Beautiful Monster 2 (21 page)

“Maybe you’ll be a good introduction to this wacky world,” I replied
.

She shrugged.
“When he’s ready, Amy. Now, is there anything you want to ask me?”

Questions and comments slammed into each other. I completely forgot that Sarah was there at all. She had remained completely quiet the whole time,
playing on her phone and giving me the space I needed to be with my mother.

I must have asked her everything I had ever wanted, and still had burning thoughts in my mind. I felt like
I had regressed to a four year old, curious about everything. And she told me everything I wanted to know: about love, about life, about how to deal with the disease when it got bad. She understood exactly how I was feeling, and told me what helped to motivate her onwards. But when it came to the topic of Liam specifically, I clammed up.

“I just don’t know where we are. I’m pretty sure we are over, that’s for sure.”

“Nothing in life is certain, Amy,” she replied. “I learned that early one. And I went through the same thing with your father?”

“You did?” That dropped my jaw.

I always had it in my head that Mom and Dad were this perfect love story in a perfect world. She had even told me about their first date, about their wedding, everything. It had never occurred to me that they went through relationship problems.

“Of course. We were so young, Amy, not that much older than you are. He was just starting
chef school, and I was working in the local store, nothing glamorous. But it was my first job, and everything was new and exciting to me, I had just moved into my first apartment, and I was newly independent. The only thing old and not necessarily exciting in my life was your father. I loved him, Amy, I did, but I was young and blinded by the difference of the situation. And there was a cute manager at work too.” She winked at me and my mind flashed to Drago. I wasn’t in love with him, or anything close to it, but my friendship with him lately had grown, especially in the hours he spent listening to me rant about Liam and whatever situation had angered me that day. Spending time with him was exactly as she put it, new and exciting. Liam wasn’t old and boring, but I was used to him; I had taken him for granted.

“So what did you do?” I asked.

“We went out on a date.”

This confu
sed me and I furrowed my brow. “But hadn’t you already been out on several dates?”

“Sure. But not in
a while. Things had become routine, easy. And remember?”

“Nothing in life
is easy,” I repeated her advice.

She nodded.
“That’s right. So things had become routine, he’d come over, we’d have dinner, sometimes he would stay, sometimes he would leave. And we got into a rut and got into a fight and we broke up. And then, one day, we agreed to ‘talk.’ We went out on a proper date, got dressed up for each other, he brought me flowers. At first, it had seemed silly. We had been going out for 3 years. But as we sat across the table from each other, over a candlelit dinner, and talked, really talked, and held hands as we walked down the street, I began to fall back in love with him.”

I tu
rned this idea over in my mind. “I’m not sure that I’m still in love with Liam, Mom. I just don’t know what to do anymore, and I’m not sure what will fix it.”

“Well, it’s worth trying,” she said. “Trust me, you might be surprised.”

I heard noises at the far end of the theater, and I was shocked to realize it was 9:30. Classes were already starting, and Sarah was looking antsy.

“Can I come back to talk later?” I asked
.

She nodded.
“Of course, my love.”

I turned to
Sarah. “Thank you.”

As we stood up,
she grinned at me.

“Well, that should make you less bitchy for the next few days,” she replied. “Say goodbye to your mom and we’ll come back later.”

“Ok.” I gave her a giant hug and it wasn’t enough to last me even two seconds apart from her, but it would have to do. “I’ll see you soon, alright?”

She kissed me on the forehead.

Then I turned and before I could stop myself, I headed down the steps and out of the wings. Sarah followed close on my heels and I grabbed her hand.

“Thank you so much,” I said
again. I wiped my eyes, fresh tears coming to them. “I’ve been so horrible to you and Liam and you did that for me.”

“It was actually his idea
.” She grinned at me. “You totally should thank him. 150 times over, ok?”

“We’ll see about that
.” I gave her a hip bump as we headed to class.

I haven’t been to class in
a while, but I didn’t feel that panic that I had before. Somehow I knew that everything was going to be alright now, no matter what path I chose. And the path I was looking at was a lot brighter than the darkness behind me. Mothers really do fix everything.

I slapped aftershave on my face and ran a hand through my hair one more time. It was the middle of the day, so it felt silly to be this dressed up, but it’s not like we could go out at night. When Sarah had told me about Amy’s mother’s suggestion, I imagined my expression was the same as Amy’s had been. I didn’t think anything would save us, especially after our last big blow up. But I was lonely, I was miserable and I knew that sitting around upending a bottle of bourbon wasn’t going to do any good either. Besides, the worst that could happen would be that we’d end up with more awkward glares and angry glances than ever before. Or she would stake me in the back in the middle of the night.

