Beyond Eighteen (2 page)

In that moment, it was just Max and me.
Everyone else became nothing more than solid pieces of furniture
holding space in the room, until I heard Joanie whispering, telling
me to breathe.

“Max…” my voice cracked. “You’re h—ere…” I
choked on my words before I took a step down.

“Yeah,” he whispered. The radiance from the
huge crystal chandelier caught the flicker of the tears that began
to cluster in his eyes.

I pushed my hands up to my cheeks, trying to
dry them so the chill that kept rippling across my face wouldn’t be
so harsh.
God, I want to run to him. I crave to feel his touch.
I just want him to hold me and tell me everything is going to be
okay. But what if he doesn’t want me any more? What if he’s here to
tell me that he’s over me?
I looked over at Joanie, hoping she
would convince me to keep walking down the stairs to Max.

“Go,” she prodded.

I took another step. My legs felt like
rubber.

“I’m so sorry—” I struggled to say. He moved
closer to the bottom of the stairs and held his hand up to stop me.
I froze. As I looked at him his hair fell, blanketing his face. He
looked down at the floor. The small space between us felt like a
million miles. He shook his head. His shiny, black hair tumbled
before he dragged his hands through it, clearing it from his face
as he looked up at me.

“Did you mean what you said?” he asked, his
beautiful lips shaping the words that poured from his heart. “What
you told Cindy?”

There was a moment of complete silence that
grew between us before I answered.

“Every word.” I took another step down.

He stepped up on the first step. “You are
totally and completely in love with me?”

“Totally and completely,” I whispered. I
felt my butterflies return to life as he took another step up.

“Well, you’re wrong,” he choked.

I gasped at his words. It felt like someone
punched me in the gut.
What is he saying? Is this some twisted
payback for my huge mistake?

“I…don’t underst—” I said.

“You didn’t ruin your life,” he interrupted
and took another step up.

“I really…hurt you,” I mumbled.

“I’m not going to lie, Wilson…you broke my
heart.” He took another step up.

Now he was only a few steps away. I still
towered over him; and yet, I felt as small as the eight-year-old
girl who was left on the porch a decade ago. My heart clung to the
back of my throat, my lips tingled with the fear of never kissing
him ever again, and my hands were drenched with the anticipation of
wanting to touch him one last time.

~ Max ~

I was standing so close I
could just reach out and grab her. Press her against my chest so
hard she’d melt into me. When I saw her on the stairs I couldn’t
keep my heart from thundering in my chest, my body surging with
need for her; I had to stop myself from collapsing at her
feet.
I love her, and when I look at her,
I see everything I’ve ever wanted—everything.

Wilson swayed forward and took another step.
Her sweet aroma wafted down through me.

“
I wish I could take back
everything. God, I wish I never hurt you, Max,” she said, her eyes
damp with regret.

Her blonde hair curved around her face with
stray pieces clinging to her tear-drenched cheeks and the edges of
her lips. I wanted to press my fingertips to her face and clear the
pain away. But I didn’t. Instead I told her how I felt.

“
You’re wrong about one
thing. I could never stop…loving…you, Wilson.” I climbed the few
remaining stairs that were between us.

I was so close to her I could feel her
warmth roll across my skin. I watched her eyes well with tears and
her chin quiver as she tried to stay strong.

“
Really?” The word broke
and cracked coming out of her mouth.

As our eyes danced, a sorrow grew in her
gaze. I pushed the backs of my fingers against her face, clearing
away her damp hair, before I pressed my palms to her cheeks. She
was shaking.

I leaned into her, pausing only long enough
to answer her.

“
Really,” I whispered,
tickling her lips before I pressed my mouth against hers. I kissed
her softly at first, trying to see if I was going to taste regret.
I didn’t. Pulling her tight against my chest, I ran my hands up
against her back and stopped at her shoulder blades. She was
cautious at first, but once I pushed past any fear of tasting her,
our tongues tangled and exploded into a familiarity that my body
knew so well. She was so warm—so damaged. Truth was I could stand
there all day wishing away all that had happened between us, but
the fact still remained: she found comfort in someone else when she
was hurting. And I will never let that happen again.

“
I love you,” she moaned
as I pulled away from our kiss. Her eyes were still closed in the
moment of indescribable relief.

I waited for her to come back.

“
I’m sorry I let you go,”
I said. “Promise me something.”

“
Okay,” she breathed
deeply.

“
Promise me you’ll never
kiss another guy…who isn’t me.” I felt the words vibrate in my
chest as I said them.

She nodded, her expression bent to anguish
as she broke down and sobbed. I held her, kissing the salty tears
from her cheeks. I couldn’t get enough of her.

Yeah, I was still raw from the fact that
she’d made a bad decision and kissed Nick. But she’d lived a lot of
broken moments in her life. She’d never had something this intense
before. I couldn’t erase the fact that she loved me enough to let
me be her first.

“
Oh my God. Really?
You’re
really
going to forgive her that easily? Come on, Max, she made out
with my brother. They were frickin’ grinding against each other
when I walked in! I suppose you’d have forgiven her if she slept
with him too?” Cindy groused from the top of the stairs. She
twisted her body and thrust her hip up dramatically.

“
Are you for real? I can’t
believe you just said that,” Joanie hollered at Cindy.

“
It isn’t like I called
her a slut, Joanie. I am just calling her out on her shit,” Cindy
snapped back.

Joanie started up the stairs but I caught
her arm and stopped her. The last thing anyone needed was more
problems with Cindy.

Actually, I was caught off guard by Joanie’s
intensity. She wasn’t the type to settle anything with violence.
Whenever she was hanging out with Wilson and me, she always came
across so docile and gentle.

“
Joanie, let me handle
this,” I demanded before she looked at me. “I don’t need you in the
middle of this mess too,” I whispered, making eye contact so she
knew I trusted her abilities to protect Wilson.

