Before Sunrise (58 page)

Liam’s attention switched once again from
the television screen to the photographic evidence of Kennedy’s
life for the past five years. Pictures of the Freeman family
crowded the bookshelves and were arranged carefully on the walls of
the den. Phil’s snarky smile and mocking eyes watched over him as
he sat in the one chair he recognized, the one he and Kennedy had
bought together for their first real apartment. Even so, he was
watching Phil’s blaring widescreen TV. Probably drinking from
Phil’s favorite mug.

“
Touchdown!” Andrew
yelled.

Eric began to groan. Both men started
arguing again over the quarterback: one man believed him the gift
to college football, while the other felt he lacked a good throwing
arm. Liam tried to settle into the game, to follow the players or
even join in the ribbing. But he was lost. He didn’t know shit
about the teams now. He felt uncomfortable pretending he did.

The truth was, he didn’t need to.

There was something else gnawing at him. The
phantom car chase he’d been in last night. Had he really seen the
car? Did he chase something in his head? He itched to unload with
his boy. But a sour dread stifled his courage. He still remembered
the questioning look Vasquez gave him after the incident at Fun
World. Eric had believed him, or said he did. But what if he’d been
wrong? He shifted down in the chair and settled into his
misery.

The ladies were in the kitchen, preparing
the rest of Christmas Eve dinner. He could hear laughter, then
Mackenzie crying over something she was denied. Every now and then,
his mother would peek in at him. He hated the way she kept her eyes
trained on him, as if he needed to be watched, or worse, protected.
But he didn’t say so. He just clenched his fist and gave her what
he hoped were reassuring smiles.

From out of nowhere Mackenzie ran into the
den. Her mother had changed her into a jean skirt with a red and
green long-sleeved shirt. She stopped between his legs, hopping up
and down with her hands to his knees.

“
Daddy, wanna come play with
me?”

“
Play, huh?”

“
Sure, I got lots of stuff
we can do. Mama said to come ask you. She won’t let me cook.”
Mackenzie poked out her bottom lip.

Kennedy had managed to know his needs before
he did. Playing with Mackenzie was exactly what the doctor ordered.
“Can you help daddy up?” he asked.

“
Un huh.” She took his hand
and pulled with all her might. Liam managed to rise. Eric and
Andrew kept arguing over the game, barely noticing him as he left.
He let his daughter guide him back through the house. He glanced
over to the kitchen. He could see Kennedy arguing with her mother
as Sally looked on. The women spoke in hushed tones, but Kennedy
seemed the most agitated. Gail stood solid, with her arms crossed.
When he passed, Kennedy looked over and so did Gail and Sally. She
tried to smile away the meaning of the scene, but he just turned
away. It was evident things between him and Gail hadn’t
changed.

“
I got a new puzzle. See?”
Mackenzie said.

Liam was led to Phil’s Christmas tree. He
stared at it for a moment. Again despite logic and reason, his
chest tightened with envy. Even the damn tree looked better than
the oversized one he and his had daughter decorated.

“
Hi, Mac. Can I help too?”
Harper asked.

Liam met Harper’s eyes as he lowered to the
floor. She asked the question of Mackenzie but stared directly at
him, as if she wanted his permission.

“
Sure, you can help.”
Mackenzie shrugged. “I want daddy to fix the puzzle. You can hold
the box. Here.” Mackenzie shoved the box at Harper.

Harper smiled. Liam did so as well. She
dropped down next to Mackenzie, placing the box of puzzle pieces in
her lap. His daughter was quite the drill sergeant. She barked off
orders to him about the Barbie puzzle and how best to find the
right pieces. Then passed him two that obviously didn’t match. When
his kid sister was alive, he couldn’t afford the toys he thought
she deserved. The best he could get for her, after stealing a few
dollars from his mother’s purse, were puzzles and coloring books.
He watched his daughter’s mannerisms, and saw the spark of
excitement light her face when he put a few of the pieces together.
He could see his sister’s spirit in Mackenzie. He marveled at this
little girl made from love.

“
So um, how you doing,
Liam?” Harper asked.

“
My daddy is fine.”
Mackenzie answered for him. “Here daddy, try this one.”

