Beautiful Monster 2 (20 page)

“I know
.”

I seemed to be able to come up with nothing but those two words. I knew that disaster was weighing heavily on us, and yet there was nothing I could do it about. I had an
ex-girlfriend who was about to drop dead, a ghost in my theater, and I was apparently the ringleader of a supernatural war and the headmaster to hundreds of kids. Five years ago, I couldn’t even keep track of my own car keys, and now all of this was on my shoulders.

“You should know that you are not the only one disapproving
,” I said. “The elders visited me and told me off for telling humans about my existence.”

“At least someone keeps order within the vampires,” Thomas replied. “I understand you lost one of your own.”

“We did.” I was surprised by his sympathy.

“My condolences,
we’ve been through it,” he said softly. “And we wish to never go through it again.”

“Thomas…”
My voice caught in my throat. “Porsche was…”

“Don’
t,” he cut me off. “Just don’t, Liam. We have tried every way we can to not soil her memory. But there’s nothing I can do to fix who her friends were.”

I swallowed hard
and tried to change the subject.

“Can you Shields do anything about ghosts?”

“Excuse me?”

“Ghosts.
I think I have a ghost in my theater. Any chance you can help me out?”

Thomas was silent a moment, thinking.

“It depends. If the ghost is a residual energy from the other side, then we cannot do anything. But if it’s a soul, trapped there, then we have the same effect on it as we do on other supernatural creatures. Ghosts are powerful creatures with a lot of knowledge, because they see and hear things others do not. If you have a ghost, it might be able to assist you.”

I nearly
dropped the phone in surprise. “You can make it human?”

“If it’s a soul trapped in this world, th
en we can make it more solid, yes. We can’t make it human, Liam, because we can’t raise the dead. If we could…”

“Can Sarah do it?” I asked
quickly, my heart pounding. “Would she be strong enough to do it?”

“Doubtful. Those Shields were always weak, while De Ritter Shields leave residual energy after they die, they are so powerful,” Thomas almost boaster. “Who’s the ghost?”

“Amy’s mother,” I blurted out. “At least… we think it is.”

“Ah
.” There was silence and then I heard Thomas sigh. “Your O’Malley Shield wouldn’t be strong enough, no. But if I have your word of honor, I’ll send you the Cameron’s active Shield, Larissa. But if anything happens to her, Liam, so much as a scratch…”

“Nothing will happen to her,” I replied. “Nothing, I promise.”

“It’ll be to your disadvantage as much as ours, for your allies will be weakened. She’ll be by your office in the morning.”

“Thank you,” I said
hurriedly, and we said our goodbyes.

I hung
up the phone and left my office door open as I bolted down the hallway, phone to my ear, with Amy’s number ringing.

Hi, you’ve reached Amy. I’m unable to come to the phone right now…

Of course you are
, I thought bitterly. She probably saw my caller ID and threw her phone against the wall. Annoyed, I rounded the corner to the cafeteria and found Sarah, who had recently rejoined the world of the living, first by piling her plate high with cafeteria food.

“Need you,” I said.

She raised an eyebrow, giving me a look of annoyance. “After I eat.”

“Can’t wait
.” I was practically hopping from one foot to the other.

Annoyed, Sarah left her full plate and followed me
to the theater.

“Everyone out!” I called
to the dance rehearsal that was happening in there.

They gave me a startled look, but I was in no mood for games as
I waved them out and promised them extra rehearsal time later. Once they were gone, I dimmed the lights.

“What the hell is happening?” Sarah asked, her arms crossed. “Because Amy’s not talking to you ri
ght now, so I’m not supposed to either.”

“If Amy jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?” I asked, pulling her to the spot where Porsche had died.

I remembered Thomas’s boast echoing in my head.
De Ritter Shields are so powerful they leave residual energy, even after they die.
If residual energy worked the way I hoped it did, then Sarah could combine whatever power she had with whatever Porsche had left me. And knowing my ballerina, if she had any control over it, she would make it work.

I turned off the last bank of lights, making sure Sarah was standing in the right spot.

“Alright. Now concentrate.”

“On what?” she asked, her voice sharp.

“On… whatever it is Shields do to make themselves more powerful. I don’t know, Porsche never did anything.”

“And I don’t know how to do anything!” she protested.

I hushed her and looked around, checking out every corner of the rafters, every fold in the curtain.

For a
while, nothing happened. And then, slowly, I felt the theater go colder.

It started around my feet, a white mist swirling, almost as if someone had turned on our fog machine. It crawled up my ankles, and then disappeared. I glanced at Sarah.

“Concentrate harder!”

