And having him share in the load that was weighing on me felt really damn good.

I'd woken up sweaty in my motorhome bunk this morning. I told myself it was the Oklahoma heat, because it was easier than wondering if it was the dream I'd had about Aiden.

And Colby.

I shook my head as the dream came back. Colby had been making love to me, slow and sweet like I remembered. He'd buried his face in my neck and when he'd raised it back up, he'd changed into Aiden.

“You want this, Drew,” he'd said as he buried himself in me. “You want me.”

And then he'd given it to me the same way he'd given it to that woman the other night: hard and unyielding. And I'd just opened my legs wider and begged for more.

My subconscious had banished Colby in a matter of seconds, trading his memory in for Aiden. The shame made my eyes burn with tears I couldn't cry here.

“Drew, I'm taking your shampoo,” Millie said, bringing me back to the here and now.

“Wait, I'm coming to take a shower, too.”

“Hurry. I need to pee
now
. Tex is graciously stinking up the only bathroom in here.”

I slid down from my bunk and grabbed my shower stuff.

By the time Millie and I got back for the morning meeting, Murph and Tex were already waiting for us.

“No chasing today,” Murph said. “The forecast is crystal clear. We're just gonna hang out here. Aiden left earlier for one of his muck marches.”

“Muck march?” I asked.

“He used to do them in the Army. It's a long hike with a heavy backpack. He'll be gone for a while.”

“And he'll be less of an asshole when he gets back,” Tex said. “He needs time to himself.”

“You would, too, if you went through what he did,” Millie said, her tone defensive.

“I get that.” Tex raised his hands in surrender.

“What?” I looked back and forth between them. “What did he go through?”

Millie's lips drew down in a frown. “You know about his family, right?”

I shook my head. “I didn't know Aiden growing up. He's a couple years older than me.”

Millie looked at Murph like she was seeking his permission.

“Aiden moved to Lipton to live with his uncle when he was thirteen,” Murph said. “After his parents and sister died.”

My heart pounded in my chest as I took in his words. “His whole family? All of them?”

Murph nodded, his expression solemn. “A tornado destroyed their house while they were inside. Aiden wasn't there when it happened.”

I just stared at him, dumbfounded. “That's terrible. Tragic. I had no idea.”

“Yeah. I think it drove him to storm chasing and technical rescue. He teaches tech-rescue classes to firefighters when he's not chasing.”

My heart went out to Aiden in a whole new way. I'd lost my dad when I was about the same age, but to lose his entire family…I wanted to hold the thirteen-year-old he'd been and comfort him. I remembered the emotionally fragile adolescent my brother, Daniel, had been at that age. And Aiden had been left all alone at that vulnerable time.

Getting him off my mind was impossible now. My inner good girl told me to fight off the attraction I felt for Aiden. And until now, I hadn't even realized I had an inner bad girl, but apparently I did. She wanted to be near his woodsy smell and sexy grin today.

Was this why Aiden was so withdrawn? Had losing his family affected the man he'd grown into? I wanted to learn more about him, but not by asking. I wanted him to want to tell me, to trust me enough to open up.

But would that ever happen? I was thinking about it as I carried a basket of laundry into the campground's small laundry room. With no air-conditioning, it was like a sauna inside. A propped open door and box fan didn't help much.

I put my clothes in a washer with some detergent, pushed quarters into the slots, and then sat down on a plastic chair along an empty wall.

“Muffin?” an older woman asked in a throaty tone. She was the only person in the room besides me.

I looked down at the plastic container of blueberry muffins she held out. They were the kind with crumbles on top, and the sweet smell made me sigh softly.

“Are you sure you don't mind?” I asked.

She waved a hand. “Please, eat up. I can't eat all of 'em. My Herb's diabetic so I can't even take these back to our motorhome.”

“Thanks,” I said, reaching for one. I took a bite and moaned softly. “So good.”

“Wish I could eat these and have a figure like yours.” Her laugh was more of a cackle, but it was still warm and happy. “I'm Dorothy Stark, by the way. Call me Dot.”

