Beautiful Strangers (15 page)

  
Things need to change and I am
the only one who can make it happen. I get back in my car after my walk on the
bridge and my phone beeps. Jax’s picture flashes across the screen of him
shirtless with his guitar. I hit ignore I am not ready to speak to him just
yet. I will see if he leaves a message and go from there.

  
No message, I treat myself to
lunch and a new pair of Jimmy’s. I am trying like hell not to give in and call
Jax back. I said I would let him go. I need to be strong.
 
The hurt and anger is sitting on my chest.
Just one pill and I will be okay. I take a nerve pill to dull the ache. I make
it home to find a vanilla envelope just under the edge of my door.

  
There isn’t a name or even an
address. I lay it on the counter and grab a beer from my fridge. There is a
light tap against my door. I open the door to find Jax standing on the other
side.

   
“Can we talk?”

   
“Sure come on in.”

   
“Gracie I am so fucking sorry
for how I reacted the other day. I have played it over in my head at least a
million times. I want to be the one to help you through this.”

   
“What do you want from me Jax?
I’m not some song you can rewrite. I’m broken, I have real problems. I have to
be the one to fix them. I can’t ask this of you.”

   
“You’re not asking. I am giving
it to you! I want to be the man you need, not Evan. I want you to pick me. Give
me the chance to prove that I can be what you need. Choose me.”

   
“I don’t know what to say to
you right now!” I take hard drink from my longneck and try not to get choked.

  
“Say you won’t ever see him
again and that you are ready to allow me in.” He takes my beer from me and
takes a swig as well.

  
“Is that what this is about?
Some sort of pissing contest to be the better man?”

  
“This isn’t how I pictured this
going Grace. I thought you would be happy to see me. But I--I haven’t been
honest with you either. Sadie and I, well she is my wife. I have been trying to
get a divorce from her but she refuses to sign the papers. I know I should have
told you but we were married in secret and I always wanted it to stay that
way.”
 
Jax excuses himself to the
bathroom. I think he is really just trying to escape my icy glare.

  
I pick up the mysterious
envelope. I don’t know if it is the nerve pill or if I really am just numb to
all he just said. But I want to do anything but think about my feelings for him
right now. I dump the contents of the envelope onto the counter.

  
“Son of a
bitch!”
I clamp my hand over my mouth. I am going to be sick. There are
at least ten or more photos of Jax and another woman engaged in sex. And it’s
not just any woman; it’s my best friend Jojo.

Falling to pieces….

   
I descend slowly to the kitchen
floor with the pictures in my grip. The tears won’t stop rolling down my face.
I am about to break. I can’t take this. He has the nerve to show up right after
these are left on my doorstep. Is this some sort of cruel joke? Life is
laughing at me. And then he speaks.

  
“Grace, are you alright? Where
are you?”

  
I shakily pick myself up from
the floor. I throw the pictures across the counter that separates my kitchen
and living room and into his face.

  
“Get the FUCK out now!” I grab
my longneck bottle from the counter and break it against the wall beside of
where he is standing with a look of confusion on his face.

  
“Let me explain.”
 
I don’t give him the chance to say more as I
start pounding my fist against his chest.

  
“Fuck you!
Jax,
just leave.
Get out!” I plead.

 
He cradles my head against his
chest as I cry. I take a step back away from him. My vision is blurred my
mascara is stinging my eyes. He doesn’t get to comfort me, not now.

 
“Where did you get these Grace?”

 
“The pictures are they real?”

  
“Yes.”

 
 
“Then there is nothing left to say. We’re finished Jax.”

  
I can’t wrap my mind around what
just happened. Jojo has a hell of a lot of explaining to do. I don’t want to
feel this hurt. I can’t do this. I feel like he just pulled my heart from my
chest and sliced into a thousand pieces. I take two more nerve pills and call
my so called best friend. She won’t answer the phone.

  
Fuck it!

  
 
If she won’t answer me then I will go to her.
I leave her a voicemail. “I know about you and him.” I can’t even say his name.
“I need answers and you’re going to giver them to me, see you in a few.”

  
Maybe I should have taken the
turn in the weather as a sign to stay home. The sky has darkened over and the
rain is beginning to pour as I stick my keys in the ignition. The car roars to
life and I start speeding towards the freeway.

   
I can’t get the images those
photos held out of my mind. My tears are falling fast. I think they are in a
race with the raindrops to see who can fall faster. I’m not sure which is
blurring my vision more.

  
I get stuck in rush hour
traffic. I sit watching the lighting dance across the sky as the minutes pass
by. Traffics starts to slowly move again and the last thing I remember before
everything turns black is the screeching of tires and the shattering of glass.

I must be dreaming….

   
I can hear a voice pleading
with me in agony to wake up. I can’t see his face but I would know his voice
anywhere. I want to reach out and touch his face, but my arms won’t work. I
can’t seem to make my fingers reach up and stroke his gorgeous dimples. I ache
to see those hazel eyes that have brought me so much pleasure and pain.

   
I feel like I am fading as his
voice is drifting further away. Evan don’t leave me here, I’m scared. I try to
part my lips to say the words but they don’t budge. What is wrong with me? I
must be dreaming. I will myself to fall back asleep so I can awake from this
nightmare.

  
I hear another voice in my head;
it is a woman, a voice I don’t recognize.

  
Oh shit! Stop!

  
It hurts; she just pricked my
arm with something. Was that a needle? I still can’t see. My thoughts feel
fuzzy and I fade away once more.