She rolled her eyes, but did whatever it is she needed to do. The mist started again, crawling up my ankles and then rising, surrounding me before floating a few feet away. Slowly, it began to take the shape of a person, a woman, with shoulder
-length hair, of average height, who bore the same features that I knew so well. They could be sisters, in the wrong light. And those eyes, those eyes that had often saved me, bore into me as it solidified.

“Hello, Liam,” said Amy’s mother. “I have been looking forward to meeting you.”

“Amy! Amy! Amy! Amy!”

I had never been so annoyed in my life then when Sarah began pounding on my door at 8
am. For the last week, I hadn’t done much except stay in my room. I didn’t know whether it was a placebo effect or an actual effect of the disease, but I had been feeling lousy all week. And no one, not even my best friend, questioned the girl who now had AIDS. If I wanted to stay in bed most of the time then I could.

But apparently, Sarah had enough.

I dragged myself out of bed and opened the door. My head hurt, likely from lying down for twelve hours, and I winced as the light hit me.

“What the hell?” If she was here to tell me yet another thing about how sweet Connor was, I was going to kill her.

Grudgingly, I realized I was starting to sound like Liam. We had certainly spent too much time together.

“Get dressed
.” She was super excited. “I have to show you something I found last week.”

I raised an eyebrow. 
“You found something
last week
and you are just telling me now?”

“Well, we had to make it…
better first.”

“
We?
” I narrowed my eyes. “Who’s we?”

“Me….
myself and I,” she replied in a way that told me Liam was involved.

I shook my head and almost closed the door
on her face, but she reached through the gap and grabbed my arm.

“No, Amy,
please. You’ll like it.”

“Sarah…” I turned to meet her eyes, but she didn’t have a hint of humor in them. She was serious.

Sighing, I pulled her inside.

“Ok, ok, let me get dressed first. And then, if this is super lame, I’m never listening to you again.”

“Is there some symptom of AIDS that makes you bitchy to everyone who loves you? Can we get medication to control that?”

I sighed as I pulled a sweater over my head.

“I’m sorry. I’ve just been…”

“Don’t worry about it. This’ll make you feel better.”

I finished dressing and followed her out the door. Another time, I would have put on makeup and made sure I looked stage ready. But today, I didn’t care.

I followed Sarah to the stage of the Red
Theater. To my annoyance, Liam was waiting there. Immediately, I turned to go.

“No,” I said, but Sarah kept a firm grip on my arm.

“Amy, just trust us, ok?”

“Fine
.” Reluctantly, I followed her up on the stage.

Liam pointed to the spot where our lives changed, off in the wings where Porsche was killed.

Sarah stood off to the side, leaning against the wall. Liam made sure the lights were off. He still hadn’t said a word to me, and I thought that was probably the safest route. On top of that, my head was starting to swim and I wondered when the last time I had eaten was. I wanted to be back in bed, but Sarah had a firm grip on my wrist.

Just as I was about to complain, I saw it and my heart dropped to my stomach. The white mist that haunted my dreams began appearing again.

Quickly, I looked to them, one to the other, but neither of them seemed alarmed by this. I mean, this past year had not exactly been normal, but the fact that no one seemed phased by this worried me.

“Guys…?”

“Just watch, Amy.” Liam had a soft smile on his face. “I think that you’ll be pleasantly surprised.”

I raised an eyebrow but said nothing, watching the mist. Sarah had her feet firmly planted on the floor, her eyes closed, and she seemed highly focused.

I was about to open my mouth, dry as it was, when it began to take shape. And I saw exactly what I had seen on TV, but more solid.

Within a minute, standing in front of me, just as solid as Sarah or Liam, was my mother.

The mother I had never met; the mother I had only seen in pictures; the mother who I imagined would tell me bedtime stories or kiss my wounds or tell me the secret to boys.

She had a soft smile on her face and she was holding out her hand, as if I could take it.

“Hello, Amy.”

Tears filled
my eyes, and I put my hand over my mouth. We had learned, probably about the first month of last year, to tilt our head upwards when we stage cried, to not ruin the makeup. This time, however, they came spilling down my face, smearing whatever left over makeup I had on from yesterday. I couldn’t see, except through blurred vision, and it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest.

My hand trembled as
I reached out to take her hand. Despite myself, I shrieked when I made contact with warm flesh and jumped back.

Liam caught me before I slammed into a set piece.

“It’s ok,” he said.

I whipped around.
“How is this ok? How are you doing this?”

Nothing made sense anymore
and I couldn’t wrap my head around what was real and what was not. I looked from Liam to Sarah, and then finally to the person who I thought I would never see again.

“Mom
?”