Liam winked at Harper.

“
Be right back, daddy, I
think I got a extra piece in my room.” Mackenzie shot up and bolted
for the stairs. Harper nervously cleared her throat. She lifted her
gaze to him and he met her stare dead on.

“
I guess, well maybe we
should talk, about things,” Harper offered.

“
I am sorry, for everything.
I never meant to hurt you, Eric…I was wrong to do what I
did,”

Liam said. Mackenzie came running back over
waving a puzzle piece. He helped her set down a pink square and
avoided his sister in-law’s piercing stare when he spoke. He’d been
a jackass for not calling her and apologizing sooner. Liam cleared
his throat after discovering Harper continued to focus solely on
him. “Am I forgiven?” He peeked up at her, and caught the slight
twitch at the corner of her mouth as she suppressed a smile. “You
know I’ve missed you too, squirrel.”

Harper laughed softly at the mention of her
pet name. Mackenzie laughed, too. “That’s funny, daddy. Auntie
ain’t a squirrel.”

Liam reached over and tickled his daughter’s
side. “When she was your age, she was a squirrel. She could climb
trees, move so fast, and, oh, she loved nuts.”

“
Really?”

Harper nodded. “Yep, I sure did. And trees,
I could climb the tallest. Your daddy could never catch me.”

“
Oh, that’s so funny.”
Mackenzie grinned.

There were several scattered pieces before
his little girl. Liam helped arrange them, trying to help her make
the right choices, and he smiled when Mackenzie forced the wrong
ones to fit.

“
Liam?” Harper
said.

“
Hmm?”

“
Of course I forgive you. I
um, understand. I missed you so much over the years. So very much.
I love you.”

He glanced up. His heart swelled and he
couldn’t help but grin at Harper. She leaned in and kissed his jaw
and he felt his face flame with a blush.

“
Give me a kiss too, daddy.”
Mackenzie puckered up.

He leaned over and kissed her.

Mackenzie shot Harper a triumphant
smirk.

Liam and Harper laughed to themselves and
focused on the puzzle with Mackenzie. After a few seconds, Harper
spoke up again. “Thing is, um, about Eric…”

“
What about him?” Liam
passed another rectangular piece to Mackenzie and pointed to where
she should place it.

“
Eric thinks he’s too old
for me.”

“
I agree.”

“
I don’t,” Harper said
firmly.

Liam met Harper’s stare, her face so much
like Kennedy’s. She lowered them shyly when he narrowed his eyes on
her. “What I mean is, um, when you love someone, age shouldn’t
matter. You should know that more than anyone, Liam. He’s
struggling with his feelings for me and I think that’s because of
your friendship. It’s not fair. I accepted you and Kennedy from day
one. How can you not accept us?”

“
Daddy! That doesn’t fit!”
Mackenzie groaned. She dug into the box on Harper’s lap and forced
more pieces on him.

Liam tried to summon the correct words and
failed. The idea of Eric and Harper made him sick. He was beginning
to understand why. In some perverse way, the whole thing would be
his fault. He’d worked hard to win over Harper’s love and
affection. She had been just a kid, and impressionable. He’d done
his level best to convince her that his desires for her sister were
normal, maybe even chivalrous. She probably spent years imagining a
relationship with an older man. How could he not feel guilt over
that? He had to protect her, even from herself.

“
Liam, I love
him.”

“
Let’s not talk about it,”
he rasped.

“
I want you to be okay with
us, because—”

“
Us?” he snapped. “There’s
no ‘us’! It’s over!”

Mackenzie gasped. Harper glared at him for a
moment with such disappointment and hurt it burned. Liam tried to
smile at the girls. But the mere act made his face feel tight and
his jaw twitch.

“
What’s wrong, daddy?”
Mackenzie asked, her eyes pooling with tears.

“
Nothing. I’m sorry, kiddo.”
He looked to Harper. “Let’s not talk about it now.
Okay?”

“
Right, because everything
has to be done your way.”

Harper dropped the box and rose from the
floor. She hovered over them as if she would say something else but
possibly thought better of it because of Mackenzie. She stomped
off. Kennedy appeared. She looked after her sister, then to Liam
for an explanation. Mackenzie rose and rushed her mother’s legs,
whining that her father was mad—again.