Years ago, this would have given me no trouble. Dressing up and going out with women was second nature to me. Although I usually didn’t go out on formal dates with them. A pickup across the bar was enough for me for the night. But then, that was how I got mysel
f into this whole night crawler mess to begin with.

I had paged through my wardrobe like a teenage girl going to
her first boy band concert; and eventually chose dark pants and a dark shirt, open at the collar. With a bit of product in my hair, and freshly saved, I was surprised how much a difference it made in my appearance. Once upon a time, there had been a whole team of people whose job it was to make me look irresistible. Now, it was just up to me. Although I had to admit, I looked a damn sight better than when I was normally walking around the school, unshaven and in yesterday’s clothes.

I picked up a package I had sent my secretary out to get last night, and made my
way out of my condo, which I had taken pains to clean. Depending on how the day went, who knew where we would end up?

I drove on purpose, pulling down my sunglasses against the morning glare. I didn’t want this to end up as another bar date, stumbling out with blood turned to alcohol if it went badly. If I chose to drive, I knew I’d keep myself in check.

Amy was waiting outside the front doors, and my jaw almost dropped when I saw her. She was wearing a black jersey dress that fell loose and tight at just the right places. Amy had always been small, but she wasn’t without curves and long legs that seemed to go on for miles. She was wearing flats and she had her makeup lightly applied, so that her eyes shined in a way that they hadn’t in weeks. She had a small clutch purse in bright yellow that attracted my attention. She looked absolutely stunning with her hair loose and flowing around her face. I nearly drove into a post in my haste to park.

“Hey,” I called, trying to keep it casual.

She smirked. “You alright, Liam?”

“I’m fine
.” The gentleman in me forced me out of the car and had me holding the door for her, until she was safely inside and buckled up. “Oh. This is for you.”

She opened the corsage cautiously, and I saw a smile light up her face. It had been so long since I made her smile.

“Thank you, it’s really pretty,” she said, putting it on her wrist.

I slid into the driver’s side, and started the car.

“So, where are going?”

“There’s something I had in mind, but first, do you need anything? Breakfast? Coffee?”

“Coffee would be great,” she replied.

I mentally tried to calculate where the nearest coffee place
was. There was still an awkwardness between us that had never existed before, a silence that had once been comfortable and was now filled with words we didn’t know how to say. “Was your night alright?”

“It was fine,” I said, not wanting to tell her that everything was easier because I was thinking about today.

The transformation had not seemed as painful, the bloodlust not as bad, because I was distracted by plans of today. I remembered that clearly, from the year we were together. If I wanted to ease the pain, I simply had to think of being with Amy, and I would be able to get through it. Even better were the nights she came and sat with me, a cup of strong coffee in her hand and her homework in her lap. Those silences that passed in the dark of the night, broken by her typing and my happy sighs, were easy; peaceful. I barely felt pain or cravings those nights.

But since we had been apart, it was worse than ever.

“That’s good,” she replied and resumed looking out the window.

We didn’t say another word to each other until we had both gotten breakfast and were back on the highway. With each moment that passed, I was worried that we were drifting further apart from each other, and it wouldn’t be salvageable. Finally, she spoke and I breathed a sigh of relief.

“So, where are we going?”

I smiled.
“It’s a surprise,” I said, and then my head whipped to her, suddenly realizing that this could not be a good idea. “Is that ok? That it’s a surprise? I mean… it’s alright?”

“It’s fine
.” She shrugged and sipped her coffee.

“So um…
how was your night? Are you feeling ok? How are things, uh, going? You did great in rehearsal yesterday.”

In rehearsal, it was like we were two separate people, who didn’t know every intimate aspect of each other’s bodies. We spoke to each other when we needed to, and not a word more. There wasn’t even a flicker of recognition for the hours we spent lying in each other’s arms. We had taken a break before, when we first started dating, but this felt a hundred times worse than that. Before, there
were just a few months of history to forget. Now, there was over a year and everyone knew about it. Sometimes, I felt like the actors were more entertained by watching us ignore each other than actually rehearsing. Not to mention that actors were very sensitive to body language. They had to be in order to imitate things on stage. They must have known that something had changed, and it was bigger than just Amy and me. At the moment, the show was fast approaching. Selene’s ticket was bought and I knew she had a plan; she had to. And up until a little bit ago, we were prepared to handle it. But now I was considering offering myself as a sacrifice; it felt like everything was gone.