Joanie nodded as Wilson pushed past me and
stood on the step above her.

“
J, Max is right. You
don’t want to be involved in this,” Wilson asserted.

“
This isn’t over, Cindy,”
Joanie hollered back up to her.

“
Oh that’s right,
Joanie—this is far from being over,” Cindy yelled as she turned
around and went into her bedroom, slamming the door.

The only thing I wanted to do was make sure
Wilson and Joanie got out of the Browlers’ cabin. Good or bad, it
seemed to be the perfect opportunity to get Wilson to come home
with me.

“
I want you both to get
your things and meet me at the car.”

Joanie nodded while Wilson tried to say
something. I leaned down close to her and stopped her from
talking.

“
I’m not asking,” I
whispered as I pulled away, my eyes locked on her so she knew it
wasn’t negotiable.

I ran upstairs and stood in front of Cindy’s
bedroom door. I took a deep breath, hoping the oxygen would slow my
heart rate. I felt the familiar need to protect Wilson swell in my
body. Come hell or high water, I wasn’t about to let Cindy destroy
what I was just getting back.

I didn’t knock, didn’t make a sound as I
went in and shut the door behind me.

I stood there for a moment watching Cindy
stretched across her bed, lying on her stomach…crying. Every moment
of wanting to rip her head off and tear her to shreds vanished.

What the hell is this? I
don’t get it. She’s always so vindictive, and manipulative.
I didn’t expect to see her crying when I came in.
She either sensed someone was in the room or heard the floorboards
squeak because, as I took a step toward her, she vaulted up off the
bed and startled me.

“
What are you doing here?”
she sneered. She ran her fingers under her eyes and down her
cheeks, trying to dry any evidence that she wasn’t the bitch
everyone thought she was.

“
I…uhh…” I struggled to
answer her.

“
What, can’t find the
words?”

I took a breath and pushed the hair back off
my forehead, trying to settle my mind. I knew exactly what words I
wanted to say. This was my opportunity to tell her to leave Wilson
alone; but they seemed to disappear because of her demeanor.

“
Why are you crying?” I
couldn’t help asking.

“
I’m not crying. And if I
was, it sure isn’t because of
them
,” she snapped as she pointed to
her bedroom door. Her eyes started to fill with tears again as she
plopped down on her bed.

I stood frozen as I instantly found myself
feeling sorry for her. There was something really lonely about her,
something I’d never seen before.

“
I don’t know what caused
you to hate Wilson or Joanie as much as you do…” I
started.

“
Puh-leeze, Max. I figure
you won’t mind me calling you Max now that you’ve decided to quit
Wesley,” she said with a quick, smarmy grin before her smile
disappeared. She continued, “I don’t hate them. It just gets
so
exhausting to always
be the one in control. I don’t have time to keep everything
straight. I discovered a long time ago where to catalogue people
like Wilson and Joanie. They are always having a dilemma or
something that they decide to drag me down into. And, I’m sorry to
say, the
Max and Wilson dilemma
is at the top of my list!” She pressed her lips
together tight and wiped her nose with the back of her
hand.

“
Well, then, you can
appreciate what I need to tell you. I understand that you’re
frustrated and hurt,” I said, making eye contact.

“
Whoa, Max, I’m not hurt!”
Cindy snapped. Her face twisted to disgust.

Shit, I just want to grab her by the nape of
her neck and shake her until that smirk disappears from her
face.

“
Whatever, Cindy, I just
need you to understand the situation. Wilson’s
very
important to me and I won’t let
anything or anyone come between her and her happiness. Nobody. Do
you understand?” I said low and deliberately slow. I made sure she
heard every inflection of my voice.

“
I get it. You don’t have
to tell me twice. Wilson is your little project girl.”

“
Project girl?”

“
Come on, Max. I know what
you have going on with her. I wasn’t born yesterday. I see guys
like you all the time up here. She’ll be fun and entertaining until
you get bored. Then everything will change when she doesn’t fit
into the social stratum of your family,” Cindy said confidently,
like she had my relationship with Wilson all figured
out.

“
You couldn’t be further
from the truth,” I steamed.

“
Wilson comes from a place
you or I will never understand. It’s just the facts. She comes from
a broken, needy family. Max, she will never fully understand the
pressures you and I are constantly under,” Cindy said as she stood
up and wrapped her arms around my neck. Her eyes, vindictive as
ever, searched for mine as her lower lip drooped into a pout. I
could feel her fingers begin to twist and tangle in the back of my
hair and she pressed her breasts against my chest.

Is she fucking serious?
What the hell is she thinking? Does she even hear the crazy shit
she’s saying? How am I going to respond to her? Should I even
respond? No, it isn’t even worth wasting my breath.
I stretched my hands up behind my head and
loosened her grip from around my neck. Her expression, convincing
at first, changed to defeat as I dropped her hands, turned around,
and walked out. She made me feel sick; actually, worse than that, I
pitied her.

“
Where are you going?
You’re really going to keep up this
fling
you have with Wilson? You know
it won’t last, she will never fit into your world,” she
hollered.

I didn’t even look back. There was no way I
was going to waste another minute engaging her any more than I
already had. And to think I’d actually felt sorry for her.

~ Wilson ~

“I’m so scared, J. I don’t know if we’re
doing the right thing,” I whispered as I pulled the zipper on my
suitcase. I still couldn’t help thinking about how I’d left Max
broken at his house, devastated by his dad’s death and now my
stupid mistake of kissing Nick.

“Wilson, Max loves you. You’re doing the
right thing,” Joanie said in a low breath as she threw her round
brush and makeup bag into her suitcase.

“I mean, I love him so much. But what if he
can’t forgive me for what I did?”