Liam couldn’t win. “I think I’m going to go
for a drive,” he said, struggling to rise from the floor.

“
No, don’t go. I’ll join you
with daddy and Eric in the den. Don’t you want to watch the
game?”

Liam ignored her. If he didn’t get out of
Phil’s house he was sure to fuck up. “I won’t be long.”

“
Don’t go,” Kennedy said.
She blocked him in.

“
I have to. I need a minute.
I’ll come back. I swear.”

“
Don’t go, daddy.” Mackenzie
said softly. “I’ll be good. You can do the puzzle yourself. I don’t
mind.”

“
No, no, no, squirt, don’t
be upset. You didn’t do anything wrong. I love the puzzle, just
like I love you.” He smiled and kissed her cheek. “You girls enjoy
the family time. Give me a chance to clear my head. I’m
fine.”

“
Wait. Please.” Kennedy
pressed her hand to his chest. “Can you take Eric with you? I don’t
want you driving around alone on Christmas Eve. The roads are bad.
Do it for me? Please.”

He was hurting her, he was hurting his kid,
and he wished he wasn’t. Kennedy put her hand around his neck and
drew his face to hers. She kissed him. “I understand, I do, but we
need you. So take Eric and come back. Okay? Just a quick drive
before dinner, then I’ll go home with you. I’ll stay with you all
night, wake up Christmas morning with you. Deal?”

He didn’t want to agree, but he had little
choice. He looked into Mackenzie’s eyes and knew it. “I love you
both. I’m sorry I’m so raggedy with this. I’m trying, Kay.”

“
Don’t explain. I
understand.”

“
Eric!” Liam called, walking
to the door. “Let’s go, brother.”

He made it to the door without Kennedy
stopping him. And though he knew she would have to answer questions
about his leaving to their parents, he didn’t care. Space was the
only defense he had now. The only way he was sure he could protect
her and Mackenzie—from him.

“
I want to talk to you.”
Kennedy slammed the door.

Harper turned the page of her magazine. She
was propped against the pillows on Kennedy’s bed with her shoes off
and ankles crossed.

“
Now, Harper.”

“
What is it?”

Kennedy marched over and snatched the
magazine from her sister’s hand. She tossed it to the other side of
the room. “Explain that scene you caused with Liam downstairs?”

“
Me? He was the one
yelling.”

“
He left. What did you say
to him?”

Harper turned toward the window. “Did Eric
leave too?”

“
What did you say, damn
it?”

“
Nothing!” Her sister
shouted back. “I just tried to talk to him. Explain things. I
didn’t mean to make him leave. Geesh, I came upstairs so I wouldn’t
make him upset.”

“
What things?”

“
Stop yelling at
me.”

“
You answer me now,” Kennedy
said.

“
I wanted to talk to him
about Eric. I asked him to give us a chance. “

“
Damn it.” Kennedy walked
away from the bed. She crossed her arms in front of her. Harper
wasn’t the real issue. She felt it the moment they entered the
door. Liam was miserable.

“
I’m sorry. I only wanted to
smooth things over with him. Eric said he would fix things, but
since he’s been here he hasn’t spoken more than two words to me. He
avoids me around the family. Then touches me when we’re alone. I
don’t want it to be that way. Why can’t you and Liam
understand?”

“
No one cares!” Kennedy
yelled. “This isn’t about you. I swear I wish you and mama would
just stop thinking about yourselves for one second and see what
he’s been through. This is his first Christmas home. He’s trying to
adjust and you two keep acting like he owes you something.” Kennedy
closed her eyes. “I should have called the whole thing off, took my
baby and spent Christmas with him alone. I just, I thought we could
heal together as a family. Stupid me. Nothing I do or say can make
him whole again.”

“
Kennedy, it’s not your job
to fix him. We fight, that’s what a family does. I’m sorry for the
drama. I love Liam. You know I do. I just want his approval. Look,
I apologize.” Harper crossed the room, she threw her arms around
Kennedy and tried to hug her, but she shrugged her off.