I brushed the crumbs from my hand and shook hers. “I'm Drew. Nice to meet you.”

“Is that G.I. Joe your fella? The one with the camo pants and nice ass?”

I broke out in a grin. “Aiden? The dark-haired one?”

“Mmm, that one, yeah. I noticed he's got a hairy chest, too, not all waxed like men do these days. Gimme a hairy chest any day.”

“We're not dating, no. We're all on a storm-chasing team together.”

“Storm chasing, huh? Sounds exciting.”

“It's my first time at it, but I like it so far.”

“You with the blond guy, then? The one in the cowboy hat?”

“Tex?” I shook my head. “I'm not with any of them. All five of us are single. I actually joined the team because my fiancé was on it and I always thought it sounded exciting. He died a year ago. He was on the way home from storm chasing and stopped to help someone change a tire when he was hit by a car.”

“Well, damn,” Dot said. “I'm sorry to hear that. I lost my first husband. Motorcycle crash. We'd only been married three months.”

“I'm sorry.”

Dot's eyes were bright blue, making her look youthful despite her deep wrinkles and white hair.

“I wished I'd gone with him for a while,” she said softly. “But then my mother came over and pulled me out of bed one day and said,
‘He's dead; you're not.'
I snapped out of it after that.”

“I'm torn between wanting to move on and feeling guilty about it,” I admitted.

“You only live once.” Dot took out a blueberry muffin and bit into it. “And after a year…it's time.”

“Yeah.” I sighed deeply. “I think it is.”

“And you want to move on with G.I. Joe.”

I looked at her, wondering how she knew.

“Your eyes lit up when I mentioned him,” she said.

“Yeah, I like him,” I admitted. “But he was Colby's best friend…my fiancé.”

“Mmm. Must be a decent guy, then.”

I nodded. “More than that. He was there when we ended Colby's life support. He's a very noble, good man.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

I blew out a breath. “I don't know. Him, I guess. I'm waiting for him to make a move, but I don't know if he ever will.”

“You make one, then. Women can do that these days. Hell, I made the first move on my Herb and that was twenty-one years ago.”

“I'm no good at that stuff.”

Dot rolled her eyes and got up as her dryer buzzer sounded. “Just let him know you're interested. You know how to do that. Brush up against him, bat your eyelashes…tell him you think he's sexy.”

“I guess I could try.”

“It won't take much. You're a sweet, beautiful girl.”

Her words warmed me. “Thank you.”

Dot shook her head and pulled a large white bra from the dryer. She held it up high for me. “You enjoy that body while you can, missy. Someday you'll have to load your boulders into one of these.”

I couldn't help laughing. She peeked at me over the top of the bra, grinning mischievously.

When she finished folding her laundry, Dot left me the last two muffins and headed for the door, basket balanced on her hip.

“I'm at lot twelve,” she said. “Come by and see me sometime. We'll have some Long Island iced tea.”

“I will. Thank you.”

“Go for it, Drew. I can't wait to hear all about it.”

I nodded once and she left. I leaned back in my chair, thinking of ways I could be bold with Aiden.

My stomach churned with nervous excitement all afternoon. I needed to keep my mind occupied, so I did my nails and Millie's, read and scrubbed the kitchen in the motorhome. It was so humid out that I was heading to the bathroom for another shower when I saw Aiden walking back into camp midway through the afternoon. He wore camo pants, an olive green T-shirt, and dark brown boots. The shirt was soaked through with sweat.

I wanted to press myself against him so close his sweat would soak through to my skin. It was all I could think of now—getting closer to the man who'd piqued a lot more than my interest.

Aiden showered and disappeared into his camper. I didn't see him again until we all went out for dinner at a barbecue place a couple miles from camp.

A waitress whose dark bob was streaked with gray recognized our group.

“The storm chasers! Hey, where's the other one? The guy who always winked at me?” She scanned all the faces at the table again.

After a couple seconds of silence, Murph cleared his throat and spoke. “Colby was killed in an accident last year.”