“It was fine,” she replied, breaking me out of my thoughts. “I’m feeling fine.”

“That’s good,” I muttered, cursing myself for sounding so mundane and repetitive.

We drove in silence for a
while, until I found the dirt road I remembered and turned down it. I slowed down, the car bumping over the gravel and Amy sipped her coffee quickly so it didn’t spill. She looked out the window with interest, as the city lines gave away to trees and a lake, but she didn’t say anything until we stopped.

I grabbed the bag in the back, and came around, trying to get to the door before she got out. She beat me to it, swinging her feet to the ground and shutting the door behind her, leaving me standing there awkwardly.

“So, what’s here? This is pretty.” She had clearly set her mind to having a good time, even if she wasn’t feeling it.

I indicated a path about 100
meters away from the car. “This way, m’lady,” I said and she smiled, following me down the trail. I slowed a bit to fall into step beside her.

“Do you think the chor
eography in scene 4 could stand another addition?” she asked, in the silence.

I tried to switch my brain to work mode.
“What do you mean?”

“There’
s a move that Porsche taught me that I’d love to put in there. Just a little four count.”

“Sure, that’d be great,” I answered. “The part is your own to twist and turn, make it what you can.”

“I just think it’ll add a little something. Did Sarah tell you about the sequel that Webber wrote, and what happens to Meg Giry?”

“She did
.” I nodded. “So you’re planning on doing some foreshadowing of that dark future?”

“I think it’ll be interesting, especially since the sequel is on the West End right now. Maybe people will take something away from it.”

“That’ll be great, if you’re comfortable with it.”

She snorted.
“I’m not planning to add a stripper pole, Liam.”

“I’m sure even if you did, it would be spectacular
.” I gave her a smile as we stepped through the clearing. And there, right where I remembered it, was a sparkling waterfall.

Amy gasped, and I grinned, glad that it had the desired effect. Peter had taken me to this waterfall a hundred times when I visited him as a child, and I had many fond memories of playing here. The first year I was out here, as a vampire, I came out and ducked behind the waterfall, nearly falling half a hundred times in my desperation to get away from human life. I had transformed in a cave that lay behind there, my cries of pain hidden by the rushing water, and my nightmare eased by the dawn sun sparkling off the lake. When things got too mu
ch, it was my favorite place in the world to come and sit. Watching the water rush over the cliff and into the river, it reminded me that the world was bigger than just me, and that I could handle everything that came my way; that chaos led into beauty and calm. I had been itching to come out here for a while now, and I was so glad Amy was here to share it with me.

The waterfall had the same
effect on me that it normally did, and I was quite content to sit on my usual rock and watch it. Amy perched beside me, closer than she had been in weeks, and I felt a shiver run up my spine.

“It’s beautiful,” she breathed.

“Isn’t it? I wanted to bring you here at dawn, but I was afraid that would be pushing it.”

She smiled.
“Now that I’ve seen it, I’d love to see it at dawn.”

“Well, we could always stay
.” I looked at my watch. “It’s only… hours away.”

She laughed, and I couldn’t help but be distracted
from the beauty of Mother Nature. She was so beautiful when she laughed. All the worry and tension eased out of her face and body, and she was relaxed, and pure.

We fell into silence for a moment and then we both spoke at once.

“Amy…”

“Liam…”

An awkward pause occurred.

“You go ahead,” I said
.

She accepted the offer.
“I’m sorry things have been so tense lately,” she finally got out, after a few false starts. “I’ve just been going through a lot, and there’s a lot going on in my head and I…”

“Hey, hey
.” I placed a hand on her shoulder. “You don’t own me an apology for anything. Even if nothing had changed in your life, you never had to explain yourself to me. You know that.”

“I know
.” She nodded. “But I want to.”

“Oh
.” I wasn’t sure what to say, but as it turned out, I didn’t need to say anything. All I needed to do was listen. And so listen I did.

Her words came tumbling out about everything; about her mother; about her health; about Ranger and
Drago and about death and life. And I found my voice as well, speaking more freely than I ever had. I was always so careful; so cautious; guarding what I could say to whom, and how I could say it. Before, I had felt I needed to protect Amy, to guard her from sadness and pain. But this was not the same girl I met before. She was stronger, wiser, and more of a fighter than that girl who had stood in front of me and read Beauty’s line in the audition. Her eyes held a wisdom that I hadn’t seen before, and although they looked tired, they also weren’t ready to give up yet. I told her about how I had been feeling, about the frustration and the fear of being alone, and how the others had left when I needed them most. And when her admission of Drago came tumbling out, so did mine about Nina.