   
I feel drained but I manage to
open my eyes. I have to blink a few times to get them to focus. I am in a room
with dingy white walls. There seems to be an IV in my arm and tubes in my nose.
What am I doing in the hospital? My arms feel like lead as I try to flex my
fingers.

   
I glance to my left and take a
glimpse out the window and notice it is just before dawn, I can see shades of
pink and yellow peeking through the horizon. The first thing I see when I
glance to the right is those dimples smiling at me.

  
“Damn, angel you gave me the
scare of my life. I have to go get your nurse, try to stay alert babe.”

    
It is very hard to concentrate
on the questions the nurse is asking me. She gives me a small cup of water and
tells me my doctor would be in soon to talk to me. Apparently Evan is still
listed as my emergency contact from when I was here before for stitches when I
cut myself cooking over a year ago.

   
The nurse leaves us alone. Evan
explains to me that I was rear ended by a delivery van. The driver of the van
suffered from an aneurism causing him to hit me. He died in route to the
hospital. My car is a complete loss but at least I walked away alive.

   
“Jojo has been calling, she
wants to see you.”

  
Then the hurt and anger comes
back to me in roaring waves and I remember where I was going and why. Evan is
watching me with caution.

  
“Are you okay?”

  
“Do I look okay?” I wave my hand
in a sweeping motion over myself.

  
“That’s not what I was talking
about,” and he points to my temple.

  
“So you know?”

  
“Yea Jocelyn was the last call
you made on your cell, so I called her. She gave me a brief explanation.”

  
“What exactly did she tell you?”

   
Before Evan can answer my
doctor comes into the room and asks Evan to give us a few minutes. Evan says he
has to work but to call him if I need him. I am nervous the doctor is staring
at me with a grave expression.

 
 
“Good morning Grace. My name is Dr. Fields. I am pleased to see that you
are awake. You are quite lucky.
 
You have
suffered a mild concussion, along with a cracked rib and a small cut above your
eye, you should be fine.”

  
He takes out an ink pen and begins
to scribble a few notes before continuing.

  
“Do you have a prescription for
Xanax?”

   
I shake my head yes. It was
prescribed to me for anxiety when my father passed away.

  
“Do you have a prescription for
Adipex? There was a high trace found in your tox screening.”

  
I shake my head no, my cheeks
are burning. I am so embarrassed.

  
“Do I need to tell you how
serious abusing prescription medication is? I want to recommend something to
you, there is help available should you want it. I am going to give you the
card of a good friend of mine. She works at a center that specializes in cases
like yours. You were very lucky yesterday, and you are a beautiful young woman
don’t waste it.”

   
Dr. Fields gives me my
discharge papers and while I am debating on calling a cab to take me home.
Jocelyn enters the room.

  
“Can I give you a lift? We can
talk. I owe you an explanation.”

   
As much as I hate the sight of
her right now, I am ready to go home. And I want some fucking answers! I text
Evan and let him know that I have been released. The police had given him my
purse when he arrived at the hospital last night thankfully he left it with the
nurse before leaving.

  
We ride in an awkward silence
for a few miles, and I can’t hold it all in any longer.

 
 
“Why? How, Jojo?”

  
“There is so much I need to
explain Gracie, I- I’m not sure where to start.”

  
“Just give it to me straight.”

  
“Look I have told you so many
lies and I am really sorry, I should have told you from day one but Jaxson
asked me not to. I met him before you started working at Masquerade. I think
you may have even been living with Evan still. He came into the club a few
times and at first I didn’t recognize him.”

   
She twirls her hair around her
finger like she always does when she is nervous. I just listen, when she is
finished I will have my say.

  
“It started just as casual sex,
no strings attached. I thought I could handle it. He said that I couldn’t tell
anyone so I created the whole relationship with Robert Drake. I haven’t ever
even met him.”

  
I feel like she just completely
gutted me, we were best friends how could she not be honest with me?

  
“It was exciting and fun for
awhile but I started to want more, but then he told me he was married and he
broke things off with me.”

   
“The night you came over crying
and we went to that club. You knew who he was when you saw us together and you
didn’t say anything. Why?”

  
“I didn’t want to cause a scene,
and I was confused. I thought maybe he was trying to prove a point. Jaxson likes
to play mind games. You don’t know him like I do Grace.”

  
I notice her fidgeting with
something around her neck, a guitar pendant that matches mine. I yank mine from
my neck and throw it out the window.

  
“Then he hired you for his video
and I wanted that for you, I didn’t want to ruin it for you. I told him I was
going to tell you, but he said he would dump you after the video. So I kept my
mouth shut and waited for things to end between you.”

   
“So that explains why you were
pushing me back towards Evan. If you would have just told me, I would have
never pursued him Jo. I thought we were friends, but I guess I thought a lot of
things.”

  
She pulls into my parking space
at my apartment. I don’t want to hear anymore. I am done with all of these fucking
liars! I start to get out, but I need to know one more thing.

   
“The photos did you send them
to me?”

  
She can’t look at me as she
hoarsely whispers, “yes.”

  
“Thanks for the ride.” I slam
the door and walk away from this life, from everything I thought I knew.

Stick a fork in me….

    
I don’t know what I am doing
anymore, but whatever this is I don’t like it. How did everything turn to shit
so fast? I don’t know who I am anymore and this feeling scares me. Evan has
been a true champ; he has taken care of me these past few days. It almost feels
like old times minus the drugs.