“Oh my God.” The waitress put her hand to her heart, her eyes wide with shock. “I'm so sorry.”

“Thanks,” Murph said for all of us. He sighed deeply. “We miss him but it's important not to forget him.”

“Best be orderin' some fried pickles, then,” Tex said, grinning. “Colby looked forward to coming here all year for those.”

Aiden's low note of laughter broke the tension in the air. “Yeah, he did.”

“Well, pickles comin' right up, then,” the waitress said. “And sweet tea all around?”

“Yes, ma'am,” Aiden said, smiling at her. She ran a hand over her hair and gave him a demure glance before turning to leave.

“You've really got a way with waitresses, O'Neal,” I said to him. “I'll stay away from your camper tonight.”

He hummed his amusement. “Let's go shoot some pool, funny girl.”

My stomach did a flip of excitement. When he used that commanding tone, I couldn't resist.

He led the way through an open doorway to a bar on the other side of the room. Though he was silent, I felt his gaze on me. It was a sensual caress I couldn't get enough of.

“Will you get me a cue while I get a drink?” I asked. “You want one?”

“I'll get the drinks.” He brushed past me, turning around. “What do you want? Stella Artois?”

“Yeah. Please.”

He knew what I drank. It surprised me that he remembered that from the few times we'd been out in a group of friends.

When he got back and handed me the bottled beer, I took a sip and realized I hadn't had one since Colby had died. I sometimes drank wine with Shayla at her place, but hadn't set foot in a bar again until joining the storm-chasing team.

“This is good,” I said, not just talking about the cold beer in my hand.

By the time we reached our second game and I'd finished half of a second beer, I had a happy buzz going. We'd played mostly in silence, but I'd felt Aiden staring at me the entire time.

“I like the way you look at me,” I said, meeting his eyes boldly.

Would he bristle and deny it? He just held my gaze silently for a second.

“Well, I can't seem to help myself,” he finally said. “Same as every other guy in this place.”

“I haven't noticed anyone but you.” I held my breath as I stared at him, his eyes full of something I couldn't decipher.

“You're up,” he finally said, breaking the spell.

I leaned down to take my shot, but stood up at the last second.

“Why do you do that?” I asked. “Send such mixed signals?”

His brows arched with surprise and he walked over to me, speaking in a low tone. “I get that you're feeling drawn to the man who was closest to Colby, Drew. It's not really about me.”

“You think this is about Colby?”

He shrugged, a vacant look in his eyes now.

Was he right? I thought about my dream, when Colby had morphed into Aiden.

“The things I like about you are yours,” I said, thinking out loud. “Your quietness, your occasional smiles, your shoulders, the way you…” My cheeks flushed as I stopped myself from recounting his interlude with the waitress.

“The way I what?”

“I can't say it.”

“You started this,” he said gruffly. “So finish it.”

“The way you…were with that woman. The things you said and the way you…you know?”

His eyes darkened and his lips curved up slightly. “So this is a sex thing. You're just horny as hell.”

My already warm cheeks went hot with that statement. I
was,
but hearing him say it was mortifying.

“It's not
just
a sex thing,” I argued. “If that was it, I'd choose someone…easier.” I glanced at a nearby table, where two men in cowboy hats were playing a game.

“Hey,” I said to one of the men. He looked up and checked from side to side to make sure I was speaking to him. “Would you have casual sex with me?”

He licked his lips quickly. “Hell yeah. When? Now?”

“Fuck off, cowboy,” Aiden growled. “She's not serious.”

“Maybe I am.”

“She's
not,
” he said to the cowboy before giving me a glare of annoyance. “You've had too much to drink, lightweight.”

“Maybe you should drink some more to loosen you up,” I suggested.

He scoffed. “It'd take a hell of a lot of beer to loosen me up.”

“I'm up for the challenge.”

“You want to take advantage of me when I'm about to pass out?” Aiden replied.

“Maybe.” I smiled and stepped closer to him.

“Jesus
Christ,
Drew.” He stepped back. “Stop this.”