“I’ve been watching you your whole life, Amy. You’ve grown into quite an impressive young woman. Just because you can’t see me doesn’t mean that I am not here.”

“But why can I see you?” I managed to make my voice steady in between sobs.

In my mother’s presence, all the hurt and confusion I had felt over the last few weeks came to a head, and I felt like it was finally alright to expose it, despite having never known her.

“Shields,” she replied. “A powerful shield leaves residual energy, and your friend Porsche was very powerful indeed. In addition, Sarah draws on power that has been untapped for years, thanks to her broken bloodline. A Shield can remove the supernatural element from anything, and so if a ghost is true a ghost and not a residual, it makes me…”

“Human,” I whispered
, and then threw myself into her arms.

This was a moment I had imagined my entire life, and now that it was here, I couldn’t get any of the practiced scenarios out of my mouth. I must have wasted whole days of my life thinking of what I would say if this moment ever came. Some days, I was happy, overjoyed and would ask her everything, knowing that she would be a world of knowledge. Some days, I was angry, blaming her for the disease that would one day take me to her. Some
days, I just sat in silence with the vision of her, enjoying every mundane daily activity. But at the moment, I couldn’t do anything but hug her and cry.

Eventually, I pulled back, grateful that she did not break ou
r embrace, even when it became too long. I was aware of Sarah and Liam behind me and I turned my head slightly.

“Is it possible that I could get some time
alone with my mother?”

“Of course,” Liam replied, and exited as if this was a show and he was a practiced player. Sarah, however, remained routed.

“Sarah?” I asked, looking her in the eye.

“If I leave, Amy,” she said
slowly. “She’ll still be here, but not as strong. Not as real. You won’t be able to touch her.”

I looked back to my mother, who had her arms lightly on my shoulders.

“Stay, then,” I replied, and looked around for somewhere we could both sit. Finding an apple box, I nudged it over with my foot, not letting go of her. It’s like we were playing some sort of bizarre theater game; never breaking contact. I took a deep breath. “I don’t know where to start. I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to
.” She brushed a lock of hair out of my eyes. “I know everything. And it’s tough, Amy, but you will get through this.”

“How do you know?” I asked, biting my lip. “Can you see the future?”

“The other world… isn’t like here, Amy. There is no time, no past, present and future. I can see the choices you can make and the consequences they lead to.”

“I’m just so tired,” I replied, sniffling. “When I was away, I hated being gone, and now that I’m here, I hate it too. And I can’t…
I don’t know what’s going on with Liam and me, and it’s been 18 years of doctor’s appointments and needles and medication and I don’t know if I can take it anymore!” My voice had reached a hysterical pitch and it broke.

She
laid a soft kiss on my forehead. “Ssssh, my love, I know. I know. And that is a choice you can make, my love, and it will lead to the consequence that you feel is the easiest.” She met my eyes and I nodded, feeling relief go through my chest. “But life is not easy, my darling, and easy won’t always make you happy. Especially someone with a spirit as strong as you.”

I shook my head.
“Mom, I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“I will support you with whatever choice you make,” she replied, brushing a tear away from my cheek. “You don’t have to pretend to be anyone. At least, anyone you don’t want to
.” She gave me a small smile. “But I want you to fight, my love. You have such a strong future and there is so much more you can achieve. You can fight this, Amy, and you will enjoy your life.”

“But I can’t beat this
.” Another tear slipped down my cheek. “You know that. Nothing has changed from when you were around. They still can’t cure it.”

She squeezed my hand.
“I’m not promising you anything, Amy. So many things depend on your choices and the choices of the people around you. But no matter what, I will support you, and the outcome will be something you’ve worked for, one way or another.”

I turned this over in my head. She seemed to know my thoughts before I was thinking them
. She knew me as if she spent my whole life beside me, like she had spent her life raising me and letting me know her values and traditions. And looking deep into her eyes, I felt like I knew her too, like I could see into her soul. I knew her well. I could see how it would have been; whether she was waiting in the kitchen with cookies or whether she was telling me about how to deal with boys. I was as comfortable beside her as with my father, which was strange, because I hadn’t actually known her my whole life. But she was my mother, and she always would be.

“What about Dad?” I asked. “I’m sure you want to see Dad.”

She nodded. “Of course. When the time is right, I would love to. I’m sure he has much to share with me.”

“But
, don’t you know it all already?”

She winked at me.
“Listening to it in his own words would be a treat. But tell him when the time is right, Amy. All of this, I’m not sure he’s ready for. You’ve had a year to process it all, and it’s still strange for you, isn’t it? Imagine how your father would feel as you explain to him all of this at once.”